*psshhhhh* Hello? Hello! ALLO, YOPTA BLYAD!
Hrmghrghrmm, fucking tourists. *psshhhh* General Ironballs speaking. We're closed tonight, come back tomorrow. Over.
NO CAN DO, comrade! Requesting immidiate assistance!
Can't you turn this thing off, Grimwulf? I want one night, JUST ONE NIGHT of goddamn sleep!
A bunch of bad guys are chasing me as we speak! You help me, I help you!
We could use an extra pair of hands, to be honest.
Hmmppff. Fine. What's your name again?
Just call me Dreaad.
Cheeki breeki.
Night from 1st to 2nd of Winter, 5500
Awright, Dreaad. I'm Grimwulf, elected for lifetime rulership of this dump.
I didn't vote for you!
This ain't a democracy.
One day I'll make this colony a police state, I swear.
Where are you exactly?
Just run north until you see a battlefield. How many people are chasing you?
Four of them, damn stalkers from Ghostface party.
Manbears.
*huff puff* What?
Nevermind. Are they armed?
Yeah. Handguns, shotguns, rifles. I think I see the battlefield!
Good. If you don't have warm clothes on you, loot some corpses real quick.
What the hui am I looking at?
Don't ask.
*panting* Done! Where do I go from here?
Look for the opening in the mountain chain. Like, a crevice of sorts. We'll meet you there.
*yawns* Define "we".
Come on, boys. We have work to do. I don't pay you for sleeping.
You don't pay us at all!
Exactly.
Azira, you go to the battery room. Kalin, follow me.
So, you have a plan? A tactical approach, no less?
Of course. I am a goddamn SPACE MEHRINE, after all. Bottle Brother! Oh, look - a body armor!
MAN, I'm looking BADASS!
AAAAAAAAW, FUCK!
Azira! What happened?!
JESUS! FUCK!
We have a FAT FUCKING CORPSE in the battery room!
Waa?
Hehehe. IS IT STILL FRESH?
OH, FUCK YOU, KALIN!
Hehehehehe. Oh, hey. You must be the Dreaad guy.
Pure Slavborn, and proud of it.
I'm Grimwulf. The one-eyed pigtails scarecrow is Kalin. The black viking with disturbing smile is Azira. Err, better keep your distance from that one.
Yeah, yeah, let's get this over with. Dreaad, go grab something sharp from the storage and come back here.
One leg here, another one there! *runs*
Can't see shit from the battery room, Grim. I need to stand a bit closer.
What's the damn plan?!
They come closer, I ambush them with my trusty SMG. You and Dreaad charge right after that and try to cut two of them from the rest of the group. Azira provides sniper support. BUT NO ONE ACTS BEFORE I OPEN FIRE! IS IT CLEAR?!
Yes, let's do it.
Where is that sunuvabitch Dreaad? The pirates are almost here. I can hear them.
Ready?
Yeah, yeah... Grim. Where is your SMG?
Huh?
Where is my SMG?
Fuck. FUCK! FUCK YOU!!!
Wait, did you take it away after beating me?
OF COURSE I FUCKING DID! YOU WERE BERSERKING!
Why didn't you say so earlier?!
HOW COULD YOU NOT NOTICE that you don't have a fucking SMG on you?!
Guys, GUYS! Enemy spotted!
FALL BAAACK!!!
*huff huff* Can't believe you forgot about your weapon. WEAPON, GRIMWULF!
*panting* Shuddup, I got it under control. AZIRA! COVER OUR RETREA-- eer, MANEUVER!
HEY, whatever backward rednecks live in this shithole! We are only here for Dreaad! Let's play it cool and--
*bang*
UGH, you cocksuckers!
*catches breath*
That gotta hurt.
KILL THE BLACK GUY!!
*bang* I'm not black! It's just the light.
*bang*
Oh, shi *closes the door*
*psshhh* Where are you, men? The bad guys have snipers too. Can't hold them any longer. Also, they are coming for me. This door will crumble after one solid kick. Come in!
*pshhh* Have no fear, Grim is here!
Where is Dreaad? Hey, DREAAD!!!
Meanwhile.
Nice place you have here, friend. Want to join the party?
Uhh, no. I'll pass.
I'm Dreaad, by the way.
Hello friend.
Hello, friend! What's your name?
*sigh*
*psshhh* Dreaad! DREAAD! Goddamit.
*bang*
AAAGH! DREAAD! YOU PROMISED MEEEE!!!
Kalin, you take the woman in white! And I'll show that maori dude in helmet why they call me Mr. Holemaker.
Oh, yeah! It's POLICE BRUTALITY time!
*Screams like Reb Brown*
*bang* GOT HER!
TAKE THA-- arrgh, ffuuck
Hrrrhgghghg, you shot me again... grim... wulghgh
*coughs blood* Blitz, Lilith! Take him prisoner! Ransom me and Dreaad!
NOW GO! RUUUU-- *coughs*
Put me down, you ffffuck.
HOLD YOUR FIRE, GRIM! YOU WILL KILL KALIN! I got this.
*aims* Come on, Azira. Deep breath.
*bang*
Hrhrhrh, stop sho-- shooting, you
*coughs* fucktards.
AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
*charges ahead, shooting everything*
CHEEKI BREEKI MOTHERFUCKEEERS!!
You took your sweet time, Dreead.
D-Dreaad! My love!
Squad dismissed! Good work, everyone! Welcome to the Kolony, Dreaad.
H-help... meeee....