whitemithrandir
Erudite
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2004
- Messages
- 1,116
The more and more I play guild wars, the more and more I realize how every single character in the plot is a jerk. Yes, you heard me, EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.
WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!!!
Let's start, shall we?
1. Gwen. Boo hoo, she lost her flute, so she wants you to get it, and you do. What's your reward? Having an annoying little whining infant follow you around.
2. Prince Rurik: God what a major bumhole. First of all, he's annoying, constantly shouting stuff like "FOR RIN!!!" or something while he fights with you. Then, he thinks he's the great prince and everything, and thinks he's always right. That's arrogance for you. THEN, when he argues with the King about where to lead the people, he doesn't even BOTHER explaining to his dad why he thinks the way he thinks. Instead, he pretty much tells to his dad's face "You're stupid. I'm right." Speaking of which...
3. King Adelburn: YOU BANNED YOUR SON FROM YOUR OWN COUNTRY YOU JERK! No really, that's some serious dickery right there. Alright, so your country is in ruins, your cities are on FIRE, there's freaking scorpions everywhere, and you split up your leadership over a few words? WTF?!! Plus, it's YOUR OWN SON! How did this guy become king? He's a total jerk!
4. The player: Yes, YOU. The character you play. That's right, your Drizzt D'orden or whatever you named him, is a jerk also. So the Prince, whom you've been fighting with FOR A LONG TIME is crushed under a limb. That's right. A LIMB. It's not even a big tree, just a small branch or something, (or it could be a rock, I forget, but it was something really small) and there are FOUR OF YOU standing right there, one of which is a BIG TOUGH MUSCULAR warrior and the rest possess powerful magic. Do you go help him? No. You just leave and let him die. WTF?
5. The White Mantle: Yeah, these guys are obviously jerks, since it turns out they actually kill people and laugh about it. Too bad, though.
6. Glint: Fast forward past all the stupid white mantle stuff, since they're all jerks, we see Glint: the dragon seer. First, why the hell did she make me fight through 6 hostile environments full of things trying to kill us? WE'RE CHOSEN, AND SHE KNOWS IT!!! Alright, so it's obviously a test, but come on, we wouldn't be there if WE DIDN'T ASCEND! So it's clear the whole thing is just a plot to make us feel miserable while she laughs and watches. Ha-ha funny... NOT. Jerk.
7. The Seer: Infuse your armor? Okay, kindly kill that big thing over there and bring me his essense. You know, this guy is obviously a Jerk. Firstly, he's sharing the SAME CAVE with those things that tried to kill you not a minute ago. Secondly, he's suppose to be this being of GREAT POWER (oooh) and yet he doesn't even help you kill the big thing next door. He just stands there and watches, amused. What a jerk.
8. Evennia: She is the biggest jerk of all. Firstly, she's stupid enough to get captured. Secondly, when you rescue her, Saidra offers to sacrifice herself and you don't hear a single "NO DONT DO IT!" out of Evennia. In fact, it looks like she's got a bemused grin on her face. Afterwards, long after Saidra is DEAD, she howls to the gods about the loss of Saidra and makes all sorts of grand speeches. YOU KNOW WHY SHE DIED? SHE DIED BECAUSE YOU WERE A HEARTLESS JERK, jerk.
9. Saidra: She's not so much a jerk as stupid. "OOOH, I'll sacrifice my life to buy you guys a precious TWO SECONDS even though you can outrun them easily and my sacrifice is totally pointless, but I'm so full of myself that I'm going to do it anyway, even though it's probably more beneficial to the people if I lived." Plus, if she didn't spend such a long time TALKING about her heroism, all of us would have enough time to escape AND have a cup of tea afterwards. Stupid. Jerk.
10. The Henchmen: They're the biggest jerks of all. The henchies are all jerks, especially Stefan. They don't care if they die, so they find every oppertunity they can to destroy your chances of completing the mission, such as running and aggroing 5 mobs at once. Alesia spends more time whacking the enemy than healing the guy that's about to die.
Those are the major jerks in the storyline. There are many many lesser jerks. In fact, there's not a SINGLE character in Guild Wars that does not share a quality of jerk-ness. Yes, even those without spoken dialogue are jerks.
