Let's Play Pokemon Emerald!

MOAR!

skyway said:

MOAR!

Click to expand...

I can't take that seriously unless you also post a picture of a cat. So do it.

In other news, today two new voters have declared this as "not awesome", which upsets me deeply. I think that we all can agree on that this is the most awesome thing to happen to the Codex since the great flood and I'm sure these three nay-sayers also think so, but are either afraid of what such a commitment would mean or simply pressed the wrong button. What we need is to sit down and work on these problems so that this fantastic action movie blockbuster in the making can get the right amount of cocks sucked it so deserves. Maybe make bigger buttons or something.

All nay-sayers can report to me via a private message along with their real names and adresses. Since we most likely live in different parts of the world and different timezones, I think this would be the best course of action to prevent any disasters.

Awesomely yours, Locue

(Read as: tell me what's wrong and I'll fix it, you crybabies.)

Guys, just want to let you know that updates are coming and that they are pink and erect and deliciously delicate like the big rubber rooster dangling between Ron Jeremys legs.

They are like a pink carrot?

thesheeep said:

They are like a pink carrot?

Click to expand...

Oh, I see what you did there, dude. Oh yeah, wanna nibble Ronnies carrot, do ya?

Finally.

Sovy Kurosei said:

Finally.

Click to expand...

Yeah, and look out for less "teh funneh" also. Establishing that kingcomrade status quo wasn't funny so I think I'm going to put on my executive hat whenever I have a poll in the future.

I should have an update up and running tomorrow.

Get me my pokébag. It's the one that says "Bad Motherfucker" on it.

You know what time it is.



Previously in let's play pokemon emerald god became kay-zee bubbles got shoes flappyjack still pissed off mysterious men talking stuff etcetera etcetera cock



"Yeah!"

The Terrific Treesome was walking on the road, always throwing watchful eyes for evil racoons lurking in the grass.


"Oh boy, oh boy! I can't believe we're finally on a grand pokemon adventure!"
"Sure took a fucking long time!"
"Well, you know how it is when you're insignificant and you're dragging us really important people down in the mud with you?"
"Fuck you, God! Or Kay-Zee! Or whatever the hell you are! Fucking creep."
"Don't fight."

They were staying the fuck away from the grass and everything was going alright, when suddenly!


"Oh no!"
"GRASS! THE DEVIL'S OWN! WE HAVE TO TURN BACK!"
"What? Are you some kind of fu... We'll just go through it! Come on!"
"No, there's pokemon in the grass! That guy said so."
"Well... Yeah! Of course there are pokemon in the grass! Who said this?"
"That guy over there."


"Right."
"So you see we need to find a way without grass. Surely there must be some kind of road somewhere with complete lack of vegetation that we can walk on?"
"But I'm a pokemon!"
"There is no road, Bubbles! I am afraid all cars simply teleport from town to town."
"I can fight any monsters that show up!"
"No, Flappyjack, you almost died when you last fought a pokemon from these grasses. We can let you fight when we find a way around route 101."
"BUT I'M LEVEL 10!"


"Nice try, Flappyjack. You're only level 9!"
"I WAS ROUNDING IT UP TO THE NEAREST EVEN NUMBER!"
"Shut up, level niner."
"IT DOESN'T MATTER! EVERYONE ON THIS ROUTE ARE LEVEL 3!"
"Yes, Flappyjack, but you don't need to point that out to them."
"Looks like you got some growing up to do, you wandering STD. All the more reason to save the big league for when you're older and wiser. Now let's go find a way around this grass."
"What's an STD, Kay-Zee?"
"Oh for fu..."

We'll compress time itself to save time while the Tremendous Trio went on an epic journey to find a path around the path.



All done.

"Well, here we are now, safely on route 102!"
"Fucking hell."


