Dominions 4 pbem: The Chronicles of Bogarus

[Grimwulf]

Unfortunately the image following this comment is broken for me

That's strange. Although imgur was acting funny at the day I posted this update. Re-uploaded the image you mentioned, hope it works now. If not, I have no idea what to do with it.

 

[Matalarata]

hope it works

It does, thanks!

 

[Grimwulf]

 

[Grimwulf]

Azira, we are going to need a bigger tissue next time. Much text has to be printed, and remain readable without magnifying glass. Here is a qwest for you: use your connections to find more skin.

Edit: Actually, it is your job as an Editor in Chief to make this newsflesh gud. Be critical, suggest improvements - hell, you can even post your own questions for next interviews. In the thread or in my inbox - whatever suits you better. Most of the players seem to be sociable enough to give interviews.

I'll be honest. The current state of your newsflesh is rather bad.

Update is coming tomorrow, men. Blame Lizzurd.

 

[Lizzurd]

Update is coming tomorrow, men. Blame Lizzurd.

May i blame myself for this?

 

[Azira]

More skin you point out? Yes. The 'flesh is a bit lacking of late..
And where could I conceivably get more skin? I will have to work on my connections.

I could, very politely, approach Rasputin with an inquiry, whether our Goddess' rumored habits could be used to supply more flesh.
As far as my understanding of the matter is, she only needs what is inside of the skin, so I could use what parts are left over.

If it were at all possible, an article on our Goddess and ruler would be a nice centerpiece for our next Tissue. Perhaps in conjunction with this, the question of skin supply could be broken, outside of record?

As to the newsflesh itself, we need more focus on what makes Bogarus such a wonderful nation. An interview with our Keeper of the Seal would be appreciated, though I understand if he does not have the time for it. An interview with Ambassador Boris would also be much appreciated.
We could invite people (the volounteers in this thread) to submit articles of their own, for review before printing. (Go ahead, PM them to me, I'll provide feedback and editing, and your stuff will then be further submitted to Grimgravy for publishing).
And possibly some sort of contest in the flesh. "Spot the sinner" possibly? "connect the dots" on the leper?
Cooking recipes from Mama Bogus?

The answers from Tul Duru where underwhelming. Predictable even. Not much surprising there. Maybe we should try to interview another foreigner? Possibly later. For now, I'd rather focus on internal matters.

 

[Grimwulf]

CHAPTER 15

​

The guards were screaming in the courtyard so loud, even Gwydon and Artemy heard it in the dungeon. Gwydon had to interrupt the tortures.

Did you hear that?

They were shouting something like “…DER ATTACK!”

We are under attack..? Impossible. The barbarians are nowhere near the Keep.

Artemy was too weak to reply. His entire body was in pain.

The screams became quieter; Gwydon heard footsteps. Somebody was approaching. The air suddenly became very cold.

Proklyatie. Nechistaya sila.

Mumbling Bogaslavic swears, Gwydon drew his sword and stepped back from the door. It was sturdy and locked tight. Nothing could possibly get inside the torture chamber without Gwydon’s permission. Or so he thought until hearing a woman’s voice behind his back.

You have gone too far, mortal.

Grand Prince turned around and saw Elizabeth Bathory. It wasn’t hard to recognize her after all the paintings he saw, and descriptions of her beauty that he read in history books. She was wearing a light armour set above red-and-white dress, and wielding swords in both hands. The blades were covered in fresh blood.

Gwydon attempted to attack her with a swing, but Elizabeth sliced his wrist clean off before he could finish the move. Gwydon’s scream filled the chamber.

Tortured this holy man. Faithful Hero of your Tsardom.

Black Bear wasn’t the one to give up so soon. He grabbed a dagger from his belt with remaining hand, and attempted a thrust. Elizabeth dodged it without any effort, then chopped his left hand with the same swiftness as before. Blood was pouring all over the chamber. Crying Gwydon fell on his knees.

Imprisoned my Champion. Yet another Hero of Bogarus.

Blood started to flow slowly out of his eyes, ears, nose and mouth. Grand Prince was convulsing in agony.

You waited for me to come. Here I am.

Batushka Artemy watched this scene with open mouth, unable to make a sound.

Y… khhrhhr… ou’ll nev… getout…of… khhrere

She didn’t listen, being busy with releasing Artemy from chains. First thing he did after that is taking the same hatchet that Gwydon used to cut his fingers and drowned it in his torturer’s neck. And again. And again. Old Eparch didn’t stop until Black Bear’s body was basically cut in two.

Several minutes later, Elizabeth Bathory entered the castle courtyard from the dungeon, accompanied by weakened Artemy and Sviatoslav. Tsar’s men were already waiting for them. Alexander Nevsky himself was standing on the castle wall, from where he could look over the courtyard.

