Tacticular Cancer: We'll have your balls

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Completed Welcome to the Jungle. Let's Play the Planet Alcatraz

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by MotherMachinae, Mar 14, 2015.

  1. MotherMachinae Arcane

    MotherMachinae
    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2013
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    Location:
    In the court of Atomic Rooster
    Click here and disable ads!
    Introduction
    If you have any posts in SJW threads, are easily offended or u r kwantustan of closed mind - git out.
    Dis gonna be smooth job, rite? RIGHT?
    [​IMG]

    I started that game 3 times, always abandoned after hour. I’m not sure if choice of Medium difficulty was good idea, considering the fact that russian games use different setting and Easy=Normal and Medium=Hard and latest are slighty different levels of bullshit and cheats.

    Also - there’s more cutscenes (remember about 5 videos per post limit). Worst thing about them is choppy animation, voiceacting for all characters made by one native UKistan with full nose and lack of consistency between subtitles and NPC speech.

    There’s story from manual. I got some Hard to be a God vibe from it. Believe or not but there is game based on that too. Not sure if I can find that game somewhere.

    1.Introduction
    2. Paperwork
    3. I have no idea what I signed for


    I have one question - why anyone want to escape from this planet? They not only will be hunt and caught/shot down. With such technology to build advanced stuff like space rockets they might consider themselfs a rulers of the planet.

    Some info about combat system. Funny that such garbage game is more deep than most indie combat heavy garbage.


    Show Spoiler


    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    I give him decent melee and Imperial weapons skill.
    I should get Thieving, but found that one guy from my team is born taffer.
    And face customisation is p.limited - no matter what you set - you receive potato.

    We land
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    and are welcomed by locals.

    Holy shit, this is Oscar worthy bad acting. And he cried “Die bastard!” while he start combat, to finish him off :lol:

    Local: Start praying!
    [​IMG]
    I have no idea what these lines mean.
    Green circle around us might be range of out current weapon, and either red or blue
    is an arc of sight, like these one from Commandos series.

    [​IMG]
    You can strip the bodies from everything.
    This one got throwing knives, not much big deal.
    I find Attitude an interesting parameter. But truth to be told - it only change
    taunts from NPCs, when you walk around them.

    [​IMG]
    Victory dance
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    Is that my first choice in the game, moment after waking up post crash?
    What consequences are await for me?

    [​IMG]
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    If not these deviants and savages - this could be heaven.

    [​IMG]
    They're no comrades of mine.
    I don't have any choice either.

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    Are you talking to me?

    [​IMG]
    Oh, you're talking to yourself.

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    "Guards"? Hmm... wonder what they guard.

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    We already get firearms. What a surprise, it's useless.
    It's one-shot gun, that can be reloaded in Rest mode. Since there are still enemies around
    we can't load them again.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    Ok...

    [​IMG]
    Our next tast is to collect nearby potatoes. Don't mind if I do.
    Thanks game.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    While we listen to the taunts some convicts run away.

    [​IMG]
    ..but are quickly catched by some tough guy.

    [​IMG]
    Best way to win is to avoid firearms (quickly hide behind palisade) and eat potato faster than they
    damage income.

    [​IMG]
    Gee, thanks.

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    Double incline. Why? there are two torso armors, one work as a t-shirt and one
    as a vest. Chain Mail is under leather vest. Now I can save some potatoes.

    [​IMG]
    Even worst grenade will be live savior.
    Oh, and that rifle is different, don't need reload at the campfire.
    Still not good idea to use since we don't have anything to slow down enemies.

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    More boots. nobody want to wear something designed for loosers.

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    I hope there will be mmore hunting.

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    SHIET

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    Cool feature but give more troubles when character don't want to get even a scratch from explosion.

    [​IMG]
    One grenade and it's critical!
    Marvelous!


    [​IMG]
    :hmmm:

    [​IMG]
    Can't be worse.