"We sure were lucky, Kay-Zee!"
"Yes, Bubbles. Indeed we were!"
"To think that a bunch of friendly poo-poo pokemon would dig us a tunnel under the dangerous grassy roads!"
"Indeed, Bubbles."
"And to think that they even knew how to dig!"
"Yes, Bubbles."
"All poo I've ever seen has always been more fond of swimming, like fish in the sea!"
"Truly one of the most technologically advanced beings ever."
"I'm so happy we're on our way and left that horrible route 101!"
"We were fortunate, Bubbles, but my heart still cannot let go of the many innocent souls that weren't blessed with the luck of a Texas superhero."
"I am sad."
"Cry not, little Bubbles, for we shall think of them always and because we do they shall not be alone."
"That's beautiful, Kay-Zee."
"I know, Bubbles. I know."
"Man, this is bullshit!"
"Shush, Flappyjack! Respect the fallen!"
"Whatever."


"Hey, look, grass! Can I run around in THEM?"
"Yes, Flappyjack. They seem to be more in your league."
"Uh-huh."

And so Bubbles released Flappyjack and allowed him to run free through the grass. He fought many a pokemon, some which Bubbles catched and some which Bubbles left for dead hidden in the grass. Among the newcomers were Chomperina, one ugly bitch; Doomterror, future racoon overlord; and Rick, the bird.


(Rick, the bird, who otherwise very easily could fly away had to be locked up in a special holding cell whenever he's out of his ball.)

"Well, this blows."
"Shut up, bird."
"Man, I'm going to get so much angst outta this."

The Tracker Trinkets had suddenly become The Sexy Sextette!

"Neither I nor my people asked for this!"
"Shut up, faggot. Our power grows and it is awesome."
"Now, now, Kay-Zee, we're doing this only for friendship and love!"
"Peace through power!"
"..."
"What?"
"... we're fucked."

The Sucking Sexmachines were on their way to stardom when suddenly...

"Are you fucking kidding?"
"No, most certainly not! Get ready! I shall battle you for 80 dollars!"
"You have 80 dollars?"
"Absolutely!"
"Are those... canadian dollars?"
"Enough talk! Fight me!"
"Alright you two, get someone else to fight this kid. I'm off to sleep."
"La-ame!"
"Uh-huh."


"Kay-Zee, time for some strategy talk. What do you think? We have a bird and two different kind of dogs."
"Bubbles?"
"Yes?"
"This kid's name is CALVIN."
"What's that got to do with things?"
"Calvin, Bubbles! His name is Calvin! Calvin!"
"... oh. Well, I guess we'll send out Doomterror then."
"Yeah."


"Well, fine! Take your blood money and go!"
"Calvins are auto-fail."
"Good job, Doomterror!"
"It was nothing."
"Yeah, easy work for those killer instincts, eh? The taste for blood! If you want to eat the boy I won't hold you back."
"That sounds really disgusting. And no, it really was nothing. Ours is a hopeless quest for glory and affection."
"Well, we appreciate it!"
"Sometimes I like to look at rain and think about how pointless my life is."
"... go get some rest in your ball, Doomy. I think you need it."
"It's all pointless."
"Fucking emo-racoon. You are a disgrace!"
"That's what my mom said. Oh, what a predicament..."
"Well, at least we got 80 dollars. I'm starting to feel like a real Pokemon Master!"

To be continued!

Locue said:

"Are those... canadian dollars?"

Click to expand...

According to google, 1 US dollar is now 1.01 (and change) Canadian dollars. And given that we've now started coloring our money "like Monopoly money," as people say, as well, jokes about Canadian dollars sort of lack punch these days.

What's the world coming to?!

also the favorite topic of KC besides

Our power grows and it is awesome.

Click to expand...

is warhammer 40k

it's a very important part of his personality - don't left it on the road.

dolio said:

Locue said:

"Are those... canadian dollars?"

Click to expand...

According to google, 1 US dollar is now 1.01 (and change) Canadian dollars. And given that we've now started coloring our money "like Monopoly money," as people say, as well, jokes about Canadian dollars sort of lack punch these days.

