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In Progress Jewniggers from Southern Place - A Semien CK2-TPATT/MM LP

Kattze

Andhaira
Andhaira
Joined
Jan 10, 2011
Messages
4,722
Location
Babang Ilalim
Coming storm: 1071-1076

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To survive the coming deluge of Abyssinian machete brigades, we have to seek aid from the rest of the Jewish diaspora. Perhaps the most talented Hebrews can be persuaded to make the Aliyah to the Jewish state…


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Kobyak oop Kamyzyak, a Khazar Jewbab, was serving as marshal under the idol-worshipping count of Uzens. We offered him the same position in Semien, an allowance of 50 gold and the added benefit of serving with his people and bringing glory to the Adonai.


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He accepted and was promptly made marshal.


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Mufaddal Aboutbul, a Yemenite Jewrab, was serving as steward for the Rassid Ishmaelites. We offered him the same inducements as Kobyak.


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He also accepted and was made steward of the realm.


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The royal authority was further strengthened.


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In a fortunate turn of events, the land of slavery was beset by internal strife and it would be long before they turned their attention to the south.


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My wife and my second daughter, Mulualem, had died from childbirth complications. The foremost rabbis from the realm had suggested that a demon named TRSH might be the cause of the royal misfortune in begetting a child.

I didn’t marry for now since the line of Zadok is secure as long as my son, Iskander is still alive (may YHWH preserve him).
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It seems my newly-appointed marshal tried to embezzle from the royal funds. He was reminded that jewgoldz must be taken from goyim and not from fellow Jews.

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The spymaster, Elder Caleb, was given Asosa as a fief to secure his loyalty. He was also encouraged to convert the majority idolators into the true faith.

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We need more jewgoldz, cough it up!


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Peasant resettlement program in Matamma was a success!


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My Hasbara operatives within the palace were successful. They managed to convince the nobles that I am as wise as Solomon.


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A grand hunt was organised…


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I have no choice but to offer my horse as a burnt sacrifice to the Adonai.


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Haven’t had much success the deer, but I prefer hunting chickens and growing watermelons anyway.


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Several fortresses were fortified in preparation for war against the Babylonian tammuzites.


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My steward, Mufaddal, due to his mastery of the ancient Hebrew knowledge of penny-pinching managed to provoke peasants to the straining point. It doesn’t matter though for the jewgoldz must flow.


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Abyssinian carpenterite scum looks very formidable but…


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It seems that its king is growing old and…


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His heir is of a much weaker calibre. May YHWH struck them down for the worship of their nailed ‘messiah’.


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Another potential good Aliyah immigrant was identified. Tsion Qafsa, a Hebrew came from what the misguided Ishmaelites call the ‘Ifriqiyah’, the former abode of the detestable worshippers of Molech before it was overthrown by the equally detestable Babylon.


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Of course, he accepted and made the Aliyah.


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Fortresses were continually being fortified with more than adequate stocks of machetes, chicken and watermelon supplies. Secret stashes of jewgoldz were also buried within these fortresses.


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The people of Harer have further improve the quality of machetes that it can slice babies into meat.


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Despite detesting the perverted and misguided practices of the Ishmaelite Rassids, we have no choice but to cooperate against the greater carpenterite menace to the north. Just as the ancient Israelites under Joshua had cooperated withGibeonites in taking the promised land, we must do the same with the Rassids.


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My son Iskander is betrothed to the Emir’s sister to seal this cooperation of convenience. May YHWH protect Iskander from straying from the path of righteousness under the influence of his future wife.


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A summer fair was called in the capital to celebrate the betrothal.


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The plebs have temerity to be rowdy in the presence of noble blood so they were excluded for the time being.


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The carpenterite king of Abyssinia and his army of tammuzite goyim had come to extinguish the flame of Jewdah (in Gondar) and carry us all to Babylon. To arms, sons of Israel and may we vanquish these ungodly scum under the banner of the most High.
:mhd:
 

Trash

Pointing and laughing.
Joined
Dec 12, 2002
Messages
29,683
Location
About 8 meters beneath sea level.
Yikes, that's going to hurt. Well, with all that money some mercenaries might make things a bit more balanced. You could also try and assassinate their king. If TPATT allows you so it usually stops them right in their tracks. Remember though, failing is fun. :D
 

Kattze

Andhaira
Andhaira
Joined
Jan 10, 2011
Messages
4,722
Location
Babang Ilalim
Fucking mercs (Nubian band and Abyssinian band) were too expensive, each costing around 400+ gold with an upkeep of around 22 gold per month. I have around 200 gold and my monthly income is around 2 gold. So yeah, no mercs for me unless I banish every dude with gold within my realm. The problem is that my current ruler and his son, Iskander were the only living members of my dynasty and alienating my courtiers would result in everyone plotting to have me (Dawit) killed, with Iskander succeeding which might as well be GG.

