Age of Decadence Writing

[Ion Flux]

"It's a known fact" also doesn't jive.

This is driving me nuts. The word is jibe, not jive. "Jive" is what honkeys in 70's Blacksploitation films speak.

And it absolultey does, "jibe". There are many known and unknown facts (such as the difference between two words that sound similar, but mean different things). It's perfectly appropriate to use the word "known" as a modifier in this sentence.

 

[elander_]

If you want to edit and spellcheck this game easily ask your programmer to export all your text lines to a simple text file format like this:

#00ffaa12 <- an hexadecimal hash code to identify the text line
Your text for a dialog entry or a menu entry or whatever, bla bla bla
#0045aa12
Another text entry with variables $pcname$ bla bla bla

 and so on

Then use MS Word to spell check this text file for you. When you are done import the text back again into the game.

That's how many games including Morrowind TESCS work.

 

[galsiah]

And it absolultey does, "jibe".

Sure, but it clearly doesn't jive - presuming there's no 70's Blacksploitation honkey voice-over on mouse-over.

 

[Claw]

You are the only one who has a problem with it, but we'll take it under consideration.

I don't believe "the Commercium" sounds bad, but he's right about the article. I never say "USA" either. It's either "the USA" or America.

 

[cardtrick]

If you want to edit and spellcheck this game easily ask your programmer to export all your text lines to a simple text file format like this:

#00ffaa12 <- an hexadecimal hash code to identify the text line
Your text for a dialog entry or a menu entry or whatever, bla bla bla
#0045aa12
Another text entry with variables $pcname$ bla bla bla

 and so on

Then use MS Word to spell check this text file for you. When you are done import the text back again into the game.

That's how many games including Morrowind TESCS work.

Heh, that's almost exactly what I suggested here, although my suggestion included distributing those exported chunks of text at random to volunteer editors to allow for more complex copy editing before importing them.

 

[cardtrick]

You are the only one who has a problem with it, but we'll take it under consideration.

I don't believe "the Commercium" sounds bad, but he's right about the article. I never say "USA" either. It's either "the USA" or America.

Yes -- I actually agree with this. I've never mentioned it because it's not very offensive to me, but "the Commercium" sounds better than "Commercium" to me.

To use your Star Wars example . . . it would sound stupid if someone said "Uh oh! Trade Federation blockaded our planet!", rather than "Uh oh! The Trade Federation blockaded our planet!"

 

[Andhaira]

Summon the Jedi! lol

 

[Nael]

Ok, someone please tell me if I am missing something here. The game has not been released , right? Are you guys beta testers that have played the game at all? If not how can you, with any kind of justifiable confidence, comment on the quality of the writing? I can understand debating the core mechanics that have been revealed, graphical qualities, or maybe a precedent that you can expect with the associated writer, but debating the quality of writing based upon a handful of pre-release screenshots seems roughshod at best.

 

[cardtrick]

Ok, someone please tell me if I am missing something here. The game has not been released , right? Are you guys beta testers that have played the game at all? If not how can you, with any kind of justifiable confidence, comment on the quality of the writing? I can understand debating the core mechanics that have been revealed, graphical qualities, or maybe a precedent that you can expect with the associated writer, but debating the quality of writing based upon a handful of pre-release screenshots seems roughshod at best.

It's 50 or 60 screenshots, most of them released in the Let's Play thread. You must have big hands.

 

[Vault Dweller]

You are the only one who has a problem with it, but we'll take it under consideration.

I don't believe "the Commercium" sounds bad, but he's right about the article. I never say "USA" either. It's either "the USA" or America.

Yes -- I actually agree with this. I've never mentioned it because it's not very offensive to me, but "the Commercium" sounds better than "Commercium" to me.

To use your Star Wars example . . . it would sound stupid if someone said "Uh oh! Trade Federation blockaded our planet!", rather than "Uh oh! The Trade Federation blockaded our planet!"

I'm curious about it, so some clarifications would help. Here is how I [naively] see it:

"Trade Federation" is a generic name. "The" turns it into a very specific organization. Commercium is a specific name and thus doesn't require a definite article (unless every trading company in AoD is called commercium). I mean, we don't add "the" to names like Sony or Microsoft, do we?

"Imperial Guards", for example, is a generic name and an article is required to indicate a specific organization.

@ Claw: From a random grammar site:

You do not use an article before the names of countries except where they indicate multiple areas or contain the words state(s), kindom, republic, union). Kingdom, state, republic and union are nouns, so they need an article.