What's the world coming to?!

Click to expand...

It's coming to a halt, apparently, since you understand how the currency works AND understood how this joke went yet for some reason didn't at the same time. Right down the drain, brotha! It was an intentional funneh joke.

Also, Warhammer is for fags!

... so I shall certainly not leave it out.

Heh, an emo-raccoon.

This was one of the better posts. It isn't too X-TREME and over the top like some of the earlier ones.

I'd play, but I'm having problems getting saves to work correctly with my EZ Flash 3in1 and Rudolph's Expansion Pack Tool ATM, and can't be bothered to re-check patching or trying to figure out which storage box my real cart is in. (I've lost track of just about all of my GBA carts as I only had the original crappily unbacklit screened GBA and many games were using dark palette which made it a pain to play except for really bright sunny days in the summer months.) The realtime clock stuff won't work with Emerald on the 3in1 either as it has no RTC, and there is no patch to fake one, while sapphire and fire red IIRC both have patches that supposedly simulate an RTC...

Oddly, I can still lay my hand on almost all of my GB/GBC carts as I had resorted to using that to play portable games again a couple years ago, but now I've got a DS Lite, a few DS games, a couple slot-1 flash carts plus a few 2GB uSD cards, and the 3in1 so I've been dumping(or finding other dumps) and transferring saves of my old(and new) games to use with those. Plus there are some pretty good DS GB/GBC emulators, e.g. lameboy, so I've been using those to play my GB/GBC games VASTLY reducing the number of items(console plus carts) that I have to carry around. Problem with the GB/GBC games is that I've got no way to transfer those saves to the DS, and am debating just starting them all over again or cheat patching them so that I can use Action Replay cheats to hopefully get the games back to where I had them with the real carts.

Sovy Kurosei said:

Heh, an emo-raccoon.

This was one of the better posts. It isn't too X-TREME and over the top like some of the earlier ones.

Click to expand...

That was the plan so thanks for that.

cutterjohn said:

I'd play, but I'm having problems getting saves to work correctly with my EZ Flash 3in1 and Rudolph's Expansion Pack Tool ATM, and can't be bothered to re-check patching or trying to figure out which storage box my real cart is in. (I've lost track of just about all of my GBA carts as I only had the original crappily unbacklit screened GBA and many games were using dark palette which made it a pain to play except for really bright sunny days in the summer months.) The realtime clock stuff won't work with Emerald on the 3in1 either as it has no RTC, and there is no patch to fake one, while sapphire and fire red IIRC both have patches that supposedly simulate an RTC...

Oddly, I can still lay my hand on almost all of my GB/GBC carts as I had resorted to using that to play portable games again a couple years ago, but now I've got a DS Lite, a few DS games, a couple slot-1 flash carts plus a few 2GB uSD cards, and the 3in1 so I've been dumping(or finding other dumps) and transferring saves of my old(and new) games to use with those. Plus there are some pretty good DS GB/GBC emulators, e.g. lameboy, so I've been using those to play my GB/GBC games VASTLY reducing the number of items(console plus carts) that I have to carry around. Problem with the GB/GBC games is that I've got no way to transfer those saves to the DS, and am debating just starting them all over again or cheat patching them so that I can use Action Replay cheats to hopefully get the games back to where I had them with the real carts.

Click to expand...

I don't know what to do with all this information, John, but I bought the game when it came out and just downloaded the rom shortly after because of my bad eyesight (which incidently I didn't have before I bought a GBA, go figure).

Emerald and all other GB-games work on emulator. The clock and timed events too, even though they're not even a remotely important factor in the game.

There's a clock patch for Fire Red and one of the other earlier GBA Pokemons that lets realtime clock based events mostly work.

I think that I just messed up my patching when I installed Emerald as to use it on the equipment that I'm using now, I have to use a particular Windows patch application, then a second Windows application to "fix" the realtime clock otherwise I get corrupted saves and the battery run dry message when I startup, which is what I'm getting now. Presumably I grabbed the unpatched copy when I installed it.