The only real option is to stand and fight defending Gondor and hope that my 18-martial marshal + defensive bonuses from mountain terrain (almost all of my counties) would offset the numerical superiority of around 400-600 troops by the Abyssinians. In TPATT, battles are much more decisive and had much higher effect on warscore. So depending on where the battle goes, I would have either surrendered Gondar after the battle or WP/win against Abyssinia.
 

Kattze

Andhaira
Andhaira
Joined
Jan 10, 2011
Messages
4,722
Location
Babang Ilalim
Trumpets of War: 1066-1082
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The army of YHWH was ordered to assemble in Gondar, under the overall command of Kobyak, our well experienced Jewbab marshal. The Abyssinian pole-worshippers invaded to make Gondar their own; we would grant them their wish, Gondar would be their graveyard.


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The summer fair was abruptly ended due to the Abyssinian invasion.


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It seems the love of jewgold YHWH had converted these past idolators to the right path.


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While reading some old tomes, I came upon the Confessions of Augustine, a prominent carpenterite ‘bishop’. I learn more about the internal turmoil afflicting the heart of every misguided tammuzite.


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Learning about the extent of their deviancy and their moral bankruptcy had given me more insights into what YHWH had for us.


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The hour of reckoning has come. Abyssinian deviator goyim, mindful of their numerical superiority, resolved to make a direct frontal assault on Gondar. Marshal Kobyak, with his martial experience in defending Itil, the former capital of Khazars was directing the centre and the overall command of the machete divisions. The army had fortified the mountains leading to the capital.


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Ashira LAdonai! (Sorry bros, I tried to google 'black guy singing hatikvah', 'black guy singing israeli anthem' and 'black hatikvah rap' but I can't find anything :()

Praise be to the Holy of Holies. We have won a crushing victory; the cross-worshiping goyim were either cut with machetes like chaff from the wheat or are fleeing as fast as their sneakers sandals can carry them up north. Many of our soldiers reported seeing a mysterious figure in white cutting down hundreds of Abyssinian soldiers…
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Prominent rabbis from the realm had even suggested that it might even be HaShem himself, who came down personally from the heavens to smite the abhorrent heathens.




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The pitiful remnants of the Abyssinian army were pursued by the righteous army to their capital in Adwa.


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Abebe, the leader of the Abyssinian invasion force was slain while fleeing like the fleet-footed coward that he is. May YHWH condemn him to hell.


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It seems the faithless King of Abyssinia is ready to sue for peace.


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We are ready to wreak vengeance on the Abyssinian negroes but a prophet of the Lord named Kattzeyel, prophesied that our forces would be given victory against the Somali pirates to the east (P.S. They only had 300 troops). Thus, by the will of YHWH, we made peace with the Abyssinian intruders.


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Adonai is making Abyssinia fall on its own machetes. It seems that the devastating defeat we inflicted on them has so shaken their king’s authority that nobles were openly defying the king and insisting on greater privileges for aristocracy.


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We are currently for our levies to be regrouped. In the best of times, we can muster around 1800 well-trained machete fighters but due to the recent Abyssinian invasion, we can only muster 1200 men.


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The Somalis ruled by the Khumalo only had 2 provinces under their control. May YHWH bless us with their land.


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Meanwhile, troubadours from the deviant land of Occitania came to my court. They were allowed to provide entertainment as long as they do not impugn the name the royal line of Zadok.


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I declared war on the hapless Ali of Khumalo emirate. May they fall beneath the might of YHWH and the steadiness of the Hebrew troops.


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Despite the levies not yet being replenished, the valiant Semienites were called up to combine at the central province of Antalo. Out of 2000 men, only around 1500 were available for immediate service. It wouldn’t really matter, for the puny 300 men Khumalo army couldn’t resist us whether we had 1500 or 2000 soldiers at beck and call.


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It seems we miscalculated. The Khumalo emir was able to call up to around 1900 soldiers. Reports from Mossad agents show that the regular Khumalo army was reinforced by 1500 so-called 'mujahideen' from other Ishmaelite kingdoms.


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Meanwhile my overzealous rabbi was accusing one of my vassals of religious deviancy. The accused didn’t seem to show much deviation from Hebrew ways as he continues to stock gold and vehemently hate the goyim. Therefore, he was acquitted of all accusations.


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The Rassid goyim were fooled into thinking we were going to eventually convert to their ‘Shia’ brand of Ishmaelite deviation. Relations have improved as a result.


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The Khumalo army had pre-emptively attacked the province of Harer and was sieging the vital fortress of Zeila.


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The defenders of Zeila managed to secure a victory in a skirmish with the besieging forces. May YHWH praise their efforts.


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The typical Hebrew cunning was displayed as food was smuggled into Zeila right under the nose of the besiegers.


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I will be directly educate my son, Iskander, to make sure that he neither turned to the right nor to the left but to the ways of Adonai alone.


