Dragon Age: Inquisition Pre-Release Thread

[pippin]

Guess the age of the fanartist...

50 years old.

68 and with this hanging from his/her door http://media.cmgdigital.com/shared/...4/01/24/56/12/10PM_DAILY_AIRCHECK_01-24-1.jpg

 

[Makabb]

what is going on in this thread

 

[Wulfric Pinewood]

Well, its about beautifull love of Dorian .... get ready for cruising at November!!!

 

[DemonKing]

Implied Fellatio...sign me up!

Also if he's pinning her arms and taking her on the side of the bed how is he able to see her tits bounce anyway (unless Bio character's only shag in rooms completely covered in mirrors)?

 

[PhantasmaNL]

Okay, as long as DA Inquisition doesn't have horses Skyrim wins there.

(also, leave it up to the Germans to mod in weird sex stuff)

I'm pretty sure this game will have horses among other kind of mounts.

Hehe.. He said mount...

 

[Angthoron]

Well fuck. Today I woke up and nothing is funny anymore. BioWare broke my funny bone with their latest writing displays.

I should sue or something

 

[Kem0sabe]

Ride the bull's shaft...

 

[Astral Rag]

ESRB: In Dragon Age: Inquisition "fellatio is implied"


By Robert Purchese Published 24/10/2014

The Dragon Age series loves a bit of sex; BioWare loves a bit of sex. These are emotional adventures: they're bound to get a bit Channel 5.

But how steamy will Dragon Age: Inquisition get? Let's the let love god of age-ratings, the ESRB, explain.

"A female character briefly depicted in front of a man's torso," it rasps, "(fellatio is implied)."

"Characters depicted topless," it breathes, "or with exposed buttocks," it breathes again, "while lying in bed or after sex."

Oh there's dirty talk between characters. "I will bring myself sexual pleasure later," one politely points out, "while thinking about this with great respect."

"The way your t*ts bounce," another vividly imagines, "when I pin your arms and take you on the side of the bed..."

Oh, it gets steeeeamy. And it's for those reasons, plus silly old violence - slit throats, impaled bodies, gurgles, cries of pain - and a bit of bad language (f***, s***, a**hole) that Dragon Age: Inquisition has been rated M for Mature in the US.

The game's out here on five platforms - PC, PS4 & Xbox One, PS3 & Xbox 360 - on 21st November.

 

[Delterius]

I plan to max stats in diplomacy so I can become a cunning linguist.

From the articles commentaries.

 

[Angthoron]

ESRB: In Dragon Age: Inquisition "fellatio is implied"


By Robert Purchese Published 24/10/2014

Ok this should be good.

The Dragon Age series loves a bit of sex

Inanimate objects can't do this.

BioWare loves a bit of sex.

Like in theory, or does he have experience in this, I wonder.

These are emotional adventures: they're bound to get a bit Channel 5.

Thank you for your cultural insensitivity, Robert. Also, yes, emotional indeed, pressing the uninstall button does perfectly simulate my emotions the moment I press the flush button in the loo.

But how steamy will Dragon Age: Inquisition get?

Steamy, like a pile of fresh turds. Steamy, like a turkish bath house full of men.

Let's the let love god of age-ratings, the ESRB, explain.

Sure, let's mock the organization that helps parents to not pick games and films that will turn their little shits into enormous turds.

Oh, it gets steeeeamy.

Told ya.

And it's for those reasons, plus silly old violence - slit throats, impaled bodies, gurgles, cries of pain - and a bit of bad language (f***, s***, a**hole) that Dragon Age: Inquisition has been rated N for Not Sure in the US.

 

[Jools]

ESRB: In Dragon Age: Inquisition "fellatio is implied"


By Robert Purchese Published 24/10/2014

Inb4 SJW start talking about "implied-rape". Oh wait, they already do.

and so on...



Aaaaaanyway:

ESRB: In Dragon Age: Inquisition "fellatio is implied"


By Robert Purchese Published 24/10/2014

So, can we talk about day-1-purchese?

 

[Storyfag]

Let's the let love god of age-ratings, the ESRB, explain.

Sure, let's mock the organization that helps parents to not pick games and films that will turn their little shits into enormous turds.

Actually, yes, let's mock them. Secondly, because they fail horribly at the task. Firstly, because only clueless proles need such guidance

 

[RPGMaster]

I plan to max stats in diplomacy so I can become a cunning linguist.

From the articles commentaries.

You can't do that. Stats have been stream-lined.

 

[Angthoron]

Let's the let love god of age-ratings, the ESRB, explain.

Sure, let's mock the organization that helps parents to not pick games and films that will turn their little shits into enormous turds.

Actually, yes, let's mock them. Secondly, because they fail horribly at the task. Firstly, because only clueless proles need such guidance

Well it's too bad that 95% of the world population are clueless proles, huh?

 

[pippin]

It would be delightful to see SJW hordes backstabbing Bioware.

 

[Jools]

Let's the let love god of age-ratings, the ESRB, explain.

Sure, let's mock the organization that helps parents to not pick games and films that will turn their little shits into enormous turds.

Actually, yes, let's mock them. Secondly, because they fail horribly at the task. Firstly, because only clueless proles need such guidance

Well it's too bad that 95% of the world population are clueless proles, huh?

TBH ESRB is mostly like the "do not touch" warning sign on electricity pylons... It will save the company owning the pylon from an insurance/liability standpoint, but people will still climb/touch/be retards. Same with the "mind the gap" signs/messages in the tube. Any 12yo will have easy access to 18+ game. ESRB ratings are basically a "told-you-so-but-you-did-it-anyway": it keeps governments, retailers and developers safe from the rage (= "lawsuits") of SJWs, while not actually doing much to solve the problem (not their fault, really, because the problem really lies within the education that parents give their children, and of course they'll never admit having raised an asshole so it's easier to blame violent videogames and stuff).

