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I was going to post another update yesterday, but irl fuckery interrupted. And now I can't write shit, coz all I can do after work is drink and be miserable play shitty games like The Guild 2.
So. No key choices this time. Fucking Grimwulf, I know.
And no goat-enslaving activities this day, you hear? I wanna see some old-fashioned genocide!
*mildly dissapointed pop-pop*
A bit later.
Oh, hi. Ummm...
Could you... How do I even say it..?
*impatient poppping*
Could you purge a certain anomaly in my head?
*confused gurgle*
I can hear voices. And see dead people. I fear I might turn into Grimwulf!
*crawls away with uncertain bubbling*
Is that a yes? Veggie? Hey?
*head-tentacles are looking very contemplative, while Bliblablubb is hunting*
Meanwhile.
Senor Kalin?
*wakes up, swearing* Fucking savage fagget cunt. WHAT?!
Do you like my beard? I washed it good. *touches his face* So... silky.
I will club ye. I'm serious. RUN, YOU FUCK!
*moonwalking outside with an arresting David Blane stare*
*mumbles* Gotta speed up mah bunker. This fucking place, I swear.
Meanwhile.
*enters the workshop, throwing a glance at sleeping Freddie*
*examines her research* It's taking forever...
*goes on with her work with a sigh*
One hour later.
Psst. Lizzurd.
Hey.
Can ya keep a secrut?
Sure.
Take a luk. *shows Lizzurd a hand-drawn scheme*
Whaddya think?
It's... Wow.
ITZ gonna b YUGE!!!
What if they find out?
I already mine and haul shit all day long. KKKers are lazy fucks, no one will figure out a thing.
Well. Good luck then?
Could use some help with mah project, if you catch my drift. Want a private room? Some SPACE BITCHES maybe? PHAT LEWT??
Sounds risky...
Lettin' Grimwulf make all the calls is risky. One day this whole shit gonna blow up - where will you go to save ya refugee ass? KALIN'S KAPITALIST BUNKER, dat's where!
I need a moment to think it over.
Bettar do it fast. Or I'll club ye.
*mumbles to himself* How comes the broth tastes EVEN WORSE?! FUCK!
*opens the door* Time to cook.
YOUUUUUUUU! YOU COOKED DAT SHIT!
Not shit. Caparrones.
IT'S FUCKING RAW MEAT FLOATING IN COLD DIRTY WATER!!
Yes. Caparrones. *enters the fridge*
A bit later.
*GURGLE*
Hmm. This recurring hallucination again.
*cheerful pop-pop*
I wouldn't be surprised if you are actually the prettiest lady in the colony and it's Grimwulf's drugs intended effect to make you look hideous to me.
*flattered bubbling sound*
I have to face my fears.
*jumps at Bliblablubb and kisses her second mouth-tentacle with DETERMINATION*
*shocked, yet aroused gurgle*
Gh. Urrrgh. *tries hard not to vomit* You are NOT a hallucination!
Later that morning.
Hey, Cook. You look sort of depressed. What's wrong?
I don't want to talk about it.
Making friends, Lizzurd?
Yep. I'm a friendly guy.
Good for you. Maybe one day you will form a schmuck diaspora of KKK.
Mean.
*wakes up* Mmm... Why do you have to keep your prisoners inside the workshop?
It's the bestest place around here, trust me on that. You don't want to see the barracks, jejeje.
One hour later.
What's your full name?
Adams. Freddie Adams.
Well then, private Adams. Let me fill you in the details.
Your Company is destroying settlements all over the continent. I don't like it. Bad for the business.
Nothing you can do about it.
Not in my current state, true. But I do have a goal. Kodex Kommunistic Kolony will become a fearsome military fortress soon enough.
*smirks* Yeah, right.
This place is special, private Adams. Grimwulf is special.
You'll never build a fortress strong enough to protect you from the Company. Once they decide to erase you from the world map, they will.
