Tacticular Cancer: We'll have your balls

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NSFW Second Best Thread Ever (Part 3) [occasionally NSFW] [SJW ist verboten]

Discussion in 'General Gaming' started by Jaesun, Mar 15, 2011.

  1. Oriebam Formerly M4AE1BR0-something

    Oriebam
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    Click here and disable ads!
    Something Awful is one of them LP hubs, right? That shit is going to be made considered illegal by the MAFIAA, right? another reason to report
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  2. Wyrmlord Self-Ejected Patron

    Wyrmlord
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    A bunch of immature jokes about Gabe Newell. I only copy-paste, but I did not make them.

    >Gaben at E3 2011
    >Seven forklifts bring him onto stage
    >It takes several hours for him to stand upright
    >He leans into the microphone
    >Crowd shaking with excitement and suspense
    >"Team...Fortress..(cough)3...
    >Crowd cheers
    >...You will be...able..
    >Crowd draws in breath
    >To...customize...your own...
    >Crowd jumping at this time
    >...Dragon dildos
    >Crowd screams
    >Gaben presses button on microphone that drops all his clothes at once
    >Bulletproof cafes drop ceiling, but not fast enough
    >Several bullets hit Gabe
    >Bullets bounce back, hitting several in the crowd
    >Gabe then reenacts meatspin

    >Gaben at E3 2011
    >doesn't announce Ep 3
    >fans are so mad they put him in a rocket with the sun as its course
    >rocket lifts off
    >the earth follows the rocket
    >scientists all over the world find out earth was actually a moon orbiting Gaben
    >rocket is closing in on the sun
    >sun swallows Gaben and earth
    >Gaben's fat fuels the sun for an extra 10 billion years


    >Gabe rolls on stage
    >kills people in process.
    >has to use gravity gun to set self on stage
    >sweating with visible sweat spots.
    >Gabe takes a sandwhich out of his backpocket and starts eating it in front of the audience, crying while doing so.
    >gabe takes a big breath, audience gasps in excitement.
    >gabe takes all the air in E3, suffocating everyone.
    >Gabe announces to dead audience that Left4Dead 3 is coming out.
    >rolls away.


    >E3 2011
    >Lights go out
    >Spotlights point to center of the ceiling
    >Gaben is being lowered by multiple reinforced steel cables
    >He's wearing a moon costume that barely contains his obese body
    >he's slowly orbiting above the crowd towards the microphone stand
    >cable snaps unexpectedly
    >Gaben falls straight into the crowd
    >Dozens of people are crushed by him and either dead or seriously injured
    >E3 is cancelled forever


    >Gaben at E3 2011
    >Finished a demonstration of Dota 2
    >Suddenly, lights dim
    >Crowd falls dead silent
    >After a little while, Gabe's voice is heard
    >Oh, just one more thing
    >The number 3 fades in on the right side of the big screen
    >Crowd starts to get excited, but only a small "woow" rolls through the room before it is quit once again
    >The letter E appears on the left side of the screen
    >Crowd is now roaring
    >Gaben announces
    >Have a nice E3!


    >gabe waddles on-stage
    >discusses portal 2 development
    >says we'll see her in episode 3 with gordon
    >leaves
    >suddenly crowd is like oh wait.
    Phelot Brofists this.
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  3. Multi-headed Cow Arcane

    Multi-headed Cow
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    I'd let Gaben reenact meatspin with me any day. :love:
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  4. racofer Thread Incliner

    racofer
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    Instead of acting butthurt over the interwebs, Gabe simply...



    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    :thumbsup:
    Toffeli and Andyman Messiah Brofist this.
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  5. Freelance Henchman Arcane

    Freelance Henchman
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    Project: Eternity
    I <3 half life santa
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  6. Infinitron RPG Codex Staff Patron

    Infinitron
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    Codex 2012 Dead State Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2
    http://www.videogamer.com/pc/the_el...f_skyrim_an_inspiration_to_alan_wake_dev.html

    :hmmm:
    Even the site realizes this is derp:

    Comments:
    :lol:
    :patriot:
    :obviously:
    :decline:
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  7. DraQ Prestigious Gentleman Arcane

    DraQ
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    And this, not his lack of vagina, is why Gabe won't ever be in the center of a shitstorm like the one engulfing Hamburglar Herpler.
    Krash, Ashery, Hellraiser and 4 others Brofist this.
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  8. Matt7895 Magister Patron

    Matt7895
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    Codex 2014 Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2
    I'm not religious at all, but if I were, I'd be tempted to worship Gaben.
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  9. Menckenstein Lunacy of Caen: Todd Reaver

    Menckenstein
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    Gabe has a good sense of humor but let's not turn this place into VSN. TYVM.
    meh and Crooked Bee Brofist this.
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  10. DwarvenFood Arcane Patron

