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NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

Gragt

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Serpent in the Staglands Divinity: Original Sin
Chainmail apron: for when you can't take the heat but need to stay in the kitchen.
 
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Serpent in the Staglands Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag. Pathfinder: Wrath
Clockwork Knight said:
DraQ said:
*Beyte Fyr remains unimpressed by your inane shenanigans*

I wonder if she'll stay unimpressed when I shove a sword in those exposed elbows of hers.

Jarlfrank said:
What happened to good old 1980's sword-and-sorcery chainmail bikinis? Those were the sexiest and also the least ridiculous. Just a chainmail bra and chainmail panties, the rest of the body is naked, except for maybe a pair of sandals. Yes, it's also impractical and useless, but it's also practically weightless and doesn't look so incredibly DERP.

No. Chainmail bikini is the single most derpish thing to come out of fantasy. It's even more targeted towards prepubescent nerds than wish-fulfillment huge barbarians, which is kind of a feat in itself. Being more honest about its own retardation isn't a excuse.

queensonja1007.jpg

Main difference is that the people who made the chainmail bikinis never pretended to be making a MATURE GRIMDARK game.

If you're going to make those claims and then back it up with prepubescent bullshit, you should be much more ridiculed than the people who made chainmail bikinis because they thought it was hot and everyone knew it.
 
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Clockwork Knight said:
No. Chainmail bikini is the single most derpish thing to come out of fantasy. It's even more targeted towards prepubescent nerds than wish-fulfillment huge barbarians, which is kind of a feat in itself. Being more honest about its own retardation isn't a excuse.

queensonja1007.jpg
This. Chainmail bikinis are fucking retarded whether apologists are honest about fapping to them, or trying to justify them for the reasons as "+dodge skill" or whatnot.

Sadly, japanese influence on armour in RPGs, with its rule of cool, giant shoulderpads and general retardation is even worse than chainmail bikinis.
 

DraQ

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Chainmail bikinis are shit, though.

If you desperately need some fap-fodder you can use some supernaturals or casters that are typically unarmoured anyway and can have their reasons to be naked/semi-naked (skyclad witches, lol) without getting objectively ridiculous.
 

Luzur

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Braggi said:
I have made few posts here since joining the forums some years back. A little background: I am 43 years old and have played TES since my mid-twenties, discovering Arena in 1995. There is a great deal of affection and many, many hours devoted to this series of games: I own (and have played repeatedly) registered copies of TES1-4, plus plugins and expansions for the later titles.

The complexity level issue is a key point for me. At the time Arena was published it did things very few other RPGs allowed. The complexity of the game play was deceptively simple yet had, for its time, a lot under the hood. When Daggerfall changed the system from XP-based to skill-based I embraced it whole-heartedly. I still feel that way about this aspect of the series today. Best of all, there were many skills and you could customize even pre-built classes using them. However, there were some issues with over-complexity inherent: you had to enjoy looking at your character sheet, targeting a skill or set of skills to build in the game and then find ways to do it. You also learned some skills were close to useless (i.e. the various language skills - dragonish, imp, and so on) due to cuts made to the game play due to time of release pressures.

Morrowind hit the best combination of skills and complexity in the series to date. Enough for a great deal of variety, yet no so much that you drowned in it. Additionally, the skills removed or changed made a great deal of sense and added measurably to the role-playing in-game.

Once Oblivion came out, I loved it too... but only in certain areas. Thiefly play and stealth combat rocked. It was (and is) visually lovely and the exploration aspect was certainly rewarding. But the skill system? Horrid! Too simple, not enough variety, too much like riding a rocket sled on greased rails with no control on where you were going. Classes lost their nuances, as did the skills supporting them. (Example: combining axes, maces, clubs and calling them "Blunts"? That was pretty hard to swallow. The most elegant solution was a simple mod I still use that changes the base skill name to "hafted" - better but still not wholly satisfying.) I realized then that my ideal would be about the the complexity level of Morrowind (or Daggerfall minus the useless skills).