The goal is not defense. I will destroy them.
Can you even hear yourself? Do you have any idea what sort of power are you dealing with?
I've dealt with worse, Freddie. Much worse. Of course, I was never alone - you can't win a war without an army.
Here we go again.
You're green, but loyal. You are a soldier. We could use you.
That's right - LOYAL! You've killed my battle sister and my friend! You plan to wage war against the Company that took care of me! I will never join you.
Never say never.
Meanwhile.
*gurgle, gurgle, GURGLE*
What, WHAT??
*guuuuuuuuurgle*
Whatever it is - go for it, Brenda. You have my blessing.
*happy pop-pop*
The wall looks solid. Won't keep our northern flank safe, but at least it will slow down enemy approach.
Our security is trash-tier right now. We need turrets, and a lot of them.
Then do your RESEARCH, Grimwulf! Build power stations! Build turrets!
*grumbles* The woman said we need hydroponics.
WHY DOES THE WOMAN MAKES DECISIONS?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
I wish Kalin didn't bring her along in the first place. Fucking Kalin. He is the cause of all KKK's problems.
Meanwhile.
I'm not known for my patience, Freddie.
For the last time - NO! I will NOT join this colony!
Polite approach isn't working. Again. Hard way it is then. *tosses her knife*
KKK's new cook is trash. Still saves me some time, so I can build stuff.
Also, he's decent at tree choppin'. So there's that.
Blobra is playing on my nerves too. Why can't she speak words like a normal person?
Dem vegetables always gurgling and popping for no reason, I swear. That's why I prefer meat. Meat and vodka.
Anyway, we're so low on wood, I'm at a loss, really. Everything in KKK needs constant refueling. My generator, light sources, workshop's fireplace, even the cooking station.
Meanwhile goddamn Cheetah decides we can set up even more fueled generators to power up hydroponics. Stupid wymin.
The PMC guy with faggot hair is a tough case. Cheetah convinced me to construct a simple prosthesis workbench, so we can replace our lost limbs and whatnot. This toolset would also come in handy to sew an eyepatch for Freddie.
He didn't even thank me, that bastard. I should have thrown his corpse in the fridge, coz there is no way in hell he will join us.
Which is okay, really. It only means more work for Kalin. I can roll with that no prob.
Okay, time to build more chairs like an absolute PRO!
FUCK!!!
Need wood. *goes outside* LIZZURD! WORK FASTER, DAMN YOU!!
Unfairness. *enters the workshop*
My life is unfairness.
Senor Kommissar, your people need more fiestas.
I'll cut your cock off. Think you can cook dat?
It won't fit in human mouth, I'm afraid.
Meanwhile.
*pshhh psh psh* Kalin, come in.
*pshhhh* WHAT?! I'M BUSY!!
Umm, how do you make and apply an eyepatch?
DO I LUK LIKE AN EYEPUTCH EXPURHT? DO I?!
... Yes? You are wearing one?
YOU TAKE A PIECE OF FOOKIN' LETHER AND SMASH IT DOWN YER FACE! That's how fucking Azira did it back in the day, maniacal fkn drunkard motherfucker-- *swearing doesn't stop*
Umm, over and out. *turns off the radio*
It's just an eyepatch.
You make it sound so simple.
*brings a bowl of something extremely foul and smelly* Enjoy your dinner, private Adams. It might be your last.
Meanwhile.
*romantic popping*
Nooo, stay away from me! You kiss like my first feminina! She was a wooden log! A rotten one!
*heartbroken SHRIEEEEEEEEEEEK*
*opens the door* What's wrong?
We broke up. This relationships is DONE!
*acid pouring down from eye-tentacles, burning through the stone floor*
Okaaaay... *closes the door*
Appreciate the eyepatch. Think you can give me a hand with it? Hard to put it on wearing those shackles.
Sure. *mumbles to himself* Grab a piece of leather...