The clock works with the emulator, because it's emulating a clock and pulling the time info from whatever the platform that you're using it on gets that from. What I'm using is a cart for a Nintendo DS which I can download ROMs to, to play them on kind of real hardware that actually has a viewable screen. Using lameboy on the DS for my GB/GBC games now to, but unfortunately, have no way to get my saves off of my real carts for that, probably patch them with trainers and cheat them to where I was with those.

Eyesight. Yeah, those original GBAs will do that to ya. Hell, one of the first games that I bought with the GBA was the Castlevania game and that was pretty much impossible to play even in birght sunlight. Also must've tried about 4 or 5 of the external light/magnifier things but never found one actually worth a damn.

Anyways, better finish up the game so that this one can join the very few completed lets play threads.

cutterjohn said:

Anyways, better finish up the game so that this one can join the very few completed lets play threads.

Click to expand...

I was promised a medal if I did and I am going to get that damn medal, one way or another. Always been a sucker for shiny objects!

An update is in the works, by the way, and will be a, quote unquote, long fucking update judging from the amount of hilarious screenshots I took, thinking I could write hilarious dialogue around. We'll see how many pics survive the process. After all, this is pure quality. Never doubt.

Hurry up then. The audience is waiting.

Sovy Kurosei said:

Hurry up then. The audience is waiting.

Click to expand...

Why anyone would want to read this crap is beyond me, but the update will be ready tomorrow.

Because I love you.

Route to stardom! [January 19th, 2008|02:53pm]

[Current Mood: Pokemon Masterly!]
[Current Music: Shane MacGovan & The Popes - I Touch Myself]

___________

Dear livejournal, today my quest for ultimate Pokemon Battler stardom continued! Together with Kay-Zee and my pokemon I battled several trainers and even more wild pokemon!



Rick was weird. He used bug pokemon exclusively. His eyes were weird and Kay-Zee said it was probably because of that gay hat he was wearing. I don't know what he was talking about and he didn't want to say anything else about it. He said it was a touchy issue. I think I saw Flappyjack make a note of it. I wonder were he got the pen and paper.



Rick sure wanted to battle! In fact, he was so eager to battle me and my pokemon that he jumped at me and squeezed my boobs! I'm sure he thought they were my pokeballs. Sometimes people get them confused because they're so round and firm even though I'm only ten years old according to my wikipedia entry! Kay-Zee is always asking me if he can take some pictures of them and post them at his Warhammer-fangirls gone wild forum but I think that would come back to haunt me in the future so I said no. Kay-Zee told me he was proud of me for saying no. Not many girls do that when he asks them. We hugged. Kay-Zee is so cool!

Flappyjack was exhausted but convinced he could defeat a bug. Kay-Zee didn't care at all. I don't think he likes Flappy much. He yelled "faint" repeatedly at him. It was really disturbing so I decided that it was best to send out someone else.



Kay-Zee and Flappy were both disappointed but a great pokemon master must always think ahead! I decided to send out Rick, the bird, to combat Rick, the bug pokemon battler. Birds eat bugs, don't they? Well, not very well.



Rick didn't have any beak-related moves. He could only growl and shoot water and neither had any effect on the bug.



And eventually things got out of hand and Rick, the bird, almost died!! Luckily I could send out Doomterror almost immediately.



Doomterror sure whooped that bug good!



Next we were assaulted by a youngster who said he was as green as us.



That was so rude of how him! Kay-Zee even decided to shoot him with a special stormbolterinfernocannonultrablaster he had stolen from one of his Warhammer friends. It was painted green and looked really cool! Unfortunately it was made of plastic so it didn't do anything except emit annoying noises. Kay-Zee explained that he only wanted to scare the rude guy but that we had to fight him the traditional way!! Flappyjack thought he was full of shit. Flappyjack is so funny!