    No quest compass. I stuck.
    Give me a week to finish some STALKER mods to solve this problem.
     
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2015
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  2. abnaxus Arcane

    abnaxus
    Joined:
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    Pity translation is shit and game is censored.

    Also p. sure this is same engine as Farewell to Dragons.
     
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  3. MotherMachinae Arcane

    MotherMachinae
    Joined:
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    Would play uncensored version but I couldn't translate the orkish dialect from Mordor.
     
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  4. Azira Arcane Patron

    Azira
    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2004
    Parrots:
    7,559
    Location:
    Copenhagen, Denmark
    Codex 2012
    What is this?

    ...

    Will watch. :avatard:
     
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  5. Grimwulf Arcane Vatnik

    Grimwulf
    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2014
    Parrots:
    3,323
    Oh, you are in prison. Prepare yourself for 9999 butt-rape jokes. And actual attempt to butt-rape your char.

    Fuck, I played it so long ago, but I'm still unable to forget this piece of shit.
    :negative:

    May the power of sclerosis cleanse my mind of all PTSDs this fucking game inflicted.
     
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  6. Make America Great Again Ninja Destroyer Arcane Patron

    Ninja Destroyer
    Joined:
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    Location:
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    Divinity: Original Sin 2
    Voice acting is hillarious:lol: .

    I heard about this one many times, I'll be watching your progress MM.

    :avatard:
     
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  7. Dreaad Arcane

    Dreaad
    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2013
    Parrots:
    5,587
    Location:
    Deep in your subconscious mind spreading lies.
    So many jerks in this game.
     
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  8. eklektyk Arbiter

    eklektyk
    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2010
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    Location:
    mexico of europe
    finished this and that other u mentioned ...at least gave me nice falloutish fix for few hours ...

    shame that publisher never bothered to translate 2 more [i think it got second and 3rd game in there] into normal language ...

    and May Potato Be With U
     
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  9. Make America Great Again ERYFKRAD Arcane Patron

    ERYFKRAD
    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2012
    Parrots:
    9,214
    Serpent in the Staglands Shadorwun: Hong Kong Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire
    Random advice-

    Melee is vulnerable to getting stun-locked, something to keep in mind for future.

    Getting drunk can heal in a pinch, but the char'll drop weapon and start dancing if idle.

    Potato is good.

    Combat in this is fine, all else is meh.

    You'll get guns soonish, but be careful with them, you'll figure out why sooner or later.

    :salute:
     
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  10. MotherMachinae Arcane

    MotherMachinae
    Joined:
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    In the court of Atomic Rooster
    Paperwork
    Allright, that Stalker mod was so awful I deleted him and spend time on update. Meanwhile - ZiZi made a bet with Scroo - she will beat The Creed before 2016. Godspeed.

    Meanwhile in some shithole on random planet...

    Show Spoiler

    Last time we survived capsule drop, kicked out the assess in some tiny tribe, and then
    get imprisoned.

    Now...how to escape?

    [​IMG]
    Ok?

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    Fuck off dork

    [​IMG]
    shit

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    after solid beatup I was kicked into jail with this fella

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    cool

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    :roll:
    I play this sci-fi game and what's my first job? Kill the rats. Fucking perfect.

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    wonder who's that guy? Maybe he's a part of the escape plan?

    [​IMG]
    Good thing the map is available.

    [​IMG]
    Not a problem.
    There is not much stuff here, only small medkit.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    Another boring task.

    [​IMG]
    While we are at it - let's level up.
    We can increase out skill with skill points (more INT = more points) but also
    choose perk. With every level up we get point or two, then either choose something weak
    or gather more and get better one.
    You can see arrows pointing down on the left of red number, that's where
    you can show the list with with perks.
    Every line have 3 perks, but you can choose only one.
    It could be better if I know the skill of other members, so I can avoid wasting points
    when I already have dedicated member.

