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The only sliiiiightly hard part is to somehow convince a mindRAEP resistent raging furfag WHO is the enemy he has to attack. I am not entirely sure that singeing his fur would push him in the right direction.
But hey, there's always room for another 100kg of emergency meat in the freezer, amirite?
Maybe I wasn't clear enough on this, so one more time: komrades that are currently recruited are free to act however they please. All you need to do is post yer (erotic) fantasies here and let me figure out the rest.
Kalin can be more specific on his Klubhauz plan, coz I have no idea where this is going.
Bliblablubb can mind-control ATTEMPT to mind-control or mildly influence someone's mind in some specific way (like in Cheetah's case). Might require a throw of dice in some cases.
Lizzurd can decide on whether he follows Shodan's or Spigot's guidance.
Reinhardt can let his fury go wild (currently turned off). It will make his wolf form stronger, but werewolf fury is uncontrollable, so there might be casualties.
Reinhardt can let his fury go wild (currently turned off). It will make his wolf form stronger, but werewolf fury is uncontrollable, so there might be casualties.
Don't listen to drunkard.
Just make power line and steal some electricity. KKK will be building solar plants and batteries soon, nobody notice disappearance of 1000 w or so, Grimwulf can't do math anyway. Also pretty much sure you can bribe Bliblablubb and make her mind control Cheetah for some useful research - like Colored lights. You NEED them for clubhouse.
If it is truly not possible to do anything then retreat and call it a scouting mission. Enemy Bases are persistent, right? Maybe we can plan a real attack.
If you were to make it look like a holy crusade against evil grimdeer on the other hand... But, for that he would need to suck up to Cheetos, who would then make Grimwulf think it would be his own idea, who then would get me on the job. Heh, of course boot couldn't even convince anyone that the sky is blue. So nope, solo adventure for you it is.
And not while the KKKolony is unprotected against raiders and confused furfags tho.
I would say "nice knowing you boot", but I don't think I even aknowledged his presence yet.
No. I've never seen them so huge and... well, monstrous.
It could be still lurking somewhere...
I highly doubt that. Normally they can't stay in wolf form for so long.
You seem to know a lot about them.
I know some things. About two years ago people all over the continent started reporting werewolf attacks. Seems like werewolf population has grown from a few dozens to several thousands. I don't know what was the cause of it, but right now we're facing a real threat. I've heard rumors of a mysterious werewolf clan that coordinates their whole kind, but all my attempts to track it down were in vain.
So... Is it contagious? A virus of sorts?
No, I don't believe it is.
What do they want? Is it about hunting humans or what?
Not sure... Sorry, Grim. I really don't know that much about werewolves.
THEN DO SOME GODDAMN RESEARCH, CHEETAH!! ASK YER AGENT FRIEND, DO SOMETHING! I won't have my Kolony be threatened by supernatural motherfuckers, not while I'm at war with Grimdeer!
Right. Reinhardt might share some insights. I bet the Agency was investigating the werewolf spreading.
Aye, do that.
One more thing, Grim.
What?
People who shout at me tend to lose their tongues. Just something for you to consider in the future.
One hour later.
Look at this mess, Boromir.
*BLOB BLAB BLUBB*
I'm not gonna build new doors every fucking time a giant-ass wolf comes visiting KKK!
*gurgle*
I mean, FOR FUCK'S SAKE - use a goddamn DOOR HANDLE, you piece of lupus shit!!
*crawls outside, unable to listen to Grimwulf's swearing any longer*
Why open dem doors, when you can simply RAM THRU, right?! Motherfucker.
*enters the dining room* Have you seen my panties, Kommissar? Must have left them somewhere. So embarassing.
Are you sure this... soup... thing... doesn't contain your panties? Because I can DEFINITELY taste shit, urine and dirty leather!
I'll have you know that my panties aren't from leather, Kommissar! They are 100% wool, hand-crafted by myself! Very warm and fluffy.
My kolony turns into a goddamn asylum... WITH NO DOORS! *walks outside grumbling*
Later that morning.
*talks while sleeping* No, no. No. Yes? Ke ke ke, SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEE, kek.
Calm down, bro. It's all right.
*opens his eyes*
It's just a bad dream, bro. Wake up.
*closes his eyes*
Hey?
I am hallucinating...
Lizzurd, come on! Snap out of it!
*opens his eyes again*
Welcome back.
