potatojohn
Arcane
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2012
- Messages
- 2,646
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a let's play of ArmA 2: Operation Arrowhead.
For those of you not familiar with this game, it's a heavily scripted, and very buggy military popamole.
To prove just how popamole it is, I'm going to play the entire game without firing a single shot, or acting tactically in any way (any deviations will be noted and celebrated).
Menu: No, I haven't turned off the menu background scene, the game just loaded a scene of complete darkness. Lovely.
We're beginning with mission 02. Why? Mission 00 and 01 are unskippable cutscenes. They're absolutely terrible, even more terrible than the game is usually, and won't be shown here.
We're going into hajiland.
The first objective is to capture the airport. Whatever. Unlike in OFP, ArmA 1, in ArmA 2 there's no need to ever look at the map or read the briefings because the campaign is so popamole.
We're in a helicopter. The campaign opens up with what is possible the most horrible voice acting imaginable. I'd record it and put it up on youtube but I'm too lazies.
LOTS OF BUTTONS. None of them do anything, because ArmA 2 is a serious simulator.
Funny fact: if you eject a bit over ground, and then go under the helicopter, it will
it will fly off with the rest of your team, never to return.
Lets try this again.
We are immediately "under attack". I just wait...
Do some scouting...
It's a good thing there are these chest-high walls everywhere or I could find myself in some danger!
First objective completed. Now they want my team to clear out some villages.
Team leader wants me to find a vehicle. Can't get in the plane ufortunately.
Can't get in the tanker either.
I find a usable UAZ. Unfortunately this breaks the AI somehow. Half my team remains at the airport while only brave leader and the medic move forward.
The situation is dire. I decide to do a couple of laps on the runway.
Hello TANK. I am UAZ. It's a good thing the AI is telepathic and knows I'm friendly or it might mistake me for an enemy!
Back with the other half of my team, the two seem to be doing alright on their own.
Finally the rest of the team unbugs and gets back in formation. Only to be slaughtered.
OH NO, 3 IS DOWN
FUCK, THEY GOT 5!
...
I'll just stand here next to where they got mowed down a second ago...
I alleviate my boredom somewhat by looting any weapons I find.
Blending in
First village is clear! On to the next one!
Dear leader fearlessly runs ahead and I follow, but I'm worried because the rest of the team is now almost half a click behind and not moving.
Objective on the right, leader is going left, rest of team idling a click behind us. The typical ArmA AI experience.
Finally the fuckers start moving. I fast-forward until they catch up.
We run onto the next popamole marker.
Mission complete! The village freed itself by the very act of us arriving there!
We suffered some pointless casualties, but at least my conscience is clear. I fired zero bullets in this mission and performed zero tactical (popamole) manouvers. Mostly I just bent down and looked sideways to make that hilarious stance.
Next up: we command some armor.
For those of you not familiar with this game, it's a heavily scripted, and very buggy military popamole.
To prove just how popamole it is, I'm going to play the entire game without firing a single shot, or acting tactically in any way (any deviations will be noted and celebrated).
Menu: No, I haven't turned off the menu background scene, the game just loaded a scene of complete darkness. Lovely.
We're beginning with mission 02. Why? Mission 00 and 01 are unskippable cutscenes. They're absolutely terrible, even more terrible than the game is usually, and won't be shown here.
We're going into hajiland.
The first objective is to capture the airport. Whatever. Unlike in OFP, ArmA 1, in ArmA 2 there's no need to ever look at the map or read the briefings because the campaign is so popamole.
We're in a helicopter. The campaign opens up with what is possible the most horrible voice acting imaginable. I'd record it and put it up on youtube but I'm too lazies.
LOTS OF BUTTONS. None of them do anything, because ArmA 2 is a serious simulator.
Funny fact: if you eject a bit over ground, and then go under the helicopter, it will
it will fly off with the rest of your team, never to return.
Lets try this again.
We are immediately "under attack". I just wait...
Do some scouting...
It's a good thing there are these chest-high walls everywhere or I could find myself in some danger!
First objective completed. Now they want my team to clear out some villages.
Team leader wants me to find a vehicle. Can't get in the plane ufortunately.
Can't get in the tanker either.
I find a usable UAZ. Unfortunately this breaks the AI somehow. Half my team remains at the airport while only brave leader and the medic move forward.
The situation is dire. I decide to do a couple of laps on the runway.
Hello TANK. I am UAZ. It's a good thing the AI is telepathic and knows I'm friendly or it might mistake me for an enemy!
Back with the other half of my team, the two seem to be doing alright on their own.
Finally the rest of the team unbugs and gets back in formation. Only to be slaughtered.
OH NO, 3 IS DOWN
FUCK, THEY GOT 5!
...
I'll just stand here next to where they got mowed down a second ago...
I alleviate my boredom somewhat by looting any weapons I find.
Blending in
First village is clear! On to the next one!
Dear leader fearlessly runs ahead and I follow, but I'm worried because the rest of the team is now almost half a click behind and not moving.
Objective on the right, leader is going left, rest of team idling a click behind us. The typical ArmA AI experience.
Finally the fuckers start moving. I fast-forward until they catch up.
We run onto the next popamole marker.
Mission complete! The village freed itself by the very act of us arriving there!
We suffered some pointless casualties, but at least my conscience is clear. I fired zero bullets in this mission and performed zero tactical (popamole) manouvers. Mostly I just bent down and looked sideways to make that hilarious stance.
Next up: we command some armor.
