(shameless ad for Ogg's BB avatars)
Hey rabidredneck
What is it, Monocause?
You heard who we playing next? The Lowdown Rats!
Gobbos?! You gotta be shitting me.
I shit you not, Shuma. It's squishy time!
Hurray!
Hurray!
Mooooo!
...
Hurray!
(/shameless ad for Ogg's BB avatars)
Blood for the Blood God!
Match 15!
We've finally arrived, guys, fighting the (in)famous Lowdown Rats. Don't expect them to go down too easy, tho'. They have 3 secret weapons (a pogo stick, fanatic and looney, tell you more about them as we encounter them) and count 'em: two trolls. Two! The gobbos go down easy, but the trolls do not, as they can even regenerate from injury.
They get a heap of cash but apparently have no problems filling the field, they buy no replacements or star players, instead going for a bribe the ref (which I
think allows them to keep a secret weapon on the pitch one time, but I'm not sure) and an extra re-roll (for a whoppin' EIGHT total rerolls!)
I'm receiving the ball...
The fools are wasting their secret weapons, both the pogo stick (who has the ball to kick off) and the fanatic (between NiM and Monocause) are on the field. Notice the stats on the fanatic: with a strength of 7 this is a hardy bastard to bring down. He moves erratically, often hurting teammates as much as us. As a rule, I tend to just try to avoid him (seems to be my main tactic with secret weapons, really)
The bigger they are...
Holy shit. What the Fuck. Barbecue.
I decide I'm feeling like taking a risk so I let Monocause - with two red dice - make a block. I roll up an attacker down and defender down, so I reroll: reroll gives attacker down and both down. AI picks both down (naturally), but Monocause has block. And BAM! Injury! Apothecary brings him back but woooh-doggy, that was fun.
Tentacles prevent a blitz. Oddly enough they try multiple times to blitz away from OldSkoolKamikaze, and his tentacles just hold 'em off every time.
And there goes their other secret weapon! Swafag (lol wut) is taken out by OldSkoolKamikaze, and dies! Buh-bye, pogo dude, you shan't be missed.
By this point I'm getting a bit annoyed. Not because Cojones just threw another both down on their troll (dude really needs the block skill), but because all those Gobbos on the right side of the field are still standing. The Seaskuas just kept dicing up defender stumbles or pushed, which is useless against all these Gobbos who have dodge.
ARGH.
The dodge skill will keep popping up its ugly head saving those Gobbos throughout the match.
kingcomrade and Biz take care of the lone Goblin who managed to follow them, and saunter to right in front of the endzone, as the midfield (attempt at) slaughter continues.
Fouling up the troll gets HanoverF sent off. The referee, a goblin himself, is
obviously partial as hell.
Booo! Kill the ref!
Down in our half of the field, I spot Gritgob, an annoying level 4 gobbo with two +stat bonuses (agility and movement allowed). A dangerous player, and I find myself thinking it'd be nice to get rid of him.
Rabidredneck hears my plea, and send Gritgob off to Goblin Valhalla.
Whaaaahaheeei! Touchdown, SerratedBiz!
Their troll returns, and despite a few KOs they still field a full team, including...
The looney. Be careful around this one, he's dangerous. They also put their fanatic on the field. It's a bit stupid of the AI, to be honest, there's only 2 turns left in this half anyway, so he's wasting his secret weapons.
Doi doi! They never seem to manage to keep two trolls on the field for long.
Kingcomrade blitzed straight through to the ball-carrier. The goblin tries to escape but fails his dodge.
Kingcomrade blitzes the goblin left to guard the ball and picks it up. A badly planned move by me, tho', as you can see moving the square down to pick up the ball will put him out of range to score.
We can still have some fun slau-
The hell?
Wondering how the lowly gobbos did this? They fouled him. Oh yes. Gobbos are experts at fouling up prone players.
Their player initially gets sent off but they use their bribe to keep him in the game.
Anyway, I apothecary him back, figuring that without their secret weapons and trolls the goblins won't do all that much damage in the second half.
Speaking of which...
Second half!
They have two players dead, two sent off, and a troll plus two gobbos knocked out. They still field 9 players, but it's a troll and eight regular Gobbos. No worries.
We get a blitz event, and I manage to get kingcomrade to within two squares of the ball before it even lands!
They knock him down though (with 4 gobbos), but do not pick up the ball, and after downing the troll, I move in plenty of players to have a bit of a fight there in their half.
Mukshag fails epically at dodging Monocause.
kingcomrade, not happy with them tackling him, jumps up for a blitz and injures yet another Gobbo. Hurray!
They get the ball again. Check out their overstocked injury ward in the background.
The ball carrier survives two blocks thanks to his dodge skill (yip, more defender stumbles rolls). But his support crew is crumbling as we KO two nearby Gobbos, and finally...
Push him off the pitch, where the crowd injures him. The ball is - surprisingly - thrown back right to us!
And, since Vortexx is nearby anyway...
One.
Two.
TOUCHDOWN!
Next possession they field 6 players, so I decide to kick it right at one of 'em at the LoS just to see him freak out.
Witit picks up the ball as their trolls knocks himself out on a failed block on Monocause. Ogg Jr blitzes in!
Derrr.
Reroll!
HURRAY!
He fails his ball pick-up, and it goes out of bounds, thrown back in near the Line of Scrimmage again. At this point I still have a scoring opportunity, but it's theoretical. I need to have Vortexx go for it to pick-up the ball (and needed my final reroll for that) and then position Ogg Jr to within TD range. Vortexx will need to perform a handoff without rerolls. Oh dear.
But first some comedic filler as Cojones damages Figmuk's back. Hilarious!
Ok guys, fingers crossed? You ready for this?
SUCCESS!!
Go team!
Two deaths, five casualties (plus two from tackles), three touchdowns. Total slaughter.
A rain of well-spread SPPs follow.
Monocause gets tackle as I'm growing so tired of those dodgy bastards (and the elves are up next)
And Ogg Jr gets block. You're making your pappy proud, son!
And still NOT A SINGLE FUCKING STAT-UP. I swear this game is fucking with me.
And with that match, we're a lock for the playoffs. That's right, the Elves beat the Lizardmen, so the next match is just to determine who gets first place and who gets second.
Oh, so kind of an exhibition match.
Oh well, in that case we should just play it low-key, friendly-like, avoid causing injuries, y'know...
...
AHAHAHAAHAHAH!
Mooooo!
(finally got enough to replace Mantiis now, yet I'm still in doubt. Damn this doubt!)