Completed DOW: Soulstorm - CDS Battlereport

[RK47]

Part 1: The Queen's Guards

Onboard battleship Yamaku, orbiting the Planet Larp...

You are sure that this information is correct?

Yes, Captain Farkov. The Imperial Lord Governor Gumblert is attempting to conceal this knowledge but our scouts have confirmed the presence of the orks on the planet's surface. Katawa Legion is ready to deploy at your command.

Lord Governor Gumblert of the Queen's Guard? They will pay dearly for their arrogance. Deploy a forward base on the surface at once.

34 seconds after deployment...

Scouts deployed, we're securing points. Out.

01m 35s

Contact, Imperial Guardsmen.

Hold fire. Bring Lord Governor Gumblert in comms.

Why have you landed on my planet without permission, Captain Farkov?

Silence. You stand accused of treason against the Imperium of Man by concealing the presence of xenos in your planet! What say you?

We did no such thing! I have everything under control. Why, we've won two battles over them already.

Withdraw now, Governor...before it's too late. Cut the comms. Issue the scouts sniper rifles. It's time.

Taking the shot.

What the-

Elsewhere, imperial guards cower as the scouts snipe them from afar.

They lost point after points.

The Katawa Legion offers no mercy, Space Marine squads are summoned to the fore to finish the job.

The governor himself is forced to stand toe to toe against Captain Farkov in single combat.

To disastrous effect. With his guards dead, his facility is completely defenseless.

Wait...wait! I yield!

Destroy your base and leave. Never to return.

Very well. Execute code zero-zero-niner. We are leaving.

The Imperial Garrison went up in flames.

Another fine day for the Blind Maiden's Guards.

Elapsed Time: 5m 18s

We've contact with the xenos, they've constructed crude towers right outside our base! We are engaging!

Encountering heavy resistance. Odds of victory decreasing.

Fall back to our base perimeter. Instruct the servitors to upgrade the outer listening post to a turret configuration.

Elapsed Time 6m 18s

The retreating marines are met with support from the scouts equipped with snipers and an upgraded listening post.

The xenos are caught in the crossfire.

Most did not survive.

Elapsed time 7m 59s
The Katawa Legion attempts to disassemble the enemy's blockade.

Yet they failed sustaining some casualties. A squad of scouts paid the price.

Let the dead be remembered. While the disabled shall fight on.

It was only the beginning of the Great Losh Offensive

End of Part One.

 

[Azira]

 

[RK47]

Part 2 Orks Offensive

Do not falter. It is a mere setback. The disabled shall rise above their limits!

ET 08m 36s
Servitors commence construction of the Machine Cult

An Armory is ready to provide marines with advanced weaponry.

ET: 09m 43s

This is Shizune-Squad. We've captured a strategic point.

Are you detected?

Negative.

Outstanding, continue capturing. Avoid conflict. The Blind Maiden protects us all.

May her sight be true.

ET: 10m 02s

Enemy at the gates!

Fall back and return fire!

The orks did not shy from battle, breaking through the line of defense with ease.

Is this the end...? No! It's too early to submit. To the death! My legions! To arms!

Brothers stood side by side, firing their bolters without pause. Miraculously the xenos retreated. The Captain survived with heavy injuries.

I thank the Blind Maiden for her protection.

Milord, we have a problem! Wartruck! Coming from south! Aaaagh! FSzzzhhhh!

Southern perimeter is at risk. Squad, take up missile launchers and defend.

To arms! For the Blind Maiden!!!

ET 12m 48s
A landspeeder is deployed to recon the front.

Still too strong to breakthrough. We'll need vehicles and heavy weapons to punch past their blockade.

Shizune squad here. We've capped another point.

Keep it up.

Milord, shall we attack?

Only the fearful need to defend. Arm yourself! We will punch through them!

ET 13m 34s
The Katawa Legion sallies forth into battle!

Only to be met with EXTREMELY heavy resistance.

Use your grenades and pull back accordingly!

A Killa Kan! Heavy rockets! Ready your retreat!

ET: 14m 23s
Once again, the Katawa Legion retreats to the safety of their stronghold with the Ork horde in close pursuit. Cries and shouts of shitting on the dead marine chests roared through the planet's surface.

