Max? It's me, Morgan. I'm right here.
I have no idea what's going on here, but at least an update with real people in it should be...slightly less insane? Less torture of children's souls? Thanks, game.
Awful circus music is playing. It's awful. Let's talk to the dude in the bearpaw slippers...
Excuse me, what's your name?
Are you serious, man? I'm the King!
King of what?
King of rock n' roll, man! I'm Elvis!
The Elvis?! But I thought you were ... well, you know ... dead.
Aw, that was all a hoax, man! The pressure was getting to me. I needed a break!
(Break) Break from what? All your fame?
Thank you! Thank you very much!
(Music) Where is that awful music coming from?
I wish I knew, man! That stuff is for the birds!
(Patients) Do you know anything about the other patients?
They ain't patients! These are my fans, man! Lemme tell ya, these are the best fans in the world!
That was as useful as a halfbrick to the face. Further down we find a man in a tutu. I kind of don't want to, but let's talk to him.
Excuse me, what's your name?
Skippy!
Huh. I doubt that. But ok.
(Music) Where is that awful music coming from?
I don't know, Q-tip!
Q-tip?
Yeah! Your big cotton head looks like it belongs in a big ear! Woo hee hee hee hee!
(Patients) Do you know anything about the other patients?
Very funny, old man.
Very funny old man! Hee hee hee!
We're definitely back in the asylum alright. There's a bunch of orderlies walking around as well.
Excuse me, what's your name?
Stan Dumbrowski. Don't forget it!
Stan Dumb-Brow-ski? Subtle.
(Where) Where am I?
Da courtyard.
(Sane) I'm not crazy! I shouldn't be here!
Yeah. Really showing your sane-face there, Max.
Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed!!
(Music) Where is that awful music coming from?
Doc's doin' some kind of test in da observation room.
Oh. What kind of test?
How should I know, maggot?
You can tell each orderly about your amazing experience.
Stan is not impressed.
Ah, shuddup!
There's 4 orderlies walking around, with a lot of similarly unhelpful things to say. I'll just transcribe parts of the dialogue instead of the whole thing (in fact I'll start skipping through dialogues for relevant parts more in this and future updates).
Some of them definitely lack some schooling, like Hector here:
Excuse me, what's your name?
Why do you damn loons always gotta talk so damn much?! Christ! My name's Hector! Hector Vasquez! Now get the hell away from me, you look like a god-damned mummy!
(Mummy) Why is my head all wrapped up like this?
Cause you're so freakin' ugly, I guess! Heh heh heh! OK, Mummy man. I'll be straight with you. You see, when the little green men came to -
Ah, forget it you jerk.
(Music) Where is that awful music coming from?
You mean you don't see the orchestra full of pink elephants?
Very funny.
Hmph! I guess you lost your sense of humor when you lost your marbles!
The other two orderlies are significantly more friendly, at least.
Excuse me, what's your name?
A car wreck?
(Music) Where is that awful music coming from?
Oh, the observation room. Dr. Morgan said that he was doing some auditory experiments ... whatever that means.
With this music, it's more like Guantanamo Bay-style torture. Still... Dr. Morgan! We'll finally meet him.
(Town) I know this will sound nuts, but I was just in this weird little town where a huge alien plant killed all the adults, but not the kids.
You're right.
You ... you mean you believe me?
No. I mean it sounds nuts. Just take your pill, Max, and you'll feel better.
And the last orderly.
Excuse me, what's your name?
John Whitefoot, Max. Don't you remember?
No. I'm sorry.
(Where) Where am I?
The Asylum, of course. In the courtyard. We had to evacuate the tower cells, because of the explosion.
(Explosion) What explosion?
The generator. I was supposed to be repaired this week. I guess they were a little too late.
Oh. What about all the patients up there?
I'm afraid you were the only one who survived, my friend.
All those guys from the first chapter are...dead? Harsh. At least I don't have to feel so guilty about startling Fat-Slacks-Down-Guy to his death.
I'd say 15 or so. The fire spread quickly after the second explosion. Then there was no way to reach them in time, but, how did you manage to escape?
I'll remind everyone we opened up with a dialogue in which two orderlies decided to leave me behind to die. Bet it was Stan and Hector. The bastards!
If I told you, you'd think I'm really insane
Try me. I'd like to know how you survived this disaster.
(Town) I know this will sound nuts, but I was just in this weird little town where a huge alien plant killed all the adults, but not the kids.
I see.
Ah, you must think I'm as loony as the others.
No, that's not true. I have my own theory on what could have happened to you.
(Theory) What's your theory?
