Review Witcher 3 10/10 GOTY Review Roundup

[Grotesque]

who was the not so prestigious magazine that was butthurt about the torture scene in Witcher 2 that included bare female breasts?
what score these morons gave to Witcher 3?

I see other morons complain about Witcher 3 graphics / texture quality. Doesn't matter because Witcher 3 will have the phun gameplay of Kerbal Space Program!
Other types of morons brag about how they received a free key by sucking a random guy's cock rich enough to afford a gtx 970.
Well, I received mine by wining a bet by shoving a gtx 970 in my ass so I win by not having a strange taste in my mouth for the next ten years when Cyberpunk 2077 comes to light.

 

[Cowboy Moment]

Infinitron, is the Codex getting a review copy? Surely CDPR wouldn't deny one to the prestigious magazine whose opinions they once so treasured!

 

[Paul_cz]

The moronretard Polylol AeGies is already vomiting on twitter about sexualized females

christ on a dildo

6/10 too many breasts

 

[Infinitron]

Infinitron, is the Codex getting a review copy? Surely CDPR wouldn't deny one to the prestigious magazine whose opinions they once so treasured!

Seems doubtful, but we could try. They aren't giving out keys until the game is actually released, so there's no early advantage here or anything.

 

[Brayko]

This is actually kind of hot.

And I typically don't like Witcher games because of their blatant George Martinism.

It is too early for the game to be reviewed properly, as it is known. The Codex should have 2 reviews per game at least 1 month after launch, that way you can sift between the two and decide if it's worth it. One reviewer will hate it, the other will enjoy it despite its flaws.

 

[Grinning Reaper]

This is actually kind of hot.

And I typically don't like Witcher games because of their blatant George Martinism.

Do you people not know about actual pornography? Is there some value to interjecting bad porn into your mediocre video game, apart from marketing to teenagers and other sexually frustrated people? Then again, I guess if you can only get off to redheads feeding each other blood, your sources may be somewhat limited.

you're right though, it is actually kind of hot

 

[Ulrox]

Do you people not know about actual pornography? Is there some value to interjecting bad porn into your mediocre video game, apart from marketing to teenagers and other sexually frustrated people? Then again, I guess if you can only get off to redheads feeding each other blood, your sources may be somewhat limited.

you're right though, it is actually kind of hot

Its simple - Males with high sex drive will find things - anything - with the shape of hotness to be hot. We're designed with a drive to impregnate any potential female host with our dark spawn of evil. We are truly simple minded beings. It doesn't matter if you have seen porn or not - what matters is the level of your sex drive. Hence the truth known as SEX SELLS. It is one of the few truths of the universe that are ABSOLUTE.

 

[GreyViper]

Damn that looks like chocolate, mmm chocolate. Yeah keep spreading that sweet stuff.

 

[Grinning Reaper]

Do you people not know about actual pornography? Is there some value to interjecting bad porn into your mediocre video game, apart from marketing to teenagers and other sexually frustrated people? Then again, I guess if you can only get off to redheads feeding each other blood, your sources may be somewhat limited.

you're right though, it is actually kind of hot

Its simple - Males with high sex drive will find things - anything - with the shape of hotness to be hot. We're designed with a drive to impregnate any potential female host with our dark spawn of evil. We are truly simple minded beings. It doesn't matter if you have seen porn or not - what matters is the level of your sex drive. Hence the truth known as SEX SELLS. It is one of the few truths of the universe that are ABSOLUTE.

Yeah, I know. I was just being an asshole

Damn that looks like chocolate, mmm chocolate. Yeah keep spreading that sweet stuff.

That's not chocolate. It's either something more disgusting than chocolate, or something much more disgusting than chocolate.

 

[Brayko]

Fuck I hope it's blood.

 

[Kz3r0]

Two girls one cup, the game, stay classy CDproject, apropos, most sold game of all time in Germany.

PS:
Can we include that GIF in the Codex smileis?

 

[Obama Phone 3]

Somebody needs to wipe down all NPC's with a towel because it looks like they are slathered in a thick coat of Vaseline. Then it will be 10/10.

 

[Obama Phone 3]

I'm glad the 10/10 "Early Access" Gamespot review got to pay all their staff's wages for this fiscal year.

