More bits.
You need a DC check of 15 to know what a bear is. As commoners cannot make this check, nobody but adventurers know what bears are. Furthermore, you need a DC check of twenty to find out bears attack with their arms.
To emphasize this, the DC 20 for Manticores: "DC 20: Manticores have three rows of teeth, which constantly grow throughout their lives. They often leave old teeth and iron spikes in the bodies of their mauled victims as sure signs of manticore attack. Although dimwitted, manticores understand Common and can speak a few Common words and phrases. They are exceedingly impatient and tend to attack those who attempt to parley with them."
Oh, and about bears? Templates can be applied to any monster, ever, and they stack. You can make an intelligent dire bear death knight. Work is being done to make one into a lich.
And those death knights? They require an evil soul blade to suck out their soul. I don't want to compare it to WoW. Stop making me.
Side note: All classes work the exact same mechanically. A wizard plays the exact same as a ranger plays the exact same as a warrior. Also, all classes have some pretty big MAD.
Now for more class info:
CLERIC:
Needs Strength, Wisdom, and Charisma.
As stated earlier, your choice of deity makes no difference on your powers.
"A cleric can choose to worship any deity, but steer clear of choosing an evil or chaotic evil deity unless you have permission from your DM to choose one"
Both of these are caused by clerics not getting their powers from their god (Yet they still need one...why?)
The *vast* majority of your heals can only be done by attacking.
As 99% of all attacks are either SHOOTING LASERS or channeling shiny radiant energy, I
recommend you throw glitter around every time the cleric moves.
The "Angelic Avenger" paragon seriously looks like a fucking protoss. This isn't even me drawing random conclusions - I saw it and immidiately thought "HOLY FUCK IT'S A PROTOSS." Dead fucking serious, it'll be the first thing that comes to mind when you see it.
Final thoughts: Power wise, clerics don't really bug me much (though the lack of heals that AREN'T offensive is a bit irritating), but fluff wise, this is abysmal.
FIGHTER:
Needs Strength, Wisdom, Constitution, and (maybe)Dexterity.
They seriously have a power called "Get Over Here" that forces the target to slide towards them.
Greatswords no longer exist. As you now get feats every other level, there's no reason not to just use a bastard sword which has the same stats, and if you're going two handed or bust, great axe has a huge advantage.
On that note, I'll go onto weapons here: Wizards has really, REALLY fucked up here. Because a simple +1 bonus is a huge deal now, the weapon you choose has a BIG effect, but to the point where 90% of weapons are absolute shit and useless compared to the other 10%.
Some fighter abilities have a "second bonus" if you're using a certain weapon. However, these bonuses are dependent on a specific stat for each weapon. As things like spears use dexterity, and fighters are ALREADY strapped on MAD, chances are, you won't see any of those. Not a bad idea in concept, but executed badly. And again, some of these abilities are grossly stacked in the favor of some weapons - and most these weapons are in that top 10% to begin with.
Kensei? Fuck that weeaboo bullshit. And did we really need a seperate paragon class for "Swordmaster?"
Can "mark" an enemy, giving it -2 to attack and other bullshit if it targets anyone but the fighter. No saving throw.
Fighters don't start with the ability to use plate. They need to spend a feat on it. WHAT.
End thoughts: Despite the complaints, not THAT bad. Wizards was ambitious, but in many ways, this class is the very personification of the "MMORPG" complaint.
PALADINS:
Uses cleric stats.
Paladins can give their party telepathy. I'm not making this shit up.
They can also teleport.
Not only does their deity of choice make no difference, neither does their alignment.
Paladins cannot fall, nor are their powers given by their god.
Same "marking" bullshit as fighter. Same lack of saving throw. Oh hey, the paladin one also does damage.
Starts with a plate. Only class to do so. WHAT.
Oh, they can teleport party members, too.
Ok, I'll just say this now and only now: These move names are beyond fucking retarded.
End thoughts: Not that bad, but seriously, can't fall and the choice of alignment/deity doesn't matter? Weak. Also, what the hell is with this teleporting/telepathy shit?
Ranger
Uses Strength, Dex, Wisdom. Jesus, are WARRIORS the most MAD?
Rangers have two modes: Sniper and Faggot
The Sniper stands in the back and shoots things
The Faggot uses two weapons and dances around the enemies.
Yes, dances.
They can also give allies bonuses equal to wisdom. Because of how wise and knowing rangers naturally are.
OH GOD MY EYES ARE BLEEDING.
Rangers do, bar none, the most damage.
I am now drinking.
"Like the gazelle, you startle allies and enemies alike with your sudden swiftness." Who WROTE this?
Jesus fuck "Cruel Cage of Steel" takes up like half the fucking column.
EVERYONE WILL BE A RANGER. EVERYONE.
Christ, the Pathfinder paragon path. You heal yourself EVERY TIME you attack an enemy.
So, in closure, the ranger does the most damage of all classes, has abnormally high AC, dances around the battlefield, can heal themselves with every attack, and they're classified as the wisest, most knowing and understanding class in the game.