Huh. Maybe you're right ... but it all seemed so real.
Your mind is capable of wondrous things, Max. In your head, it was real.
Max's mind is more capable of fucked-up things as far as I can see. Not that the real world is that much better, look at that ugly-ass fountain.
Let's talk to the sad, hooded woman sitting in front of the door.
Doctor? Are you my doctor?
This triggers a flashback!
Shit's bicycle, Max is/was a doctor?
Doctor? Are you all right?
I am a doctor! I'm okay. Thank you. Yes, I am a doctor, but I don't work here.
I don't think you work anywhere, Max, good buddy.
Oh. I was hoping you were a new doctor. Since my friend stopped talking to me I've been so lonely. I need someone to cure him so he could talk to me again.
In case you're wondering why she would confuse a bandaged, asylum-dressed Max for a doctor, she appears to be blind. At least, her eyes are iris-less.
(Friend) Who is your friend?
Crag.
What's wrong with him? Does he have laryngitis?
I ... I don't know ... maybe. All I know is that he hasn't visited or talked to me in a while.
Has Crag gone away? Maybe he was released from the Asylum and didn't tell you.
No. He wasn't a patient here. He just used to visit me by the fountain on sunny days.
The heck? Not a patient, but he is at the Asylum (all the time, if she needs a doctor from the Asylum), but only on sunny days?
(Lonely) Why are you so lonely? I mean, there are other people here to talk to.
I'll bet you are pretty, under that heavy hood. Why do you hide your face?
Since Crag stopped visiting me, I don't want to show my ugly face to anyone.
Stop talking like that! You're not ugly!
You're just being polite. You don't fool me.
Prototypical attention whore.
(Doors) Where do these big doors lead? It sounds like someone's inside.
How did the preacher get inside if the chapel doors are stuck?
He must've had help from his little lackey, Norm.
We Shepard open the door. Notice the crazy clown stained-glass window to the left. The makers of Sanitarium seemed to have a good grasp of the inherent scary insanity of clowns. But before we go in, let's talk to some more patients. There's a crazy girl licking her lip to our right.
Excuse me, what's your name?
My name is Vera, I think it sounds nice, I ate my husband with carrots and rice!
(Patients) Do you know anything about the other patients?
They'd be yummy in my tummy!
What do you mean by that?
Umm, okay. Talk to you later. Bye.
Crazy indeed. There's one last patient on the courtyard, a man sitting on a bench with a big fish.
Excuse me, what's your name?
Sir, yes sir! Eh? Who the hell are you? Lemme alone! Can't an old man get any rest around this ship?
(Music) Where is that awful music coming from?
Huh? Quit talking to me! I need to sleep off my hangover from shore leave!
Inside we find the good doctor, and an old record player apparently hooked up to the outside speakers. There's three records near it, which we pick and will try later.
Hello? You must be Doctor Morgan ...
Hm? Oh! We thought we'd lost you in the fire, Max. Where have you been?
Jeesh, didn't they even count the bodies or summat? Also, how can he not have been aware of Max being alive still if we heard him talking to Max at the chapter-switch? Hrrrrmmmzzz.
I ... I was somewhere else for a while ...
Hmmm, it might be for the best if the doctor doesn't know about Max's little tr...
(Away) I didn't just go 'away' in my mind, Dr. Morgan! I was in an actual place! A small town ... with children ... they were real!! They -
Well played, Max.
Now, Max, don't get all excited. I can have one of the orderlies restrain you if necessary. Will it be necessary, Max?
No. I'm fine.
(Well) I want to get well, doctor. But I have so many strange thoughts ... unanswered questions ...
Curiosity is a good thing, Max. I wish I had some answers for you. Perhaps we can talk later, after my work here is done.
(Fire) What fire? What happened?
The generator exploded. Too bad about all of those others in the tower. We could only save so many.
(Others) Others?! What do you mean?!
Don't you understand, Max? The fire, it wiped out all of the cells in the tower, everyone inside ... You're lucky to be alive.
No one seems to be bothered by this ... Does anyone know what happened to make the generator explode?!
(Notes) What are you writing, doctor?
I'm conducting an experiment. The effects of different types of music on all the patients.
Before we start fucking with people's minds by mixing up some music, let's head into the church.
Ohkay? That's...pretty weird. You might not be able to tell, but the dude before the dias has his wrists shackled to his legs. 's a bit extreme.
Excuse me, what's your name?
I am saint Norman, Disciple of Bob.
Disciple of Bob?! What faith is that?