It’s over, Elizabeth! I won’t let you torment my homeland any longer!

How dare you confront the Goddess, dog?

There are too many of them.

You don’t stand a chance. Prepare to die! ARCHERS!

A line of archers stepped ahead and drew their bows. Sviatoslav stood in front of Elizabeth, trying to cover her from what is to come.

I shall distract them, Countess. Save yourself.

No need for that.

These archers were intended as reinforcements for Janvar’s voisko. They were gathered among Khlysty villages and led by Grimgravy.

READY!

They pulled the string. Artemy was noticeably afraid; Sviatoslav looked at Grimgravy with hatred; and only Elizabeth was slightly smiling.

AIM!

Suddenly, the archers turned around, aiming for the castle guard at almost point-blank range. The latter didn’t have the time to react in any way.

FIRE!!!

Almost every single arrow connected. The castle guards were falling, some of them attacked the archers, ohers were too confused and disoriented to act. Everything went to chaos.

Follow me!

Covered by Grimgravy’s diversion, the trio managed to escape from the castle, fighting their way through. Grimgravy followed with what was left of his archers – most of them died after engaging in melee. But since Artemy and Sviatoslav were too weak to move fast, the castle guards were approaching the escaping group quickly. The battle outside of Ivory Keep walls was inevitable.

Spoiler

Despite the orders, one of the archers simply refused to stay behind.

Spoiler

Artemy came back to his senses quickly.

Spoiler

When the enemies came close, Elizabeth used illusions to deceive them before attacking.

Spoiler

The air became still as the castle guards began to realize their doom.

Spoiler

And then Elizabeth drew her swords.

Spoiler

Her swings were almost too fast to notice with a human eye. The castle guards attempted to surround her, but with every moment several of them were falling dead. Some lost their heads; the bodies of others were cut in two. She easily sliced through armour and shileds, while nobody was able to do so much as scratch her. After a short while, it was over. The castle guards of Ivory Keep were all dead.

Spoiler

We must go, Countess! Nevsky still has elite personal guardians, and more reinforcements rush to his aid as we speak!

Go to the province of Krator, all of you. I will follow soon.

As they ran westwards, she casted one final glance at the castle. Alexander Nevsky was still standing atop of its walls, looking at Elizabeth with loathing. Someone else was standing behind his back, but it was impossible to see clearly who was it.

* * *

​

Iyul took his time before accepting Rasputin’s invitation. He roamed the countryside along with Topo and other loyal men for several days, but when he finally came to the Royal Palace, he witnessed a strange scene right in the entry hallway. Several men, obviously of high standing nobility and traders, were begging something from a group of Startsy. As Iyul tried to figure what is it all about, Katrina sneaked on him from the back.

If it isn’t my beloved Knyaz.

Katrina, good to see you! What’s going on here?

Ah, you’ve noticed already? Now the Startsy is the new Royal Court. They have all the political power in their hands. Laws, taxes, rules and regulations, military decisions, even diplomatic ones. I report everything to Rasputin now. He still keeps our dear Ambassador around, but Boris doesn’t have any freedom of making decisions from now on. Much has changed since you last visited me, honey.

Nothing is stable in this world, it seems. Except for my hair color.

It’s perfect as always, my Knyaz. Boris asked me to find you before you speak to Rasputin. Let me take you to Ambassador’s parlor.

A few minutes later, Iyul and Katrina entered the modest room where Boris spent most of his past days. He was sitting on a chair, holding latest "Pureblooded Herald" Tissue in his hands.

Iyul.

Boris.

They shaked hands.

I’ll cut to the chase, because we don’t have much time. The situation is dire. As you can see, Caul Shivers failed to complete his mission, or so he says.

To be fair, it was rather hard to set that trap for Elizabeth. Caul’s report was reasonable.

Doesn’t matter. It was our only chance. Now she is roaming the Tsardom free, seizing more power each day. She has to be stopped somehow.

Let us hope she dies during the war with barbarians, shall we? Jagreen Lern sent me a letter from Trollhome the other day. Her Dominion is weak in those parts.

Why would she attack T’ien Ch’i personally? My brother is currently in Rimtooth Pass, commanding a large voisko of both Nevsky’s and Mondblut’s men. I was considering joining him, actually. For a battle or two, at least. Watching those barbarians madmen going suicidal on us is always a pleasure.

I don’t think that Janvar will be happy to see you after Morassia.

Morassia, Morassia, Morassia. Say “Morassia” again, Boris, I dare you.

Sweethearts, I hate to interrupt, but we have business to discuss.