 

[Black]

This is actually kind of hot.

Maybe if you're into scat.

 

[Obama Phone 3]

Damn that looks like chocolate, mmm chocolate. Yeah keep spreading that sweet stuff.

Period juice.

 

[commie]

Yes, YES my Codexian brethren!!!

Let me taste those delicious tears!!!

Envelop me with your wailing and gnashing of teeth!!!

Let me warm in the glow of a thousand scalded buttocks!!!


BUAHHAHHHHAAAHHH!!!!!!

 

[Toffeli]

Damn that looks like chocolate, mmm chocolate. Yeah keep spreading that sweet stuff.

Period juice.

 

[Amerilias]

from Polygon review:
"The Witcher 3 is a mixed bag. The gameplay is fun, the graphics are nice, the story is deep and interesting but it’s almost as if the developers went out of their way not to depict any automobiles. Sure you could argue that the game takes place in a time before such technological advancements but it’s a fantasy game depicting magic and all sorts of unrealistic beasts so there is really no excuse why there couldn’t be cars or at least a motorbike. Also there is a wide variety of food items available to restore your vitality but most of these items are forms of meat dishes.. making the game unnecessarily difficult for vegans on higher difficulties. The writers of The Witcher 3 also failed to address the social and financial difficulties of being a single father which I found distracting and unfortunate. Ultimately The Witcher 3 is a good game that falls short in a few key areas and may only be worth your time if you are a bachelor who prefers the outdated transportation method of enslaving horses and who feasts on an abundance of meat."

 

[Jools]

LOL @ gamespot.

 

[Metro]

from Polygon review:
"The Witcher 3 is a mixed bag. The gameplay is fun, the graphics are nice, the story is deep and interesting but it’s almost as if the developers went out of their way not to depict any automobiles. Sure you could argue that the game takes place in a time before such technological advancements but it’s a fantasy game depicting magic and all sorts of unrealistic beasts so there is really no excuse why there couldn’t be cars or at least a motorbike. Also there is a wide variety of food items available to restore your vitality but most of these items are forms of meat dishes.. making the game unnecessarily difficult for vegans on higher difficulties. The writers of The Witcher 3 also failed to address the social and financial difficulties of being a single father which I found distracting and unfortunate. Ultimately The Witcher 3 is a good game that falls short in a few key areas and may only be worth your time if you are a bachelor who prefers the outdated transportation method of enslaving horses and who feasts on an abundance of meat."

Too obvious.

 

[Black]

Yes, YES my Codexian brethren!!!

Let me taste those delicious tears!!!

Envelop me with your wailing and gnashing of teeth!!!

Let me warm in the glow of a thousand scalded buttocks!!!


BUAHHAHHHHAAAHHH!!!!!!

Who is butthurt and why?

 

[Jools]

I managed to skim through the polygon review. I'm not sure whether the guy is a genuine "male ally" and is actually as butthurt as he "sounds", or he is just trying to please femfreq and its ilk, maybe hoping to get a slice of the cake, next time some sort of gamergate scandal outbreaks. Further lulz ensue when this retard complains about the absence of PoC's.

This review is popamole/SJW, and doesn't actually say much about the game itself. 1/10, would not read again.

 

[karnak]

I managed to skim through the polygon review. I'm not sure whether the guy is a genuine "male ally" and is actually as butthurt as he "sounds", or he is just trying to please femfreq and its ilk, maybe hoping to get a slice of the cake, next time some sort of gamergate scandal outbreaks. Further lulz ensue when this retard complains about the absence of PoC's.

This review is popamole/SJW, and doesn't actually say much about the game itself. 1/10, would not read again.

Maybe he's just afraid of tits.
Tits can be terrible, terrible things. A sharp nipple can really hurt some guy's eyes.

 

[Jools]

Tits can be terrible, terrible things. A sharp nipple can really hurt some guy's eyes.

So you too are afraid of tits.

 

[karnak]

Tits can be terrible, terrible things. A sharp nipple can really hurt some guy's eyes.

So you too are afraid of tits.

Of course I am, man.
I have terrible, terrible nightmares involving boobs. Sometimes I even wake up in shock, after dreaming that I am being choked by tits.
Shocked by it being only a dream, that is.