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Tomb Raider 2013

JarlFrank

I like Thief THIS much
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KA.DINGIR.RA.KI
Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag.


And I thought replacing the badass adventurer who raids tombs for fun with a girl with mommy-issues was bad. Oh gods.

And it also looks like they made the gameplay into popamole rather than ridiculously hard jumping sequences and tricky puzzles.

Hnnng.
 

Wirdschowerdn

Ph.D. in World Saving
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Clogging the Multiverse with a Crowbar
Funny how after so many Tittie Raiders, they still haven't managed to turn Lara into a likeable human being. Maybe that's intentional.

Either way, fuck Crystal Dynamics. That company died when Amy Hennig left and they stopped making LoK games.

Also, isn't Lara supposed to be British? Why the Kwan accent?
 

spekkio

Arcane
Joined
Sep 16, 2009
Messages
8,278
Devs catering to new audience - sadists?

Wait till HHR! sees this! :roll:

Too bad, that even when poor developers can into grimdark / EXTREME, they sadly cannot into gameplay.

Goes back to TR1 for PS1
 

Phelot

Arcane
Joined
Mar 28, 2009
Messages
17,908
Didn't we already have a thread on this? I recall the Codex Rage...
 

Metro

Arcane
Beg Auditor
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Aug 27, 2009
Messages
27,792
I can't even tell what's going on during half of that video.
 

lightbane

Arcane
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
10,156
:what:
What kind of shit is this? What was wrong with old-school Tomb Raider? Even Angel of Darkness wasn't so retarded mature...
 

CorpseZeb

Learned
Joined
May 3, 2011
Messages
947
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RP-3
Also, new Tomb Raider showing amazing transgression from stereotypical full-boobs to the member of flat earth society. Funny thing... more "realistic" portrait Lara seems to have, more unrealistic it become.
 

ghostdog

Arcane
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Joined
Dec 31, 2007
Messages
11,079
Oh god what the fuck is this... the adventures of teen Lara ? Looks like it's catering the Hunger Games audience. I was never a big fan of the series, but this is pathetic.
 
Self-Ejected

AngryEddy

Self-Ejected
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May 5, 2012
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Fuzzy Pleasure Palace
Looks incredibly retarded. I am a real big fan of legitimate grim dark settings, but this is just "TORTURE PORN RAPE THE BITCH" bullshit. First there was the Evil Dead remake where instead of it being a psychological thriller, it's a 2 hour torture grind with metrosexual men, now this. I'm starting to see a disturbing trend in the entertainment market.

Why not just make a punching bag simulator, and put Lara Croft's nude body as the model?
 
In My Safe Space
Joined
Dec 11, 2009
Messages
21,899
Codex 2012
Looks incredibly retarded. I am a real big fan of legitimate grim dark settings, but this is just "TORTURE PORN RAPE THE BITCH" bullshit.
All I saw in the trailer is an unwilling girl forcibly dragged into the life of adventure. No torture rape porn.
I think it's quite a quite decent origins story - the first adventure being unwilling but the trauma alienating her from the society and normal life and pushing her to return to the front err... tombs.
 
Self-Ejected

AngryEddy

Self-Ejected
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Messages
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Fuzzy Pleasure Palace
Looks incredibly retarded. I am a real big fan of legitimate grim dark settings, but this is just "TORTURE PORN RAPE THE BITCH" bullshit.
All I saw in the trailer is an unwilling girl forcibly dragged into the life of adventure. No torture rape porn.
I think it's quite a quite decent origins story - the first adventure being unwilling but the trauma alienating her from the society and normal life and pushing her to return to the front err... tombs.

The 3 minute trailer had the following happen in it:

- Woman wakes up not knowing where she is, restrained and helpless

- Gets set on fire within the first 25 seconds

- Gets impaled in the side by a sharp, rusted object after falling 10 feet

- Eats dirt after jumping on the rusted wing of a plane

- Gets bitten by a bear trap

- Gets restrained again

- Gets punched in the mouth

- Gets fondled twice

What other trailer for any movie or game has focused on the main character getting the shit beat out of them relentlessly, for 3 minutes, outside of trailers for Saw, Hostel, and all of that other sleezeball shit? The main focus of the trailer was not how cool she is because of killing bad guys, or crazy cinematic scenes, it was mainly oriented around Lara Croft being beaten senselessly or somehow getting injured. The main theme of that 3 minute trailer is injury, and the guy who made it, even made a point of it, to zoom in on the bear trap scene.
 
In My Safe Space
Joined
Dec 11, 2009
Messages
21,899
Codex 2012
The 3 minute trailer had the following happen in it:

- Woman wakes up not knowing where she is, restrained and helpless

- Gets set on fire within the first 25 seconds

- Gets impaled in the side by a sharp, rusted object after falling 10 feet

- Eats dirt after jumping on the rusted wing of a plane

- Gets bitten by a bear trap

- Gets restrained again

- Gets punched in the mouth

- Gets fondled twice

What other trailer for any movie or game has focused on the main character getting the shit beat out of them relentlessly, for 3 minutes, outside of trailers for Saw, Hostel, and all of that other sleezeball shit? The main focus of the trailer was not how cool she is because of killing bad guys, or crazy cinematic scenes, it was mainly oriented around Lara Croft being beaten senselessly or somehow getting injured. The main theme of that 3 minute trailer is injury, and the guy who made it, even made a point of it, to zoom in on the bear trap scene.
Tomb Raider always had traps and stuff like that. (I remember that there was a log across a valley or something and there were spikes down on the bottom on the valley - I remember that when I was playing with my cousin we would sometimes try to get killed as ridiculously as possible - at some point we would stop in that place and jump down to death while doing acrobatics, either impaling on the spikes or just breaking neck on the valley floor - it was quite hilarious.)
Also, there's also stuff like the famous rolling rock and stuff like that. And most of stuff shown there isn't ridiculous or forced (except the amount of stuff that is out there to kill her and the fact that she survives at all). Just normal peril that a young lady faces on a weird island.

And how do you interpret the wolf thingie or shooting the assailant? Necrozoophilia?
 
Joined
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Messages
1,875,968
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Glass Fields, Ruins of Old Iran
What other trailer for any movie or game has focused on the main character getting the shit beat out of them relentlessly, for 3 minutes, outside of trailers for Saw, Hostel, and all of that other sleezeball shit?

Not many, because most trailers focus on making the main character look the epitome of cool, which is equally silly. DONT YOU WANT TO BE THIS AWESOME? YOU WISH YOU WERE THIS AWESOME
 

Menckenstein

Lunacy of Caen: Todd Reaver
Joined
Aug 2, 2011
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Remulak
After having seen Camilla Luddington's tits and butt dimples I really can't say enough good things about this pile of shit game.
 

Commissar Draco

Codexia Comrade Colonel Commissar
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Привислинский край
Insert Title Here Strap Yourselves In Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2 Divinity: Original Sin 2
Oh Flat Chested Kwan Mouthed Lara LARPING in the Girrl Powah! and all Men are Rapists performance which tries too hard to be Grim Dark and Mature, Good That WH is beneath the radar for those hacks.
 

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