Right. Despite Caul’s failure, our group managed to stay in shadows so far. But since you and some other members voted against making decisions, I never attempted negotiations with Midgard or Ulm about vassalage.

Good thing you didn’t, Ambassador. You would lie in the same grave with Alexej right now.

Not necessarily. We could ask for Midgard’s aid in disposing of Bathory. Lure her in an ambush, for instance.

From what I’ve seen, it won’t be that simple. She isn’t stupid and more than capable in combat. She will be a problem for our plans, along with Rasputin.

Speaking of Rasputin. Any idea what does he want from me?

I have no clue.

Before you go visit him, I want you to know that we must lay low, and wait for a proper opportunity to act. No more gatherings for now, and no discussions about further steps. Katrina will contact you when the time comes.

Fine. Where can I find Rasputin?

In his private room upstairs. I’ll take you there.

See you later, Boris.

Iyul. Wait.

Knyaz stopped at the door.

Whatever he is going to propose, don’t have any illusions about him, Elizabeth or our current state of affairs. Rasputin simply wants to use you. Elizabeth doesn’t even care about the likes of you. And Bogarus has no chance to survive on its own, not after the eastern failure. We have already lost our lands, Knyaz – Atlantis and Midgard will fight for them now.

Spoiler

The only thing we can do now is to swear allegiance, and try to survive the events to come.

Knyaz Iyul nodded and left. Why does taking sides have to be so difficult? Katrina tried to cheer him up on their way to Rasputin.

I envy you, dear Knyaz. Everybody loves you and trusts you. Sviatoslav, Artemy, Boris, Jagreen Lern, and now even Rasputin. And the people, of course! The whole Tsardom praises you as a hero. As THE Hero. What is your secret method?

A bit of this, and a bit of that. First you have to piss off a fat Eparch and obtain a fabulous-looking hair.

Katrina chuckled, but Iyul was looking sad.

Then you slay your own kin by the order of the Patriarch. And that’s it. Consider yourself a hero.

They entered Rasputin’s room and saw Azira discussing something with Grigori.

Elizabeth’s habits? What are you talking about?

As far as my understanding of the matter is, she only needs what is inside of the skin, so I could use what parts are left over. The 'flesh is a bit lacking of late. I can't publish new Tissues like that, and you saw how the previous one looks like – I could barely fit all the text into those little scraps I receive.

Your “understanding” of the matter is wrong. Elizabeth doesn’t eat children, Azira, and even if she did – such low amounts of skin wouldn’t be nearly enough to publish your newsflesh worldwide.

But where does all that blood come from?

You can buy slaves on the Bazar, but it isn’t cheap. The Hall of Elders has its own source of supplies. Although I wouldn’t recommend you using it.

Azira didn’t ask why, but his eyes were speaking for himself. Rasputin sighed.

Mondblut can provide you with skin, but he will ask a high price for it. Even worse, a favor.

Spoiler

mondblut is free to ask whatever he wants, of course.

I suggest you to wait until the Tserkov inaugurates the new Patriarch, and discuss this matter with him – there never was a shortage of sinners in Bogarus. Alternatively, wait for Elizabeth to wipe out T’ien Ch’i and enslave the barbarians. Their sickly yellow skin is not as thick and pleasant for the touch as Bogarusian, but at least you’ll have no shortage of it.

Spoiler

Azira, to publish next Tissue you’ll have to find a large amount of skin somewhere. It’s not urgent, and you can wait for proper opportunity to arrive, like speaking with the next Patriarch or waiting for Bogarus to claim the city of T’ien Ch’i. Alternatively, you can talk it over with mondblut here in the thread or in private – suit yourself. Or come out with your own solution, but remember – each Tissue is published worldwide (10 different nations, 145 provinces). You’ll need a lot of skin, blood slaves won't satisfy the need. Bogarusian practice of blood magic outside of Khlysty movement is very modest. Yet.

I understand, Keeper. You have other visitors, so I won’t take any more of your time.

Azira shaked Iyul’s hand on his way outside and smiled to Katrina. She blushed. Either Azira still has some powder within, or it was just his imagination.

You took your sweet time, Knyaz.

Hero business, Gospodin Rasputin. Doing noble deeds, righting wrongs, that sort of stuff. Came here as soon as I could.

Psst. You should call him Keeper now, not Gospodin.

Right. Did you want to see me, Keeper?

Yes, I did.

Rasputin made a long pause, examining Iyul. Evaluating him.

You are the hero of our people, Knyaz. No other man alive receives so much love in the Tsardom. Not even the Prophet.

Except for Eliz… oh, you mean mortal men. I see.

There is an annoying problem that has to be dealt with, and I found a simple solution. The Countess approved of it already.

