NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[Darth Roxor]

Old but gold

http://successfulsoftware.net/2007/08/16/the-software-awards-scam/

I put out a new product a couple of weeks ago. This new product has so far won 16 different awards and recommendations from software download sites. Some of them even emailed me messages of encouragement such as “Great job, we’re really impressed!”. I should be delighted at this recognition of the quality of my software, except that the ‘software’ doesn’t even run. This is hardly surprising when you consider that it is just a text file with the words “this program does nothing at all” repeated a few times and then renamed as an .exe. The PAD file that described the software contains the description “This program does nothing at all”. The screenshot I submitted (below) was similarly blunt and to the point.

Even the name of the software, “awardmestars”, was a bit of a giveaway. And yet it still won 16 ‘awards’.

 

[Luzur]

I still remember how local magazines built enormous ammonts of hype for Daikatana, but as soon as it was released, they just stopped talking about it. It just disappeared. Looking back, it's just another late 90s shooter. Romero's attitude was one thing, but in the end it feels somewhat comfortable that you actually have to fight rather than run for cover and watch constant cutscenes. And yes, it's amusing that this same studio made Deus Ex.
Quake 2 was alright, but in a "finish once and forget about it" sense.

actually, that is how i remember it too, lots of ads "Romero is gonna make you his bitch", lots of screenshots and sneakpeaks etc, release date and...nothing.

i cant remember a single review or anyone talking about it.

 

[Tzaero]

 

[RK47]

Hey kids, can you guess what game are they talking about?

Spoiler

Wastelands 2

 

[Astral Rag]

Civ4

Skyrim

Counter-Strike

Munich Bus Driver

http://www.pcgamer.com/gallery/the-most-baffling-steam-reviews/

Spoiler

http://steamcommunity.com/id/evanescence/recommended/

 

[Infinitron]

 

[shiteatingnippledick]

Why do some of these "teens" look like 30 year olds trying to look and act like teens?

 

[jcd]

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[felipepepe]

Yeah, the guy with the hat backwards looks like he's 30. And what's with the clothes? Some of those look things back from the 90's.

Also, lol at "OMG, so hard to make it work". You can start to play a NES or SNES faster than a modern console plays its logo and dumps you into the menu 2GB mandatory update.

 

[Rivmusique]

Fine Bros.

Thought it would be awful, watched it anyway because I trusted you.

I trusted you...

 

[Infinitron]

Well, you are in the Best Thread Ever.

 

[Azrael the cat]

Hey kids, can you guess what game are they talking about?

Spoiler

Wastelands 2

This entitlement talk is just sad. Consumers are entitled to bitch about whatever they don't like in the market. That's how entrepreneurs pick underserved segments. Businesses are not entitled to have their business model survive, nor are they entitled for their games to make a profit, and they definitely aren't entitled to be free from criticism, or even unreasonable criticism.

 

[Infinitron]

Russian documentary uses Team Fortress 2 poster in WW1 propaganda report



9:58

 

[StaticSpine]

Russian documentary uses Team Fortress 2 poster in WW1 propaganda report



9:58

:russia:

Love my homeland

 

[Awor Szurkrarz]

Hey kids, can you guess what game are they talking about?

Spoiler

Wastelands 2

This entitlement talk is just sad. Consumers are entitled to bitch about whatever they don't like in the market. That's how entrepreneurs pick underserved segments. Businesses are not entitled to have their business model survive, nor are they entitled for their games to make a profit, and they definitely aren't entitled to be free from criticism, or even unreasonable criticism.

True. Though I think the problem is that Internet has changed the balance and now they have to deal with too much feedback to be absorbed by a few people.

 

[Azrael the cat]

Hey kids, can you guess what game are they talking about?

Spoiler

Wastelands 2

This entitlement talk is just sad. Consumers are entitled to bitch about whatever they don't like in the market. That's how entrepreneurs pick underserved segments. Businesses are not entitled to have their business model survive, nor are they entitled for their games to make a profit, and they definitely aren't entitled to be free from criticism, or even unreasonable criticism.

True. Though I think the problem is that Internet has changed the balance and now they have to deal with too much feedback to be absorbed by a few people.

