II
And so my reign of terror begins! Will any Icelandic bro tell me how many hookers I can hire and how cocaine I can snort on 32k Kronur a week?
We've joined halfway through the season so will not have the luxury of time to catch up to speed with my players. We will need to be 100%, 100% of the time, because our first game is tomorrow!
I handle the first press conference with panache and balls. The journalists kept asking loaded questions, but my practice handling snakes comes in handy.
My first task is to sort out my players and to that end, I temporarily promote our entire youth team. If you're good enough, you're old enough. We're currently in the red in terms of wage budget and have no transfer kitty to speak of, so we're going to have to make do with what we have until my scouts can locate some decent talent.
Next up is choosing club captain and vice-captain. Valur Fannar Gislascn is recommended as captain and Orri Gunnarsson as vice-captain.
But I immediately spot problems. Gislason is nervous as hell in big games and Gunnarsson lacks the drive I want from my leading man.
Trggvi Sveinn Bjarnason, veteran centre back, is my choice as captain. He has the aggression and bravery I'm looking for to force my players to give that extra 10% at all times. Gislason makes vice-captain. My choice of captain goes down very well with the team, all except those two I passed over being pleased with my choice.
With my chronological privilege checked, I'm going to have to settle on just a single formation this season and drill my players hard in how to operate in it. A lack of wing backs means I'll be playing 4 at the back, with 2 sitting midfielders to give our play some backbone. None of my strikers stand out as particularly quick or good in the air, so I'm going to fill out my forward line with a playmaker, two wingers and a single striker.
We don't have a choice at GK. Sigurour Hrannar Bjornsson is on loan from Vikingur Reykjavik for another 16 months and needs to stay fit, as our only other keeper is dire.
At RB we are spoilt for choice! Unfortunately all of those choices are quite meh. Kristmundsson is my pick if we need to come forward, with Prastarson being the defensive kingpin and Guomundsson being a balanced option.
My predecessor has been playing Frioriksson exclusively as LB. I don't know what kind of drugs he was on, but I see Hilmarsson as being a much better option. Einarsson is a prospect for the future.
A lot of our central defenders can play in other positions. Our best CB is Bjarnason by a mile - he has the entire package while everyone else has flaws. It may take some time to determine our 2nd CB, but Magnusson, Prastarson and Gislason could all make that position their own.
CM is another position where we're overloaded with options. A lot of our defenders can play in this position. My current tactic will require two defensively robust midfielders, which is shown in my choices.
On the wings I need outlets, with the ability to come inside and score goals. Aoalgeirsson pips Benediktsson in that aspect, but you shouldn't be surprised to see Kristmundsson playing if I want to be more defensive.
Sigurosson is our best left winger and one of the top players in our team. I expect a lot from him.
Jonsson, Porlaksson and Gunnarsson are all going to compete for my #10 role. There isn't much between them
Birgisson is our top goalscorer and most well rounded striker. I have questions about his teamplay and we have many other options.
I can't currently do much with our backroom personnel, so I'll go into depth on them towards the end of the season, where I'll likely be ringing changes.
Our opposition for the next game, the quarter final of the Icelandic Cup, shit talk us to the media. I don't care that they're challenging for the title of the Premier Division. Chat shit: get banged
Match day! The other team is superior to us and I have not looked at their players. This game is all about us and how we perform as a team. Compare this starting 11 to how we're going to line up.
With so little time to train, I keep things simple. The only thing I demand is that we fight for every ball and don't give them an inch of room!
ITZ HERE!
Come on the lads!