Fill me in.

As soon as Katrina leaves.

The Royal Spy didn’t try to hide her surprise, but neither did she argue. She left the room and closed the door, leaving the men alone.

We proclaimed Elizabeth Bathory as the Queen, although we don’t even have the time for a proper ceremony. Most importantly, she has much more urgent matters than dealing with Tsardom’s affairs. This little conflict with T'ien Ch'i barbarians is nothing compared to the events to come. The world will be engulfed in devastating wars, Knyaz.

I see. Your famous visions.

One doesn’t need a vision to see it now. Have you been paying any attention to what happens outside of this Tsardom?

I’ve been busy dealing with horse rapers.

Atlantis attacked Midgard. Midgard is about to start a war with Ulm. Ulm is likely to invade us, had they the opportunity to do so. The God of Pythium saves the famous Centurion Vergilius from the brink of death. Somewhere on the other side of the world, Pangaea worships a Dragon god, buying slaves from other nations for blood sacrifices.

Dragon? Come on.

Insolent mraz, do you take me for a blabbering idiot spreading rumors? Everything I said is confirmed information.

Aaaall right. I don’t like where this is going, but if you want to ask me to go slay a Dragon…

Let the Countess bother about Dragons and other threats. As long as she is with us, Bogarus has nothing to worry about. But even she cannot deal with such large-scale problems while writing letters and developing local laws at the same time. Somebody has to carry this burden for her.

And thus she made you the Keeper of the Seal. Great! Congratulations! I still don’t understand what am I doing here.

That’s because you talk too much, Knyaz. You should listen to people instead. As the Keeper of the Seal, I have the power to approve or disapprove any royal decision. My signature makes laws, but somebody else has to take the responsibility. Not every Edict will be welcomed among the people, and I cannot use Elizabeth’s name too often. It will affect her popularity, interfere with Azira’s work. Some people might even convert to other religions. For those peasants, Elizabeth Bathory must be a Goddess, not a Queen.

Then use your own name.

Being a Starets and a member of the Hall of the Elders, I can’t hold any official posts or titles. Keeper of the Seal is more of a honorable duty than a post. A man who guards the Seal. I don’t have any official political authority. And of course, I cannot issue Edicts by myself.

So you need a pretty face to take all the blame?

With your kind of popularity among the people, any law will be accepted, any decision will be received with understanding. Use your charisma and reputation and obey my every order. This is all what I need you to do.

What do I get from it?

What kind of question is it? What I offer you is a reward by itself.

An awkward pause has overtaken the flow of this conversation. Iyul’s face changed from “cool and indifferent” to genuinely confused.

Just what exactly are you offering, Rasputin?

I offer you the Tron of Bogarus. Are you willing to be crowned as Tsar?

Spoiler

Joined on the 4th of July , what a great chance! OR IS IT?


1. Why would anybody in my position even think of other options? YES, FUCK YES, GIVE ME THAT CROWN!

2. On the other hand, he said I’ll have to obey him. So it’ll probably be impossible not to, with Elizabeth Bathory watching and all that. Besides, what if somebody sells me out? I am in this group of conspirators, after all. No, I’ll have to politely decline this offer.


The basic choice is “yes” or “no”, but your current position is very complicated, so you can suggest your own options and lines of behavior. For instance, you can try to act first and tell Rasputin everything about conspirators. There is no telling about the results or even if you will get away with it yourself. But maybe you’ll be successful, who knows? Maybe you will quit the group with time, in a more delicate fashion. Or you can try to use your new position for the sake of Survivalists. In other words, gimme something to work with, I don’t want to restrain your choices.

* * *

​

Grimgravy and his men were standing on the lookout, protecting the campsite. Batushka Artemy needed some rest before going any further.

These sinners will pay for what they have done to you, Artemy.

They already did.

Artemy breathed heavily. The exhaustion was too strong to bear, so he had to lay down on the grass.

Praise the Goddess… *huff* they did…

Artemy’s mutilated body was beyond any healing at this point.

Spoiler

Leave me here and go. *puff* Protect the Goddess, Sviatoslav. *cough*

Elizabeth sat down on a tree log nearby and smiled.

I came to Ivory Keep for you, Artemy. Why would I leave you now?

Both Artemy and Sviatoslav were surprised, to say the least. One would think that Elizabeth risked her life like that for her Champion, and not for some Eparch she never met before.

You have failed me, Sviatoslav. I saved you only because your cell was in the same dungeon.

… I am sorry, Countess.

Save your excuses. If you wish to earn my forgiveness, prove your worth in battle. The enemy is near.

Spoiler

But… why did you want to save me? What did I do to earn such honor?