For example:

No article - Italy, Mexico, Bolivia, England

Use the - the UK (United Kingdom), the USA (United States of America), the Irish Republic

Multiple areas! the Netherlands, the Philippines, the British Isles.

 

[galsiah]

I'm curious about it, so some clarifications would help. Here is how I [naively] see it:

"Trade Federation" is a generic name. "The" turns it into a very specific organization. Commercium is a specific name and thus doesn't require a definite article (unless every trading company in AoD is called commercium). I mean, we don't add "the" to names like Sony or Microsoft, do we?

That's all strictly correct, but the point is that Commercium just sounds like a generic term to most people - it does to me at least.

It sounds like a descriptive term later adopted as the name of a specific organization - like The Imperial Guards. "Imperial Guards" can just as well be a specific name as "Commercium" - but it doesn't feel right, since it would obviously have evolved from a generic "the imperial guards" into a proper name "The Imperial Guards" over time. Dropping the "The" would seem odd given the history of the term - so it stays.

Whether or not "commercium" is a generic term, it certainly sounds like one, so the above reasoning applies there too - people expect that it's changed from "the commercium" to "The Commercium" over time, and dropping the "The" just feels wrong.

You'd still be perfectly correct to say just "Commercium". It's just that it won't have the right feel since there'll be a contradiction between the "That sounds like it evolved from a generic term..." and the "There's no 'The', so it must be an imagined name..." ideas.

I think it's the 'ium' which has "evolved from generic term" written all over it. If they were called e.g. "Commerc", it wouldn't feel wrong (that's not a suggestion).

 

[Shagnak]

"The Commercium" sounds much better to me. Every time I see "Commercium" as it stands now, it is a little jarring.

You're using it like it's the name of a private company as opposed to the title of a collective. Don't have time to explain beyond that but I doubt what you've chosen sounds as right as the alternative to many native English speakers.

Edit:
also, "the merchants' guild" or the "merchants guild"?.
Oh picky picky. Whatever, I'm sure the game will shine with or without our anal observations.

Edit2:

Use the - the UK (United Kingdom), the USA (United States of America), the Irish Republic

But if the poms etc were to decide that they want to use "Unitium" instead of "United Kingdom", then wouldn't it sound more correct to use "The Unitium"?
The point is that "Commercium" is a direct replacement of "Traders' Guild" (or whatever) and should be used as so, i.e. "the Traders' Guild" -> "the Commercium".

 

[Azarkon]

Generally, whenever there's confusion between the generic and proper versions of a noun an article is used to distinguish between them. No article refers to the specific (which might have nothing to do with the generic - ie "Apple" vs. "apple"), "a" refers to the generic, and "the" refers to a specific instance of the generic which, if capitalized, indicates a widely understood (as opposed to contextually understood) reference. If a noun can take on all three forms, it's preferred that the specific-instance-of-the-genetic form not be conflated with the specific-but-not-as-an-instance-of-the-generic form.

"Commercium," which by the way has an existing, albeit non-standard, usage: (http://www.reference.com/search?r=13&q=Commercium), is a mating of "commerce" and "ium," a suffix sometimes used to designate an enclosed facility (ie Pandemonium, Coliseum, auditorium, atrium, castilium, sanitorium), which then roughly translates to "an enclosed facility for doing commerce." This image, conjured by the word, is notably generic, because there are always multiple facilities for doing commerce. It's easy to imagine "a commercium" where merchants might gather, as opposed to "the Commercium" that stands for the proper name of an organization or place. The result is that an article is needed to distinguish between the generic and proper forms of this noun (which you wouldn't need if there was no generic form - ie Ebay), even though it's an imaginary noun where the generic form is never mentioned - simply because of the construction and etymology of the word. Complicated, I know, but what's amazing is that common speakers of English who've never come across Commercium immediately notices that something is off - such are the subtle, unspoken nuances of language that escape the rules of grammar.

For juxtaposition, notice that Pandemonium does not require an article, because it's hard to imagine a generic place where all demons gather, and because the word simply sounds better as a proper noun. As with everything beyond grammar, there are no hard and fast rules - only guidances.

 

[DarkUnderlord]

I mean, we don't add "the" to names like Sony or Microsoft, do we?

Some people do. I for one, hear there are rumours on The Internets. They may be found with The Google.

• In English, a definite article is mostly used to refer to an object or person who has been previously introduced.
  
