NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[Derek Larp]

Spoiler

Bonus:

Spoiler

 

[Cadmus]

https://twitter.com/BenKuchera

.

This guy reviews games or who is he? If so, this might be the most retarded fucking tweet this year.

 

[Whisky]

This sick is filth.
WARNING - if you're an Andhaira'a alt then don't watch, there is violence made on goats. Well, maybe when you're into bsdm...

Wait a minute...wait a minute...

Wisdom Tree still exists!?

http://www.wisdomtreegames.com/

Holy fuck. These guys were infamous for making unlicensed bible NES/SNES games.

 

[DalekFlay]

This guy reviews games or who is he? If so, this might be the most retarded fucking tweet this year.

He was at Ars Technica for a long time and wrote about games a lot there, then he took over Penny Arcade's short-lived news section for a while and obviously reviewed and wrote about games there. Now he's some kind of editorial guy at Polygon, where he obviously writes about games. He's well known for being very arrogant. I found it amusing he plays games on easy.

 

[Ninja Destroyer]

I remember taking a big chest in Deus Ex:HR dlc and using it as a mobile cover. It was hillarious, the guys didn't tried to flank and instead just kept shooting at me on and on.

 

[Tehdagah]

Part of the job description is, arguably, to be able to judge the game at its base setting, which should, in theory, be what each and every mechanic in the game is balanced for. Therefore you can't say a game is unbalanced, or too difficult, or that the combat is too short/long etc. without playing on the default difficulty from the get go.

Sometimes a game gets more balanced in higher difficulty modes, even in a non-purposeful way.

 

[Unkillable Cat]

I remember taking a big chest in Deus Ex:HR dlc and using it as a mobile cover. It was hillarious, the guys didn't tried to flank and instead just kept shooting at me on and on.

This is also the case in HL2. IIRC, the enemy AI only fires upon you if they trace LOS to your crosshairs. So someone held a soda can to cover their crosshairs, walked in front of a manned turret emplacement and not one shot was fired at him.

I'm sure there's a Youtube video that shows this, but I couldn't find one.

 

[Infinitron]

I remember taking a big chest in Deus Ex:HR dlc and using it as a mobile cover. It was hillarious, the guys didn't tried to flank and instead just kept shooting at me on and on.

This is also the case in HL2. IIRC, the enemy AI only fires upon you if they trace LOS to your crosshairs. So someone held a soda can to cover their crosshairs, walked in front of a manned turret emplacement and not one shot was fired at him.

I'm sure there's a Youtube video that shows this, but I couldn't find one.

 

[Unkillable Cat]

I briefly checked the "related videos" at the end and found this:

 

[Average Manatee]

Part of the job description is, arguably, to be able to judge the game at its base setting, which should, in theory, be what each and every mechanic in the game is balanced for. Therefore you can't say a game is unbalanced, or too difficult, or that the combat is too short/long etc. without playing on the default difficulty from the get go.

Sometimes a game gets more balanced in higher difficulty modes, even in a non-purposeful way.

They may, in rare cases. But that's still a failure of design. They should be balanced for default difficulty.

Completely wrong. The correct way to make difficulty is to start at the top difficulty and scale down. Lower difficulties inherently can't be balanced because they are supposed to not be challenging.

Though you could argue that the hardest difficulty should be considered "default".

 

[Angthoron]

Speaking of seagulls, seems The Forest is turning out to be a p.swell game. Gets p.good with bird replacing the PC's head.

 

[Average Manatee]

Designers should quit being idiots, we would get better games.

Balance only matters on the highest difficulty levels. At anything less the game is intentionally pulling its punches against the players and therefore balance is far less important.

If you look at games with good combat you can see that they were designed from the start to pose a high level of difficulty to the player and easy modes were added in later. Games with shit combat balance for "normal" (i.e. pussy) mode and then give stupid buffs to enemies in a misguided attempt to challenge people who don't play pussy mode.

So a heavy attack that might take 50% of your health on normal/default difficulty should take 25% on Easy, 75% on Hard, and 100% on Insane, for example.

It seems you have already internally accepted that the highest difficulty should be the default difficulty, since you put it at 100% (i.e. baseline). Though direct damage scaling is usually a shitty way to make things easier.

 

[Average Manatee]

You talk a lot but say nothing.

Olden times: Games were were made by people who enjoyed them for people who enjoyed them, meaning that the are aimed at someone who is also good at them (inb4 Avellone Arcanum jokes). From a core, well-balanced difficulty to challenge a competent player it is easy to scale down difficulty to easier levels. Casual players don't care about balance to begin with, though balance is still better then in the next example.

Nowadays: Games are designed for focus groups of people pulled off the street with no knowledge or experience who have 2 hours to make a list of things that confused or annoyed them in any way (these things need to be eliminated). Since the game isn't made to be challenging in the first place, different difficulties are basically a joke as there is no balance to start from.

