Dumbass shit in D&D

[mondblut]

Oh, and...

Methinks Jasede needs this as his mandatory avatar

 

[ProphetSword]

Beware the mighty OWLEPHANT!

 

[Chaotic_Heretic]

are d&d writers continually on acid? imagine that every single thing I've posted has its own rules, descriptions of appearance, powers, origins, sometimes even mating habits

You say that like its a bad thing.

 

[Norfleet]

it gets way worse though when you're playing with the sort of nerds that tried to justify han solo when he said that millenium falcon can make the kessel run in less than 12 parsecs and apply the same sort of retarded logic to explain the existence of ridiculousness like rust monsters, living ceilings, and tree stumps with rabbit-like growths on them instead of just having fun

You don't have to really "justify" that. It was a thing a character said. Do people in real life always say things that are factually correct and logically coherent, or do they frequently utter things which are bullshit? You're dealing with a thing said by a shady character: Are such people generally reliable narrators? Or do they bullshit and exaggerate their abilities often?

 

[DraQ]

it gets way worse though when you're playing with the sort of nerds that tried to justify han solo when he said that millenium falcon can make the kessel run in less than 12 parsecs and apply the same sort of retarded logic to explain the existence of ridiculousness like rust monsters, living ceilings, and tree stumps with rabbit-like growths on them instead of just having fun

Do people in real life always say things that are factually correct and logically coherent

Spacerhobo.

 

[Raghar]

are d&d writers continually on acid? imagine that every single thing I've posted has its own rules, descriptions of appearance, powers, origins, sometimes even mating habits

You say that like its a bad thing.

The correct word isn't on acid, the correct word is an artistic talent. You know some artist have talent without being on acid.

 

[DraQ]

http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article73.htm

"Sea lion". Get it? "Sea" "lion". Get it?

The truly horrifying part is that someone has almost succeeded at making the depiction sell the idea.

 

[DraQ]

are d&d writers continually on acid? imagine that every single thing I've posted has its own rules, descriptions of appearance, powers, origins, sometimes even mating habits

You say that like its a bad thing.

The correct word isn't on acid, the correct word is an artistic talent. You know some artist have talent without being on acid.

And some behave as if on acid without displaying artistic talent.

 

[Norfleet]

Someone explain to me how something like this would have evolved.

A wizard did it. I mean, think about it. You're a wizard. The laws of reality are your bitch. If you want to make a creature that consists of nothing but fractal dicks, who's stopping you? Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for you are flammable and conduct electricity.

 

[Caim]

Prismatic Bow. Wiz/Soc 8 spell, gives the user a bow that can fire seven arrows, one per color on Prismatic Spray (and has effects as such).

Seems silly until you realize this spell was made for the sole reason of being able to make a rainbow pun.

Spoiler

 

[Keldryn]

The bodies of the Oard are only partially flesh and blood, with the remainder being composed of high tech machinery and electronic circuits. Each Oard is nearly identical in appearance.

They appear in an adventure (CM6 Where Chaos Reigns) where their time-traveling agents have altered the history of a world at key moments and the PCs need to travel back in time to those same moments and stop the Oard from changing history.

Man, D&D writers never stop ripping off other franchises. I hate it when they do that, it's just so... wait, this adventure was published in May 1985?

Oh.

 

[Irenaeus]

That was actually cool in 1985.

 

[ProphetSword]

The bodies of the Oard are only partially flesh and blood, with the remainder being composed of high tech machinery and electronic circuits. Each Oard is nearly identical in appearance.

They appear in an adventure (CM6 Where Chaos Reigns) where their time-traveling agents have altered the history of a world at key moments and the PCs need to travel back in time to those same moments and stop the Oard from changing history.

Man, D&D writers never stop ripping off other franchises. I hate it when they do that, it's just so... wait, this adventure was published in May 1985?

Oh.

"Terminator" came out in 1984 and was highly popular during the time period this would have been developed. So, I wouldn't rule out them ripping something off.

 

[Caim]

I went through the 5e Monster Manual recently. It's a pretty good book, better than the 4e one and at least they bothered to illustrate all the monsters (which 3e often skimped out on). It's mostly serious... until you reach this thing:

Note that this thing is in the Animated Objects entry, so the Monster Manual needs only 20 pages until it breaks out the stupid monsters.

 

[Irenaeus]

You obviously had no childhood.

 

[Caim]

You obviously had no childhood.

Last time I checked this motherfuck didn't go around strangling people to death. And it could fly.

 

[Azrael the cat]

Owlbears are for wimps. Feast your eyes on this leopard-snake hybrid that someone clearly thought made a bunch of sense after dropping acid:


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You have...you have SEEN the internet, haven't you? And you still think that the problem with that creature is, in a setting where 'powerful liches/mages/whatever' periodically design and create abominations, that nobody would create a tiger with a bunch of snakes coming out of it, instead of it not being a bunch of enormous cocks?

 

[ProphetSword]

You have...you have SEEN the internet, haven't you? And you still think that the problem with that creature is, in a setting where 'powerful liches/mages/whatever' periodically design and create abominations, that nobody would create a tiger with a bunch of snakes coming out of it, instead of it not being a bunch of enormous cocks?

Clearly the wizard who created it didn't see the Internet, or it *would* have been a tiger with a bunch of enormous cocks. I mean...why wouldn't you?