  At last they came to a piece of rising ground, from which they plainly distinguished, sleeping on a distant mountain, a mammoth bear. . . . Then they requested the eldest to try and slip the belt over the bear's head. . . .
  
  — Mark Twain, Life on the Mississippi, appendix D

Microsoft is a Corporation. One may be a member of "The Microsoft Corporation".

No article - Italy, Mexico, Bolivia, England

Use the - the UK (United Kingdom), the USA (United States of America), the Irish Republic

Multiple areas! the Netherlands, the Philippines, the British Isles.

"The UK". So what about "the NATO"? It is after all, "the" North Atlantic Treaty Organisation and yet "the CIA", "the FBI", "the NSA" all sound perfectly fine. But you wouldn't go to "The NASA".

More interesting stuff here, here and here, which basically re-state what Azarkon said.

 

[Vault Dweller]

Microsoft is a Corporation. One may be a member of "The Microsoft Corporation".

That's understandable. Corporation is a generic word and thus requires an article. Same goes for "The Sony Store".

"The UK". So what about "the NATO"? It is after all, "the" North Atlantic Treaty Organisation and yet "the CIA", "the FBI", "the NSA" all sound perfectly fine.

Good point, although most likely "the" is carried over from the spelled out names.

"The Commercium" sounds much better to me. Every time I see "Commercium" as it stands now, it is a little jarring.

You're using it like it's the name of a private company as opposed to the title of a collective. Don't have time to explain beyond that but I doubt what you've chosen sounds as right as the alternative to many native English speakers.

I agree. I've always thought it was a bit jarring too, but I couldn't find any grammar rules supporting "the". Anyway, we'll either add "the" or come up with a different, more interesting name.

 

[cardtrick]

Here is how I [naively] see it:It sounds like a descriptive term later adopted as the name of a specific organization - like The Imperial Guards. "Imperial Guards" can just as well be a specific name as "Commercium" - but it doesn't feel right, since it would obviously have evolved from a generic "the imperial guards" into a proper name "The Imperial Guards" over time. Dropping the "The" would seem odd given the history of the term - so it stays.

Whether or not "commercium" is a generic term, it certainly sounds like one, so the above reasoning applies there too - people expect that it's changed from "the commercium" to "The Commercium" over time, and dropping the "The" just feels wrong.

Galsiah hit it on the head here.

 

[DarkUnderlord]

Microsoft is a Corporation. One may be a member of "The Microsoft Corporation".

That's understandable. Corporation is a generic word and thus requires an article. Same goes for "The Sony Store".

Yet we don't commonly say "The" News Corporation.

"The UK". So what about "the NATO"? It is after all, "the" North Atlantic Treaty Organisation and yet "the CIA", "the FBI", "the NSA" all sound perfectly fine.

Good point, although most likely "the" is carried over from the spelled out names.

We also don't say "The" CNN, yet one might say that it is "the" Cable News Network (network being a generic word), as opposed to saying "Cable News Network".

... or come up with a different, more interesting name.

Just call it "The". It would add to the general all round confusion.

 

[Major_Blackhart]

I honestly thought it was fine. From what little I've seen in previews, it looks acceptable and gives excellent descriptions while still allowing for the imagination to take it's course. In this case, because graphics cannot confer what the NPC is feeling, etc, etc, I think the writing does that perfectly.

 

[SmokedWolf]

Just quickly.

The merchant was awake when I arrived. He either hadn't slept, or was early to rise.

 

[Helton]

That's not active tense.

 

[SmokedWolf]

Sure but when it is narrated the character is standing in the merchant's room. It should not be narrated that the character is finding the merchant awake now at this moment. It is more the character has found the merchant awake roll camera.

 

[crufty]

zzzz

I'm a member of the bloods. I do the c-walk. My homey, almost a blood, if not in the bloods directly, lives in the village one county over. We call it Los Angeles, aka The City of Angels. I'm also a mom. Moms like to go out at night and eat ice cream. I am not a dad. The dad's like to drink beer.


certainly a rough one.

 

[SmokedWolf]

I'm gonna bite...

What?

 

[RK47]

we have to be glad there's no spoken dialogues, else patching would involve changing the spoken lines.

 

[Jasede]

The typos and occasional awkwardness aren't too much of a problem.

Didn't vote, but come ON. Nothing, nothing is as terribly jarring as a typo, and awkard sentences break the flow of reading. This has no place in an RPG like this.