He sure did!



He sent out a zigzagoon who appeared to be exactly like Doomterror in every way, except for the personality which was rather scandalous. He called me a whore and said he would dominate my ass! The nerve! Luckily Flappyjack immediately came to my rescue even though he was almost having another heart attack! Flappyjack is awesome!!! :D :D :D



"One wet fucking zigzagoon coming up!" Flappyjack screamed and launched his watergun. I have no idea where he hides it. Kay-Zee explained it was a gay thing. Gay people sounds more and more like horrible mutants the more Kay-Zee talks about them.



Out of nowhere, scottish pop n' roll band Wet Wet Wet appeared and started playing their only most successful song Love is all around!!



Man, that second guy from the left sure looks like a vampire! And wasn't that song a cover?! Weird! Anyway, when they finished the evil zigzagoon was all dead and wet and the scottish vampires were gone!! Doomterror went up to his fallen brother's corpse and sniffed at its crotch for a bit, saying something about how beautiful the dead is compared to the living. I don't know what he meant. Weird!

The next opponent was the united states bird, only he wasn't bald!! This was so exciting that we decided to send out our newest acquisition, a female worm we had accidently captured when a pokeball bounced off of a ferocious t-rex. We had named her Slimara because we didn't care much for her and Rick, the bird, wanted to eat her.



We sure were sadists but I don't think that matters, because Slimara proved that she was more than a slimy little worm. She killed that feathery US-eagle with poison stings and bondage rope! Slimara scared me so I had Kay-Zee put her in the ball instead. He used several bad words during the process but eventually he succeeded. And we sure won!



As we went up, Rick, the bird, noticed some berries to the right. Berries are awesome so we went to pick them up!



We sure did!

Then we got a vision! It asked us if we wanted to plant a berry in the empty soil so that further generations could enjoy berries.



We didn't care for that.

Moving on we found another trainer waiting for a smackdown!


"No you" I yelled back. I thought it was a really snappy comeback but she just laughed at me. Why is everyone so mean?



To make things worse, the mushroom she sent out didn't even bat an eyelash... or something, when stung by Slimaras attacks! Apparently it could feast on Slimaras blood and make itself stronger! Kay-Zee was impressed and suggested that we found ourselves our own vampire once we had defeated this one. I don't know why there's so many vampires here! They're so scary.

Anyway, we decided to test the ugly bitch Chomperina for this one. She had the most health anyway and Kay-Zee said she had a cool bite attack she could use on that mushroom cock! I didn't understand everything but it worked! Unfortunately I didn't seem to get any pictures of Chomperina because she was so ugly with parts of mushroom pokemon in her mouth. I mean, ewww! Anyway, Chomperina wasn't strong enough to finish off the mushroom and so I sent out Flappyjack for the kill and he sure delivered! Flappyjack is also very photogenic even if he rarely shows his best side! I think he's shy.


"No you" I yelled at her! She didn't laugh that time. Haha! I'm so cool!!

Next we started to fight wild pokemon! We didn't find any mushrooms but we sure found a weird pokemon with a leaf on its head.



According to the pokedex it makes money by transporting other pokemon over dangerous waters. Kay-Zee said it was a mexican pokemon. I have no idea what a mexican is but I remember dad saying something a big wall to protect us from them so I wasn't so sure about catching a mexican. Eventually Kay-Zee convinced me by saying that not all mexicans are evil.

We also found a weird acorn-like pokemon.



I catched it on the first try! I'm so awesome! :D :D :D

Oh dear, it looks like this is becoming a very long post! I think I'll save the rest for tomorrow when we finally get to the town where dad is working! It's going to be really "plotty" according to Flappyjack. He's so crazy!

Hugs and kisses! See you tomorrow!

/ Bubbles, future pokemon master!

