Let Me Trainwreck Final Fantasy VII For You! (Completed!)

Oh, sarcasm stings!

So, when is the next episode comming? (Cause you know, i actually played the game wich makes it that much more fun)

DoppelG said:

My butt hurts!

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Get this man a pillow!

I'm not that sensitive as you are, sorry for stepping on your feelings. (Just so you know, i'm the master of sarcasm)

Playing FF VII is like shagging very fat women. There's no way I'll own up to doing it, but when no-one's looking....

Thats the spirit! (well atleast the analogy, not actually shagging fat bitches )

DoppelG said:

(Just so you know, i'm the master of sarcasm)

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Ah, another one bites the dust.
Didn't you know i'm the lord of oxymorons?
Oh, and never believe anything i say, trust me. :twisted:

(atleast not when i'm incorrect, wich i never am)

This was horrible. You basically fell face first on the floor then tried to play it off as if it was a joke that you intended.

Just stop

Can we also have an embargo on the parentheses? I hate parentheses.

Please, stop this pointless arguing and let's continue with the LP. I'm one of those that actually liked FF7, but under no circumstances would I play it again. Locue is a hero.

Mikayel said:

This was horrible. You basically fell face first on the floor then tried to play it off as if it was a joke that you intended.

Just stop

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Huh? Are you dumb?
I never said my original posts are intended as jokes.
WTH, why do i ever bother trying to explain myself to a complete and utter morons like you.

Haha, I'm so glad DoppelG proves himself a fucktard here as well as in another thread. Does he actually think "YOU AUTISTIC SQUAREHEAD" constitutes an insult? You might very well call someone a cad.

Wait, this IS kinda funny, i'm surrounded by nothing but fucktards being completely fucktardy against a fuckard game, right?
Is that not the point of this thread?
Anyways, the only guy that dares to criticize this fucktard thread is seen as the fucktard.
Thats kinda like the only sane guy being seen as the insane guy by a bunch of insane guys.
My original posts are legit criticism, not like the reply was anything but written in the same fucktardy manner as this whole thread though.
The point is not that he is a borderline autistic squarehead, wich he probably is, and don't mind trying to counterargument me anyways, cause you just don't, like ever, anyways. The point is that fucktards like you actually think they know shit cause a borderline autistic squarehead manages to be sarcastic and cynical about it. *applaus*.
Are you pulling my leg kid, or are you really that much of a fucktard that you can't stand someone taking things with a little grain of salt?
What a freaking joke.

Lesifoere said:

You might very well call someone a cad.

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A: Do you bite your thumb at us, Sir?

S: I do bite my thumb, Sir.

A: Do you bite your thumb at us, Sir?

S: No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I bite my thumb, sir.

G: Do you quarrel, Sir?

A: Quarrel Sir! No Sir.

EDIT: Ah, DoppelG. You refrained from using parentheses this time. Thank you.

No i didn't, whats your problem with paranthesis anyways?

Actually, don't really care.

Ok, i will just try to explain myself one more time.
I only tried to question the point of this thread.
The only reply i got was that i'm a FF fanboy or something irrelevant as that.
Geez, sorry for criticizing or atleast questioning the validicity of what seems to be the equivalent to the holy book for you guys.

DoppelG said:

I only tried to question the point of this thread.

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Why stop at this thread? What's the point of life? I think it needs to be discussed.

DoubleG, just stop whatever the fuck it is you think you're doing. You're not being clever, you're not being funny, you're just trying to piss people off for no reason. And if you don't understand that, then I suggest you tie a rope around your neck and ask someone to pull it really hard. Why succeed at something when you fail at everything else?

Enjoy the thing for what it is, man. I'm going to update in a few minutes.

In the wake of the disaster known as the DoubleG-disorder, I have come to the conclusion that this will have to be my very last update of Let's play Final Fantasy VII. Yes, I know. I can understand your reactions, but please... put the gun down and let the little girl come out. Accepting this decision have not been easy but I think we can all agree that it is not worth playing a game if it makes me look stupid!

So instead I'm going to have Colin Farrell do it instead and no one will be able to say a bad thing about him! Say hi to Colin, everyone!

I'm the real Colin Farrell! I was in Phone Booth. Check it out!

Are you ready to do this, buddy?

Of course! :D

Oh, and if anyone who claims to be a creater of destruction drops by, just throw a phone at them! :wink:

You're confusing me with Russel Crowe!

Oh well. My bad.

I'll think of something. Maybe I'll throw a dictionary at them!

Or a cheese sandwich!



Take it away, dude!
_____________________________________________________________

When we left our heroes, the seventh sector had been, like, totally destroyed and Barret had emptied eleven rounds of machine gun ammunition bullet thingies into the rubble. Some of them bullets ricocheted and hit Tifa in the chest.
Goddamn, Barret! You take my silicone implants for granted!
Eventually they all decided to pay Aeris' mom a visit. Well, shit, why not? That little momma seemed to know a lot more than she let in on from the way she chased Cloud out the house!



That's right. There was no turning back then and there's definitely no turning back now! Just like when I was filming Phone Booth, my character was like getting into this phone booth and there was no turning back for him too! Sure, these fellas probably doesn't have Kiefer Sutherland threatening to snipe 'em, but I can totally relate anyway because I'm so nice!



They're talking about Sephiroth here. It doesn't matter at all. We'll get an even better flashback later on dealing with it. That Sephiroth guy sure have a lot of angst, man. I'm sure he was raped a lot when he was two.

Before moving on, Cloud and the gang proved to be a bunch of cheaters, man. They turned around and went back and picked up a useless sense-materia before moving on.
Shit, Colin. There's no reason not to pick it up.
Guess not, but I'm so calling my buddy Kiefer on the phone right now. I'm gonna have you relate with me for real because of this treachery!
Whatever, Colin! Your movies suck!
HOW DARE YOU! Anyway, the little fucks enter that goddamn backwater town and talk to some guy.



