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Let's press the button of awesome - Stolen memos found

Should Bethany accompany Hawke to the Deep Roads?

  • Yes

    Votes: 2 66.7%
  • No

    Votes: 1 33.3%

  • Total voters
    3

Frau Bishop

Erudite
Joined
Aug 16, 2005
Messages
2,147
Location
Mitten im Vaterland
Varric said:
You'll need to hear the whole story.
Grandfather, tell me a story! :manowar:

Yea, let's here the story. I'm all set for a night of nonsense and cheap liquor. So, please, continue.
 

Bubb

Barely Literate
Joined
Jan 28, 2011
Messages
295
Fowyr said:
da2lp1c5.jpg

What. The. Fuck.
This not running shoes and victim of road accident.

Lol, I love it how the boots still stand straight after the whole body of the darkspawns squish into blood sprays magically.

So extreme, bro. So extreme.
 

circ

Arcane
Joined
Jun 4, 2009
Messages
11,470
Location
Great Pacific Garbage Patch
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. EVERYTHING JUST FUCKING. EXPLODES.

AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AlsoI'mgoingtoeventuallyhavetoplaythisgameanyway.Imeanfucklookatthosetits.
 

Canus

Savant
Joined
Jan 26, 2011
Messages
647
I can see this LP consisting of much :incline:
And derp. Shitloads of derp.
 

treave

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Jul 6, 2008
Messages
11,370
Codex 2012
circ said:
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. EVERYTHING JUST FUCKING. EXPLODES.

AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AWESOME. AlsoI'mgoingtoeventuallyhavetoplaythisgameanyway.Imeanfucklookatthosetits.

DONT BE FOOLED BRO TH E TITS ARE ONLY BIG IN THE OPENING THEY SHRINK 2 CUP SIZES IN tHE ACTUAL GAME

Also the whole "exploding bodies out of their armor" thing is even more hilarious when you see it in action. You're so awesome your sword strikes have the effect of a massive hollow-point.
 

Needles

Scholar
Joined
Mar 19, 2007
Messages
118
Gondolin said:
Frau Bishop said:
Yea, let's here the story. I'm all set for a night of nonsense and cheap liquor. So, please, continue.

No, no, not one of those. A real story!

A real story?
Yes, tell me about when you were a boy!

:salute:
 

Twinkle

Liturgist
Joined
Sep 14, 2009
Messages
1,426
Location
Lands of Entitlement
It seems you guys and gals have fun even without me . Keep it up and don't forget to click often. :M

Also one suggestion for this LP (just my opinion) can you re-size the pics smaller say a 1024 size, in that the pics seem way to big and I have to scroll to read some of your comments on them (I use a 1280x1024 resolution when browsing the codex). They just do not really need to be that big. Just IMO.
+1

You're right. Done.

PART 2 - START THE TRUTHS!

At last we reach Create-a-Sim stage. I decided to go with somewhat unmanly type in order to appeal to widest possible audience. Unfortunately, this haircut is a close as you can get to spiky hair.

da2lp2a0.jpg


Importing final save from Origins is a total success.

da2lp2a1.jpg


It won't be pleasant for you or me. ;)

da2lp2a2.jpg


Intro.

da2lp2a3.jpg

da2lp2a4.jpg

da2lp2a5.jpg

da2lp2a6.jpg

da2lp2a7.jpg

da2lp2a8.jpg

da2lp2a9.jpg


Meet the family. This is Awesome. Awesome Hawke.

da2lp2b0.jpg


His doable mom and dumb young brother. Bethany is here, just didn't make it into the frame.

da2lp2b1.jpg


Mom is tired and falls on her knees.

da2lp2b2.jpg


Tasteful MILF rape? Sadly, no.

da2lp2b3.jpg


Bethany raises a firewall. Begone, you perverts. Hawke and his bro finish off the stragglers.

da2lp2b4.jpg


facecarver.jpg
I think that's all of them.

facebethany.jpg
For the moment.

facemom.jpg
Maker save us, we've lost it all. Everything your father and I built...

da2lp2b5.jpg


As you can see paraphrases in the retardo wheel don't match what Hawke is really saying at all.

facehawke.jpg
We have to get out of here while we still can.

facemom.jpg
Yes. You're right.

facebethany.jpg
We should have ran sooner! Why did we wait so long?

facecarver.jpg
Why are you looking at us? We've been running since Ostagar!

facehawke.jpg
Are you two insane? If we stand around, we'll die!

facemom.jpg
Please! Listen to your brother.

facecarver.jpg
Then let's go. Lead on.


