In Progress Let's Play Civilization IV: Caveman 2 Cosmos, A Zionist Tale

[lightbane]

3, let's skip the tutorial section.

 

[Hellraiser]

2, The Ziocavemen must rise again.

 

[JagreenLern]

2, Allows for more Cleve jokes. Also, keep Boudicca and Saladin and take Germany as well.

 

[Damned Registrations]

Wish I could apply the fix and play this, but I'm running xp home edition. =/

I should probably just upgrade my computer, but I'd need to replace the motherboard to get new ram, and a new OS as well... blah. Giant pain in the ass to reassemble everything, nevermind installing a new OS. (And fuck if they aren't expensive. I'll probably end up torrenting a cracked version when I do.)

 

[Yeesh]

I was going to vote 3, but 2 feels more righter.

 

[Cassidy]

First update coming up.

Also I'll put lots of links to appropriatedly themed articles, and perhaps even to vault-co.blogspot ones related to the Jews.

=========================

Ancestors of the Masters of the World

Song for Ancestors

Seven puppets to master. Seven nations to corrupt and infiltrate. Seven peoples to exploit and parasite over.

In homage to a known Jew master of lulz, and because of a mythical tale of long forgotten ages, the first settlement of the ancient Jew tribe is named spacemoose. Right at its first years, eight people died of common causes like accidents, eaten by ferocious animals and so. Only 8? WEAK!!! Time passes under such primitive existence. The Jewish people were born in a cold continent in the far north of the world, and tundras were visible not so far away from their chosen region to inhabit.

Eventually contact is made with a foreign tribe, and it seems everybody truly love Jews. Nothing the occasional Jewgold in the right pockets can't fix, but enough reason for the savages with rocks at their hand to consider finding something better to use in defending their small tribe.

That is not how Jews do diplomacy! Meanwhile, a wanderer armed only with a big stick eventually rises among them to become a legend for his prowess in battle against the most dangerous and strong beasts. The name of this great Jewish man is:

By finally building their first real dwellings, a Golden Age is brought to Israel.

The legend grows into an even greater extent. First contact is established with that thing Cleve was talking about, if trying to kill each other can be called "first contact".

Someone needs to finish his Final Faggotry VIII LP.

Seriously.

After liberating a village of humans subjugated by the IQ > 180 titanium bones Neanderthals, the legendary Rhalle, the bane of wild animals and Neanderthals, is taught how to craft stone spear by the small tribe, and spreads such knowledge to all others as they are all together in their goals, just like in a Cabal.

Test subjects: that is what goyim are good for.. So that the chosen people may live better at their expense.

Irony over 9000 OLOLOLOL

Jew scienmajifics at their finest.

And then, reports came of thugs far away harrassing tamed animals. It was clear a secret war would eventually start.

Nevertheless, Jewish superiority is unquestionable. They march towards a more evolved and advanced civilization proper under a faster progress rate. Just like Europeans did compared to Native Americans, except the manboons are all behind and to ensure they are not aware of it, many of the deepest far advanced scientific knowledge of Jews is kept a secret under their cabal and hidden in highly obscure places, so that if necessary, they may unleash it against the goyim while giving the goyim the illusion they aren't centuries behind them in technology.

A great instructor settles in spacemoose, ensuring all its forces shall be much better trained.

Because those fertile lands will be more productive in food and Jewgold if stripped bare of their forests, all that is done is to relieve the nomads in the region and let the fires clean the forest.

They worshipped the trees. They beheaded goyim as sacrifice for POTATO GOD(I swear there is a "TEMPLE OF THE POTATO GOD" in this mod) putting the heads and entrails over the trees as decoration, and they all were innocent about it, about the implications, about the real deal they were worshipping, actually. A complex, if primitive religion was born. Soon they would get deeper into the darkest secrets because there is nothing more attractive to a Jew than discovering secrets that allow them to gain unrivaled power, no matter the cost in their own humanity to earn them.

Say what you want, but there is one thing right about the Druids: they know their tree hugging shit well.

As society evolves into tribalism rather than something almost bestial, they began to spread out. Their second settlement was called SlavemasterT in homage to a discrete Zionist who is most likely a very powerful conspirator. Who knows? Maybe he was the mastermind behind Momma Gang's HQ all along.

Long after the knowledge of all lands that are not overseas has been passed through oral tradition, Rhalle became stuck due to the British claiming all territories about the center of the island. He lived off the land, and more than once slaughtered British thugs thinking they could defeat such a legend.

