Right. We got some late arrivals to the team. Give the new guys a welcome and make them draw straws for gear.
Sweet! I got a riot shield! bet you suckers wish you were getting extra protection!
CAN I TRADE ROCKETS FOR KNUCKLEDUSTERS? I WANT TO BE UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL!
Seriously? Everyone has been craving heavier weapons and you assign it to the one person who wants to be in melee range?
I got a murdershotgun. I'm content.
Ugh... I wish you would start carrying your portable radio around the base commander. I don't like sullying myself with breathing the same air as these... grunts.
Eh. A little exercise will do you good sciencedude. What have you got for me?
Excellent! We'll start cranking these out immediately! So should we focus on preliminary research for stun weapons or armor ne—
BETTER ARMOR!
4 days to build a plane? I can live with that. It should take us 5 days to have an extra hangar ready. Get to work, Ivan!
Phase two of base construction is complete! We have extra workspace in the labs and workshops now.
We have UFO contacts over Iran!
Meh... Sandniggers. They'r enot paying us for protection.
Actually, the Sheiks donated 50 camels and a Rolls Royce to your pers—
Scramble Interceptors!
Get a full nights rest people! You're departing to clean the crash site at dawn
Can I sit this one out commander? My old war wound is acting up?
Really, Tzaero? Really!? Get your ass in the helicopter before I have you flogged!
I haff a doktor note! See? It says "unfit for battle".
This looks suspiciously like your handwriting. But ERYfKRAD looks like he'll start gnawing at furniture if he doesn't get to perform violent acts soon. *sigh* Tell him to grab his rocket tube and take your spot in the chopper.
Contact! We need to clear a line of fire!
I SMASH PUNY OBSTACLE WITH BOOMTUBE!
Poland thanks you for your contribution for her greater glory!
OWW! Ok, who was the fucker that just shot me in the back?
*whistles innocently*
I have visual contact with the Xenoship!
You also ran right past a xeno without spotting it! Eyes open, rookie!
I SEE MORE WEAK FLESHTHINGS!
BOOMTUBE FAILS ME!
Good thing I'm in cover behind this brush and have an undamaged shield to pro—
AAAAAARGH!
Bam! Rookie avenged! I honestly have no idea why people are so desperate to have shields. They seem like they're cursed.
BOOMTUBE KNOCKS ON DOOR!
Yes! A static target to feed the thirst of Sascha! Booyah! Phoenix carries the team again!
We're ready to process the recovered aliens, Commander.
Code:
Project TURNCOAT interim report, 17th September 1979
I am pleased to announce that work has progressed ahead of the revised project schedule. We have
entered Enrichment phase B, which builds on previous work. In Enrichment phases A&B test subjects
are drugged using a alien-compliant synthetic derived from LSD, and exposed to a variety of high-quality
visual images, coupled with a mixture of ultrasonic and infrasonic sounds designed to impress the images
on the subject. The initial images and sounds in phase A are designed to break down and depress the
subjects' sense of self, as much a cult might break down a new member in preparation for its teachings
(but compressed into a much shorter period of time). In phase B, the images and sounds are designed
to fill the gap made in phase A with a new set of basic-level social and mental triggers. Subjects that
complete both phases A and B will be primed for interrogation by other staff and possibly repogramming
to become agents among their own kind.
Pleasure/pain conditioning is being trialled as an alternative to drug sensitisation as balancing the
increase in sensory acuity with mental stability and biochemical/neurological compatibility has been far
more difficult than previously expected. Work into exploiting the telempathic link between Caesan
subjects have been shelved to concentrate efforts on producing stable, primed subjects.
Please find attached to this report a requisition for more subjects. While I understand this is a sensitive
matter, the less than ideal conditions that project members have to work under necessitate higher burn-
through. I point out that this projects' worth has already been proven with the valuable information
passed on to project CLARITY regarding toxicological and neurobiological processes for both Sebillian and
Caesan subjects.
Henry Green,
Project Director
Addenda: I append the list of recently deceased subjects.
Subject C12. Adverse reaction to batch 10, sudden cardiac arrest.
Subject C13. Catatonia (complete withdrawal), euthanized.
Subject C14. Irretrievable state of amnesia, euthanized.
Subject C15. Toxic overdose (batch 10b), no response to recovery methods, asphyxiation.
We haff first prototype readik for you. Is good, da? Superior Soviet Tech for bringing glory to motherland.
