Tacticular Cancer: We'll have your balls

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Information You Will Believe A Golden Baby Has Flown Before: Stones of Arnhem relics up for auction on eBay

Discussion in 'RPG Codex News & Content Comments' started by Infinitron, Nov 13, 2012.

  1. Infinitron RPG Codex Staff Patron

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    Tags: Cleveland Mark Blakemore; Sir-Tech; Stones of Arnhem

    As many of you may know, way back in the early 90s, D.W. Bradley, lead designer of the latter Wizardry games, departed from Sir-Tech Software along with his team. Left without any development talent to create the next installment in the highly successful series, the Siroteks, founders of Sir-Tech, decided (for some reason) to outsource the job to DirectSoft, their distributor in Australia.

    The new game was to be called Wizardry 8: Stones of Arnhem. Among the developers assigned to it were the late Australian actor Max Phipps (best known for his role as "The Toadie" in the film Mad Max 2), filmmaker Phil Moore, programmer Michael Shamgar, and, of course, medically approved living fossil Cleveland Mark Blakemore, developer of Grimoire.

    The troubled development cycle of this never released game has since become a staple of Codexian lore. Yet, outside the deranged ravings of certain Neanderthals, there has never been any tangible proof that Stones of Arnhem ever truly existed. That is, until now.

    A fellow named hotalibl showed up on our forums a few days ago, announcing that he had come into possession of a treasure trove of documents that had formerly belonged to Sir-Tech, which he intended to auction off. At first, he was naturally regarded with skepticism, as another in a long succession of trolls or even as a scammer.

    Then he started posting photos.

    [IMG] [IMG] [IMG] [IMG] [IMG]

    Gaze upon these images in awe. Stones of Arnhem was real. Cleve was right. Truly, the end times are upon us.

    The auction is currently live. As far as we can tell, the items are authentic, and hotalibl appears to be a highly reputable seller. You may, however, wish to wait a while longer before bidding on them personally, as rumor has it that mightier powers than I in the Codex hierarchy have shown an interest in acquiring these holy artifacts in a more organized fashion...
    Hellraiser, DwarvenFood, Vicar and 14 others Brofist this.
  2. Moribund A droglike

    Moribund
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    It's all true, even the cave painting stuff.

    Naeanderthals have all the answers and are the source of human genius! They had better quality art 32000 years ago than anything until the last century!

  3. Metro Magister

    Metro
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    hotalibl = Cleve.
  4. SuicideBunny tastier with special sauce

    SuicideBunny
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    oh, look, it even has an island group shaped like a shitting sea turtle...
    Hoaxmetal and Mother Russia Brofist this.
  5. Humanity has risen! Magister Patron

    Humanity has risen!
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    Way to blow our spot.
  6. KickAss Educated

    KickAss
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    Are we talking documents only, or is the mountain of dildos for sale as well?
  7. Deuce Traveler 2012 Newfag Patron

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    Mock if you must, but I for one have seen enough pictures of Arhhem penis monsters being auctioned off in hotalibl's online store to last a lifetime of nightmares. I fear in our quest to save Stones of Arhhem for prosperity, we will inadvertently summon into our world a homosexual version of the Overfiend from Urotsukidoji.
    Phelot Brofists this.
  8. Phelot RPG Codex Staff

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    Anyone interested in bidding should let me know so you can be added to the sekret DISCUSSion.
    NecrosD Brofists this.
  9. Norfleet Liturgist

    Norfleet
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    I see no evidence to indicate an actual game ever existed. Merely some artwork. Proves nothing. If this is your standard for existence, then that "Jeffington" Fallout thing also existed. Which we all know it didn't.
  10. Kosmonaut Lost in Space

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    Is there going to be a Codex money pooling to get these gems?
  11. iZerw Novice

    iZerw
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  12. abnaxus Cipher

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    [IMG]
    Hellraiser and NiM82 Brofist this.
  13. Kattze Cipher

    Kattze
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    There are some demos of the game within diskettes according to hotalibl.
  14. Infinitron RPG Codex Staff Patron

    Infinitron
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    What do you mean by "actual game"? Development never finished. There is no game.
  15. LundB Up in the Air

    LundB
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    As originally shown in the Sir-Tech thread, for the educational benefit of those who only read the news forums, my interpretation of how the sphincter-penisaurus might have looked in game if the artists were incompetent bastards unwilling to spend more than 20 minutes on a piece of work.

    [IMG]
    Fun Fact: Jaesun was the first person to brofist this image in the other thread. Coincidence? Doubtful.

    As you can see, it is a true tragedy that this game was being made in Australia, instead of lands where such a magnificent work of art and the visionary mind behind it would be properly appreciated.

    Basically, what I'm saying is:
    I am LundB, and I am here to ask you a question. Is Stones of Arnhem not entitled to release?
    'No,' says the man in Sir-Tech, 'it never existed.'
    'No,' says the man in the bunker, 'it was full of gay imagery.'
    'No,' says the man in RPGCodex, 'it isn't on Kickstarter.'

    I rejected those answers. Instead, I chose something different. I chose the impossible. I chose...

    Japan.

    A country where the penisaurus does not fear the ESRB/PEGI,
    where the Wizardry franchise is not forgotten by the masses,
    where the games are not constrained by good taste.

    And with the sweat of an unpaid Neanderthal's brow, Stones of Arnhem can be your game as well.
    After a translation patch. Oh, and I hope you like characters that look way underage (Max Phipps sure did!).
    Gurkog, covr, ghostdog and 22 others Brofist this.
  16. Infinitron RPG Codex Staff Patron

    Infinitron
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    :lol:
  17. UnknownBro Learned

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    And so the plot thickens... penisaurus.gif
  18. Deuce Traveler 2012 Newfag Patron

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    Dude! 1000x :bro:

    Horridly brilliant all around.
  19. Commissar Draco KKKodex WCDS Commissar Patron

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    :lol:
  20. Crispy єҳזּяằ сґїşρٻ™

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    Norman Sirotek was an illiterate buffoon. 'Dat letter!
  21. MaskedMan Sex God

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    Yeah let me in plz.
  22. Daemongar Learned Patron

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    I'm in.
  23. someone else Savant

    someone else
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    Buy it and show pics of the docs being burned.
  24. Kosmonaut Lost in Space

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    I'll pledge 20 bucks, so count me in.
  25. crafthack Novice

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    leaving aside all that weird gay stuff, I think an rpg based on Australian/aboriginal mythology would have been quite interesting, it's certainly almost never been done before and most other fantasy is based on medieval european type setting
  26. Dexter Erudite

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    mondblut and Unorus Janco Brofist this.
  27. NecrosD Literate

    NecrosD
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    Even if this guy is faking it which it does not seem at all like he is - I'm in this guy deserves money just for all the effort he'd have gone through.

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