From the other side of the sea, another civilization is spotted and a kind of contact is made with them through signals made with fire.They are currently unable to reach Israel and same on Israel. The ocean is an impossible barrier for the primitive man to overcome.

The banned one is given a homage too in the third settlement's name. In truth he was nothing but a Zionist agent to ridicule those who oppose Jews with his blatant stupidity, just like the more recent Zionist Agent who enjoys dickgirls pooping on his chest... seven times.

Israel is great and ahead of its time. Their only direct neighbors are a very easy target to infiltrate. So far everything is excellent.

An ancient art is mastered. It takes guts to try making acrobatics with a bull. Sometimes these same guts end spilling.

In the unknown southern continent, another strange contact through fire signaling. Nothing to bother much with.

They provoked Israel, and now it is payback time. Surely in the future the payback will be far more refined like inducing social and economic meltdowns and lobbying for shit laws like SOPA because Jews are just like that. Israel has grown and prospered during the stone age, but their people were soon to make a breakthrough.

With the development of cattle herding, their people were relying less and less on hunting and more on reliable and steadier sources of food. A new era began as nomadic life gave way to semi-nomadic life, and eventually to the ultimate standard of manboon. On the same aspect, where there was no guidance, only constantly shifting and unstable forms of local rule, Israel became a tribal chiefdom now, with a kind of central authority.

Is there a Jew that doesn't guard his secrets for filling his pockets more and more with great care?

To stop the British expansion to the west, Dis Bohemian Grove becomes the fourth city of the growing Israeli Empire. Settled next to a volcano that exhales more than lava and ashes, but that, according to the local folklore, is a source of nightmares, it will serve a very sinister purpose in the future, perhaps as a ground for making deals with powerful dark forces, to trade souls for power and wealth.

And thus the prehistoric age ends. The Zionist bid for world domination, on the other hand, is just beginning.

 

[Hellraiser]

The Elders will be most pleased....

 

[Hoodoo]

cool lp

 

[Yeesh]

http://www.theonion.com/video/overcome-stress-by-visualizing-it-as-a-greedy-hook,17828/

 

[Hellraiser]

http://www.theonion.com/video/overcome-stress-by-visualizing-it-as-a-greedy-hook,17828/

 

[Cassidy]

Growing tensions and strife

"According to the records of secret Jewish Zionism, Solomon and other Jewish learned men already, in 929BC, thought out a scheme in theory for a peaceful conquest of the whole universe by Zion.

"As history developed, this scheme was worked out in detail and completed by men who were subsequently initiated in this question. These learned men decided by peaceful means to conquer the world for Zion with the slyness of the Symbolic Snake, whose head was to represent those who have been initiated into the plans of the Jewish administration, and the body of the Snake to represent the Jewish people—the administration was always kept secret, EVEN FROM THE JEWISH NATION ITSELF. As this Snake penetrated into the hearts of the nations which it encountered. it undermined and devoured all the non-Jewish power of these States. It is foretold that the Snake has still to finish its work, strictly adhering to the designed plan, until the course which it has to run is closed by the return of its head to Zion and until, by this means, the Snake has completed its round of Europe and has encircled it—and until, by dint of enchaining Europe, it has encompassed the whole world. This it is to accomplish by using every endeavor to subdue the other countries by an ECONOMICAL CONQUEST.

"The return of the head of the Snake to Zion can only be accomplished after the power of all the Sovereigns of Europe has been laid low, that is to say, when by means of economic crises and wholesale destruction effected everywhere, there shall have been brought about a spiritual demoralization and a moral corruption, chiefly with the assistance of Jewish women masquerading as French, Italians, etc.. These are the surest spreaders of licentiousness into the lives of the leading men at the heads of nations." - Protocols of the Elders of Zion.

To Jerusalem

Do I need to make any further comment?

To increase the availability of food for its people, due to its location in a particularly inhospitable and cold region of the world, a herd of water buffalos is established around the town.

At last! The first source of JEWGOLD is found! Workers will rapidly build a path to those riches and get to begin hoarding it.

Society grows in complexity. An age of great prophets begin, apparently a decentralized, spontaneous dawn, but in truth, a carefully plotted scheme of the Elders of Zion.

Computing Device? Now that is perfectly Jewish Scienmajifics!!!