Boot! So glad to see you, kek. No homo.
The Old Gods are angry with you. They gave you one day.
Wh-what?!
Mm? I'm saying, your mom's broth is waiting for you. She left you one bowl.
... Oh. Kek.
Are you feeling all right?
... It's cold. I need to start a fire to warm myself.
We have no wood to spare.
I know.
*burning shit (literally)*
One. Last. Day.
*runs to the workshop*
Stop runnin' like a fooken dingo!
MY SON IS NOT A DINGO! More like a graceful llama.
Mom!
Would you both shut up? I'm trying to work here.
Drawing picturs of naked Grimwulf ain't working, Cheetah.
It's a battery blueprint.
Looks like naked Grimwulf to me.
*murmurs* It kinda does...
One hour later.
This projects SCREAMS "I am a man suffering from insecurity"
Shuddup and cut bushes. And trees. And moss. And... fuck it. *pshhhhh* KOMRADES, dis is your Kommissar speakin'! I want EEEEVERYOOOOONE cutting down everything that so much as RESEMBLES plantlife!!
*pop-pops in protest*
Later that day.
Kommissar, there is a thing I wish to discuss.
What is it, private?
Oh, please let it be lubricants!
... Lubricants?
I use only the best for my pickaxe. Makes it penetrate iron veins smoothly, jejeje.
... Riiight. Anyway, I wish to become a part of KKK's elite commando squad. I even thought of a name - Grimhound.
Why would we need an elite commando squad?
To bring the fight to the enemy territory.
Hrmpf. I don't know...
This man SPEAKS WORDS OF WISDOM, Grimwulf!
Sir, send me out on a one-man mission. I can do more than cleaning and cutting trees, and I can prove it.
Need to sleep with dat thought, Boot. Maybe later.
As you say, sir.
Greetings.
Forgot to rename Don, will be fixed in further updates.
Are you done with the shitters?
... Yes.
Then CUT ME SOME FILTHY BUSHES, you lazy-arse maggot! Chop-chop!
One hour later.
*hateful gurgle*
Move along, Eldritch. Before I forget my manners.
Why can't we all live in peace and admire the throbbing of Birbor Caramba's tentacles?
What do you want for a birthday present, Luka-boy?
Strapon and fedora.
Good. What about you, Boot?
Why?
Just answer the question.
I... don't know. Nothing?
Nothing, huh..?
Do you want to know when is my birthday?
No.
But--
I couldn't care less about your desires, Luka-boy. It was a simple test. Mind-controlled subjects have troubles with wishing for something, or expressing desires in any other way.
What if I really don't want anything?
Then you have no reason to live a life, friend. *SUDDENLY turns around and snatches wolf's corpse from Bliblablubb's tentacles*
*SHRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK*
Shut your shrieking mouths, Eldritch! This wolf used to have much more decency than you ever will. His lifeless body deserves to be handled by human hands.
A bit later.
Nice hat...
Not a hat, you dimwit. It's an ushanka. Made it for the veggie, Kommissar's orders.
Ushanka for that monster? Don't make me laugh. I'll take it for myself.
Like I give a fuck.
My advice - don't mess with Bimbo.
What do you want for a birthday present, Cheetah?
Don't. I know your methods. Not to mention I already confessed I'm being mind-controlled - do you think I was joking?
... I see. I'll find a way to set you free.
No need, Reinhardt. I can take care of myself.
Apparently not.
If you want to do something for me, you can share your knowledge about werewolves.
... What do you want to know?
Everything.
Well... The Agency couldn't figure out who was the Patient Zero--
Eh? Patient Zero? Are ya tellin' tis some sort of experimental mumbo-jumbo?
Of course it started as an experiment - what did you think, Kalin? A curse? Or maybe mutation?
Some hoe fucking a sexy wolf, giving birth to hairy child. No, wait... That was mah Grimwulf theory.
Ignore Kalin.
Right... Whoever was Patient Zero, apparently he was very popular among women. This condition is not contagious, you have to be born with it. Anyone you see might be a werewolf without even knowing about it.
How's that?
Simple. A full moon triggers the first transformation, only you don't simply shapeshift right away. Certain conditions are required to be met in order for it to happen.
Which are..?
Certain state of mind. The werewolf must be willing to... let go. Statistically, those who are insane or enraged during the full moon are affected most often.
I see...
Once you transform once, further transformations can happen at will, almost anytime.