I feel strongly enough about this simplification issue that, in viewing a recent interview with Todd Howard about Skyrim, one where he mentions how he is a strong proponent of finding new ways to "fold things in" to streamline the TES series even further, I made a difficult and sad decision. I will not be purchasing or playing any future TES titles. Tamriel is a beloved world for me, 15 years worth in fact, but I simply cannot play in a series whose game play drops to the level of insulting my intelligence. I game to be stimulated, entertained, to share the enjoyment with fellow fans and to have my brain challenged. Oversimplifying leaves me cold.

I think that the designers and the community should know that these changes have an effect on who is willing to play a new TES title. I have no expectations that the words of a fan and customer of 15 years will make any difference - the continued streamlining process in the face of fan protests as far back as the release of Oblivion in 2006 is proof of that. The days of new TES titles allowing me to game the way I want to are gone for good - they won't return. That is the way of things and I accept it - the series has gone somewhere I'm not willing to. The current fans who love the later games as they are now will discover this for themselves as each iteration and change comes about in future titles.

Four good games plus numerous expansions and mods is enough for me. Skyrim will be pretty, no question, but it was also be too simple for my tastes. Without rancor or malice I wish the newcomers and those previous title players who remain the absolute best in their future TES gaming. Thanks for all the fun Bethesda. Thanks to all the modders for adding even more to that. It was a great ride, but all good things end.

if i wasnt totally banned from the forums i could have sworn this post was one of mine.

:salute:
 

Luzur

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herostratus said:
DraQ said:

Bethesda moderator said:
In 1929, the flappers and such were having the same debate over silent films vs. talkies, with ardent fans of silents bemoaning the fate of the art of movie-making. Folks, technology changes, people change, cultural interests shift... It's called game "development", not game stasis.

Tamalak said:
"In 1929, the flappers and such were having the same debate over silent films vs. talkies, with ardent fans of silents bemoaning the fate of the art of movie-making."

Red herring. With sound and speech, movies could get out more dialogue, with more nuance, more efficiently.

With the move from text-dialogue to speech dialogue, they cut the amount of dialogue by 90%

It's the same with many other advancements in the technology.. the more neato physics/graphics/features you put in, the less flexibility the actual game has to do anything. That's why Dwarf Fortress and its ilk have the MOST powerful gameplay.

:thumbsup:
 

commie

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Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Divinity: Original Sin 2
Black said:
commie said:
Whining about female armor in fantasy settings is pointless. It's always going to be like it is because of the nature of those that imagine females wearing this type of thing in the first place: sexless, spotty, overweight nerds. For the same reason men are always hulking Conan types, or were, as now there is a real emo faggot vibe to fantasy heroes due to the Wapanese influence. For a lardarse living in a basement, the 'emo' is more psychologically attuned to their nature than the 'Conan', even though every fat fuck would prefer to be a Conan.
Pay attention to my posts, fag.

The post with the image of a female character in some kind of lacy corset that is so short, her flaps are almost exposed?
 

GarfunkeL

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I think Black's intention was that you can create realistic female armour that still looks sexy, check the other four. The fifth, on extreme right, is obviously either a caster or some party dress. Probably lifted from some Korean MMO.

As to TES, big wonder that their mods keep harping about the company line. Are they paid, btw, or are they volunteers? If they are paid, then I can understand, don't bite the hand that feeds you and all that, but - if they are volunteers, they is no need for them to so vehemently defend Bethesda in every turn.
 

Admiral jimbob

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GarfunkeL said:
I think Black's intention was that you can create realistic female armour that still looks sexy, check the other four. The fifth, on extreme right, is obviously either a caster or some party dress. Probably lifted from some Korean MMO.

As to TES, big wonder that their mods keep harping about the company line. Are they paid, btw, or are they volunteers? If they are paid, then I can understand, don't bite the hand that feeds you and all that, but - if they are volunteers, they is no need for them to so vehemently defend Bethesda in every turn.

