The Planet can go fuck itself for all I care! I ain't helping that son'bitch, no sir.
Alright, update time.
Chapter 71 - Spacial Spatialities
When we last launched off, Cloud, Cid and Yuffie were launched off! Into outer space! Whoa!
I finally made it... outer space... Let's see, how's the course set...?
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, old man! Do something!
That damn Palmer went outta his way to lock the Auto-Pilot device. We might not be able to change the course.
...this is the end?
Huh? What the hell are you saying? You're still young, and you give up that easily? I'm not gonna crash into Meteor.
We'll bail right before we crash into Meteor.
Umm... so what are we gonna do with the Huge Materia? If you don't want it, maybe you could give it to ME?
... If you want the materia, do whatever you want.
Cid? You sure about this?
...I dunno. I know what I said a minute ago.
So why don't you just go ahead and do whatever you think is right?
Well, there's no reason not to get the HUGE MATERIA so let's head to the right.
Welcome to HEY PUSH RANDOM BUTTONS
If you
punch in the right code, it'll unlock and you can get the Huge Materia!
So what order am I supposed to
enter the passcode in?
I dunno. Just try and
punch the code in randomly.
GEE. THANKS A LOT.
The code is Zero Square X X, and you're absolutely fucked if you don't get it right on the first try since you get three minutes before the materia locks itself down. Cid'll offer some hints like "gee, I'm sure the second symbol wasn't a triangle!" but that's about as helpful as eating shit and commiting suicide. I dunno, maybe I'm retarded or something but if there's a time where I think it's entirely justified to consult a walkthrough, it's for trial and error puzzles. Fuck trial and error puzzles. Fuck them in the left nostril with a Builder Bob jackhammer.
Cid agrees with me.
Alright then, we got what we came for. Let's get the hell outta here.
OH NO WHAT HAPPEN?
HEARD A SUSPICIOUS SOUND!
Yeah, they couldn't pass up on opportunity for drama, could they? Fucking bullshit.
GO ON WITHOUT ME!!
I can't go without my friends!
You're stupid! You're really "#¤%&!! stupid!
So anyway, Shera, who also was onboard the rocket, comes into the corridor and helps lift the debris off Cid.
Charming as always.
Oh, don't apologize! That's even worse. So anyhow, after this turn of events, the gang finally reaches the escape pod and...
So this is outer space... Man... it's the real thing. I'm really here in outer space... So long. Shinra No. 26...
POOF!
Alright, let's see how everyone on the planet reacts to that tiny ass explosion.
Well, first of all everyone is totally fucking blinded!
And Bugenhagen's star map is totally fucking exploded!
Bugenhagen is totally fucking son I'm disappoint!
He's totally shaking his fucking head in disappointment!
THIS RANDOM GUY SLAMS HIS FIST INTO THE GROUND! HE ARE DISAPPOINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, enough of that, I gotta wrap this up.
Well, to be fair you completely sabotaged their plan and made it impossible to succeed when you removed the Huge Materia from the rocket. Not that it would have succeeded anyway, but still... gotta admit that was kinda assholish of you, Cloud.
Meh.
Yep.
In the next update we pay a visit to Bugenhagen and get ourselves a new summon materia that is almost as useless as all the other summon materias combined! It's going to be awesome! See you then!
