NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[sgc_meltdown]

you would need to be a fucking terminator to pierce a plate with a sword.

Or a giant fucking orc with a battleaxe the size of a human torso, I dunno

Strong protective magic in the female armor is sufficient to overcome attacks from such unsophisticated foes.

Heavy and cumbersome enough for the typical CRPG adventurer who is traveling on foot day after day for hundreds of days, through any and all kinds of weather conditions.

IIRC full plate weighs less and is better distributed on the body than the average load carried by modern infantry, which is around 100 pounds. Also you can pee in your suit and have your squire clean it up.

 

[JarlFrank]

This would actually help to deflect frontal thrusting attacks (the only type of sword attack that has any chance of penetrating plate)

you would need to be a fucking terminator to pierce a plate with a sword.

Depends on the thickness of the plate and the material. Ancient muscle cuirasses made of iron or even bronze - it's doable if you have a sharp steel sword, depending on the thickness of the plate. But, yeah, with quality plate it'd be fucking hard. Still, Leimrey has a point, that boob-plate has an obvious weak spot in the centre which could be easily eliminated by making it smoother and making the centre less indented.

Or a giant fucking orc with a battleaxe the size of a human torso, I dunno

Yeah because battleaxes the size of a human torso are realistic.

Not to mention that, in order to pierce plate, a weapon with a small head would be much more useful. I'm not a genius in physics but even I know that in order to pierce something hard, you need to concentrate as much force as possible into a single point - having a gigantic axe, with a large blade and therefore a large area on which the force of the blow will hit, would be quite counter-productive toward the goal of piercing plate.

 

[Ivar the Boner]

Fantasy isn't excuse for retarted shit. I really hope one day someone will make early medieval 'Darklands-like' with realistic armors and weapons. Praying to god(s) instead of magic and believable society (no woman-warriors). But right now I think all we are going to get is another Dragon Fucking Age maturity for 15 years old. Sometimes I pray for fucking apocalypse.

 

[Leimrey]

you would need to be a fucking terminator to pierce a plate with a sword.

Plate worn without an additional layer of mail is not as good as people belive it to be. A trained and relatively strong person would puncture the plate with a sword deep enough to inflict minor wounds. Nothing serious, but it would still hurt like a bitch. Spears, on the other hand, would be much more deadly (I'm talking about wearing plate without any additional armor layers, as the boobplate picture shows).

Jump to 2:00
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osTQrJ_axfc

 

[Admiral jimbob]

Sprawling alternative paths means diluted effort. One singular route that can be encountered in emotionally different ways is focused.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Or a giant fucking orc with a battleaxe the size of a human torso, I dunno

Yeah because battleaxes the size of a human torso are realistic.

That...was...the po...asdf

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Hey guys! What's going on this thread?

 

[Stainless Veteran]

If someone wants to see real effects of various weapons on various items, I suggest you to watch Cold Steel clips. Sure, materials and technologies involved are somewhat different from real medieval ones, but you'll get a broad outlook.
For example, here's a clip about their two-hander.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hfLZozBVpM

 

[Xor]

Oh FFS, who cares about realistic armor in fucking fantasy games.

Go away.

No.



Seriously, if you're all hell bent on having this discussion, don't you think it deserves its own thread?

 

[sgc_meltdown]

Hey guys! What's going on this thread?

 

[Leimrey]

I'm not a genius in physics but even I know that in order to pierce something hard, you need to concentrate as much force as possible into a single point - having a gigantic axe, with a large blade and therefore a large area on which the force of the blow will hit, would be quite counter-productive toward the goal of piercing plate.

The axe is significantly more effective at penetrating anything than the sword, mainly due to the amount of angular momentum that can be generated.

Not to mention that, in order to pierce plate, a weapon with a small head would be much more useful.

Yes, that's why the Warhammer (and its Eastern European counterpart - the Klevec) is the ultimate one-handed weapon against any armor: it combines the sharp end of a sword with the leverage of an axe.

Of course, you can always use a poleaxe.

 

[The Wizard]

it would not hurt at all.

because all you managed to do is hit the thick gambeson under the plate.

also this is so unlikely to ever happen in a real fight scenario it's laughable. even the guy in the video mentions that.

 

[JarlFrank]

Hey guys! What's going on this thread?

(horrible piece of retardation)

 

[sgc_meltdown]

Yes, that's why the Warhammer (and its Eastern European counterpart - the Klevec) is the ultimate one-handed weapon against any armor

It also has the wonderful requirement of needing much less training to use effectively compared to swords or specialised daggers.

 

[Darth Roxor]

meltdown

Notice how he also names the battleaxe as not realistic, but 'giant fucking orc' seems to be fine and dandy

 

[Leimrey]

it would not hurt at all. because all you managed to do is hit the thick gambeson under the plate.