It is the truth! Bob's word is truth! He is the eyes and ears of God! Oh glorious and most holy of Bobs! Bob is the most Bob of all! Hallelujah! Praise be to Bob!
wtf
(Sermon) The preacher seems to be interested in the sin of stealing? Did something happen?
Oookay, thanks for clearing that up for me.
(Spirited) The preacher seems to be pretty riled up. Is he always like this?
No. But one of the evil sinners took something very valuable from the House of Bob! There we are watchful of all who would approach! Stay back!
But all I want to do is talk to the preacher!
Then do it from here!
And do it from here he did.
Excuse me, what's your name?
My name? Disciple Norman! This lost sheep seeks the truth!
Seek the truth, preacher!
Amen, Norman! I go by many names, my child, but you may call me Preacher Bob.
And you may call me...Tim.
(Sermon) You seem to be quite ... well ... energetic about the topic of stealing. Why is that?
Oh, the wicked are among us, my friend! They spread their vile ideas and sinful thoughts like a cancer! And now, the sinners have desecrated the sanctity of His house!
(Desecrated) Desecrated? How did they do that?
Amen, preacher!!
Thank you, Norman!
(Symbol) What did this holy symbol look like? Maybe I'll come across it.
They stole no less than the sacred cross of the church, my son! A golden testament to His good word!!
(Parishioners) Your parishioners seem a little, um ... wooden.
The lost sheep doesn't recognize the flock, brother Norman!
Open his eyes, Father!
Um, okay, if you say so.
Time to mess with some heads. We have three records, The Ballad of Captain Dick, Belladonna in A Flat, Rocky Billy Swing Things, and The Donner Party Waltz is currently playing.
Predictably, Rocky Billy Swing Things makes the King dance.
What do you think about the record that's playing now?
We can also talk to Skippy about this record.
What do you think about the record that's playing now?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo who?
If you play The Ballad of Captain Dick, the little fishlover dances.
Thanks for the comment, Max, I really needed that mental image.
The last one, Belladonna in A Flat, sees Skippy get up to dance in his tutu.
Very disturbing ... Yet I can't look away.
While I have no wish to know what Skippy has under his tutu, we do take the cross.
What do you think about the record that's playing now?
I love it. It makes me very happy. It reminds me of my late wife, Evelyn.
Oh, I'm sorry. Do you miss her?
Miss her? Ha! That old battleaxe? Hee hee! I'm delirious with joy that she kicked the bucket before me!
Heh. He seems pretty sane to me.
We take the relic back to Bob.
(Found) I've found your lost symbol, preacher.
What's that?! Praise the lord indeed!!
Praise the Lord!
Come forward, my son!
A Staff of Righteousness! Awesome! I wonder what kind of stat bonuses it gi...wait, this is just an old broom.
Hallelujah!
Thanks ... I'll, um ... I'll use it for the good of mankind.
Hallelujah! Amen!
The good of mankind, in the normal diagonal logic of adventure games, means prying open the waterworks thingy next to the fishman.
Inside's a puzzle. There's 4 flows of water going in, and you have to connect them so all go to a single pipe to activate it. For instance, if we make them all go to the pipe above the fishman's head.
It bursts! Hurray, slapstick!
Refer to the map on the left to see what outlet goes where. We want to fill up the fountain, because I sense that has something to do with Crag.
Hurray!
She's dancing for joy at having her friend back. Yaaaay!
I fixed your fountain. Has your friend returned?
Oh yes!! I'm so happy! Crag has returned! Can't you see him? Isn't he glorious?
As a matter of fact no, no I can't. Let's check out the fountain.
What now? You can talk to it, which triggers a cutscene...
The heck, who's talking?
Of course. It's Crag, the magical talking gargoyle reflection. Makes sense.
That's a tough question though. What's my greatest wish?
I ... wish that I could see my sister again.
Oh good one! Wait, what? Who? We trigger back to the naming flashback, but now it continues, and we get to see Sarah, our sister...
She doesn't look good
Please no more dead kiddies, game?
Hey squirt! Feeling any better?
Can you do me a favor, Max? ... Dolly ... the one dad won for me last year the circus ... Mr. Clown. Could you get it for me ... in the toy box?
Clowns again! Evil bastards...
Oh yeah! Sure!
Where is it?!
I can't find it, Sarah! I can't...
After that nice bit of childhood trauma, we transport to our next chapter.
We learned a lot in this chapter; Max used to be a doctor, his sister Sarah died young, which might well have been what caused him to choose that profession (assuming he was a medical doctor), clowns are evil, and everyone up in the tower is dead. No doubt we'll meet them again, knowing this game.
Next update we go back to full-blown insanity.