Captain, I am sorry to interrupt. Shizune squad here.

Speak.

We've captured a relic.

Well done. We're busy. Later! To arms!

ET: 15m 03s
Fire, bolters and grenades were deployed to buy time as they retreat to the safety of the upgraded listening posts and additional turret.

Men! Salvation will arrive in mere minutes. Hold your ground. We're no Queen's Guards. WHO ARE WE!

SERVANTS OF THE BLIND MAIDEN! ENABLER OF THE DISABLED!

Streaks of rocket jump jets flew overhead. What are they planning?

MORE FIREPOWER! KEEP FIRING!

Another streak of jump-jet and the rocket-boyz retreats, leaving their ground forces under heavy fire. Mystified, yet optimistic, Captain Farkov presses on encouragement.

I KNOW A MAN WHO LOST EVERYTHING TO THE BLIND MAIDEN!

HE DIED WITH A SMILE ON HIS FACE!

ET 15m 41s
The blast of jet roars the air once more. It was not the ork's.

BEHOLD! THE EMMIEST OF EMI! FEET OF IRON! HEART OF RIN!

DREADNAUGHT! ADVANCE!

The machine obeyed without question and slammed hard at the Killa Kan, disorienting it momentarily. It drew cheers from the marines as they pepper the offending hardware with rockets and bolter ammo.

Shizune Squad here.

I KNOW! WAHAHAHAHAHA~!

The Katawa Legion gains their machine god and the tide turns once more.

 

[pipka]

 

[RK47]

Chapter 03: The Bigger They Are...

ET: 18m 00s

Mine laying completed.

Excellent. Let them come, we will destroy them utterly.

Shizune here, capped and moving on.

ET 18m 31s

Incoming!

Hold your ground! EMI (Extreme Mechanised Infantry) will handle this!

A mess of blood, bullets and screams decorate the outer perimeter. Bodies flew in the air as the Dreadnaught expresses its fury to the fullest.

ET 18m 59s

Shizune. Capped and moving.

ET 20m 24s

Let's test their defenses, onwards!

Ah, still heavier than I thought...is there no end to their numbers?!

ET 23m 09s

Captain, reports from the jumpjet troopers revealed an enemy backdoor that is exposed!

We shall inflict butthurt on them when possible. I did not realize our base neighbours each other so closely.

ET 25m 08s

Another orkish assault repulsed. The Katawa Legion is holding strong, but they need a decisive force...the blessing of gods perhaps.

ET 25m 50s
In form of the recently arrived Predator perhaps...

And the orbital relay.

Captain, we've established uplink with the Yamaku's main cannon. They are ready to bring down the sky upon your signal.

Onward then!

ET 26m 53s

The orks soundly beaten on the initial advance thought nothing of it and retreated behind their Waaaghhh towers, licking their wounds and restoring their numbers. Captain Farkov lets off a small smile before sending off a signal.

Behold, Tear of the Goddess!

BROTHERS! A MAN ONCE THOUGHT HE COULD REACH THE BLIND MAIDEN! AND HE FELL AS HE ALMOST REACHES THE SUN! WHAT IS HIS NAME?!

HISAO! HISAO! HISAO! WE HATE YOU HISAO!

The orks cower before the blinding golden light. Destruction of their towers followed.

REST IN PIECES!

ONWARD! THE CRATERS ARE UGLY LIKE ONE'S BURNED FACE!

YET BENEATH IS A BEAUTIFUL SOUL! HANAKO! HANAKO! HANAKO!

ET: 27m 48s

Captain. Skyway squadron reported they are ready to start operation butthurt.

Tell them to wait for a servitor. We'll erect an offensive turret on their position before proceeding with the plan.

Your will be done.

Soon, xenos...you will be purg-what is that?

ET: 28m 35s
A loud rumble that shook the earth. The legion's eyes grew wide.

SQUIGGOTHHHHHHH! OPEN FIRE!

FALL BACK! FALL BACK!

And the tide turns once more...

 

[Teepo]

Always with the squigoths.

 

[RK47]

Chapter 04: Among Giants

ET: 29m 26s

All operations, Shizune, Skyway GO!