I specifically mentioned that there's nothing under the plate armor (except for some ordinary clothing).

also this is so unlikely to ever happen in a real fight scenario it's laughable.

Why? There's nothing difficult involved in that half-swording thrust technique. Moreover, this technique was used specifically to overcome armored opponents (although it's useless against a plate + chain combo). Also, this technique would be much more effective if the guy used an actual Longsword (which is longer and is usually wielded with both hands).

 

[The Wizard]

because in a real fight people aren't tied to a tree and would actually be able to react to getting hit/getting knocked back a little(thereby ruining the whole "penetration" thing)and "half swording" was not used to penetrate the plate, but the more vulnerable chain protected joints. as the guy in the video you posted mentioned goddamnit.

 

[Leimrey]

because in a real fight people aren't tied to a tree and would actually be able to react to getting hit/getting knocked back

A real master (and you have to be one, if you want to stand a chance against a heavily armored opponent while using only a sword) will time his attack with the opponents advance (this is much easier to execute with a Longsword, which was more popular than the ordinary Sword for half-swording) which will result in even more penetration. Thrusting into the armor gaps of a moving opponent is even less effective, as you have to hit a relatively small and constantly moving target, which also uses a fucking weapon to parry your attacks. Also, the guy in the video (when they were talking about thrusting into the armor gaps) was using a regular grip, not the half-swording technique.

This is a very good example of the penetrating capabilities of this technique combined with the Zweihander (jump to 1:14):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFAKTjOQJwQ

Also, you can jump to 1:19 and watch how that additional handle on the Zweihander allows to deliver thrusting attacks, that are comparable with those executed with a spear.

 

[Stainless Veteran]

Hey guys! What's going on this thread?

[ghey armor]

FFS, this is a prestigious site! If you want to post retardation, let it be a classical retardation, and not this gay scally faggotry bullshit.
And while we at it - yeah, warhammer was pretty effective weapon.

 

[DraQ]

meltdown

Notice how he also names the battleaxe as not realistic, but 'giant fucking orc' seems to be fine and dandy

Well orcs may be given element of the setting, giant battleaxes, OTOH are possible type of weapons crafted by its inhabitants to deal with the problems occurring in this setting and may or may not make sense in its context.

Now, huge weapons may make sense when created and wielded by beings larger and significantly stronger than humans, that's actually why in a consistent fantasy setting heavy armours may be less desirable than IRL (because if something hits you with the force of a speeding truck, whether it penetrates or not is of the least concern to you) and spears/polearms (and ranged weapons) would reign supreme, even more so than IRL and not just for formation combat. You don't want to go toe-to-toe with something that can mash you into a pulp with a single hit and if you do, you'll want to use something that can do more than just slash it in the knees.
Another point in designing sensible, but relatively high fantasy universe, is magic. If you have some guys and gals who can essentially summon a small thermobaric charge (known as 'fireball') in the middle of enemy formation by waving their hands and mumbling stuff, it will have an impact on tactics and equipment.

Regarding warhammers - it always amuses me to no end how typical fantasy warhammer looks about as practical as truck engine attached to a pole, while real ones were actually relatively small and handy weapons.

 

[Leimrey]

@Stainless Veteran
"I wouldn't want that to be my face".
That guy is my personal hero.

 

[sgc_meltdown]

FFS, this is a prestigious site! If you want to post retardation, let it be a classical retardation

I will meet you halfway with a work that synergises the wild, untamed and primal pulp art style of the west with the iconic traits of contemporary eastern animation.


http://i.imgur.com/8sqIX.jpg
(linked for high resolution)

 

[DraQ]

For example, here's a clip about their two-hander.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hfLZozBVpM

So much for the oblivtards claiming that oblivious combat is actually an improvement over previous TES.

Also, classical?

I'd prefer classical heroic nudity (except more egalitarian than Hellenistic version) to retarded, dysfunctional "armour", like chainmail bikinis.

 

[Leimrey]

http://i.imgur.com/8sqIX.jpg

Does the Codex have a "dat ass" emoticon?

 

[Mangoose]

Regarding warhammers - it always amuses me to no end how typical fantasy warhammer looks about as practical as truck engine attached to a pole, while real ones were actually relatively small and handy weapons.

Could say that about all fantasy weapons.

 

[Stainless Veteran]

Also, classical?

I'd prefer classical heroic nudity (except more egalitarian than Hellenistic version) to retarded, dysfunctional "armour", like chainmail bikinis.

By classical I meant "trashy but awesome 60s-70s sword & sorcery art ". Frazzetta, Vallejo, Duillo and artists inspired by them.