Route to stardom - part deux! [January 29th, 2008|09:48pm]

[Current Mood: feeling hot! :twisted:]
[Current Music: Bad Religion - We Are The World]

Dear livejournal, today we entered the town of Petalburg, where people mingle with nature!



Yeah, just like it said so on the sign there. Surely, digital cameras are the future! Rick, the bird, was really sweet. I think I look the best from an ismoteric view or whatever he was talking about! That bird is crazy! It's just too bad the others didn't want to stick around and have their photo taken as well but obviously their behinds aren't as photogenic as mine!



Just look at me flexing it!



That is one fine ass! :twisted:

I wonder what the others are doing right now. We're live from Petalburg here... well, I think it's rude!

__________
[Intermission]



"Do you really think this is a good idea to be messing with computers, God?"
"My name is Kay-Zee!"
"Whatever."
"Of course it's a good idea, you annoying little blue... thing! Why would it be a bad thing?"
"Well, you're kind of unreliable."
"Unreliable? Me? Oh, I don't know what you're... oh, hey, we're finally in!"
"YOU HACKED THE COMPUTER?!"
"No, I paid this guy on the side to do it for me. I may be God but I'm no nerd."
"Hello!"
"Right."
"I'm a hacker!"
"Lovely. Shut up."
""
"Did you just made that poor man cry?"
"No! I... he's a fucking pussy!"
"You're a horrible, horrible thing. Anyway, let's see..."



"Bubbles' PC or Someone's PC?"
"You wouldn't dare to hack that poor girl's private computer!"
"Oh would you please shut up. I already know her livejournal password. It's really not that interesting. Lots of angst and loneliness and crap hidden behind a happy, cheerful facade. Boring. Let's take a look at this Someone instead. Seems like an interesting and uplifting character!"

(The sound of a button being pushed.)



"Did you just also hear the sound of a button being pushed?"
"As you pushed the button?"
"Yeah."
"Yes, it went "dick" just like in the movies."
"Excellent ears, you blue bomb carpet victim."
"Hey!"
"Okay, let's see... Whoa!"



"Well, this is certainly interesting."
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing, get back in your box... ball! Get back in your ball."
"We're not doing anything. Just checking out the computer."
"We're all nerds here!"
"Shut up!"
"Are you two doing something illegal?"
"No."
"Hey, I think they're doing something illegal."
"Like it matters..."
"Doomterror!"
"Oh the futility."
"I can't believe this!"
"Ball! Now!"
"I'll be back!"
"No, you won't."



"Alright, my friend! Let's do some storing!"
"I'm your friend now?"
"Of course you are, you stupid little ballsack!"
"Right."



"Let's store the fuck outta that bitch!"
"Hey, what's happening?"
"The end is near. Oh..."
"Shut the fuck up, emofag! What the fuck are you two doing?!"
"IT'S THE DIGITAL AGE, BITCH!"
"Uh, I'm really sorry about this..."
"Sorry seems to be the hardest wooo-oord..."
"YOU UNBELIEVABLE COCKSUCKERS! I'LL HAVE YOU FOR THI-IIIIIISSS!!!!"

(Sound a microwave oven does when its ready)

"Well, we probably won't release her anytime soon."
"That was unsettling."
"Alright. One more to go!"
"Who?"
"That worm bitch Slimara! She's dangerous and she's only going to turn into some stupid butterfly anyway so why not?"



(Sound that goes like DING!)

"One could get used to this!"
"We don't even know where we're sending them!"
"We're all doomed anyway..."
"Shut up, you archetypical emofag."
"Oh, stereotypes are the new norm."
"What?"
"I'll just go now."

[/Intermission]


Well, I'm sure they're doing alright! Hey, Rick, the bird, I know! Let's enter houses and talk to people! Let's do it! :D

What do you mean you're not into getting into houses?

Two reasons?

It's boring? Well, I guess, but...

.. what?

You're a bird?

Man, you suck, Rick!

Alright, jeez! Let's just go meet my father and move on.