Affirmative!

A power plant exploded in the orks compound. Malta charges detonations and a flight of jets confirmed the deed.

Reactor destroyed, turrets up. That should get the enemy's attention.

Point captured. Making it count! Moving on! Shizune, out.

ET: 29m 51s

More firepower! More! BRING IT DOWN!

A thing of that size. Why is the warboss sending it alone?

I don't know and I don't care. I want it dead.

ET: 30m 02s

Captain! News from the Skyway team. The enemies are attacking their position!

So their main force is there...and the squiggoth is just a distraction? Tell them to-

A loud boom interrupted the conversation.

What the hell was that?

Stolen Leman-Russ tank just blasted the jet-team. They're bugging out! Your orders, Captain?

Rocket Squads, reinforce with me! The rest, kill this ugly bastard for me!

ET: 30m 44s

ARE YOU ALONE BROTHERS?

WE ARE FOREVER ALONE YET UNITED BY HATRED!

Rocket team here. In position. Firing!

Welcome to Yamaku...

Your therapy..

ET: 31m 10s

...has just begun!

Undaunted, the orks pick themselves off the floor and charge onward.

EVERY MORNING AT 5!

WE RUN, OUR HEARTS YIELDING!

YET THE STEEL OF FEET CALLS US ON! Secondaries, FIRE!

THEY ARE STILL ILL, BROTHERS!

GIVE THEM THE CURE!

ET: 32m 48s

Forward team encountering no resistance. Squiggoth neutralized. Over.

Capture the forward point to start the ball rolling...we need to alleviate the pressure on the back door.

Acknowledged. Engaging.

ET: 34m 36s

Outpost beta?

Stronghold drop pod successful, servitor commencing construction.

Good. Plan B. Prepare to deploy the Lady!

ET: 34m 49s

Yet another squiggoth assaults the front line.

And the orks footsoldiers pours continuously from the back.

GENTLEMEN. PREPARE YOUR DOSAGES!

TURN YOUR HEAD AND COUGH!

ET: 36m 45s
The initial blasts of the Yamaku bombardments missed the Warboss and his Leman Russ tanks at the back. The Legion's back line is collapsing!

FIGHT ON!

It is here where Captain Farkov is disabled in battle. The apothecaries quickly bring him back to the chapel barracks to be restored. All hope looks lost...as the armory went down in flames.

If not for the timely appearance of the Terminator Squad!

PLANET ESCAPE SUCCESSFUL. SHALL WE TEACH YOU, THE WAYS TO CHANGE THE NATURE OF MAN? HA HA HEU HUE HE.

The terminators raised their BRO-fists and beat the warboss into a bloody pulp.

ET: 37m 58s

We've bought us some time. Thank the gods. But we've lost most of our vehicles. Our predators are having difficulty surviving the continuous onslaught..yet...

SQUIGGOTHHH!!

A giant tumour at our backs...are they coming with all they've got now? ADMINISTER THE CURE!

ET: 38m 30s

Captain, how are you feeling?

I am fine. How soon?

Very.

Lilly...

 

[RK47]

Final Chapter: The Cure

ET: 39m 08s

The Land Raider has arrived. VICTORY APPROACHES!

The mad beast is brought down, and the mighty machine rode forth towards the northern roads.

Will we follow the Land Raider as well?

No..we need to fool the Warboss into thinking we're attacking from the south. Hopefully he'll take the bait.

ET: 40m 28s

A veteran Tormentor squad teleported to stare down a Leman-Russ tank barrel, drawing the whole Ork camp into their position.

BROS BEFORE HOS!

Thank you brothers. Lilly PITIES ALL OF YOU!

A beam of light tore through the sky.

Land Raider, ONWARD! WE SHALL DO THE SAME HERE!

ET: 42m 30sec

The stolen Leman-Russ cannot match the Land Raider.
At the same moment, the orks, convinced that the Tear of the Goddess has stopped for the moment, broke through ranks and marched onward with another Squiggoth.

This is it...

ET: 42m 48s

Land Raider from the north, accompanied by two squads of marines..

Squiggoth leads the horde from the south.

Andhaira's question is about to be answered.

WELCOME! PARDON US FOR THE MESS.