    DwarvenFood
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    Serpent in the Staglands Dead State Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Wasteland 2
    That was a hilarious reply by Gabe
    meh Brofists this.
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  11. Kraszu Prophet

    Kraszu
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    " because at the end of the day you're just going from A to B and getting something for someone." He got a point there, reading shouldn't be optional, quest should require from you the knowledge of what you are doing, or at least make that knowledge help to get better results, but Bethseda carters to everybody so there can be no coherent connection, you have your quest arrow to follow no matter what the story is you follow it to kill or take something or steal something, and then you follow the arrow again to take the reward. Skyrim doesn't even have a description of what the quest is about in quest book because that is an irrelevant information for completing them.
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  12. Infinitron RPG Codex Staff Patron

    Infinitron
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    Codex 2012 Dead State Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2
    True. This Woffls guy is weird, it's like he's complaining that Bethesda have addicted him to a type of gameplay that he isn't sure why he even enjoys.
    But if you enjoy the game, can you really complain?
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  13. Clockwork Knight Arcane

    Clockwork Knight
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    Woffls doesn't realize it yet, but this is also the primary objective in real life
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  14. DraQ Prestigious Gentleman Arcane

    DraQ
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    This is the part where Skyrim's atrocious interface actually works to it's advantage - as long as the quest isn't radiant and includes some directions, it's easier to pay attention than to fumble around, trying to activate the right quest marker. It's also the least painful as it minimizes the time spent in horrid, sanity draining interface screens.

    Even if the quest is radiant, it's still better to just look at the map once and then try to find your route in first person.
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  15. racofer Thread Incliner

    racofer
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    This needs to be preserved in here:



    "If you are a responsible parent, then the world of MMORPG first person shooters should be something of a foreign language to you. In games like Skyrim, players are teleported to far away lands that are cream filled with demonic spell crafting, violent shirtless blood shed and exposed not only Satanic critters, but bombarded with gay under tones of fecal fornication."

    ...​

    "The spells the player are taught are directly out of The Book of Wiccan and are far more dangerous than anything your child is watching on that Wizards at Waverly Place and Sabrina The Teenage Witch. When a player casts a spell, you will see the hand gesture is that of how homosexuals fling devil DNA juices at each other after a long night of fecal frenzy ass assassinations. This is subliminally teaching your children that they need to go in their rooms, demon whack their sin staff and produce sin milk into their hands and than fling it in the face of the first person they come in contact with after their taint tugging session."

    ...​

    SKYRIM LINGO: DOVAHKIIN – Is the supposed citizens of Skyrim, but is a code word that means:
    D – Dirty
    O – Orifice
    V – Violation
    A – Always
    H – Hurts
    K – Keep
    I – Injecting
    I – It
    N – Naiant

    ...​

    "Skyrim Jobs – Skyrimming is a street term the gays use when talking about applying their tongues to the outer rim part of another man’s sewer spout, while that man is being hung upside down. See the gays have weird fetishes and are close to Satan. Satan speaks to them and tells them news ways on how to experience demonic orgasmic sin. Satan has recently taught our fecal fisting bandits that if you hang each other upside down and let the blood rush to the head, the anal dumpster becomes more sensitive to touch and we all know gays wake up and fall asleep just day dreaming about sticking something up their own or someone else’s sewer hole."


    Fucking :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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  16. Freelance Henchman Arcane

    Freelance Henchman
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    Not sure if parody
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  17. Azalin Arcane Patron

    Azalin
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    :hero:

    Suprisingly there don't seem to have an article concerning Mass Effect 3,Dragon Age 2 or Hamburger Helper.Maybe we should sent them an e-mail informing them and wait for the lulz?


    Also

    [​IMG]
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  18. Surf Solar cannot into womynz

    Surf Solar
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    This was posted months ago already racofer. :rpgcodex:

    And yeah, the entire site is a parody - funny nonetheless. ;)
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  19. Luzur Prestigious Gentleman Good Sir

    Luzur
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    fecal fisting bandits

    yes
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  20. hoopy Savant

    hoopy
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    SEWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS

    (The constant "jokes" about time aren't funny though.)

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  21. Infinitron RPG Codex Staff Patron

    Infinitron
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    Codex 2012 Dead State Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2
    So they've branched out to shovelware now? "Tailpipes is tailpipes!"
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  22. Wyrmlord Self-Ejected Patron

    Wyrmlord
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  23. Genma:TheDestroyer Liturgist

    Genma:TheDestroyer
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    Moo?
  24. Unorus Janco Lurker

    Unorus Janco
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    Thanks Final Fantasy for introducing RPGs to North America

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  25. Infinitron RPG Codex Staff Patron

    Infinitron
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    Codex 2012 Dead State Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2
    See, this is why I disagree with people who think PC gaming was ever dominant in the way consoles are today.
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