    [​IMG]
    Hoover's secretary got his daily dose of punch.

    [​IMG]
    We can talk with random NPCs, sometimes they have useful information and clarify some
    thing that might be confusing. It's prison planet after all, knowing things and
    fast adapting will be important.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    wat

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    I wonder if that will be the only one guy in the game, who didn't screw me?

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    Shh! Guards are here!.

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    What do I do with it? Barter when there is no money around?

    [​IMG]
    wat

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    Cool.
    I would laugh if they were the only cool guys here.

    [​IMG]

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    sup

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    waitaminute
    It's not that guy with the escape plan?

    [​IMG]
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    There go the chance for freedom, I guess...

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    You've got to be kidding me.

    [​IMG]
    killme

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    What is this, Planetscape Tormenament?

    [​IMG]
    Hope that I don't need to equip it.

    [​IMG]

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    Wait, there is more?

    [​IMG]
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    fuck off

    [​IMG]
    good

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    Wow, there is a lot of info in the journal.
    Should take more pictures.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

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    ugh

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    Finally right job for me.

    [​IMG]
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    easy

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    [​IMG]

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    what's so funny?

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    Remind me of my school. Good thing it's behind me.

    [​IMG]
    Bigger team = better attitude? Logic.
     
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2015
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  11. abnaxus Arcane

    abnaxus
    Joined:
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    At least it's better than Wasteland 2.
     
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  12. Grimwulf Arcane Vatnik

    Grimwulf
    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2014
    Parrots:
    3,323
    This thread needs more original art of this fucking piece of sh game.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]


    And let's not forget the goddamn sequel.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]
     
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  13. abnaxus Arcane

    abnaxus
    Joined:
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    Actually, this reminded me of perhaps doing a LP of Farewell to Dragons.
     
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  14. MotherMachinae Arcane

    MotherMachinae
    Joined:
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    There was a sequel? Why I'm not surprised? Oh, I heard about it existence, years back. Same case like sequel/addon to Evil Island (I finished that one btw).
     
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  15. Grimwulf Arcane Vatnik

    Grimwulf
    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2014
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    Made in Belarus, not in Russia. Go for it.

    The sequel is slightly better. That's not saying much, because fucking anything is better than Planet Alcatraz.

    The Slavic Atmospehere (tm) is there, though. Potatoes, squatting and butt-rape. Atop of everything - shitty gameplay, annoying music, ton of bugs.
     
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  16. Luka-boy Arcane

    Luka-boy
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    Location:
    Asspain
    [​IMG]
     
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  17. abnaxus Arcane

    abnaxus
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    These Slavic games are all so depressing.
     
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  18. MotherMachinae Arcane

    MotherMachinae
    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2013
    Parrots:
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    Location:
    In the court of Atomic Rooster
    I have no idea what I signed for

    Show Spoiler

    New part start with some dose of bureaucracy. Not even prison save you from this bullcrap.

    [​IMG]
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    Rebels in the mine? I get some Gothic flashbacks.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    Leader of group one

    [​IMG]
    and group two

    Wonder what hilarity happen this time.

    [​IMG]
    Nice

    [​IMG]
    Life in prison is boring, prison mine? Even more.

    [​IMG]
    Wait a second... it's not the guy from the village, who captured convicts?
    Look at his stats, lvl10 and have 225 in Thieving and other stats on high level.

    [​IMG]
    This is how you NOT do this task.

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    googod the translation

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    I installed the game to play not read

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    urm, thanks for compliment?

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    Wonder where I get ammo. Since there is no money...

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    cool story man

    His possession is near the locomotive and this happen when you come nearby the train.
    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    guarded by wild dog, no threat

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    Botanist give free 3 skill points every level. Perk that anyone should get.

    [​IMG]
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    most of them is basic "+10 to skill X".

    [​IMG]
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    Someone is going to die
    [​IMG]
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    [​IMG]
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    any questions?

