Goodbye Bioware

[Average Manatee]

Bioware needs to take a page from the much more experienced Hentai community and start including disclaimers:

"This game only contains characters above the legal age in whatever country you play this game in. Pay no heed to the fact that they appear to be 10 year olds. All interactions performed are between consenting adults who are actually only roleplaying"

 

[Outlander]

I bet half of the game's budget went to finance endless back and forth meetings between the legal and art departments to fine tune Merrill and get the youngest possible model approved without stepping into pedo-land.

 

[deuxhero]

for god's sake man merril seriously looks like a 14 year old at most

how young do you want them romances

Young enough for Biodrones to turn on eachother.

 

[Deleted member 7219]

Elves looked pretty good in Origins. Why they made them all look like hideously deformed children in 2, I don't know.

 

[Commissar Draco]

How they could make Dragon age Du in first place? Also Merill is elven so it is zoophilia not pedophilia.

 

[commie]

if bioware goes we shall lose 65% of all rpg-related rule34

And nothing of value would be lost....

 

[Roguey]

Elves looked pretty good in Origins. Why they made them all look like hideously deformed children in 2, I don't know.

They looked like humans with pointy ears, now they have distinctive silhouettes which is all that matters.

 

[Xor]

After I finally broke down and played DA2, I was actually surprised that I liked two of the characters (Aveline and Varric). And asshole hawke's dialog was amusing enough for me to finish the game. There was also a surprising amount of C&C. The plot was pretty bad, though.

I thought the derpy elf models were just another symptom of how rushed the game was.

 

[Infinitron]

There was also a surprising amount of C&C.

Define 'surprising'.

Mostly you had "C without C". One case of actual C&C that I liked was the Gascard DuPuis plotline.

 

[Stinger]

Xor fell for the "illusion" of choice.

Xor, if you replayed the game you'd realise those choices meant shit all. Bioware got you good.

Also, Asshole Thorton was better.

 

[joeydohn]

I thought the derpy elf models were just another symptom of how rushed the game was.

Wasn't it pandering to the huge Avatar fandom that thought they were giant blue bajoran/elf hybrids?

 

[Captain Shrek]

After I finally broke down and played DA2, I was actually surprised that I liked two of the characters (Aveline and Varric). And asshole hawke's dialog was amusing enough for me to finish the game. There was also a surprising amount of C&C. The plot was pretty bad, though.

I thought the derpy elf models were just another symptom of how rushed the game was.

 

[Xor]

Define 'surprising'.

Mostly you had "C without C". One case of actual C&C that I liked was the Gascard DuPuis plotline.

Surprising in that there were any choices at all.

Xor fell for the "illusion" of choice.

Xor, if you replayed the game you'd realise those choices meant shit all. Bioware got you good.

I'm not wasting another 30 hours of my life on a replay. I read about the choices on the DA wiki as I was playing through the game, and I was surprised by how many variations there were to certain quests. The biggest examples I can think of are your sibling living or dying and how the qunari deal with you at the end of act 2. Given what bioware has been producing lately, that was more than I was expecting.
So I think the issue is that my expectations for bioware are so ridiculously low that I'm willing to praise them for doing the slightest thing even remotely right.

Also, Asshole Thorton was better.

Oh yeah, AP had much better dialog overall.

I won't pretend to hate everything about the game just to fit in. If I see something I like, I'll point it out.

 

[Stinger]

how the qunari deal with you at the end of act 2

So...either you kill them and Isabella lives/escapes and everyone treats you as a great champion and elects a statue for you and talk about how you killed the qunari Or....you kill the qunari but let the Arishok leave in peace and Isabella escapes and everyone treats you as a great champion and elects a statue for you and talk about how you killed the qunari?

The sibling one at the end of 'Act 1' is the only choice that actually amounts to anything, admittedly it's quite an interesting choice even if it feels a little railroady (VD covered that aspect quite well in his review). Everything else is purely illusory even by Bioware standards.

So I think the issue is that my expectations for bioware are so ridiculously low that I'm willing to praise them for doing the slightest thing even remotely right.

Clearly.

 

[Marobug]

Skip to 1:55 unless you want to suffer a permanent penalty to INT.

Those models look hideous btw.

Why is my sex tape on youtube

 

[Xor]

So...either you kill them and Isabella lives/escapes and everyone treats you as a great champion and elects a statue for you and talk about how you killed the qunari Or....you kill the qunari but let the Arishok leave in peace and Isabella escapes and everyone treats you as a great champion and elects a statue for you and talk about how you killed the qunari?

Not so much the consequences of that scene itself, but how your dealings with the qunari influence how that scene plays out. If the arishok (don't care how it's spelled) respects you, it's easier to resolve the situation. If you told Isabella to fuck off (I did), you can't resolve the situation peacefully. I think there was another factor too.

If only they had that kind of choice continuity between acts. I feel like the time skips could have worked really well to showcase consequences for your choices, but in order to do that they'd actually have to put effort into their design process. And we can't have that.

 

[Jaesun]

they'd actually have to put effort into their design process.

THAT sums up current BioWare perfectly.

 

[Cynic]

Skip to 1:55 unless you want to suffer a permanent penalty to INT.

Those models look hideous btw.

Why is my sex tape on youtube

Please, help me, I watched the dialog...I...I don't know how I can live anymore...

 

[SCO]

I skipped to the end i had a eyeroll that caused temporary strabismus.
"handprints on the chandelier? Oh merril"


It's amazing - i avoided all dialog except exactly one line not in conversation with her, and it's STILL something infantilizing her.

 

[Outlander]

 

[racofer]

Skip to 1:55 unless you want to suffer a permanent penalty to INT.

Those models look hideous btw.

Why is my sex tape on youtube

Please, help me, I watched the dialog...I...I don't know how I can live anymore...

You've been infected with the BlightowarEA and have suffered a permanent 2d6 penalty to your intelligence score, with subsequent 1d5 accumulating damage points every hour. You must now undertake the long walk of shame to cleanse yourself off this curse, or you will turn into a wild biowhore.

Travel north to 8105 Irvine Center Drive, Suite 200. There will be several beings from the ancient times, from long before the great decline, inhabiting that place. To cleanse your spirit, you must thoroughly follow these instructions: don't look into their eyes, keep your head down at all times. Take a sip off each one of the ancient's urine and find the one that tastes sweet. Once you find this one, look up and gaze into his eyes, for you will have found the Master.