I’ll keep It short for now. Alexej is dead, along with everyone who supported him. The Tserkov needs a new leader. I need you to become the next Patriarch, Artemy.

Spoiler

ArtB, technically, you can decline this offer.


1. I am unworthy / almost dead already / don’t want to take the responsibility / just want to die in one final hopeless battle.

2. I’ll do whatever it takes to aid my Goddess by any means availiable. Even if I won’t be the Patriarch for too long, I can do much. Besides, I can recommend a successor. Someone who will make things right after I’ll be gone from this world…

We can discuss it later. Take some rest.

With these words, Elizabeth left Artemy near the campfire and walked towards the lookout hill. Sviatoslav followed. From the hill they could see Grimgravy standing by the road and whipping himself with passion.

You should dismiss this man, Countess.

He is loyal to me.

He is incompetent. Grimgravy is partly to blame for my failure back when I was defeated at Rimtooth Pass. He is a worthless leader of men, and often says that his decisions are dictated by your own voice inside his head.

Is that so?

Elizabeth was watching Khlysty patrolling the area with curiosity.

Did you ever hear him say my name?

He refers to you as a “Goddess”.

Exactly. Skoptsy are prohibited from saying out loud the name of the Goddess. The Fivefold Angels train them this way.

Why?

So that in case of need, they would name whomever they want as the Goddess. I am not the most convenient candidate for the current leaders of Khlysty.

I can deal with Mondblut, Countess. You have but to order.

No need. Sooner or later, Mondblut will come to me himself. In the meantime, I told Grimgravy to spread the proper word among Khlysty.

Spoiler

Grimgravy, but WILL you do it? Elizabeth told you to refer to her by name, and make other Khlysty you come across (and you come across a lot of them) do the same.


1. ELIZABETH IS THE NAME OF MY GODDESS! THE NAME OF THE VOICE I HEAR – THE MOST BEAUTIFUL VOICE IN THE WORLD! *whip* I OBEY! *whip* *whip* I OBEEEEY!!!

2. Mondblut will never forgive me. Most likely. The teaching prohibits me from doing it. I CAN’T TAKE THIS RISK, DAMMIT! *whip* *whip*


If you go for option 1, mondblut will know about it almost immediately, for nothing escapes his attention when it comes to Khlysty business. He can decide whether to ignore you, or solve the Grimgravy problem somehow. Ignoring might lead to losing control over Khlysty with time, or at least partly losing it.

Suddenly, a bone-shredding high-pitched scream pierced the air.

SSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHP!!!

Grimgravy was running towards an unfamiliar horseman coming from the west. Other Khlysty followed. Sviatoslav and Elizabeth were watching from the hill.

He wears Arcoscephale colours.

Grimgravy’s archers pulled their strings.

THIS PROVINCE BELONGS TO BOGARUS NOW! STATE YOUR BUSINESS, INFIDEL! *whip*

I have a message for Elizabeth Bathory.

*whip* SEND A MAIL PIGEON TO THE CITY THEN! GET OUT!

I was told to deliver it to her personally.

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, MAKING SUCH RIDICULOUS DEMANDS! *whip* *whip* *whip* WHO WROTE THIS LETTER?!

Mighty Achilles, son of Zeus, Prophet of Athena.

PROPHET, EH?! WELL, I WILL READ THIS LETTER THEN! *whip* I AM GRIMGRAVY, THE SECOND CHAMPION OF OUR GODDESS! *whip*

The messenger didn’t want to pass the letter to some screaming self-flagellating madman, but the archers have surrounded the horse and were about to shoot the rider any moment. He gave up, letting Grimgravy lead this letter.

WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?! *murmurs* “words of your demise appear untrue”… OF COURSE THEY ARE UNTRUE, HERETIC! “I wish to avoid any unintentional conflict between our nations” HERE IS A WISE MAN FOR A CHANGE “We are moving on the province of Caelin's Copse. I would hate to see our armies clash because of proximety” CAELIN’S COPSE?!

It’s a province to the west of here.

*whip* SILENCE! *whip* OR I WILL COVER YOUR HORSE WITH MY BLOOD! Where was I? “Rumors of who is in charge in Bogarus are only rumors” WHO IS IN CHARGE?! THE GOOOOOOODESS IS IN CHARGE! *whip* “how does your war with the T'ien Ch'i barbarians fair?” THERE IS NO WAR, FOR ELIZABETH BATHORY HAS COME! NOW WE SHALL SLAUGHTER THEM LIKE THE BUTCHER SLAUGHTERS HIS WIFE! *whip* “The balance will tilt. It will tilt toward the one true goddess, Athena.” What? WHAT?! “ONE TRUE GODDESS”?! ATHENA?! HOW DARE YOU, INFIDEL!