... and SMASH it down your face!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!
... Oops.
Lizzurd, what the hell did you do to my prisoner??
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!
Kek. Sorry. I will fix this!
Meanwhile.
What's with the screams?
Screams of agony. La Kolonia is suffering from too many working hours under the tyranny of Senor Kommissar.
Speaking of which, why are u not working?
Fiesta! Ay ay ay ay, ay mi amor *claps and dances*
*flailing her tentacles to the rhytm*
*looking at The Cook and Bliblablubb with disgust*
What the fuck happened to my KKK? When did it all go wrong?
A bit later.
See, good as new!
You monster.
It was an accident.
I ALMOST DIED! It's one thing to die in battle or be executed, but I ALMOST DIED WHILE PUTTING ON AN EYEPATCH!!
Could be worse. Next time you see Grimwulf, ask him about Spigot's death. Fascinating story.
Spigot... I know that name...
Later that evening.
*slightly flirting pop-pop*
No. Just... no.
*sad gurgle*
It's not about you. It's... Okay, it's about you.
*GURGLE*
Your are a VEGETABLE! Giant crawling vegetable that killed my salvaje friends!
*swinging her head-tentacles like she doesn't give a damn*
You will find another human whom you can love. It's time for us to part ways and carry on.
*murmurs ti himself* Almost romanced a vegetable. God, I am good. Now... where is that delicious raven Cheetah mentioned yesterday..?
One hour later.
WOOF
What? Think that's enough for today? Maybe. Maybe.
My back hurts like hell. Holy crap. *goes back to KKK*
KALIN, YOU BASTARD!!
Wat?
Where have you been?!
Haulin' stone chunks, you old fuck. Lizzurd can confirm.
Hrmpf.
I'm tired. Need my rest. Go fug yourself, Grim.
Yeah, you too.
Kalin's been acting weird lately. No whining about bonus sixty times a day, no bashing his fellow comrades, no nothing.
Probably fell in love.
With whom?
I don't know. Lizzurd?
Bromance.
Love is blooming in KKK.
It's only logical. Spring has begun.
We got no time for love, damn you! WE GOTTA BUILD KOMMUNISM!!
*enters the room* We have no use for love. Kommunism is about making use of things, is it not?
Tru.
*provocative smile* I know just a thing we could use right now, Grim.
Alcohol?
Sex. *takes Grimwulf's hand*
MAKE YOUR KEY CHOICE
If anybody wonders why the SUDDEN Tuesday update - I took a day off, not feelin' well. KKK is just about as good a cure as any, so there you go.
Hopefully we'll get most of the votes submitted until Friday.
Collective voting
Current agenda: building priorities
Grimwulf's crib, barracks, and half-arsed security done. What's next?
1. Guest Room. A place for visitors to stay and be impressed with kommunistic way of life. Makes it easier to recruit. Also, we can use it as second barracks once the main one becomes full.
2. Prison. It would be much easier to recruit prisoners if they live in a decent prison, with wash buckets, latrines and other goodies. They could also mine the mointain and dig a cavern quarry in the future.
3. Hydroponics room. I mean, why research hydroponics if we don't have a place for hydroponics basins? There is a suitable spot nearby, sporting a geyser for easier temperature management.
Personal Choices
Awright, you dirty kapitulist! Good news right away: we are using a doorlock mod. Which means that once you build a door to your bunker, you get to decide who gets the keys.
Lizzurd gets a set, coz you can't do the whole thing on your own, and he seems like a trustworthy guy. Anyone else?
Grimwulf made himself clear: NO MORE GOAT-ENSLAVING! He never mentioned muffalos, though.
We need food, but these beasts can be useful, and not that hard to tame. We just need to find berries or sumth, coz they don't eat meat.
What will it be?
1. Hunt them all. We need meat.
2. Tame a muffalo. It's good to have source of wool and milk. We can always slaughter it if the need arises. Also, muffalos are great pack aninals for dem long voyages.
