Ooooh, FF7-fanboys!
First off, let's leave autistim the fuck alone. It doesn't have anything to do with this and it made me read a bunch of bullshit into your post. Whether or not you mean said bullshit, it's unnecessary and stupid so let's just leave it there.
That said, yes, I think we all live in our own little world from time to time. Mine happens to be FF7 lego brick land.
DoppelG said:
So, this is for people who actually never played FF7, right? (thats sad)
"Lets read a guy's sarcastic cynical remarks about a game so we won't have to play it", right?
More like "let's read some guy make fun of a completely stupid piece of shit game and the people who likes it!" Judging from your reaction, I succeeded.
I'm so kewl!
Thank you!
Awwww....
its so overly sarcastic and cynical to the point of borderline autistic that i have to question wether or not people are that retarded to think pointing out the obvious -makes no sense- aspects of games (duh, ofcourse ranged should be more dangerous then melee, atleast in RL, are you that stupid you feel the need to point out the obvious? Dumb smartass) is either smart or not pointless.
Tifa: Look, the pillar is still standing!
Cloud: Yes, it looks like you're right!
Tifa: We have to help Barret!
Cloud: Yes, but first we have to stand around and talk for a bit. Oh look, Wedge fell to his death. How horrible.
Tifa: Yes.
Cloud: Aeris, go take care of a little child you have never before seen in your entire life. She should be at the bar.
Aeris: Alright.
Aeris runs off.
Cloud: You will know its the right kid because she's the only one with a...
Tifa: Too late. She's gone.
Cloud: Oh well, I'm sure she'll manage anyway.
Tifa: We have to help Barret!
Cloud: Yes, let's go help Barret! He's been standing up there shooting at stuff for hours now.
Tifa: How come all his squad dies but he lives?
Cloud: He's important to the plot.
Tifa: I want to be important to the plot too!
Cloud: Don't worry, Tifa. You are.
Tifa: I'm so glad this is an adventure game and not one of those horrible roleplaying games where you have to choose stuff.
Cloud: Yes, I'm glad that is the case. The only choices I have to make is who I want to date!
Tifa: That is so much easier.
Cloud: It sure is.
Barret: MOTHERFUCKER! MOTHERFUCKER! MOTHERFUCKER!
Cloud: That's Barret. He speaks offensive because he's of the dark race. He want us to run up to him.
Tifa: Then let us do so.
And earlier:
Barret: Let's go left!
Soldiers walk in from the left.
Barret: Oh no. Let's go the other way.
Soldiers walk in from the right.
Cloud: A trap?
Evil president: Haha, you fell right into my trap.
Barret: Damn, we fell for his trap.
Tifa: Oh no!
What we're ridiculing here is the constant railroading, hand-holding and complete lack of sense of a game that is widely upheld as the greatest game ever by millions of millions of fucktards. The game is stupid, that's the bottom line and people who think it's a good game are stupid as well. That's how it is. It is NOT in touch with reality and the same goes for the people defending it. It says stupid things, does stupid things and expects the player to be stupid as well. Probably even more so than the game. That is the ONLY explanation I can think of.
Guy: Alright, for this minigame you must press these buttons in order as fast as you can.
I click ok.
Guy: Do you understand? Press these buttons in order.
I click ok again.
And this time the minigame starts. But I'll be DAMNED if that's not yet ANOTHER complete set of instructions in the lower portion of the screen!
This is why the previous guy gave up trying to play the game. He couldn't handle this bullshit and I understand him. Fully. Completely. All the way. You'll notice some updates are not as well-written as others. That is because some portions of the game are so goddamn stupid you can't even bring in Colin Farrel waving a big fat dick around to save it.
(Btw, Colin Farrel is awesome and I love him.)
I don't consider it a game worthy of intelligent commentary and as such what you get is Colin Farrel, sex jokes and the occasional "nigger"-joke,
because a stupid game clearly requires a stupid player. It's that simple and I'm doing my best to prove it. AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN!
Got it? :wink:
Forget wether or not it makes sense in said game, doubtfull if such nuance wouldn't fly straight over your square head.
Oh ha ha ha! Now we're talking, Doofus!
Alright, now this could have been a perfectly alright lecturing if you hadn't felt the need to point out my square head in an attempt to insult me.
Even if having a square head - which is obviously FF7-legoland - is met with the constant sucking of one's cock by beautiful blonde barely legal pop stars with excellent tits and Angelina Jolie-lips, I'm hurt, I truly am, because I value my oddly shaped head so much. Also I'm more into redheads anyway.
This is why you don't deserve a good response, because shit like that is not needed here. It's stupid and it doesn't belong in an argument. It proves the point I made about FF7-fanatics and whether or not you think FF7 is a good game, you are now kicked into that demographic.
Never heard of minimalism? Try it.
Ever heard of wiping before you take a shit? It's the same thing. A waste of time. If you got something to say, say it like you're taking a shit instead of just trying to squeeze it out in small doses like you did here.
Oh and hey, by all means please stick around but grow a fucking brain and stop taking things so seriously just because we make fun of your religion. A'ight? :wink:
Also: I hope I don't know you.