COMMENCE TREATMENT OF DISEASE!

The librarian's chant brings protection and fervour to the defenders as they descend upon the furious creature.

ET: 43m 28s
At the moment of engagement however, it seems the orks have pulled back the accompanying guards from the Squiggoth to stop the Land Raider!

Has our ruse failed?

Not yet...Lilly, activate Machine Spirit and hold your position! QUICKLY! REMOVE THIS BEAST AND ADVANCE!

The beast, slowly succumb to its wounds, as the Land raider fights a desperate battle against the bulk of the ork forces.

FASTER! FASTER!

LAND RAIDER! WE ARE NEARLY THERE! PULL BACK!

ET: 44m 29s

The hour of judgment approaches.

LILLY PITIES *ALL* OF YOU!

COMMENCE PURIFICATION!

Blackened buildings, cratered streets, the end is near.

Yet the orks pulled another Squiggoth from its pen.

DAMN THESE TUMOURS!

Captain, it's pulling away from engagement, it sought to destroy the Land Raider!

A fatal mistake. Destroying the raider means nothing. She can be rebuild. FINISH THE JOB!

ET: 47m 51s

The marines dumped another two fully cannoned Predators into the fray, finishing off the forward ork outpost. There is light at the end of this bloodbath.

VICTORY!

As the merciless Predators rained blast after blasts, the dreadnaughts roasts the last of the Ork's structures. The Katawa Legion celebrates their victory.

We have won a great victory this day. Let us return to the Yamaku.

The men assembled neatly in line, boarding the shuttles one by one. Captain Farkov is the last to leave, within his hand a fragile paper origami, half-burnt.

Till next time, my Blind Goddess.

He let go, letting the crane turn to ashes as the Hawks dust off from the forsaken planet.

The End

 

[Mrowak]

Man, DoW is such a supreme game. WhyTF they did what they did with DoW2 I don't know even.

Katawa Legions The true servants of God Emperor

 

[Darth Roxor]

I think Katawa Shoujo broke RK47

 

[Cowboy Moment]

 

[lightbane]

I don't even...

Do not falter. It is a mere setback. The disabled shall rise above their limits!

SERVANTS OF THE BLIND MAIDEN! ENABLER OF THE DISABLED!

I KNOW A MAN WHO LOST EVERYTHING TO THE BLIND MAIDEN!
HE DIED WITH A SMILE ON HIS FACE!

HISAO! HISAO! HISAO! WE HATE YOU HISAO!
PLANET ESCAPE SUCCESSFUL. SHALL WE TEACH YOU, THE WAYS TO CHANGE THE NATURE OF MAN? HA HA HEU HUE HE.

 

[GarfunkeL]

Was this an actual MP game?

 

[RK47]

well, yeah. Codex Steam multiplayer

 

[Teepo]

Spamming the ion beam is not cool.

 

[Azira]

Is spamming Squiggoths better? M:

 

[GarfunkeL]

well, yeah. Codex Steam multiplayer

I realized that the weird stuff in this LP came from that 34-page monstrosity you just finished so I took a look. Ran out of stamina on page 11. How the hell you managed to finish it, I'll never know. Even with all the additional jokes you inserted into it, the "game" looked boring as hell. Plus the protagonist came across as superbly annoying spineless loser. Urgh.

 

[The Vault Dweller]

I think Katawa Shoujo broke RK47

He's probably just going through a period of intense emotional over-load like many players have reported after playing KS.

Sincerely,
The Vault Dweller

 

[Mrowak]

I think Katawa Shoujo broke RK47

He's probably just going through a period of intense emotional over-load like many players have reported after playing KS.

Sincerely,
The Vault Dweller

Moar like emotional breakdown.

 

[RK47]

I think Katawa Shoujo broke RK47

He's probably just going through a period of intense emotional over-load like many players have reported after playing KS.

Sincerely,
The Vault Dweller

Moar like emotional breakdown.

Its V-Day man...and I'm like this in the office,

 

[Darth Roxor]

More like emotional engagement

 

[Ulminati]

ET: 30m 44s

ARE YOU ALONE BROTHERS?

WE ARE FOREVER ALONE YET UNITED BY HATRED!