You're not satisfied with our house for some reason.
But what can be done about it?
1. Lock the doors, restricting access to Grimwulf and Cheetah. It means we'll have to refuel generator and clean the house ourselves, but at least no one will eat in our dining room.
2. Pot plants. Roses sound nice and classy.
3. Dog bed for Slaughter. Put that blended leather to good use.
4. Something else?
You have come so far. Will you take a step further?
1. Agree to Kalin's bunker plan, set up a forbidden knowledge center in your room. The Grimoire is calling.
2. Agree to Kalin's bunker plan, but don't rush it with the Grimoire.
3. Fuck Kalin - tell everyone about this mutiny, and then ask for Grimwulf's opinion about setting up forbidden knowledge center.
4. Fuck Kalin - tell everyone about this mutiny, but don't rush it with the Grimoire.
You are unarmed. It's dangerous to walk around unarmed in KKK. Pick your posion from what we got:
Statistics
We survived through the Winter, congratulations. Let's drink.
H.P. Lovecraft decided to go soft on us this time. Now Randy Random takes over the Story.
Honouring KKK's good tradition, I'm posting our current stats & stuff.
Finally, some overview pics for you to draw projects and such.
I say research Electricity first (which was a prerequisite for Hydroponics anyway, so idk how you managed to research it without Electricity?) and only then build hydroponics. Otherwise we'll have to use MOAR wood which isn't that efficient, rite? In the meantime, build the prison!
Spring will come so probably you will still be able get food through hunting.
On the other hand we need more people for hijinks so let's just build the guest room first. The hydroponics room can follow after you actually get electricity running.
Yeah, one more thing about hydroponics room - it's full of rich soil. It can be used as a greenhouse even without hydroponics basins. All we need is that gaysor, power source, and a sun lamp (can build those right now).
We have Electricity tech. That's the reason behind the generator in Grim/Che house. We can even build wind turbines. But we don't have the Batteries and Solar Panels techs, so our electricity is currently at Benjamin Franklin level. We know it exists, but have no idea what to do with that knowledge.
One day I will compile a research scheme, just you wait.
How are you feeling, Grimwulf? Maybe you should stay at home tomorrow too and cook us yet another delicious update? Spiritual healing and all that. One's never too careful with one's health, you know.
: xaxaxaxaxaxaxa :
p.s. Build a prison, if it means more colonists. I'm last on teh Red list, goddamit
We have Electricity tech. That's the reason behind the generator in Grim/Che house. We can even build wind turbines. But we don't have the Batteries and Solar Panels techs, so our electricity is currently at Benjamin Franklin level. We know it exists, but have no idea what to do with that knowledge.
One day I will compile a research scheme, just you wait.
Hydroponics only work if you have a reliable power source. Even a single shutdown can destroy the crops. Therefore, a turbine won't do us no good without batteries.
Combining a turbine with fueled generator doesn't really make sense either. It won't affect fuel consumption.
Come to think of it, I can't come up with any rational use for a wind turbine without batteries.
I don't think so. We live in goddamn mountains, so Spring will be cold and snowy. At least we got warm clothes, so we won't freeze to death even if the fuel runs out.
3. Hydroponics room. KKKommunism is the very model of planned efficiency. No way we would research something without having a way to use it. Right?
Be careful cook. Hell hath no fury than a plantess scorned. You might as well pick the bodypart you want to regrow eventually. Don't worry, I am a dead eye sniper even with only 4 eyes.
Oh well, build a clean and nice prison then! Trick them into thinking that the Barracks will be even better than their nice and comfy prison. What a surprise the real Barracks will turn out.
It's just in my colonies I usually build 4 connected rooms - Barracks/Hospital, Prison, Cold Storage, Workshop and then gradually expand. I usually pick less extreme biomes though, with more trees, so it's easier than in KKK.