Grimgravy tore the letter apart and ate the scraps.

I WILL NEVER SHOW IT TO ELIZABETH BATHORY! OUT! GET OUUUUTTT!

How can you let that idiot talk to people, Countess?

There is something special about this Skopets. Keep an eye on him for me.

As… as you say, Countess.

After the messenger from Arcoscephale was gone, Grimgravy ran to the lookout hill.

THEY WE

Stop screaming.

AH… Yes, Goddess. *whip*

And stop whipping yourself. Now speak.

That man had a letter from Achilles. He insisted you read it personally, but it was so disrespectful, I would never dare to show it to you. That heretic! Thinking he can address you, Elizabeth Bathory, and still call his Athena “the one true”

Grimgravy spitted on the ground.

Was there anything important in that letter?

They were asking to leave Caelin’s Copse for Arcoscephale to claim.

Do you wish me to write a response, Countess?

No need. If Achilles wanted a response, he would write to Ambassador Boris or any other member of the Royal Court.

Do you intend to fight them for Caelin’s Copse?

No. I have no interest in the west right now, and Bogarus already has an enemy to deal with.

Elizabeth casted a glance to the south.

Grimgravy, gather your men by the campfire. Sviatoslav, wake up Artemy. I have new orders for all of you.

 

[Azira]

So, mondblut want to talk about things skins here or in private?

 

[Grimgravy]

1: I hear the Goddess Elizabeth's voice! There is no denying it! She will deal with mondblut should he interfere with her appointed messenger doing his duties! Word shall spread far and wide: the Goddess is Elizabeth Bathory!

Spoiler

I'm so delightfully insane!

 

[mondblut]

So, mondblut want to talk about things skins here or in private?

You'll get a PM, Knyaz Master.

Grimwulf fine then, Mondblut desires this drooling idiot of a skopets to disappear. For once I would agree with Svyatoslav, such pallid incompetence should hang from a tree. Oh, and I expect whoever does the job to be more reasonable than the fools who couldn't even arrange for the dying prisoners to stay dead

 

[Caul Shivers]

This seems strangely appropriate while reading this LP.

In rest of world you write on news, In Mother Bogarus news write on you!

I volunteer Lizzud's left buttock for the tissue.

 

[Lizzurd]

I volunteer Lizzud's left buttock for the tissue.

I doubt that scale will apply well for the fleshpaper...

 

[Got bored and left]

Of course Artemy will accept his new responsibilities, if that is Her will. She saved him, She gives him purpose. What precious little time he has left on this sinful Earth, it is Hers to command.

And yes, he'll start grooming a worthy successor as soon as possible. Time is pressing.

 

[Joined on the 4th of July]

Oh yeah, Iyul the Emperor. And with Rasputin as advisor, that leaves more time for royal hunting trips. Sounds good. And conspirators could lay low for a while, or maybe even forget that any kind of conspiracy existed. Anyways, Iyul will try to protect them if needed, and certainly won't sell them out.

 

[Grimwulf]

PocketMine, I want you to decide who you want to be. Next turn I can recruit either Exarch or Skopets - both are fine with me.

1. Exarch

Spoiler

Excommunicated by former Patriarch Alexej for disobedience, now invited back in the bosom of the Tserov by Patriarch Artemy. Maybe he will name you as successor, who knows? Or you can help promote somebody else on Artemy's place and roll in Grey Eminence fashion.

2. Skopets

Spoiler

You were left in charge of village Gorevo for the time Mondblut is away. You can stay loyal to him, completing different assignments in Gorevo and capital city (Mondblut has plenty of problems that need to be dealt with). Or you can try to act unpredictable and see where it leads.

It would also be great if you came up with a name. I can use Pocket Mine, I guess, but then I need some sort of backstory - why in all hells does everybody in Bogarus call you Pocket Mine?

Spoiler

inb4: because that's what she said.

 

[PocketMine]

2. name Calleb

 

[Joined on the 4th of July]

A musical interlude!



Therion's p. cool band for a Dominons player

 

[Grimwulf]

Men, sorry that next update will be short - I'm out of time to submit my turn, and want to use what's left for you to make key choices. I'll make up for it during next chapter.

 

[Grimwulf]

CHAPTER 16

​

Artemy’s inauguration and Iyul’s crowning were held during the same day. Both ceremonies were relatively modest. Later, following Rasputin’s orders, Iyul made a public explanation that he didn’t need sumptuous ceremonies during these times of war with T’ien Ch’i, and he would rather use his time for more urgent matters, like eliminating the barbarian threat. The crowd was ecstatic.

After all those ceremonies and public announcements, deadly tired Iyul and Artemy finally got a chance to talk to each other in Tsar’s private chambers.