 

[Storyfag]

Let's the let love god of age-ratings, the ESRB, explain.

Sure, let's mock the organization that helps parents to not pick games and films that will turn their little shits into enormous turds.

Actually, yes, let's mock them. Secondly, because they fail horribly at the task. Firstly, because only clueless proles need such guidance

Well it's too bad that 95% of the world population are clueless proles, huh?

TBH ESRB is mostly like the "do not touch" warning sign on electricity pylons... It will save the company owning the pylon from an insurance/liability standpoint, but people will still climb/touch/be retards. Same with the "mind the gap" signs/messages in the tube. Any 12yo will have easy access to 18+ game. ESRB ratings are basically a "told-you-so-but-you-did-it-anyway": it keeps governments, retailers and developers safe from the rage (= "lawsuits") of SJWs, while not actually doing much to solve the problem (not their fault, really, because the problem really lies within the education that parents give their children, and of course they'll never admit having raised an asshole so it's easier to blame violent videogames and stuff).

And, might I repeat, ESRB is woefully incompetent in handing out its ratings for the 95% of proles that seem to need them. As if a video game was somehow magically more violent than every evenings news... As if the children (OMG, won't somebody think of the children!!!!11111oneoneoneeleveneleven) didn't hear cursing on the streets...

 

[Angthoron]

Let's the let love god of age-ratings, the ESRB, explain.

Sure, let's mock the organization that helps parents to not pick games and films that will turn their little shits into enormous turds.

Actually, yes, let's mock them. Secondly, because they fail horribly at the task. Firstly, because only clueless proles need such guidance

Well it's too bad that 95% of the world population are clueless proles, huh?

TBH ESRB is mostly like the "do not touch" warning sign on electricity pylons... It will save the company owning the pylon from an insurance/liability standpoint, but people will still climb/touch/be retards. Same with the "mind the gap" signs/messages in the tube. Any 12yo will have easy access to 18+ game. ESRB ratings are basically a "told-you-so-but-you-did-it-anyway": it keeps governments, retailers and developers safe from the rage (= "lawsuits") of SJWs, while not actually doing much to solve the problem (not their fault, really, because the problem really lies within the education that parents give their children, and of course they'll never admit having raised an asshole so it's easier to blame violent videogames and stuff).

Yep. I rather have ESRB than the government to step in and start dropping bans on everything for a titty sideshot or "simulated violence"

If the store sells Manhunt to a kid, or if the kid's parent buys it to them while blatantly ignoring the age rating, it's clearly their fault, but the fucking label WAS there.

 

[Angthoron]

And, might I repeat, ESRB is woefully incompetent in handing out its ratings for the 95% of proles that seem to need them. As if a video game was somehow magically more violent than every evenings news... As if the children (OMG, won't somebody think of the children!!!!11111oneoneoneeleveneleven) didn't hear cursing on the streets...

I really don't see your point. I see myself nude every time I shower. Let's slap dicks everywhere, it's only natural? What's woefully incompetent in their description of DA: O potentially "offensive" contents? Did they make shit up? Did they miss something? What part is incompetent?

 

[Jools]

Let's the let love god of age-ratings, the ESRB, explain.

Sure, let's mock the organization that helps parents to not pick games and films that will turn their little shits into enormous turds.

Actually, yes, let's mock them. Secondly, because they fail horribly at the task. Firstly, because only clueless proles need such guidance

Well it's too bad that 95% of the world population are clueless proles, huh?

TBH ESRB is mostly like the "do not touch" warning sign on electricity pylons... It will save the company owning the pylon from an insurance/liability standpoint, but people will still climb/touch/be retards. Same with the "mind the gap" signs/messages in the tube. Any 12yo will have easy access to 18+ game. ESRB ratings are basically a "told-you-so-but-you-did-it-anyway": it keeps governments, retailers and developers safe from the rage (= "lawsuits") of SJWs, while not actually doing much to solve the problem (not their fault, really, because the problem really lies within the education that parents give their children, and of course they'll never admit having raised an asshole so it's easier to blame violent videogames and stuff).

Yep. I rather have ESRB than the government to step in and start dropping bans on everything for a titty sideshot or "simulated violence"

If the store sells Manhunt to a kid, or if the kid's parent buys it to them while blatantly ignoring the age rating, it's clearly their fault, but the fucking label WAS there.

I think the ESRB is "alright for what it is". They clearly give an at-a-glance indication of what a game might contain. They obviously can't go into detail, mostly because they can't play every single game out there to its very end: I doubt they actually play the games at all; they probably just read the scripts, at bes), or they are given a "description" by the developers themselves.

Of course it then all falls down to the retardedness of parents and greediness of retailers. Although I have seen clerks at gamestop refuse to sell a game to some teens (it was DA:O, ironically).

 

[Abu Antar]

ESRB: In Dragon Age: Inquisition "fellatio is implied"


By Robert Purchese Published 24/10/2014

Inb4 SJW start talking about "implied-rape". Oh wait, they already do.

and so on...



Aaaaaanyway:

ESRB: In Dragon Age: Inquisition "fellatio is implied"


By Robert Purchese Published 24/10/2014

So, can we talk about day-1-purchese?

Why is no one talking about how the main character of Alpha Protocol was raped by a German middle-aged woman?

 

[abnaxus]

Who's going to LP it? Twinkle

 

[dryan]

Slavic elf tranny? Putin would never allow this.

 

[Lagole Gon]

 

[RandomAccount]

This game just keeps on giving!