"When you catch sight of your quarry, will the transgressor perish by swift bow shots from a distance, or by the twofold blades that glint and glitter in each of your battle-scarred hands?"
It actually says that at the beginning.
WHY DID I NOT HEED THE WARNING?
End thoughts: I just projectile vomited.
ROGUE:
I love the rogue because it isn't a fucking ranger.
Uses Dex, Strength, Charisma.
I'm laying off the booze now. Honest.
Gains a bonus when using dagger and shurikan.
TOTALLY NOT A NINJA
Sneak attack is pretty weak.
Fucking thank you, these moves look more like they should then the ranger "YOU DANCE AROUND WITH THE DELICACY OF A SNOWFLAKE AND STRIKE LIKE A BUTTERFLY"
Wait, what? They have an ability to steal once an encounter?
Are you shitting me?
Lots of attacks set the enemy up for other partners to attack it better, which I actually like.
Having each and every fucking class get it's own ten pages dedicated to explaining their unique ORIGINAL CHARACTER combat abilities is getting really fucking tiresome.
All the abilities require a light blade, which seem odd. I wasn't aware that I needed a dagger or short sword to throw sand in someone's eyes.
These names are still recockulously retarded
End thoughts: I actually like the rogue stuff I see. Even the paragon classes looked fairly decent, and their abilities fit really well.
WARLOCK:
Uses Charisma, Constitution, and Intelligence.
"The darkness holds no terror for me, demon! I curse you now under the Sign of Ill Omen!"
It seriously says that. That's honestly how this class starts.
I'm getting the booze out.
Ok, admittingly, the pact thing is kinda cool. You choose what pact you signed to gain your powers - in this book, it's got Fey pack, Infernal Pact, and Star Pact (Star Pact is Cthulhu).
On one hand, it's lame that they have the same number of abilities as the other classes, only obviously only some can be used by different pacts, thus limiting their choices sharply
On the other hand, less for me to read.
End thoughts: Really not much to say here. The new warlock is pretty much an upgrade in every way.
WARLORD
Uses Strength, Intelligence, Charisma
Cleric without lasers and glitter, really. Aside from the lack of "your nameless and really unimportant god..." in the fluff, it's the same class.
One thing bugs me: Many of these abilities really don't strike me as something only one class should be able to do. For example, Inspiring War Cry. Why is everyone else apparently mute?
Oh god he heals people by talking charismatically to them. "What a guy!"
End thoughts: Really, the Warlord, which I didn't have much negative to say, is easily the biggest argument AGAINST 4e. Quite frankly, this class shouldn't exist, and these abilities should be feats or otherwise somehow freely chosen by other classes. The idea of each class having their own unique abilities falls apart when these abilities are things like "Yell Loudly."
WIZARD:
Uses Intelligence, Wisdom, and Dexterity
I'm not covering rituals, as ANYONE can do those
The wizard seriously just falls apart. This is shit. This is beyond shit.
To show why this is so horrifying, you first need to understand that all classes work the same way. ALL classes know the same number of at-will, encounter, daily, and utility powers. At your highest, at level 30, you have 2/4/4/7. That means a wizard will, at EPIC level, have 17 spells they can cast. Furthermore, you can't memorize the same spell twice. If one of your spells is per-encounter, you can only use it once per encounter. Period. You can't just use a second slot for the same spell. In the end, that means you will never use lower level spells once you get higher ones. This pretty much destroys the wizard.
Wizards attack and only attack. Seriously, that's all they do - blow shit up. EVERYTHING does damage. FORCE CAGE does damage. MAZE does damage. Motherfucking MAZE does damage.
Invisibility, Fly, and other spells have been horrifyingly butchered. Far beyond the point they needed.
I'm not even going to finish this class.
End thoughts: Don't play a wizard. There's pretty much no point. There's nothing left of this class. The worst thing is, the actual in game mechanics PUNISH wide spread damage over single target damage. I understand they wanted to reduce the "YOU MUST HAVE A WIZARD IN YOUR TEAM" problem in 3.5, but they did it by making the class worthless. This is the shittiest thing I've seen yet. I could at least finish the ranger section.
Small note on EPIC DESTINIIIIIEEEEES:
Archmage: He sits in a tower all his life and studies the "demispell," which, despite the usage of "demi," is somehow MORE powerful then everything else. WELCOME TO LEVEL THIRTY, YOU NEVER SEE ANYONE ELSE AGAIN.
Deadly Trickster: You're pretty much champion douche. You betray your companions and laugh as the BBEG wins after all, and you do it because it amuses you. This is my favorite epic destiny. Oh, and you can decide not to betray everyone, but fuck that.
Demigod: Welcome to the corporate world of the gods! You become the cubical boy for whatever god wants you. Or maybe you strike off on your own and immidiately fail as every other god decides they don't want more competition and bitch slap you. Whoever in Wizards wrote this might've been a bit bitter about life.
Eternal Seeker: We called these guys in previous editions "Adventurers who are level 30." Seriously, an Eternal Seeker is pretty much "You decide fuck epic destinies and just keep adventuring. You can also gain the powers of any class. You enjoy a cool beer and laugh as the demigod walks by with some folders that need to be photocopied."