Jew science begins as soon another settlement will be established. The primitive Chiefdom is unable to hold together more than six cities, however, and thus an evolution in the government structure is needed before further expansion.

In one of the most frozen regions of the arctic, the Jews begin to tame the inhospitable as they are guided by an intuition something primal of eons ago and extremely powerful lies buried beneath the eternal ice. And power and gold to Jews are like honey to bees flying vertically and un Oso.

However, the true purpose of the Stonehenge will be forever a mystery to those outside the secretive Elders of Zion.

"4. Classicism as also any form of study of ancient history, in which there are more bad than good examples, we shall replace with the study of the program of the future. We shall erase from the memory of men all facts of previous centuries which are undesirable to us, and leave only those which depict all the errors of the government of the GOYIM. The study of practical life, of the obligations of order, of the relations of people one to another, of avoiding bad and selfish examples, which spread the infection of evil, and similar questions of an educative nature, will stand in the forefront of the teaching program, which will be drawn up on a separate plan for each calling or state of life, in no wise generalizing the teaching. This treatment of the question has special importance." - The Protocols.

Delenda est Carthago.

In spite of its hostile environment, there is a queer abundance of wild animals near Schlosader Base and even the tales of wanderers that some places are hotter than they should be, as if something deep underground was emanating heat.

Even without the involvement of the Zionist conspiracy, it seems the neighbors are having a hard time. If only they had the technology required to start infiltrating the British for a covert subjugation, but all in its due time, for time is the only thing that separates the chosen race from world domination.

Bees flying vertically :che:

The greatest power is the one which others don't even know what they don't know about it.

Jewgold is aplenty for emergencies like this. Unlike politicians vermin cannot be bribed by Jewgold, unfortunately, but that is pretty much the only difference between them.

After the construction of the mysterious Statues, SlavemasterT becomes one of the major production centers of the growing Jewish civilization. As for how it is possible to get materials from the sea, like the way those statues were built,that is a great secret, but those who spend their lives as fishermen tend to not remain sane for long in this city since those statues were made.

"3. In order to distract people who may be too troublesome from discussions of questions of the political we are now putting forward what we allege to be new questions of the political, namely, questions of industry. In this sphere let them discuss themselves silly! The masses are agreed to remain inactive, to take a rest from what they suppose to be political (which we trained them to in order to use them as a means of combating the GOY governments) only on condition of being found new employments, in which we are prescribing them something that looks like the same political object. In order that the masses themselves may not guess what they are about WE FURTHER DISTRACT THEM WITH AMUSEMENTS, GAMES, PASTIMES, PASSIONS, PEOPLE'S PALACES .... SOON WE SHALL BEGIN THROUGH THE PRESS TO PROPOSE COMPETITIONS IN ART, IN SPORT IN ALL KINDS: these interests will finally distract their minds from questions in which we should find ourselves compelled to oppose them. Growing more and more unaccustomed to reflect and form any opinions of their own, people will begin to talk in the same tone as we because we alone shall be offering them new directions for thought ... of course through such persons as will not be suspected of solidarity with us." - Protocol #13

:patriot:

The gods signal their approval as, in what obviously was no coincidence, a forest grew in Bohemian Grove at the same moment Druidism was adopted as an official state religion. Of course, the times of innocence shall wane, and man ever inquisitive will see there is more beneath the veil of tree hugging. It will be on this moment the right time to separate between the true wise and those who don't even know what they don't know following a public religion while their masters worship private dark gods.

Great farms are built around the growing city of spacemoose, while rumors are heard on how the Brits are funnily worshipping their ruler as a living goddess, or is it a god? Who knows? But some shit happens: some bastard built the Great Baths of Mojen-whatever first. Let them have it. It won't interefere with the world domination plans.

The last of Neanderthals was a great prophet. At first he preaches rebellion against the vile Jewish overlords, but nobody is impossible to be co-opted by their grand and thousand-years old cabal. Thus he found the holiest monument of Druidism instead of becoming a potential threat to the Elders, although even them failed to erase from history his prophecies of ITZ.

As part of the long-term plan of infiltrating and secretly conquering the world, six missionaries shall march over six hundred miles to convert six English cities to the current state religion the Zionists find convenient in their schemes. That number is 666: the number of the Beast.

But first, certain scum is cleared out before they could pose a threat to the missionaries.

Is he mad? Can such ruler be so naive to hope a Jew would ever give something to a goyim for FREE, when Jews are such scrooges they don't even give each other anything for free?