You seem to know a lot...
Which makes sense, doesn't it? I am a former agent, after all. We've been trying to put an end to this menace for years now.
What do you think about them? Are they really a menace?
Abominations. They are not supposed to exist in human world. If you excuse me, Cheetah - I have work to do.
It was a calm, productive day.
Lizzurd ran out of granite chunks, and was gone for hours "searching". Goddamn loiterer.
Boot men seems to have a deathwish. The whole GRIMHOUND arrangement sounds suicidal to me.
Well, less mouths to feed.
Kalin does tailoring. Ushanka for Bessy Bum (can't remember why did I order to make it, but eh), new pants for that guy... What was his name?
GRIMLIN. My Legacy.
Soon.
Later that evening.
I did what you asked me to do.
I honoured my part of the bargain as well. Toni's dead. The Agency won't know about your secret book.
Reinhardt, you told me that if something horrible attacks KKK and you won't be around...
I remember what I said perfectly well. It was all about the alibi.
BUT YOU DIDN'T MENTION YOU ARE A WER--
SHHHHHHH! Keep it down, you fucking idiot!
*whispers* We should tell them!
Not now!
But it will happen again!
I can control it... if nothing interferes, that is. Look. I might need your help again.
Kek, no. No, no, no. No.
Need a secluded cave somewhere away from KKK. With a massive stone door - no, make it two stone doors at the entance. Think you can help me arrange that?
... Well...
It's for your own damn safety, Lizzurd! Come on!
I might know a man who knows a man.
Then TALK to your man! Tell him this is absolutely necessary!
Shit... I don't know...
One day, when this colony will be overrun by raiders and other hostiles, you will thank whatever gods you worship that I am fighting by your side.
You say that aliens, monsters and other abominations do not deserve to live among humans. Aren't you a monster yourself?
...
*walks away*
*lights one of Toni's cigars and looks at the full moon*
One hour later.
LIZZURD, YOU FUCK!! TELL YOUR WHORE MOTHER TO STOP VOMITING MAH WORKSPACE!!
Moooom!
There is something wrong with shchi... Urrrgh
*enters the workshop* Ooooh, new pants...
... Lying in a pile of vomit...
My mother always said that a real man smells of woman.
Told Boot to clean the mess in my cozy KKK. Dat's more important than his Grimhound nonsense.
You can control your wolf form and transform at will any time. It does have cooldowns, but that's not an issue.
Full moon transformations are different. Let's look at this once more:
Currently this option is turned off, which means you don't randomly transform during full moons.
If I turn it on, you WILL transform and your wolf form will be uncontrollable. However, if you won't get lazor'd by over-protective Bimbo, at the end of transformation you will "unlock" new types of wolf forms or level up existing ones, boosting your werewolf stats.
Just make power line and steal some electricity. KKK will be building solar plants and batteries soon, nobody notice disappearance of 1000 w or so, Grimwulf can't do math anyway.
If it is truly not possible to do anything then retreat and call it a scouting mission. Enemy Bases are persistent, right? Maybe we can plan a real attack.
See, the problem is you might not even survive the road. Nearest settlement is miles away. You might:
- starve;
- get raepd by werewolves;
- get ambushed by Grimdeer;
- get bitten by a damn squirrel and die from infection;
- get snipe'd by Umbra PMC;
- did I mention starve?
If we bothered to research Microelectronics Basics, we could build a comms console. And then get quests from other factions, revealing nearby locations and places of interest. Would make sense to send expeditions at that point. Right now a long march is really, really opportunistic. Hell, we don't even have canned food - that broth will go bad in a couple days who am I kiddin', it IS bad already! Look at Krivol vomiting all over the Kolony!
It's meta, but i heard i was not the first werewolf in these parts of the world. Missus Grimwulf still have that bottle she appropriated? Maybe we can come to agreement.
All this furfag talk made me come up with anutha cunning plan! Since Grim has proven he can't be trusted to pay wages, much less mah fuckin bonas, ima craft a SILVER CLUB for *enhanced* KKK protekshun. No one can say a thang cuz there be fuckin werewolves around and da space cop needs proper gear. I will liturally get muh hands on a yuge chunk of yehzah and I can either stash dat bling bling in Kool Kommand or carry it around like a fuckin pimp Space Witcher. Then if I ever need cash ima just melt it down, be like, silver standard bitch!