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    :hmmm:
    wonder what's that.

    [​IMG]

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    ok?

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    another trap

    [​IMG]
    Damn, they hit hard.

    [​IMG]
    Really
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    Hard

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    Fucking SMG is weak like shit. Why he want it? He can do more with spear and machete.

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    Boss have no time for this crap.

    [​IMG]
    what
    another part of the local folklore

    [​IMG]
    I gave him my old clothes
    looks like the mushroom that Chucha was talking about.

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    Wa(l)ter Melon? Tsk.

    [​IMG]
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    gee, guy know how to talk. If he ever start talking with proper grammar and vocabulary...

    [​IMG]
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    :roll:
    and another

    [​IMG]
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    As good as my SMG but with no burst fire. Nice reliability. Depend on your proficiency.

    [​IMG]
    How cool, they have people to clean up that mess. No disappearing bodies, like in
    most videogames.

    [​IMG]
    This is the alcohol effect.
    Don't wear off. You need to load the game. How nice.

    [​IMG]
    What are they looking at?

    [​IMG]
    No, I don't want to know.

    [​IMG]
    Another promotion.
    This time I need to find how people escape from this shithole.
    Hmmm....

    [​IMG]

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    My first 100 bucks. From someone who didn't backstabbed me.

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    Investigations around locomotive met some obstacles.

    [​IMG]
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    yeah I got the message

    [​IMG]
    Strange that fire range is open in the night but there you have it.
    Seems like there is no day/night cycle activity for NPCs.

    [​IMG]
    It's shit.
    [​IMG]
    Oh, a shotguns. Should be better (spoiler: it's not).

    [​IMG]
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    This is overkill.

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    Overkill name for such garbage.

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    (1) over all.

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    whatever man

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    Hnnnnnng. I should pump my Thieving skill at the start.

    Let's go back to the investigation.
    [​IMG]
    New cutscene happened. Interesting.
    [​IMG]
    Legion spy? Again? Wait, who...

    [​IMG]
    That's not supposed to happen.

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    What have I done
    WAVE 1 COMPLETED
    wait what
    WAVE 2 START
    ohfuck

    [​IMG]
    more bodies
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    Good news - it's the last group.

    [​IMG]
    No need to ask twice.

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    the fuck

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    Shoot what, dumbass? My tire? hahahahhahahfuck you people I'm outta here

    WHAM!
    [​IMG]
    FREEEEEEEDOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!

    Few miles later
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    What you mean it's broken?

    [​IMG]
    :salute:
    for getting me out

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    Oh, so it's not only improve hit chance but also defence? Why more games don't go that way?


     
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2015
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  19. abnaxus Arcane

    abnaxus
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    I hope the part with the nazi babes is up next.
     
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  20. MotherMachinae Arcane

    MotherMachinae
    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2013
    Parrots:
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    Nope.
    Next one is some shithole village. They got turbans and ushatka hats.
     
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  21. MotherMachinae Arcane

    MotherMachinae
    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2013
    Parrots:
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    Location:
    In the court of Atomic Rooster
    Monkey business.
    Previously in the Planet Alcatraz



    Show Spoiler

    [​IMG]
    This locations is straightforward.
    Few dead bodies of these, who enjoyed freedom p.short, plus some vermins (some on two legs)
    from rat and wolf family.
    Their guns are terrible (one shot and reload in Rest more) and I can't find a single
    melee weapon. Not even shiv, most common prisoner blade.
    Their ammunition and food will be more useful for us.

    After cleaning up the map and reaching the exit
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    First - prison, now slums. Shithole in shithole city.

    [​IMG]
    Lovely.

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    Holy shit, if average beggar is that edgy then I can't wait for meeting with city dwellers.

    [​IMG]
    Map button is working, but I can't fast travel yet. My task is to find normal clothes
    (or I get shot by armed guards) so gate guards let me into the city itself.
    Seems like someone need some whacking.