What do you mean, "we can't wield them effectively"? Can't you just tweak the handle or add a stock to use it as a SMG!? I'm not convinced you fuckers arne't just being lazy.
WOOHOO!
sinc eyou eggheads are obviously too stupid to figure out how to retrofit a grip that' suable by wimpy greys, you better get cracking on an alternative firepower upgrade for me.
Question, sir.
What is it?
Why did you send the foxtrots out loaded with avalanche missiles? Won't the light scout UFOs be able to dodge those with ease?
Watch and learn
Bam! UFO can only dodge left or right! Pincer maneuvre, then hit it from the side and it cannot dodge.
BE VERY QUIET LITTLE WEAK FRIENDS! ERYFKRAD SNEAK MELEE LOADOUT ONTO FLAPPY FLY THING! NO MORE BOOMTUBE FOR BARBARIAN AM SMASH!
So we have a prototype of the new heavy armor suit ready for one lucky sol—
DIBS!
I hope everyone brought lunches! You're going to a second crash site after this.
ERYFKRAD AM SEE ENEMY! MAYBE IS NOT GOOD IDEA LEAVE BOOMTUBE AT HOME
Set up a distr- firing line while Sascha and I find a line of fire!
Ambush!
RAGE DESCENT ON ERYFKRAD! EAT GRENADE THROUGH WINDOW!
Surprise, Xenos! The beer at base was crap!
ERYFKRAD GRENADE AM SMASH PUNY WALL! IS MAKE WITH SHOOTING PUNY ALIEN NOW!
Ta mate. You are a good support to my glorious carry.
Siema, Xeno!
*yawn* ...waiting for the rifles to pop moles is not why I signed up for this gig.
....Hey. Did anyone see where Scrooge went?
Why the fuck are you not in formation, corporal?
Ah, there you boys are! I found friends!
And you're just the distraction I needed!
ERYFKRAD AM MAYBE MISS BOOMTUBE A LITTLE NOW
Then grab it from the chopper instead of whining. You realize the commander left it under your seat, don't you? FLASHBANGS OUT!
Polant stronk!
I'll take the last one up close while it's dazed!
ERYFKRAD MAYBE WANT SAME BOOMTUBE AS RUN OFF LADY!
You actually managed a full mission without killing yourselves? I'm shocked. Here, have some randomly assigned promotions.
How're the seats in those helicopters anyway?
There is no seat. Only hard metal floor. You said "seats cost money. I am not made of seats".
Oh. Right. I did, didn't I. How long do you think it'll take to fly from western Africa to North of India?
About 14 hours in the helicopter.
Really? Huh. whatever happened to those in-flight toilets on the plans.
You said "I am not made of toilets".
I did, didn't I?
ERYFKRAD AM REunitED WITH BOOMTUBE! MAKE MUCH MORE HURT THAN PUNY HANDGUN!
Wait... did additional suits of armor just teleport onto the helicopter?
*waves hand* I am not abusing a glitch in the loadout screen
You. Are. Not. Abusing. A. Glitch. In. The. Loadout. Screen.
*waves hand* The armor was always there.
The. Armor. Was. Always. There.
*waves hand* Put it on.
Excuse me. Farmers. Speak-a you eng-a-leesh? See any Xeno?
No contacts yet. Are you sure we landed in the right spot?
ERYFKRAD AM DEMAND TINY ALIEN SHOW ITSELF!
Contact! Flash out!
That's my cue! BLITZKRIEG!!!
Er.... Little help here guys?
The fuck? How did you manage to miss at that range with the entire spread?
The Kraut is on her own. Reported for feeding!
MEIN LEBEN!
....Wait. I'm alive? HA! Superior German armor wins the day! FEUER FREI!
Did that alien just wander into our line of fire without shooting? It'd be impolite not to take advantage.
Another? And it's not even my birthday!
Two missions in a row without you guys getting yourself killed!? This calls for celebration! Medals for everyone!
You told us: 'I am not made of medals'.
Medals for some people!
Ok. This one I can sort-of understand it could be tricky to retrofit for human hands. But I am still sad and confused. Also angry.
Well... I suppose we could settle for lasers. They'll do less damage than plasma weapons. But they'll look extremely stylish and futuristic in the 80s.
Make it so! Try to have it done quick. I just heard from mission command that one of our foxtrot shot down the largest UFO yet.
for LARP, most people cannot into good one. Soory.