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Prince Iskander is showing some aptitude in using machetes.


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The army of 1500 men assembled at Antalo was dismissed. Greater efforts were made to recruit more soldiers to counter the Khumalo menace.


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The chief rabbi of the court has died from natural causes after long years of service to the most High.


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The last Khagan of Khazars, the most magnificent Jewbab of the age, Isaac Doganin had succumbed to the wounds suffered in the Abyssinian invasion. He bequeaths his jewgold hoard of a 100 gold to the kingdom. Goodnight sweet prince.


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The fortress of Zeila was finally captured by the Khumalo machete brigades. Widespread scenes of looting and use of babies as meat was reported. They will pay for such transgressions. Fortunately, the ‘mujahideen’ refused to attack the city of Harer, despite the emir’s insistence, because the mayor of the city was an Ishmaelite.


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Iskander is growing up as a fine lad. YHWH is imparting some of his benevolence into him.


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Iskander is getting better and better at wielding machetes.


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Due to the stress of the war, I became sick but…


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Because of YHWH’s mercy I speedily recovered.


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The mobilisation is finished. It’s time to assemble our much enlarged army and face the detestable Khumalos in the field of battle.


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The army was ordered again to group at the central province of Antalo.


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Due to my dedicated outreach to the Jewish diaspora, thousands of Aliyah immigrants were setting up shop in the city of Hargeysa and bringing much needed expertise in bringing jewgold.


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Iskander is learning a sense of justice by studying the 10 commandments set by the most High.


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The devastation caused by the Khumalo army in Harer has caused millions of peasants to abandon their farms and take refuge in the cities.


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In another misfortune, Antalo was experiencing heavy rains which threatened to wash away the valuable watermelon plantations.


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The Semienite army commanded by Kobyak (the hero of Gondar), Joram and Zalewlew was ordered to engaged the Khumalo trespassers and remove them from the premises.


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Jakob Krakow, a Jewden (or Ashkenazi as they call themselves) had taken refuge in our court. He said that he was persecuted by what he call ‘Polacks’, a people living somewhere up north. A talented individual, he could have some use in the court though his abhorrent form of Hebrew known as Yiddish is causing some offence in the capital.


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The valiant Semienite army has engaged the Ishmaelite Somalis at Zeila…


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The Khumalo emir, Ali, was slaughtered like the detestable pig he was. Seeing the ignominious end of their leader…


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The Ishmaelites were completely routed and either cut down by machetes or fled in disarray back to their homeland. Adonai has granted us another glorious victory.


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Not wanting to let this opportunity go to waste, Marshal Kobyak set off in pursuit of the cowardly Khumalo army.


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The Yid from the land of Polacks was agitating for chancellorship but his ambitions were temporarily frustrated.


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Kobyak has managed to put to flight the Khumalo army yet again.


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The siege of Berbera by our forces has began. Meanwhile, the new Khumalo child emir, in his desperation to escape the point of our swords had asked help from some insignificant Ishmaelite oasis-dweller in Arabia. YHWH laughs at such pitiful efforts.


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It seems that war-time rationing had the beneficial effect of making Iskander more temperate in his choice of food.


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Are you kidding me, boy goy? Nobody can stop the Jews.


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The siege of Berbera was successful. Divine retribution was inflicted by our army in revenge for the sacking of Zeila. We plundered lots of jewgolds from the helpless goyim!


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The commander of the fortress, Ismacil, was captured and thrown into the dungeons.


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Seeing the hopelessness of his cause, the boy emir agreed to cede Berbera in exchange for peace with the Jews and Elohim.


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Jacob Krakow, the newly arrived Yid, was given Berbera to managed because of his immense talents.


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The Jewish kingdom of Semien was much strengthened, with the aid of YHWH and his angels. We hope that the Holy of Holies gives us strength for a next confrontation with the wicked Babylonians to the north of us.

Onwards to Yerushalayim, soldiers of Jewdah and rebuild the Third Temple!
 

Whitewolf

Novice
Joined
Jul 11, 2012
Messages
49
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This is the original jewnigger (Lenny Kravitz).

P.S. Nice LP i'll be following it
 

Infinitron

I post news
Staff Member
Joined
Jan 28, 2011
Messages
97,540
Codex Year of the Donut Serpent in the Staglands Dead State Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2 Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2 A Beautifully Desolate Campaign Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire Pathfinder: Kingmaker Pathfinder: Wrath I'm very into cock and ball torture I helped put crap in Monomyth
Very entertaining. Beta Israel didn't have rabbis though. They had a priesthood.
 
Self-Ejected

Ulminati

Kamelåså!
Patron
Joined
Jun 18, 2010
Messages
20,317
Location
DiNMRK
You give him asylum and a county of his own and he immediately sets up an independence faction. This shows you why potato are not to be trusted. :decline:

 

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