    [​IMG]
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    Groovy

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    Another capsule with useless content. I guess even leper beggar with bare feet
    have more respect than average Ivan wearing these eye-catching boots.

    [​IMG]
    wut

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    Even beggars want to beat the shit out of me.

    What happen if you go through the gate in prisoner/guard outfit?
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
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    That's it. They don't even give you a chance to defend yourself.

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    Not sure if go "wtf people" or appreciate variety and devs' sense of humor.

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    ugh
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    :burnmyeyes:
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    Take these pants, don't want to wear them anymore.
    [​IMG]
    you look important

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    ohshit

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    Guy in pink jacket is total wimp (how he become boss here?) but his numerous friend
    are bigger concern. These 4 here are only beginning of the battle.
    Yes, battle. There 2x bigger group outside and I have pitiful pistol, machete and some food.

    [​IMG]
    rapetrain is coming

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    Plan B - lure them to different hut. Because fighting in their shack, being surrounded
    by few of them + incoming replacements for every man that can fit inside, it's plain dumb.

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    Mission completed.
    I have clothes. Now guards won't capture me.

    [​IMG]
    But there are still remains of the thugs to fight with.

    [​IMG]
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    What's the problem?

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    It's fucking junkyard or slums, how can I get decent clothes?
    Wait a minute...
    Nah, the pink jacket can't be stripped from Hunchback. Why? No idea.
    What if I just drop that ragged jacket and go in shirt?

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    Splendid!
    Not that the look improved or else.

    [​IMG]

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    Even though he won't help me - free XP.

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    Plus - nice animation. But it's not fair that NPC's drunk effect wear off in a moment
    while it's permanent for Boar.

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    People with "Masters" name cn upgrade certain weapons and armours for big bucks.
    These things we won't see in nearby 20h.

    Quick look at the shops.
    [​IMG]
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    I can deal with this for some time.

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    Freely walking women? On prison planet?

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    woah man

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    That's a lot of throwing knives for a mere beggar.

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    Let's find that agent.

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    wat
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    Does it get better from here?
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    Not much.
    Ok, let's go hunting then.

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    World map is avaliable. Cool
    [​IMG]
    Let's sum it up.
    After report I received few missions in various locations. Animal hunting is optional
    while human encounters must be done to push main plotline forward.
    Everytime the new team member is found I receive another bunch of human&animal encounters.
    And believe me, these human encounters will be painfully cringe.
    I won't comment much, pictures speak by themselves.

    [​IMG]
    So what is to do in the city? Robbing the houses, opening chests and else.
    This will be my main income for the 3/4 of the game. But my Thieving skill is too low
    to open them all.
    Sounds dull but you did the same in Beth games like Skyrim (this is codex after all)
    so...

    [​IMG]
    HIS face? HIS hands??
    better be borked translation. And btw - that's how the conversation with females looks like.
    Except NPCs with names.

    [​IMG]
    She's not impressed with my potatoes.
    :potato:

    [​IMG]
    He's right.
    Overseers will kick your ass in a second and turn you into dust with their grenades supply.
    "No guns" policy might be annoying when you carry loot from mission and weapon take
    some space that could be used to bring some goods.

    [​IMG]
    bleh
    easy money

    [​IMG]
    o-oh
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    With this pistol? Pff.
    There is reason to call it "Fool's pistol".

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    BTW. now I can use the house to stash stuff and free space.

    [​IMG]
    I don't have any cash.

    [​IMG]
    WOAH
    Better go and do some mission and get these toys asap.

    [​IMG]
    Important item.
    You don't need calculation to find that it's WAY cheaper to buy this kit and not
    waste money on local shops.
    Unless you want jump from location to location - keep it in stash and fix stuff after mission.
    It take some time (1h+ with one item).

    Let's do some missions then. How about human encounter.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    WAIT I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT YOU
    [​IMG]
    Shit, I forgot to talk with Macaroni.
     