So, the first taste of real kkkombat. You have only one active button - Pommel Strike. It is an useful ability to stun enemies but not exactly awesome.

da2lp2b6.jpg


Assuming direct control of Bethany. She has some decent stuff from the very beginning. HOT!

da2lp2b7.jpg


Level up for Hawke. Stats are inherited from DA1. Nothing interesting.

da2lp2b8.jpg


Jump strike. The first button of coolness.

da2lp2b9.jpg


Where is mah quest compass, dude?!

da2lp2c0.jpg


facebethany.jpg
Wait! Where are we going?

facecarver.jpg
Away from the darkspawn. Where else?

facebethany.jpg
And then where? We can't just wander aimlessly!

facehawke.jpg
We stay alive. That's the only thing we need to worry about right now.

facemom.jpg
We can go to Kirkwall.

facehawke.jpg
What? Why would we go there?

facebethany.jpg
There's a lot of templars in Kirkwall, Mother...

facemom.jpg
I know that, but we still have family there - and an estate.

facebethany.jpg
Sighs Then we need to get to Gwaren and take ship.

facecarver.jpg
If we survive that long. I'll just be happy to get out of here.


The darkspawn, well, spawn out of the thin air. Even Call of Duty devs try to mask spawn points. Bioware is too cool for such a pointless LARPing.

da2lp2c1.jpg


It seems we are not alone in our fight with darkspawn. A woman (?) and her templar husband are trying to defend themselves.

da2lp2c2.jpg


Ouch.

da2lp2c4.jpg


OOOUUUUGGGGHHHH. A woman ownz a hurrlock with bare fists. Pay attention at the spike. :M

da2lp2c5.jpg


faceaveline.jpg
You will not have him!


SAUSAGE!

da2lp2c6.jpg


faceaveline.jpg
They will not have you!


We got the memo. :roll:

da2lp2c7.jpg


faceaveline.jpg
Not while I breathe.


Don't worry, lady. Comrade Awesome to rescue. 11111111111111111111

da2lp2c8.jpg

da2lp2c9.jpg


It's over.

faceaveline.jpg
Stop squirming, Wesley. You'll make it worse.

facewesley.jpg
Apostate, keep your distance.

facebethany.jpg
Well, the Maker has a sense of humor. Darkspawn, and now a templar. I thought they abandoned Lothering.

facewesley.jpg
The 'spawn are clear in their intent, but a mage is always unknown. The Order dictates...

Hey, dude, you are supposed to be dead already.

faceaveline.jpg
Wesley.

facewesley.jpg
That woman is an apostate. The Order dictates...

da2lp2d0.jpg


faceaveline.jpg
Dear, they saved us. The Maker understands.

facewesley.jpg
Of course.

faceaveline.jpg
I am Aveline Vallen. This is my husband, Ser Wesley. We can hate each other when we're safe from the horde.

facehawke.jpg
So long as you know I stand with Bethany, templar.

facewesley.jpg
Understood.

faceaveline.jpg
For now, we move with you. North is cut off. We barely escaped the main body of the horde.

facecarver.jpg
Then... we're trapped! The Wilds are to the south! That's no way out!

facehawke.jpg
I'm not running straight into the horde. We go south.