Which would you prefer? It's pretty clear what climate the better games came out of.

 

[Tehdagah]

Killing you instantly is not the "baseline" in that theoretical. In the example I'm using, if a developer assumes that the average player is going to be at level of skill at that point in the game in which they can probably avoid 3/4s of the heavy attacks thrown at them, but is statistically likely to fumble and get hit by a handful of those attacks, they set the damage to 50% of the player's max health as a form of corrective punishment, assuming that the danger of losing that same amount of health will help focus the player and encourage them to avoid further hits - if they're capable of avoiding 3 in 4 heavy attacks then the developer can reasonably assume that the 1 in 4 heavy attacks that are connecting are the result of either (...)

The problem is that the average player is a moron. The developers don't assume that average players will avoid 3/4s of the heavy attacks thrown at them, developers know that average players will avoid only 1/10s of the heavy attacks thrown at them, even when these attacks are well-telegraphed and the game does a nice job teaching the rules to the player. You are overestimating the intelligence of most consumers.

ie: Average Manatee is right, at least when it comes to mainstream games. I'm pretty sure that the real Crysis is Delta mode. The other difficulty modes are just dumbed down versions of Delta.

 

[Astral Rag]

I briefly checked the "related videos" at the end and found this:

Finally a reason to reinstall that game.

 

[bert]

Spoiler

RK47


Also they replaced the fists with a pillow

 

[Don Peste]

 

[St Antony of Padua]

I thought he was cute!

 

[warpig]

The Japs of Europe.

 

[Zewp]

http://games.on.net/2014/06/ubisoft-game-the-review/

Presented with only the greatest of love for Ubisoft.

By now we’ve all heard of Ubisoft Game, and if you haven’t, then you’ve been living under a rock. Ubisoft Game is the latest in a long line of titles from Ubisoft, and with a bigger budget than ever before and no less than 75 of Ubisoft’s 193 global studios working on it, there’s no doubt that this year’s Ubisoft Game is going to be the big one.

You can play Ubisoft Game on basically any platform of your choice, but we’ve been reviewing it on a next-gen console, because that’s the platform it was made for.

Ubisoft Game is the story of Main Character, a gruff or sassy white man who is really good at parkour, killing, and killing while doing parkour. One of the most iconic features of Main Character is the way he dresses — Main Character’s sense of style and flair really comes across in his tailored outfit, which makes him look distinctive and features a number of clear symbols that can be easily used in marketing and merchandising.

The game takes place in a big open world, with lots of people and maybe even animals living in it. That sounds like it should be a paradise, but it’s not — a Bad Thing has happened and Main Character is right in the thick of it. Or maybe he’s the only one who can stop it? The story in Ubisoft Game is a bit uncompelling, but that’s okay, because there’s just so much to see and do.

When the main story starts, it’s a bit slow and scripted to begin with, but it’s not long before you’re out in the open world doing your thing. Ubisoft really know how to do an open world, and the jungle sections in particular of Ubisoft Game are just amazing. Those guys and gals really know how to do jungle. There’s also some really impressive AI on display, keeping the wildlife and/or people moving and creating a living, breathing ecosystem around you. You can drive cars or possibly horses and run over people too, which is good. This may make guards attack you, which is bad.

A key mechanic of Ubisoft Game is that control points on the map need to be ‘captured’ to unlock particular areas. Each control point is a challenge and gives you influence over that particular area, and allows you do your parkour or whatever without being attacked by the bad guys. When you’re not capturing control points with your Good Parkour Skills, you don’thave to go and do the main story, although Main Character’s skills don’t unlock until you do which is kind of annoying. There’s lots to see and do. Ubisoft Game is filled with side activities such as This Gambling Game, Beating Up Enemies Until You Are Told To Stop, Looking For Collectibles, and Tailing Somebody Somewhere For Some Reason.

You can also do the thing which works offline with your companion app, which you can download. Once you’ve got the thing, you can use your companion app to do it, on your tablet or smart phone! It’s neat and impressive, but does it add much to the game? We’re not sure.

You’ll want to come back to the main story though, because that’s what Ubisoft Game is really all about. The main story introduces a number of people who aren’t the Main Character, and most of them are pretty forgettable but there are one or two in there who are genuinely more interesting than the Main Character, which is strange. Anyway the main story also has a lot of stuff to do, although there’s a lot of really stupid instant-fail stealth missions where you have to reload over and over again, and it seems like Ubisoft kind of ran out of ideas near to the end. The main story goes for approximately 400 years and it probably didn’t need to be that long.

There’s a lot of combat in Ubisoft Game. From the initial trailers we thought maybe there would be more to the game than combat, but truth be told you’ll be spending a lot of time just shooting or stabbing people, possibly while doing parkour or in stealth. That combat is great fun so that’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s about time for Ubisoft to realise that not every game needs to be packed with as much action as possible.