He even has a sign outside his office, Rick!

What?

STOP FLYING, YOU FUCKING MORON! GET DOWN HERE!

"Yeah, fuck you want?"
"Look, my father has a sign outside his office!"
"..."
"Rick?"

GET DOWN HERE!

Fucking bird...

Oh well, I guess we should go inside.



Hmm...



Nah, let's do that some other time! He won't mind. He's my daddy!


"Uh, who are you?"
"Turn off that livejournal, miss."
"What?"
"Just cooperate, miss."
"Uh, alright."
"Good, good. Hey, is that bird yours?"
"Uh, no."
"Hm, well, we should shoot him down. Seems like he's stolen someones camera. Oh well, no harm, I guess."


"Uh..."

"Uh..."

"Uh, I know..."

"Uh, okay..."
"Good, good... Well, have a good time!"



Who was that?

Hey, Rick! Did you get all that?

You subtitled it?

Rick, the bird, you're awesome!

What?

Is what true?

No, I think he was joking.

Well, I guess I could go ask him.



"Uh, excuse me?"



"Uh, yes? But..."



WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!

("Caw!")

Rick? Rick, are you okay?

Ah fuck it!



Hi dad!



Daddy?


To be continued!

Welcome back to Let's Play Pokemon Emerald. When we last left off, Rick the bird was shot down, Chomperina the ugly bitch was archived in Someone's Computer by Kay-Zee and Flappyjack, who has started to like each other for some odd reason, and Bubbles finally went to say hello to her daddy!



Yep. Let's continue!
________



"Yes, it all went okay."
"Good... Good..."
"But we kind of wished you'd be there when we..."
"I understand, Bubbles dear, but as a trainer I have certain responsibilities that allows me to neglect my family!"
"Allows?"
"Forces me."
"You said 'allow'."
"No, I didn't. Anyway, I was terribly busy and just couldn't come by and..."
"With what?"
"Standing here, mostly, waiting for trainers that want to challenge me."
"Oh, sounds like hard work."
"Yes, yes. Well, anyway, Bubbles, what are you doing here?"



"Because I'm a girl, huh?"
"No, no, no! Because you wear those tight pants. Do they breathe, dear? You don't want any decay in your front tush."
"Um, I had some friends with me."



"Yes, them too..."



"No, she's going to be an even better trainer!"
"Uh, who are you?"
"I'm Kay-Zee, protector of the innocent."
"Right, I should have known."
"I protect Bubbles from the dangers lurking in the tall grass!"
"Um, yes."
"I slay the beasts of the netherworld!"
"Give it a rest, man."
"Oh, is this your pokemon, Bubbles?"
"Yes, his name is Flappyjack."
"And we're gonna be the best team ever!"



Suddenly, in walks some guy named Wally! He's the village idiot from a village of idiots. And apparently his hair is either brown or green.



"Hey, go find yourself a pokemon professor in distress to save, you damn leech!" :evil:



Wally is the very sick and delicate character of the game but we won't notice that at all, and frankly, we couldn't care even if we tried and just as soon as we help him catch a pokemon, he'll become a piss-poor excuse of a rival in the game. Anyway...


"I thought I would be lonely by myself, so I wanted to take a pokemon along. But, I've never caught a pokemon before. I don't know how..."
"Hm. I see..."
"Ooh, I don't like where this is going."
"You're right, let's leave immediately before..."
"Bubbles!"
"Ah!"