Bethany: friendship (+15)
Carver: rivalry (+5)



Bethany receives a promotion.

da2lp2d1.jpg

da2lp2d2.jpg


Moving further along the corridor. The game introduces a new kind of enemies - darkspawn bolters. They are nasty faggots thanks to the perfect aim and thus an ability to break mage's spells with ease.

da2lp2d3.jpg

da2lp2d4.jpg


More of them. This fight doesn't go too well.

da2lp2d5.jpg


Yet we are victorious in the end.

da2lp2d6.jpg


Aveline gets a new level. Generic tank with generic abilities.

da2lp2d7.jpg

da2lp2d8.jpg


da2lp2d9.jpg


That ogre again.

da2lp2e0.jpg


facecarver.jpg
You soulless bastards!


da2lp2e1.jpg


Shameless copypasta:

rollmage.jpg


facemom.jpg
Carver!

da2lp2e2.jpg


Note that the ogre behaves like a real gentleman, turning his gaze away from the mourning mother. :retarded:

Warriors keep the ogre busy, while Bethany chips away his HP.

da2lp2e3.jpg


Ouch. The warriors are down. Game over? Not at all.

da2lp2e4.jpg


Show 'em advanced tactics. Bethany runs in circles are throws fireballs from time to time while the ogre headbutts darkspawn.

da2lp2e5.jpg


Not harder than the tutorial. Just more tedious.

da2lp2e6.jpg


da2lp2e7.jpg


facemom.jpg
Carver, wake up! The battle's over! We're fine!

faceaveline.jpg
I'm sorry, Mistress. Your son is gone.

facemom.jpg
No! These things will not take Carver!

facehawke.jpg
If you fall apart now, you endanger us all.

facemom.jpg
Don't lecture me! This is your fault!

facemom.jpg
How could you let him charge off like that? Your little brother! My little boy!

facebethany.jpg
Mother, we can't stay here. Carver wouldn't want his sacrifice to be meaningless.

facewesley.jpg
Allow me to commend your son's soul to the Maker, Mistress.

da2lp2e8.jpg


facewesley.jpg
Ashes we were, and ashes we become. Maker, give this young man a place at your side. Let us take comfort in the peace he has found in eternity.

facemom.jpg
I will never forget you, Carver.

da2lp2e9.jpg


facehawke.jpg
Leave him. The darkspawn are gaining by the minute.

faceaveline.jpg
Flames! We're too late.


Cut it, Bioware. Really.

da2lp2f0.jpg

da2lp2f1.jpg


facebethany.jpg
There is no end to them.


da2lp2f2.jpg


ROOFLES!

napalm-bombing.jpg


da2lp2f3.jpg


And the dragon turns into...

da2lp2f4.jpg

da2lp2f5.jpg


Sup, Kreia.

da2lp2f6.jpg


faceflemeth.jpg
Well, well, what have we here?

faceflemeth.jpg
It used to be we never got visitors to the Wilds, but now it seems they arrive in hordes!

facehawke.jpg
Impressive. Where'd you learn how to turn into a dragon?

faceflemeth.jpg
Perhaps I am a dragon.

faceflemeth.jpg
If so, count yourself lucky. The smell of burning darkspawn does nothing for the appetite.

faceflemeth.jpg
If you wish to flee the darkspawn, you should know you are heading in the wrong direction.

facebethany.jpg
Wait! You can't just leave us here!

faceflemeth.jpg
Can I not?

faceflemeth.jpg
I spotted a most curious sight: a mighty ogre, vanquished! Who could perform such a feat?

faceflemeth.jpg
But now my curiosity is sated, and you are safe... for the moment. Is that not enough?

da2lp2f7.jpg

:M

facehawke.jpg
You could show me that trick of yours. That looks useful.

faceflemeth.jpg
Laughs

faceflemeth.jpg
If only a clever tongue was all one needed!

faceflemeth.jpg
Tell me, clever child: How do you intend to outrun the Blight?

facebethany.jpg
We need to get to Kirkwall -- in the Free Marches.

faceflemeth.jpg
Kirkwall? My, but that is quite the voyage you plan.

faceflemeth.jpg
Your king will not miss you, hmm?

facehawke.jpg
King Cailan was betrayed. There's nothing for me here.

faceflemeth.jpg
I see.

faceflemeth.jpg
Hurtled into the chaos, you fight... and the world will shake before you.

