Ideally I'd want something like planescape torment or baldur's gate 3, but isn't a thing yet for JRPGs?
Similar in what regard? You're not going to find anything using a DnD engine. But customizing parties, character classes, open worlds filled with sidequests, rewarding exploration or focus on narratives are all things that can be on the table. You mentioned like Xenogears which implies to me you enjoy the narrative over other factors. I'd maybe recommend this or Valkyrie Profile. For what it's worth, I don't think anything you've played on that list would make my top 10, and I've played it all except wandering sword and arcturus. Actually at this point those games probably wouldn't rate in my top 20. FF7 would probably have the best shot. I like FF6 as well but that's just nostalgia talking, it was my first rpg. I'm more of a gameplay whore.
I haven't played this remake, but I'll vouch for the original game having a cool story with some mutually exclusive recruitable characters and excellent music. Combat can be fairly mindless on the lower difficulties (which you were forced to start on in the original, dunno if the remake fixes that) but I still often enjoyed it, it was just well paced and varied enough I suppose. A big aspect of this game is the 'private action' system, where you can start optional cutscenes/skits/whatever in various places, often gated by needing specific party members or being at the right time and place. They tend to be interactive cutscenes though, if that makes sense. You might enter a town and have everyone split up, giving you a chance to wander around and see what everyone is doing, or ignore characters you don't care about. I always thought it was a better system than shoveling everything down your throat. Feels way more natural to pop into a village for a pit stop on your way back across a continent and find your favourite member chilling in a library reading stories to the kids while another one is angrily haggling with the owner of a jewelry store or something.
Question: Did they fix the knife skills bug, where an early game skill clearly intended to give you 2 strength per point was instead giving 20 and trivialized like the first half of the game?