Hell yeah, man!
Jesus Christ...
Fuck, I wish we could save Aeris already. I liked her! She liked me!
She's such a slut.
I LIKE SLUTS THAT LIKE ME!
Whatever. Let's go see that kid with the secret compartment again. Maybe stuff have changed.



Remember this little kid? We had the option to steal his five gil or leave it alone way back when. If you left his life savings alone he'll give you a turbo ether which is like a regular ether only it's turboed! You better save it for a really difficult boss fight or something.
Oh really?
Yeah, I really do have a feeling that'd be the best course of action to take regarding this item.
Barret, how the fuck did this guy get here?
Fuck should I know! Muthafuckas ain't telling a nigga shit!
Right.
If you stole his five gil he should be up here crying about how his older brother raped him in the ass because he couldn't keep an eye on his fucking money. You know, when we were filming Phone Booth, we never had any need for money on the set because the phone booth we used was fake.
Uh-huh...
No really, we tried to get a real one but they wouldn't let us shoot bullets through it.
That's the lamest thing I ever heard.
You shut up or I'll throw a dictionary at you, tank top! Now let's go see that mommy! Then we go climb a wall and save the woman I love!
The woman who had me dress up as a girl.
Don't be that way, bitch.



Oh great. Some mom you are!
What?!
Watch out, you don't know what she can do with a rolling pin!
A rolling pin? Fuck, Cloud, maybe all she can do with a rolling pin is bake cookies!? Ever think of that? Yo, lady! How could you let them take your daughter away like that?
They had guns!
Oh, so battling people with guns ain't part of your rolling pin skills?
...
ARE THEY?!!
No.
That's right. 'Course, a real mom wouldn't have cared. She'd have jumped right at them guns to save her kid. That's how mommies work, lady. You're not Aeris' mom, are ya?
... no.
Damn, Colin is effective!
Muthafucka sure's savin' us lotta time!
Don't say that. This is still much longer than it takes for the average player to hammer the action-button to skip all the text.



Yo, it's flashback time, y'all!



Yeah, Elmyra's telling us this story about how she met Aeris and Aeris' mom. Turns out she won't get to the point for some time though. Well, let's just fast forward for a bit. Elmyra's husband went to fight the samurai warriors and never came back, but Elmyra was like all "you're coming back, you goddamn idiot!" and so she wouldn't give up. Damn bitch. She went to the damn train station every day. 'Course, her husband was never there. One day though...



Aeris' mom forgot to mind the gap and fell and broke her neck. Her last words were "take care of Aeris" so that's what I did. Of course, I regretted my decision every day. Man, that kid was a pain!



Holy crap, that kid was everywhere! And she never shut the fuck up! It was always this and that about the planet and the flowers and her boobs were growing and the Shinra were evil and my husband was dead! It was always something new every goddamn day!



Naturally, I smacked her ass! My husband wasn't dead and he sure as hell wasn't in league with some damn planet! He probably ran away with his buddy Johnny! That Johnny... I never trusted that gay looking fuck one bit. Anyway... one day the Shinra came for a visit. But they had words this time.



He talked about how Aeris heard voices and stuff. That she could bring happiness to the world by leading Shinra to the promised land and all kinds of bullshit. I was standing there, waiting for a check but it never came to that ever!



You might be right. Of course, they might also choose to perform experiments on her and try sexing her up with red tigers!
What?!
... uh, I think you're thinking too much into this, Colin.
Mark my words! Unless we hurry we're gonna see "Girl on Tiger #3" out on the market with Aeris' name on it!
Yo, stop thinkin' too damn much into this shit. I wanna see my daughter 'fore we do anythin'!
YOUR DAUGHTER?! WE NEED TO HURRY!
Relax. We're not on some time limit here, Colin.
Yeah, this isn't a movie.



That's disturbing.
Yeah, are the whiskers hurting Marlene or are the whiskers' the ones in hurt here?
GO TALK TO BARRET SO WE CAN GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!



Hey wait, we have some date mechanics to get through first.



Obvious choices, really, the first one gives...
YADA YADA YADA YOU'RE STILL FUCKING BARRET WE HAVE TO MOVE!


Let's head over to Wall Market and look for clues!
CLUES?!
It's like a mystery!
GIRL ON TIGER #3! THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING!


Alright, in the next update we're gonna raid Shinra HQ! GIRL ON TIGER #3 and 4! See you then!

DoppelG said:

Huh? Are you dumb?

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Unbelievably so.

WTH, why do i ever bother trying to explain myself...

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I don't know but you should definitely stop.

I remember watching Phone Booth. It was an alright movie. I'm surprised a sequel hasn't been made of it.

Phone Booth 2: This time he's calling collect

Maybe he'll be confined to something else. A changing room? A shower stall?

DoppelG said:

(..stupid fanboy idiocy..)

OH SNIP

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Honestly, it's moronic posts like these that will actually cause me to stop reading this forum. I liked this place in the past because there seemed to be a minimal amount of them, but they seem to be increasing of late.

Fez said:

Phone Booth 2: This time he's calling collect

Maybe he'll be confined to something else. A changing room? A shower stall?

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I'd watch that actually. Hell, I'd produce it.

Colin Farrell walks into the shower with his waterproof cellphone and proceeds to smear soap all over himself, unbeknownst to him that the SOAP is a BOMB - madman Ray Liottas handiwork! How long can Colin Farrell stay in the shower, on the phone!?

Well at the very least it'll get a lot of attention from women and the gays.

Personally i think you're missing a trick with an explosive port-o-potty seat.