Damn, once again someone else manages to build the pyramids first. But no big deal: Jews are Jews. Even in the most unlikely circumstances they shall emerge as masters of the world.

The elders didn't realize that, by worshipping their ruler as a living god, the Brits were impervious to the spread of other faiths, for now. Another cockblock that will delay their plans of ruling England. Science has progressed greatly both in peace and war. Agriculture was developed, fermentation allowed wine to flow freely and distract the masses from the truth, metallurgy is developing and soon the Iron Age shall begin, and most important of all, now everything was set for Israel to set forth from its still primitive tribal state.

Because obviously a puppet dictator is easier for the Elders to control than a bunch of tribal chiefs, while the stratification of society will surely put the goyim in their place. Even with its disadvantages, the fact a tribal society grows in population much, much slower is a much greater disadvantage. Thus Israel is ready to transition into a real civilization, getting rid of all its tribal trappings, at last! Unfortunately this transition will take a long time. Fortunately it will allow new cities to be founded without a risk to the stability of the empire.

Looks like some countries undergoing similar changes in their society are having problems, because they don't have a band of conspirators ensuring everything will go smoothly.

Elizabeth the possible tranny offers a deal of open borders. Nevermind its implication for it will increase trade, and more trade means more Jewgold, and when lots of Jewgold are envisioned even Jews will leave common sense at the door.

Just like a certain redhead to whom nomask7 sent a PM asking to be pooped on the chest, and where this redhead deceitfully used such PM to publically humiliate him, once again a deceiving potentially tranny redhead gets the best of him!



Enough shadowy playing. It is obvious this time the Jews will have to pull their conquest plan in the explicit and bloody way.

And as if such suprise buttsex wasn't enough bad news, a Neanderthal minority is riling up in Jerusalem as central government is still not established.

Fortunately, order was established just in time to avoid outright rebellion, but while the internal threat to Jerusalem was neutralized, the enemy is already at the walls! The first siege of Jerusalem has begun. The only thing in favor of Zion is their technological superiority for besides explorers that cannot attack, all England has are javelineers and sling throwers while Israel counts with archers and spearmen. Will the Kotel of Jerusalem hold the enemy at bay?

 

[Yeesh]

Oh dear. Shit's starting to get real.

 

[Hellraiser]

Looks like the tranny wants to take a literal dump on nomask's israel.

 

[Cassidy]

The Kotel of Jerusalem shall stand strong!

"And every one that is born, the flesh of whose foreskin is not circumcised on the eighth day, belongs not to the children of the covenant which the Lord made with Abraham, but to the children of destruction; nor is there, moreover, any sign on him that he is the Lord's, but (he is destined) to be destroyed and slain from the earth, and to be rooted out of the earth, for he has broken the covenant of the Lord our God." - Book of Jubilees, Chapter 15, 26:27



Iced Earth: Epilogue

Gradually all cities of Israel prepare for war, while the English realize too late their mistake. All these uncontrollable nations go against the aspirations of the mythical Zion to rule the world from the shadows as part of a greater and mysterious plan.

The worst of goyim scum sneaks behind the front lines in an attempt to take over spacemoose, but prove to be no match for the superiorly trained and equipped spearmen defending the growing city. The development of the wheel, still ongoing, will also greatly speed up the deployment of all forces from farthest towns to the battlefield.

The enemy forces cowardly refuse to attack Jerusalem directly, instead attempting to cause permanent economic damage through looting and pillaging of the countryside, which proves itself as a mostly ineffective strategy so far. Were they so mentally handicapped they couldn't gauge how much of a gigantic army they needed to raise before such a declaration and that their entire technology is far outdated compared to superior Jewish scienmajifics.

However, their explorers are well-equipped, and thus the Elders bide their time. Eventually with enough sacrifice not only their pitiful invasion will be crushed but England shall become a Zionist puppet as it should be.(The link is courtesy of the inane Djinn)

The dregs of the goyim continue trying, but they all fail to achieve any significant damage to the wealth of Israel. It is easier to steal a fang from a live and conscious lion than to steal gold from a Jew.

Although Jerusalem is holding out well against outside enemies, inside remnants of the Neanderthal keep threatening the city, but due to the massive force gathered to defend the city, they are quickly suppressed. Meanwhile, Rhalle, a great Zionist hero now better equipped to face the threats ahead launches an attack against primitive warriors protecting one of the goyim servants.