"Yes..."
"Go with Wally and help him catch a pokemon! Wally, I'm going to loan you my favorite pokemon."
"Oh, thanks, Mister Norman!"
"What? I always wanted to take Namor out for a walk but you always said no! No, Bubbles, I care about Namor too much to let anyone else handle him. No, Bubbles. No, Bubbles! And just like that, you hand him out to this guy?!"
"Um..."
"Oh come now, Bubbles, you don't need him anyway. Oh, and I want you to have my special tournament pokeball also. It helped me win sixteen world cups of pokemon catching!"
"WHAT?!"
"Oh come now, Bubbles."
"Thank you, Mister Norman!"
"OH HELL NO THAT AIN'T RIGHT!"
"Behave yourself, Bubbles."
"But, but... daaaad."
"Um, Mister Norman, I don't want to be..."
"Don't worry about it, Wally. And please, call me dad."
"OH HELL NAW!"
"This is excellent!"
"Break out the air guitars!"
"You ain't got any arms!"
"I don't need arms!"
"YEEEAAAAHH!!!!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU TWO!"
"Eek."
"Ooh."



___
Well? Will she? Find out in the exciting next installment of Let's Motherfucking Play Motherfucking Pokemon Motherfucking Emerald!

Coming tomorrow unless I'm dead or something. See you all later! :wink:

PS. I like comments.

How the fuck did I miss 2 updates?

Great job, BTW. This thread still delivers.

Suicidal said:

How the fuck did I miss 2 updates?

Click to expand...

Well, this thread tends to disappear in the fog of war.

Great job, BTW. This thread still delivers.

Click to expand...

It's kind of you to say that, Suicidal, but I think we both know the exact reason why you come to this thread.

Alright, we're back with another exciting episode of "Let's Read Dialogue!" When we last left off, Bubbles had to choose whether or not to help a boy named Wally catch a pokemon.

"Even though I hate Wally for coming between me and my father, dad would probably sell me to South American drugdealers if I refused."
"What a beautiful father-daughter relationship."
"You're so crazy, Kay-Zee!"



So Wally escorted Bubbles into the grassy area next to the town, hoping to find a pokemon! Kay-Zee and Flappyjack chose to stay behind because, frankly, someone had to find Rick the bird's corpse and bring it to the hospital. Yes, it's another exciting intermission!

But first let us observe YET ANOTHER POKEMON CATCHING TUTORIAL unfold!



"You better end that sentence with "don't they?" or "right, Bubbles?" or "that's what you told me, Bubbles" or I swear to Kay-Zee I'll leave you hanging from a tree. I know how to do that kind of stuff! Don't question me!"
"Er..."



"They certainly do!"
"Right. Well, let's, uh, let's have a go at it then."



It didn't take too long before...

"Whoa!"



"Alright, you dumbfuck, this is a Ralts. They can't do any damage at all. In fact, just throw that goddamn pokeball."
"Shouldn't I weaken it first with..."
"No, you stupid little shit."
"Uh, right... Well, here I go then."

And soon after...



"Yeah. A pervy little bastard."
"What?"
"You caught a MALE Ralts. Ralts's eventually evolve into something that looks like the dress Cher would have worn at the Oscars. You caught yourself a cross-dresser, Wally. Good job."
"Uh, well... in any case, let's get back to the gym..."

[intermission]

Rick the bird proved to be alive and there was much rejoicing.

[/intermission]



"Yes, oh my mom is waiting for me. Kthxbye."
"Ah, such a devoted youngster!"
"Meh."

And so Wally got out of the gym and into his mom's car, that took him all the way to Yadayada Town up in the mountains were he now spends his days relaxing in the hot springs together with a dozen barely toweled, rarely flat-chested girls. But do not worry, dear readers, for we shall encounter Wally at least one more time.



"Yes, dad, I want to battle you now!"
"No, you don't."
"Yes, I do!"
"No, you don't, Bubbles. You don't want to battle me."



"I... don't want to battle you."
"You want to head to Rustboro Town."
"I want to go to Rustboro Town."



"I shall kick Roxy's ass."
"And get her badge."
"And steal her badge and other personal belongings."



"Yes..."



"Yes..."
"Only once you have completed these objectives shall we battle, Bubbles."



"Now go. Go, Bubbles. Go."
"Yes, dad."



And so Bubbles gathered her companions and ventured forth...

Uh-oh! Watch out, Bubbles!



To be continued.