faceflemeth.jpg
Is it fate or chance? I can never decide.

faceflemeth.jpg
It appears fortune smiles on us both today. I may be able to help you yet.

facehawke.jpg
And we should accept your help? We don't even know what you are.

faceaveline.jpg
I know what she is. The Witch of the Wilds.

faceflemeth.jpg
Some call me that. Also Flemeth. Asha'bellanar. An "old hag who talks too much!"

faceflemeth.jpg
Does it matter? I offer you this: I will get your group past the horde in exchange for a simple delivery to a place not far out of your way. Would you do this for a "Witch of the Wilds"?

facehawke.jpg
I have to reach Kirkwall first.

faceflemeth.jpg
But you will do it.

faceflemeth.jpg
There is a clan of Dalish elves near the city of Kirkwall. Deliver this amulet to their Keeper, Marethari.

faceflemeth.jpg
Do as she asks with it and any debt between us is paid in full.

da2lp2f8.jpg

No, she isn't giving him a handjob. Just an amulet.

faceflemeth.jpg
Before I take you anywhere, however, there is another matter...

faceaveline.jpg
No! Leave him alone!

faceflemeth.jpg
What has been done to your man is within his blood already.

faceaveline.jpg
You lie!

facewesleytainted.jpg
She's right, Aveline. I can feel the corruption inside me.

facehawke.jpg
We can't afford that kind of liability.

faceaveline.jpg
No!

faceflemeth.jpg
The only cure I know of is to become a Grey Warden.

facehawke.jpg
And they all died at Ostagar.

faceflemeth.jpg
Not all, but the last are now beyond your reach.

facewesleytainted.jpg
Aveline. Listen to me.

faceaveline.jpg
You can't ask me this! I won't!

facewesleytainted.jpg
Please. The corruption is a slow death. I can't...

facehawke.jpg
Whatever you're going to do, do it. We can't wait.

da2lp2f9.jpg


facewesleytainted.jpg
Be strong, my love.

da2lp2g0.jpg

da2lp2g1.jpg


So the dagger penetrates plate armor and disappears without leaving a visible wound? Dark, dark magic.

faceflemeth.jpg
Without an end, there can be no peace.

faceflemeth.jpg
It gets no easier. Your struggles have only just begun.


Back to interrogation.

da2lp2g2.jpg


facecassandra.jpg
Flemeth.

facevarric.jpg
I thought that might interest you.

facecassandra.jpg
You expect to believe a myth swooped out of the Wilds to save the Champion?

facevarric.jpg
Oh, come now, Seeker. Do I need to recite the tale of the Warden as well?

facecassandra.jpg
No. Perhaps I shouldn't be surprised to hear of her involvement.

facevarric.jpg
I liked my version better, too.

facecassandra.jpg
What else you aren't telling me, then? Did she send someone with the Champion?

facevarric.jpg
In a manner of speaking.

facecassandra.jpg
So it's true. Continue. But if you tell me they all flew to Kirkwall on a dragon...

facevarric.jpg
Nothing so fanciful, I assure you.
 

chzr

Scholar
Joined
Jun 26, 2010
Messages
1,238
i'd like to know if anyone managed to kill the ogre on nightmare without taking a ranged char and running in circles :M
 

Storyfag

Perfidious Pole
Patron
Joined
Feb 17, 2011
Messages
15,899
Location
Stealth Orbital Nuke Control Centre
Twinkle said:
A woman (?) and her templar husband

Wait, what? Aren't templars a monastic order? With, you know, vows of celibacy? I (unfortunately) remember quite a lot of templar wangst because of this fact in DAO. Oh, right, Bioware. Bioware cannot into consistency.
 

chzr

Scholar
Joined
Jun 26, 2010
Messages
1,238
Pegultagol said:
So what determines whether the PC's sister or brother gets killed by the ogre?

class. sister gets killed when hawke is a mage
 

Bubb

Barely Literate
Joined
Jan 28, 2011
Messages
295
da2lp2f7.jpg


:lol:
 

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