Patriarch Artemy, you old fat fart.

Tsar Iyul Chetverti, coward-ass punk.

Let’s skip the hugging and kissing part and just have a drink.

I brought wine from Alexej’s secret stash. That good for nothing bastard, at least he did something right – saved this truly sacramental bottle!

For some time, the two men were simply drinking and laughing, remembering old days and all the battles they fought together.

Remember when those horse fuckers attacked us first time at Rimtooth Pass?

You mean when that old blabbering idiot leading them charged ahead and swallowed Bogaslavic javelin?

It was nothing compared to the fight I had a couple of months ago at the Hand. I wish you could see it.

Hah, I saw something better. Elizabeth Bathory herself, slaying rebel bastards by dozens. I never witnessed anything that beautiful before, it was like *cough*

Artemy’s cough sounded like he was choking up a lung and maybe his heart to keep it company.

How are you holding up? You don’t look so well.

Dem healers say I shall last long enough. Probably half a year, if I’m lucky.

Daaamn. I’m really sorry to hear that.

Why? I would be dead by now, suffering through tortures of that son of a bear Gwydon. But look at me standing here, drinkin’ wine with my buddy Tsar, wearing Patriarch’s cassock. While Gwydon is gone and forgotten already. I’d call it luck, but in in fact it was Divine Intervention. She saved my life back there.

So what are you going to do now?

I’ll try to use whatever time I have remaining to guide the Tserkov back to the path of righteousness.

Spoiler

ArtB, you have 6 hp left. It means that from now on, you have 1-6 months left to live, depending on your luck. You can recommend a successor at any moment, but I will give you the opportunity to do it on deathbed. If you die peacefully, that is. If you die from some sort of assassin attack or in any other violent way – sorry, we’ll have to roll without your recommendation then.


There is only one requirement for candidates: they must have Holy magic path. Eparchs, Exarchs, Fivefold Angels, Skoptsy, Sviatoslav the Prophet (the latter might refuse, though). You can also name your next char, if you feel like it, but I won’t recruit heirs for some time. The Tserkov will have a temporary leader in that case.


If you plan to promote other player, feel free to name your terms. Maybe you want them to swear loyalty, or to root out entire Khlysty movement for some reason. Maybe you want them to do something for your next character when he comes into play? Or maybe you won’t make any terms, or name successor at all – you are free to do whatever you want.

Don’t you follow Rasputin’s orders?

No, nobody told me to do anything like that. But since he is loyal to Bathory, I will try to help him in every way I can, if needed.

Yeah, now that’s fair. You are free to party how you like, and I have to be his plaything.

It was aaall Her intention.

Now you talk like Grimgravy. Where is he, by the way?

Elizabeth ordered him to stay in Krator. She expected barbarians to attack this province last month, but just in case they would not – he stayed there to preach Her word and praise Her name among the population.

How did it go?

They attacked, of course. Wasn’t hard to predict their actions.

Spoiler

Spoiler

Any casualties?

None, we didn't leave any men there. Well, a couple of Khlysts died, but you know how it usually happens with them.

Spoiler

You know what’s really strange?

Hur?

All those months in captivity haven’t affected your weight one bit. In fact, you look fatter than before!

WHY YOU SODOMIZING CUR

* * *

​

City guards seized Hoverdogoff and his men as soon as they arrived in the capital one week ago. Now all of them were standing here on the scaffold, awaiting the inevitable. Elizabeth demanded a proper trial, but Grigori saw only one suitable punishment for Hoverdogoff’s treachery and incompetence. Rasputin's orders were clear: Iyul Chetverti is supposed to sentence Hoverdogoff for execution.

LOOK AT THIS MAN, GRYAZ! He is the one responsible for the current weakened state of Bogarus! Being endlessly kind and compassionate, your Goddess demanded trial to be held. So be it.

The crowd listened to Rasputin with interest, cheering and prasing Elizabeth Bathory. Tsar Iyul Chetverti and his bodyguards were standing by the side of the scaffold.

Former Knyaz Hoverdogoff! You are being accused of murdering Dreaad the Prophet’s squire; aiding former Patriarch Alexej in his quest of selling Bogarus to Ulm; luring your own peshtsi into traps and ambushes to make Bogarusian voisko weaker; accepting province of Deerhome as a bribe from the Patriarch; several cases of deserting; hiding from your punishment. I don’t see how your words can change anything, but in Her generosity, you are allowed to speak.

Spoiler

hoverdog, say sumthin'. Or don’t. You are about to be executed, so it was probably a bad idea to hope for justice in Bogarus. You should have stayed in the woods, away from the city.