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2015
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  22. abnaxus Arcane

    abnaxus
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2010
    Parrots:
    14,813
    Location:
    Carcosa
    Is that Chink village from concept art in the game?
     
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  23. MotherMachinae Arcane

    MotherMachinae
    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2013
    Parrots:
    1,864,836
    Location:
    In the court of Atomic Rooster
    I guess. But I didn't noticed any women with rice picker hat.
    And don't expect nazis soon. They're called Legionares in this game, have good guns (but keep them in their fortress).
    They're avaliable after another one (or two) missions from Blacky (our boss on this planet) and you're forced to do teammates' fetch quest before you can ask Blacky for next mission.
    Five human encounters full of awkwardness, cringe and grenades rain.
     
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2015
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  24. MotherMachinae Arcane

    MotherMachinae
    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2013
    Parrots:
    1,864,836
    Location:
    In the court of Atomic Rooster
    Big Trouble in Little China

    Show Spoiler

    Unfortunately I screwed up and got my ass kicked as fast as eyes blink.
    I'll be back.

    [​IMG]
    My encounter with that rogue went smooth but here is another feature - wounds.
    Every wound decrease your abilities and you need to find someone, who can heal you for
    some spare cash.
    To my surprise - hospital is not the only place to cure yourself but also... vendors with
    food and drinks.
    To cure yourself you need special medkits, Rest, and need special perk (not sure about that).
    Better spend 50coins for every wound.

    [​IMG]
    How did he not shit bricks it's beyond me. Thanks game anyway.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    Pigcalfs and Pigbulls are harmless but they drop meat, food that restore more than 10HP.
    For us, with squishy 68HP, it will be main source of health restoration.

    [​IMG]
    Besides animal hunts you can find corpses or careless folks.
    Mostly garbage but best source of medkits and ammunition for now.

    [​IMG]
    None of them have money, though.
    We're lucky, he have blue bullets. Blue bullets are AP ammo. Surely will help when
    we find enemies with protection.

    But where are gerbil or how they look?
    They're on the minimap as a blue dots.
    And here you can see them in game.
    They have few hitpoints and don't attack, but they move nonstop, and Boar need to
    stay and launch attack animation (need 1-2 second) and their movement doesn't help.
    Wish there could be keys from Marauder: Man of Prey to increase time speed.

    [​IMG]
    Most of the time stripping them is pointless - clothes take a lot of space (especially
    torso clothes) and are cheap.
    [​IMG]
    These green things are fugus. Cheap but what else can give me money now?

    Now what happen if you pull out the weapon in the city?
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    Second later - grenade rain fall on my head.
    Ouch.

    [​IMG]
    Even in prison there is time for love.
    What's in the chest?

    [​IMG]
    Clothes.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    A lot of them.

    [​IMG]
    not now

    [​IMG]
    I forgot to give screenshot of modified leather pants.
    Since my income is p.low I better upgrade my current gear and see if human
    encounters give me better cash.

    Next hunting
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    They have strong kick that's for sure.

    [​IMG]
    what
    the
    fuck
    Baboon with a knive??
    :retard:

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    I don't like where it is going.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    Like this

    [​IMG]
    The bad part is that you need to kick some butts before you enter the bar.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    They didn't lied, putting mask on lead to fight in a moment.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    Li-Ho himsSHIT HE HAVE SWORD

    After long Benny Hill chase moments later

    [​IMG]
    It's not katana but still good blade. Will replace our crowbar.

    Time to report
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    Where did you got that helmet?
    [​IMG]
    Where did you got that cap??
    What is going on.

    [​IMG]
    Thanks for nothing. They are under your window by the way.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    10k or two other slaves in good condition. Bleh.

     
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2015
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  25. abnaxus Arcane

    abnaxus
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2010
    Parrots:
    14,813
    Location:
    Carcosa
    These Russian games are always so needlessly wordy.
     
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