The message of the main story seems kind of lost unfortunately, which is a shame because Ubisoft have clearly put so much money and effort into polishing Ubisoft Game. It feels like they were afraid to really make a statement in the main story, and Main Character just isn’t an interesting enough White Man Who Is Good At Killing to really deliver on the game’s potentially edgy premise. Main Character often does things which are just as bad as the bad guys in the game, and this double standard isn’t really addressed by Ubisoft Game at any point in the narrative.

Ubisoft Game comes in about 4,027 different editions depending on where you buy it and what phase of the moon you’re in at the time, so it’s hard to know if any of the mountains of DLC, Unlockable Extras, Side Missions and Add-Ons for Ubisoft Game change anything significantly about the main story. What we can tell you though is that Ubisoft Game has some neat easter eggs that also make references to other Ubisoft Games, which is nice.

We also took Ubisoft Game for a quick spin on PC, and it’s a mixed bag. Sometimes Ubisoft Game is good on PC and sometimes it isn’t, and this Ubisoft Game follows the same pattern. It’s definitely meant for a controller though, unless you’re doing some shooting. That’s much better with a keyboard and mouse. For those of you wondering — yes, Ubisoft Game uses Uplay. Sorry.

All in all, Ubisoft Game is a game that Ubisoft have made. You’ll play it if you like that sort of thing, and in fact it has already sold 250 million copies.

Ubisoft also make some absolutely incredible smaller games like Rayman Legends, Child of Light and Valiant Hearts: The Great War, but nobody plays those so whatever.

 

[Xor]

There, they never need to write another review again. We could probably do the same thing with Bioware.

 

[Grim Monk]

Ubisoft Game is the story of Main Character, a gruff or sassy white man.

Pisses me off.

SJW tears about Ubisoft not making a "PoC'" the main character.

Ass-Creed Series Protagonists:
Altair = Arab/Middle Eastern
Ratonhnhaké:ton = Indian/Native American
Aveline = Creole (French-Black American) [Female]
Adéwalé = Afro-Caribbean

Far Cry 2:
No canon "Main Character" instead you can choose out of 9.
Among them we have:
Quarbani Singh (Indian-Mauritian)
Paul Ferenc (Israeli)
Xianyong Bai (Chinese)
Marty Alencar (Brazilian)
Josip Idromeno (Albanian)
Hakim Echebbi (Algerian)
Andre Hyppolite (Haitian)

That's 7 that are not traditional "Westerners".
(6 if they don't count the "privileged" Israeli.)

Prince of Persia:
The Prince = Persian/Iranian (duh)

SJW Journalists can't into remembering their gaming history, or even be bothered to look it up on Wikipedia...

The rest of the article is spot on...

 

[Infinitron]

Good article on layoffs in the gaming industry: http://kotaku.com/why-game-developers-keep-getting-laid-off-1583192249

Excerpt:

Some companies might handle these layoffs well, but for many game developers, the process of getting laid off is totally degrading.

In 2007, at a studio in London, employees were summoned to the cantina and told that layoffs were coming, and that they could expect to hear within a week who would be affected, according to a person who was there. When they all got back to their desks, they found that the company had installed software in every computer that would tell the IT department when anyone attached an external USB drive, that ex-employee said.

"I guess [the studio] was worried that people would take the code and assets and release them on the internet," said the employee. "In reality that meant that people couldn't use assets for their portfolio (which is otherwise pretty common practice when changing jobs)."

And then there's the case of the telltale phones. A few years ago, when former game publisher THQ was facing financial difficulties following the flop of their uDraw tablets, the publisher started downsizing at their various studios across the world. At one of those studios, according to a person who worked there, then-THQ boss Danny Bilson flew out and called everyone into a meeting. THQ was doing layoffs, Bilson announced, and employees who were axed would receive an email letting them know.

Immediately, phones started buzzing throughout the room.

"Anyone who had their smart phone hooked up to company email knew instantly that they'd been let go," said a former THQ employee. "It got ugly pretty quick."

I've heard way too many stories full of these brutal details. Sometimes people are physically escorted from the building, as they were during various layoffs at LucasArts during the mid-2000s, according to a person who worked there. Once, at the failed publisher Midway, some employees were brought into a conference room and told "Those of you in here are not fired," a former employee told me.

(yes, it's Kotaku, deal with it)

 

[Infinitron]

But all of these happen to people with real jobs, too. "Clean out your desk, two burly security officers will escort you to the door" is hardly unheard of outside the vidya industry. The USB thing happens in software/other sensitive positions.

I'm a newsposter, I quote the sensational bits. But they're not actually the main point of the article.

 

[RK47]