Joined on the 4th of July , technically, you can spare his life. But Rasputin’s orders on this matter were clear.

1. Hoverdogoff the traitor must die. His peshtsi will claim the province of Fennis if they want to earn Tsar’s pardon.

2. Hoverdogoff the murderer must die. His men will fight in frontlines of T’ien Ch’i war, in order to earn Tsar’s padon.

3. Fuck Rasputin. (name your own crazy sentence)

ArtB, in case Iyul orders execution, you can decide on whether or not to forgive Hoverdogoff’s sin. It will affect some stuff in case hoverdog enters the game again, as a second character.

1. His soul was misguided. He paid the price now. I grant him Absolution on his way to Afterlife.

2. HIS SIN WAS TREACHERY AND VORACIOUSNESS! THIS MORBID SELF-LOATHING MAN HAS NO RIGHT FOR FORGIVENESS!

* * *

​

Janvar was in truly poor mood this day. Recent news were overwhelming for old Veliky Knyaz. Tsar Nevsky’s voisko is crushed by Khlysty and Elizabeth Bathory; his friend Gwydon is dead; his brother Iyul is the crowned Tsar now. And if that wasn't enough, he has no better advisors to discuss military matters than Fiodor Polkin and Lizzurd that were currently examining strategical map in his tent.

T’ien Ch’i is almost dead.

Spoiler

Pythium invaded their southern lands, claiming Sleeper’s Embrace with a considerable force. Barbarian main army is too far away to counter-attack – lured in province of Krator by Elizabeth Bathory.

Zat woman. Mmm.

I would prefer not to discuss her right now. In any case, T’ien Ch’i has another small band at their disposal, currently stationed in the River Orn.

So they can make returning of Sleeper's Embrace back to possession?

They could, but that would lead to River Orn becoming vulnerable for Ulm invasion. Besides, they will need everything to defend against us, once we claim Trollhome and march towards their capital city.

Why don’t we perform it now?

Tsar Nevsky asks me to go back to Ivory Keep and protect it against the horde. But I feel like this is the best time for attacking Trollhome – barbarians were never that vulnerable, and our voisko was never that big.

Spoiler

Lizzurd and Jester, while you cannot decide for Janvar, he called you to hear your opinions on what to do.


1. Protect Ivory Keep. This strategy is safe and won’t provoke a conflict with Tsar Nevsky. Time works for us, for the economy of T’ien Ch’i is drowned to the bottom. They can never out-produce our military now.

2. Attack Trollhome. It was never that vulnerable – barbarians simply don’t have any reinforcements to bring there for protection. Let their army besiege Ivory Keep – the walls will hold against such petty force for many months. They will never claim the castle.

3. Make a speech / draw schemes / ask the dead / pray for Bathory’s mercy (or any other mad decision of your own)

 

[Lizzurd]

Barbarians have never been so weak! Ivory keep has mighty walls and it can stand for a long against savage horsemen. Meanwhile we could cut their way for retreat and maybe even attack the capital directly.

 

[Jester]

1

Ze horse humpers are in Krator. They either can run to Trollhome, die attacking Ivory Keep, or continue to Caelin's corpse. With North Basin secured conquering Trollhome is as easy as convincing Khylist to remove ze babymaker. If they loose that province Ten'TChi is ripe for organ harvest, zo i expect retreat. Leaving us Krator province for easy conquest. With Bathory here and bear man dead throwing Golden Undergarments soldiers is stupid. We would lose much probably giving Azira ze pretext to write something bad in his Tissue in the end. He even started to wear beard like Mine, although more black.

 

[Lizzurd]

Just curious - Grimwulf, do you brofist each post in your thread?

 

[Jester]

Just curious - Grimwulf, do you brofist each post in your thread?

Only Ze good ones.

 

[Grimwulf]

Just curious - Grimwulf, do you brofist each post in your thread?

Just to let people know that I saw their choices, and will implement them in further updates.

 

[Got bored and left]

Well, as far as the next Patriarch is considered, all current PC candidates are Khlysty (unless I'm horribly wrong), and Artemy would rather not leave the Tserkov in their hands. Therefore, he'll look for a more, khem, conventional priest, preferably an Exarch, so that he can be groomed into a good servant of the Goddess (the assumption being that Eparchs, if any of them still live, are more likely to be bloated - lol - self-serving hypocrites. Someone of purer spirit is needed for this position). Whether this person should be someone else's character, my next char or a completely indpendent dude is another matter. You can decide if you want.

And as for Hoverdogoff - should he be sentenced to death, Artemy will be willing to absolve him of his sins under one conditition: he has to solemnly repent and pronounce Elizabeth Bathory as his Goddess. Publicly, of course.