I like the game very much, but man, the plot has some stupid characters.
WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!!!
Let's start, shall we?
1. Gwen. Boo hoo, she lost her flute, so she wants you to get it, and you do. What's your reward? Having an annoying little whining infant follow you around.
2. Prince Rurik: God what a major bumhole. First of all, he's annoying, constantly shouting stuff like "FOR RIN!!!" or something while he fights with you. Then, he thinks he's the great prince and everything, and thinks he's always right. That's arrogance for you. THEN, when he argues with the King about where to lead the people, he doesn't even BOTHER explaining to his dad why he thinks the way he thinks. Instead, he pretty much tells to his dad's face "You're stupid. I'm right." Speaking of which...
3. King Adelburn: YOU BANNED YOUR SON FROM YOUR OWN COUNTRY YOU JERK! No really, that's some serious dickery right there. Alright, so your country is in ruins, your cities are on FIRE, there's freaking scorpions everywhere, and you split up your leadership over a few words? WTF?!! Plus, it's YOUR OWN SON! How did this guy become king? He's a total jerk!
4. The player: Yes, YOU. The character you play. That's right, your Drizzt D'orden or whatever you named him, is a jerk also. So the Prince, whom you've been fighting with FOR A LONG TIME is crushed under a limb. That's right. A LIMB. It's not even a big tree, just a small branch or something, (or it could be a rock, I forget, but it was something really small) and there are FOUR OF YOU standing right there, one of which is a BIG TOUGH MUSCULAR warrior and the rest possess powerful magic. Do you go help him? No. You just leave and let him die. WTF?
5. The White Mantle: Yeah, these guys are obviously jerks, since it turns out they actually kill people and laugh about it. Too bad, though.
6. Glint: Fast forward past all the stupid white mantle stuff, since they're all jerks, we see Glint: the dragon seer. First, why the hell did she make me fight through 6 hostile environments full of things trying to kill us? WE'RE CHOSEN, AND SHE KNOWS IT!!! Alright, so it's obviously a test, but come on, we wouldn't be there if WE DIDN'T ASCEND! So it's clear the whole thing is just a plot to make us feel miserable while she laughs and watches. Ha-ha funny... NOT. Jerk.
7. The Seer: Infuse your armor? Okay, kindly kill that big thing over there and bring me his essense. You know, this guy is obviously a Jerk. Firstly, he's sharing the SAME CAVE with those things that tried to kill you not a minute ago. Secondly, he's suppose to be this being of GREAT POWER (oooh) and yet he doesn't even help you kill the big thing next door. He just stands there and watches, amused. What a jerk.
8. Evennia: She is the biggest jerk of all. Firstly, she's stupid enough to get captured. Secondly, when you rescue her, Saidra offers to sacrifice herself and you don't hear a single "NO DONT DO IT!" out of Evennia. In fact, it looks like she's got a bemused grin on her face. Afterwards, long after Saidra is DEAD, she howls to the gods about the loss of Saidra and makes all sorts of grand speeches. YOU KNOW WHY SHE DIED? SHE DIED BECAUSE YOU WERE A HEARTLESS JERK, jerk.
9. Saidra: She's not so much a jerk as stupid. "OOOH, I'll sacrifice my life to buy you guys a precious TWO SECONDS even though you can outrun them easily and my sacrifice is totally pointless, but I'm so full of myself that I'm going to do it anyway, even though it's probably more beneficial to the people if I lived." Plus, if she didn't spend such a long time TALKING about her heroism, all of us would have enough time to escape AND have a cup of tea afterwards. Stupid. Jerk.
10. The Henchmen: They're the biggest jerks of all. The henchies are all jerks, especially Stefan. They don't care if they die, so they find every oppertunity they can to destroy your chances of completing the mission, such as running and aggroing 5 mobs at once. Alesia spends more time whacking the enemy than healing the guy that's about to die.
Those are the major jerks in the storyline. There are many many lesser jerks. In fact, there's not a SINGLE character in Guild Wars that does not share a quality of jerk-ness. Yes, even those without spoken dialogue are jerks.
I like the game very much, but man, the plot has some stupid characters.