He performs less than willing his final duty in service to the Zionist overlords. His death was funny though: when he was about to kill the last fleeing soldier of the British primates he, despite being barely wounded, instantly collapsed to the ground and stopped breathing. No big deal, definitively death by natural causes like there was nothing about the grassy knoll in the death of that bothersome puppet called Kennedy in the far future, rather than because both knew too much and were thus a liability if they remained alive.

Neanderthals continue posing problems, but no significant threat. The enemy continues to just wait by the walls instead of attacking, but strangely does not try to surround the city proper for a siege. Probably because most of them are extremely primitive warriors that would stand no chance holding on their own against superbly trained archers.

The enemy legion then moves to the Quarry. Big mistake... for them. Because they were just asking to be encircled and it's doubtful the English have means of travelling through the cold northern coast. However, while the situation in the front line was growing increasingly positive and the English were slowly showing themselves unable to win this war as the Israel archers became Legion...

The Elders of Zion, when seeing someone else was trying to compete with them in deception by sending a force against the barely defended towns behind the battlefields against England, issued a clear order:

"CARTHAGO DELENDA EST!

No mercy to goyim! They are the children of destruction and their extermination is a divine will!"

Against all odds, the brave archers in the city of SlavemasterT held their own and stopped the city from being conquered.

The English invasion force is backed into a corner, but to defeat them truly overwhelming numbers and sacrifices will be required, and thus the small army guarding the quarry of Jerusalem from where its glorious Kotel was built patiently awaits for more reinforcements.

To become the masters of the world, mere subtleness is not enough and they still don't have Kwanstain to use as their military puppet. Therefore they must become a power by themselves through Jewscience.

The enemy shifts their focus to pillaging and destroying buildings in the countryside instead of a direct assault on SlavemasterT, like what happened in Jerusalem and spelled the now inevitable doom of the English goyim assaulters. Except they were exposing themselves to a far more masterful end that will require far less sacrifices for victory through their advance deep in Israeli territory.

Although they suffered massive casualties to achieve their victory, nevertheless the English invaders were utterly wiped out, and now the veterans of the battle and newly drafted Jews march to Hastings to put those worthy only of being Zionist lapdogs in their place as Zionist lapdogs.

Masterfully, the Israeli forces completely surrounded the Carthagian invaders, giving to their odds of utterly slaughtering them a great boon. But after one failed initial attack, they decided to also bide their time as reinforcements were coming to finish the job.

Veteran archers eliminate more isolated enemy forces at the English battlefields Once again Jewish supremacy reigns.

For no matter the cost, which hopefully will be one day paid by sheeple manboon goyim serving their governments which are nothing but lapdogs to their Zionist overlords rather than through the blood of the chosen race,

ISRAEL PREVAILS! The entire meek Carthagian invasion was wiped out. All of them killed without mercy for that is the fate of all goyim.

In honor to an established Zionist hero, the city that shall give to Israel access to the valuable copper is named Rhalle. Another settlement over the coldest corners of Earth that may hid mysterious beneath the ground, mysteries decent people shouldn't worry much about.

Meanwhile the forces of Israel are fully assembled to take over Hastings. Battering rams quickly tear apart their meager defenses, opening the way for the Jewish legions to subjugate the uppity goyim. Veteran archers can rapidly fire against their primitive foes before they can even react, let alone get in range with their primitive weaponry.

This is the beginning of the end for England! Their time as an independent nation both publically and secretly is coming to and end as is coming to an end the time there was no central authority ruling the entire world from the shadows!

A NEW WORLD ORDER SHALL BE ESTABLISHED THROUGH WAR, SUBJUGATION AND THOUSAND-YEAR CONSPIRACIES!!!

 

[Merkwürdigliebe]

Well this certainly is interesting.

 

[Hellraiser]

Too bad you don't have any ragheads nearby. They could use some smiting.

 

[Azira]

I approve of this LP.

 

[Yeesh]

Mmmm, sedentary lifestyle.

 

[JagreenLern]

Mmmm, sedentary lifestyle.

Goes well with Fermentation and Herbalism

 

[Cassidy]

There were already enough updates in this page.

No more until page 3

 

[Yeesh]

But I never learned how to bump.

 

[CappenVarra]

bump

 

[JoKa]

bump bump bump

 

[Azira]

!pmuB

 

[Azira]