In my opinion, DQK has two weak parts, which are unfortunately rather close : the first one is the cave full of draconians ; the second one is worse and happens to be the lighthouse we've been told to visit in the last update.
I usually try to go through them as fast as possible. In fact, there's a way to bypass almost all of the lighthouse, though you'd have to be extremely lucky to discover it on your own the first time you play the game.
Obviously, I'm not going to use it for this LP, but I'll try to keep a fairly brisk pace during this part of the game. Posting more screenshots of the lighthouse probably wouldn't make it more entertaining to you.
After leaving Hizden, our heroic party travels a short way north, to the lighthouse where they've been told they can find a wise wizard to advise them.
This doesn't look like the lair of a reclusive lunatic
at all !
Level 1
I'm almost beginning to miss Hizden...
I don't think anyone has ever found a wizard on the ground floor of his tower. Let's look for some stairs.
Poor creature. Maybe we should...
Look, I'm all for doing good deeds when we get the chance, but I'm pretty damn sure that freeing this ettin will only bring us trouble. Either the stupid thing will attack us or the owners of that web will. Maybe even both.
Leaving the ettin the way they found it, our party keeps moving.
I'm guessing it is my superior Intelligence score that allows us to recognize this illusion for what it is and thus avoid this trap.
Sure. And it's your abysmal Charisma score that keeps away all the monsters that live in this place.
Go get fucked by an otyugh, you pansexual slut.
This place is a complete ruin ! Does anybody really live here ?
Crazy wizards who live in complete isolation are probably not big on interior maintenance.
Let's just hope the whole building doesn't collapse while we're exploring it.
The party goes back the way it came, waving to the ettin as they do so.
It doesn't take long to find some stairs that can still be used :
Level 2
Say, you guys want to take bets as to how many levels this lighthouse has ? I'm betting ten gems on eight levels.
You're being too pessimistic. I say six levels.
You're both being too optimistic. I say ten levels !
Oh yeah ? Well, I say eleven !
And I say... I say thirteen !
Let's not get crazy. Hmm... I'm betting on nine levels.
I wish I had pink drapes to hang up or something.
All right ! Let's set these things on fire !
That's your answer to everything.
What can I say ? I'm a girl with needs.
Two fireballs later, things aren't going well for our enemies :
As a ranger, Kundry inflicts especially high damages to creatures like ettins, trolls and giants, not that it was really necessary in this case.
Shortly after this very easy fight, we find stairs leading to the next level :
Level 3
Our party goes through a few corridors without any trouble and quickly get to the next stairs :
Cool story, midget.
I want a sphere of annihilation, but you don't see me waiting on some stairs for some random people to come and bring it to me. So go fuck yourself.
Ow ! It's at times like these that I regret being in the front.
Well, it looks like we'll have to find this thingamajig...
ELORIN SMASH PUNY BARRIER !!!
When will you ever learn that there are some problems in CRPGs that violence really cannot solve ?
The spiders are no more dangerous than the smaller ones we met much earlier. The bats are completely insignificant, especially since they're trapped behind their eigh-legged friends, which make them perfect targets for a fireball.
(However, just before the fight ended, one of my mages managed to get hit by one of the few surviving spiders and failed her save vs poison. Since I'd completely neglected memorizing Neutralize Poison, I had to reload. That'll teach me to choose options I know are stupid.)
The party looks around for the gnome's gizmo...
...and finds it less than twenty yards away from the stairs.
We've had some stupid quests given to us before, but this one just might out-stupid them all.
We go back to the gnome and give him his thingie.
The gnome leaves just after freeing the way.
Come back here, you lazy runt ! I'm going to cut out your liver with a butter knife !
Level 4
On this new level, the party hasn't gone very far when :
Let me guess, don't tell me, you're going to give us a quest so we can prove that we're worthy of going past you.
Let's just kill them. Re-kill. Whatever.
Maybe we could simply...
...bribe them ?
That's right, we're dealing with
corrupt ghostly guardians. For a single gem, they'll let us pass by them. Several directions are available to us. The one we choose brings us to a locked door :
Since we don't have a thief and I'm pretty sure none of you has thought of memorizing a Knock spell, I suggest letting the one of us who has a girdle of giant strength deal with this.
Shouldn't take long...
The ancient document turns out to be a "to do" list :
- Fix the light
- Find more power
- Block doorway
- Train gorgons
- Bribery ?
- Visit library
- Repair broken teleporter
- Install new doors
- Clean the basement
Only the first item is checked.
Either we're dealing with an extremely lazy wizard or with a long-dead one.
This way turns out to be a dead end, so we go back on our steps.
Yeah, yeah, here's your gem. Man, I'm feeling so disillusioned right now...
We take a new direction, which quickly leads us to new stairs.
Level 5
Ow !
What the hell ?
There seems to be no way of avoiding the effects of the vortex. The party aims for the center of the floor, taking low damages each time they take a step.
We go by another poorly-hidden pit :
Right now, I really don't care !
We finally reach the center of the floor and it turns out to also be the eye of the storm :
Ah ah. Putting a warning in a place you can only reach by going through the danger you're warning people about. We're dealing with either someone who has a very special sense of humor or someone who's dumber than the average zombie.
On the bright side, we can rest here. Nobody's going to disturb us.
Indeed, the party is able to rest and memorize spells without fear of being attacked by random monsters.
Then it's time to leave this haven and brave the vortex again in order to find the stairs leading up :
Fortunately, it doesn't take too long.
Level 6
I'm getting really sick of this place...
Are these pits some sort of running gag or what ?
As we explore the floor, we suddenly hear whispering voices :
Looks like the owner of this charming place is still alive after all.
Yes, and whoever these punks are, I'm not letting them kill him after all the time we've already wasted here ! Charge !
Fuck, I'm the first to act, what do I do ?
Just attack them bare-handed !
Attacking bare-handed means inflicting less damage, which is for the best in this case, since the Fire Shield protecting the wizards will hurt the attacker for twice the damage s/he inflicts. A single point of damage is all that's needed to prevent the wizard from doing anything useful until the next round.
Unfortunately, attacking bare-handed also means you don't get your weapon's Thac0 bonus. Kundry misses her target.
But the initiative god isn't with the dark wizards today : Faerlin is the second to act and is able to cast a Cone of Cold, wounding a wizard and killing another :
While the Fire Shields (cold flames) seem to always protect the dark wizards against DBFs, they have a negative effect : if a dark wizard fails his save against a Cone of Cold, he receives weirdly huge damages, enough to kill him four or five times.
Sayali is next to act. Fortunately, she's just close enough to kill the third wizard with her Power Word : Kill.
The warriors all attack the surviving wizard bare-handed (Silivrin has obviously removed her girdle of giant strength). His Mirror Images make him difficult to hit at first, but destroying all of them doesn't take long.
The wizard doesn't survive much longer. The clerics quickly heal Kundry, who's been slightly hurt by the Fire Shield, and we go back to exploring this floor.
It turns out to be fairly empty. The only monsters we meet flee from us :
Come back and fight, you cowards !
Forget about them. I have a feeling I'm going to lose my bet : there's no way we're nearing the top of the lighthouse yet.
In the next update, the tower doesn't become more interesting, but the fights become harder.