Ohh yeahh. Completely. I don't expect developers to engage with all complaints (and of course they're going to ensure their own forums are positive). You're always going to be overloaded with complaints from people who are outside your market, whether that's folk who can't complete the tutorial, or codexers who are pissed that your mainstream target-the-CoD-fan game is mainstream and targeting CoD fans. Without any sure means of working out how forum comments relate to the general market, it's entirely reasonable for them to just ignore all but the most common of complaints, or the general vibe, and avoid engaging with fan criticism at all.

And certainly don't have each of your designers, or even the lead, engage directly with forums. Hire one guy, or a team if you can afford it, and make it their job. Even then, they're probably better served by noting (but not necessarily engaging with) the major complaints, while pushing the company lines instead of arguing with people.

That's what the successful major developers seem to do. Bethesda doesn't seem completely oblivious to criticism outside their own sanitised forum, but they certainly don't engage at an individual level either. They get Hines to do that for them, and he just puts out their message. There's probably zero benefit in actually arguing with folk on fora.

Indie devs generally can't afford PR, and often the lead designer is doing double duty as marketing spokesperson. So I can doubly understand if they just don't ever respond to forum criticism, other than doing PR-related stuff amongst dedicated fans (though the more market-savvy ones will still monitor the comments going round with a dispassionate eye).

But that's a very long way from implying that consumers are doing something wrong by levying their criticisms.

 

[Jaedar]

I thought this was funny, fuck da hataz.

 

[Zewp]

What is with all this X react to y videos that swarm Youtube? I can't watch any video without one of them popping up in the recommendations.

 

[Night Goat]

Skyrim

> 1,331 hrs on record
> not recommended

Which one of us posted this?

 

[~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸-AIN'T]

Skyrim

> 1,331 hrs on record
> not recommended

Which one of us posted this?

Come on, if it was one of us we would have played for 6 more hours to complete the joke.

 

[Astral Rag]

Failed Yogventures Kickstarter backers given Landmark key
A second gesture for anyone who paid. But...

Backers of the failed Yogventures Kickstarter campaign have been given a free key for Landmark, Sony Entertainment Online's upcoming MMORPG.

It is the second gesture of goodwill to be given to Yogventures fans after popular YouTube channel Yogscast, which worked with Yogventures developer Winterkewl on the game, initially offered a Steam key for open-world survival game TUG.

Landmark is a sort of world-building prologue to EverQuest Next and is currently in closed beta. It is only accessible to those who have paid a small amount (around £15) for the privilege.

But the game will end up becoming free-to-play upon its final release, and anyone can currently sign up for seven days free Landmark access, Yogscast backer or not.

The highly-successful Yogventures campaign raised nearly $570,000 for indie studio Winterkewl back in 2012, more than double the original goal of $250k.

Over 200 people put down more than $300, while five backers opted for the most lavish $10,000 tier where you could go and have lunch with Yogscast themselves.

"As you may have heard, Winterkewl Games have stopped work on Yogventures - but this is actually a good thing," Yogscast co-founder Lewis Brindley explained at the time. "The project was proving too ambitious and difficult for them to complete with their six-man team.

"While this was Winterkewl's project, we put a lot of time, energy and effort into trying to help them realise their dream. Since we heard the news, we've been working hard behind the scenes to make sure that you still get awesome stuff and cool experiences. Although we're under no obligation to do anything, instead we're going to do our best to make this right, and make you really glad you backed the project!"

The first step of that was a key for PC sandbox TUG, which Yogscast now hopes to support in a similar way to the Yogventures project. It's unknown if other rewards are on the way. Yogventures developer Winterkewl subsequently disbanded.

http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2...ntures-kickstarter-backers-given-landmark-key

 

[Hoaxmetal]

Although we're under no obligation to do anything

At least they aren't lying about that D:

 

[Clockwork Knight]

The project was proving too ambitious and difficult for them to complete with their six-man team.

Wat. Couldn't even be bothered with a decent excuse? They got double the maximum amount, what's keeping them from hiring more people?

 

[Night Goat]

http://www.casualgirlgamer.com/articles/entry/82/top-10-dungeon-crawlers/

 

[Unkillable Cat]

Another site to put in the deathlist for being too stupid to exist.