Volunteers. It's a shame, they used to be alright, pretty down-to-Earth - I remember Hungry Donner and Freddo in particular were pretty cool bros, Freddo in particular talked at length about how he preferred the Gothic series to ES. Small wonder those two seem to have taken a smaller role... maybe Pete took them out back to explain why people call him "uncle".
 

Sceptic

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Divinity: Original Sin
DraQ said:
supernaturals or casters that are typically unarmoured anyway and can have their reasons to be naked/semi-naked
VS Knight Ramunes & 40 Fresh :smug:
 
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Awor Szurkrarz said:
The only realistic armour there seemed to be the 3rd one.
All it's protecting is tits, upper shoulders and the belly button, for chrissakes.
The only one to save the wearer's life would be the one on the far right, because she'd be too busy getting raped to get a sword in the gut.

The problem with DA2's armours isn't lack of realism. What makes it so derp is that it not only spectacularly fails to protect the vitals, but that it fails to be sexy while doing so. What's the fucking trade-off of all its derp? For what kind of audience is it intended? Seriously, FFS...
 

Turjan

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Multiple Sarcasm said:
The problem with DA2's armours isn't lack of realism. What makes it so derp is that it not only spectacularly fails to protect the vitals, but that it fails to be sexy while doing so..
No idea about the sexy part, as I find the game mostly ugly as well. Regarding armor in DA2, the armor you see on your char and the armor (s)he actually wears don't have to be the same. If you char wears an ugly hood or helmet, you can just make it not show up with a click on your paper doll. It's a vanity mode.
 
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Turjan said:
No idea about the sexy part
I think I haven't phrased it too well. I tried to say that DA2's armour fails at looking sexy while failing at protecting the wearer. There's this campy fantasy notion: to trade usefulness for attractiveness. I don't know what kind of deal DA2's made, but it got neither. Buttocks flashing and EE cleavage on preteen elves it has; a point to its design - it doesn't.
 
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Nael said:
*Nameless One enters*
PC-NamelessOne.jpg


What's the question again? I was updating my journal.

Yes, I will happily accept non-functional armour on a female warrior if she is immortal with suppressed god-like powers and the ability to rapidly increase her dexterity ahead of most of the universe's creatures, such that the designers need to give her a shitty starting armour class and limited armour options just to balance out the possibility of utterly unhittable AC scores.
 

Murk

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Well, the argument was never that minimal armor or non-armor is "not functional" so much as metal lingerie is stupid.

People did used to fight looking like this:

Three-Musketeers-3-D-Movie-Poster.jpg
 
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Multiple Sarcasm said:
Awor Szurkrarz said:
The only realistic armour there seemed to be the 3rd one.
All it's protecting is tits, upper shoulders and the belly button, for chrissakes.
The only one to save the wearer's life would be the one on the far right, because she'd be too busy getting raped to get a sword in the gut.
Damn, I see the cloth part now. I guess it doesn't make sense at all.
 

Monocause

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Clockwork Knight said:
DraQ said:
*Beyte Fyr remains unimpressed by your inane shenanigans*

I wonder if she'll stay unimpressed when I shove a sword in those exposed elbows of hers.

The armor is designed in a way that you don't leave your elbows exposed when you adopt a fighting stance. See these extended plates over there, behind?

Amyway, shoulder pads or not, Morrowind armor was quite cool. I mean, it looked cool while still being obviously serviceable in combat.

I disagree that armor shouldn't look cool. Historically good armor wasn't only for protection, it also served as a status symbol (due to how darn expensive it was) and was a deterrent.
 
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Monocause said:
I disagree that armor shouldn't look cool. Historically good armor wasn't only for protection, it also served as a status symbol (due to how darn expensive it was) and was a deterrent.
Agreed. But, unfortunately, the dirty console gaming peasants have a very different and peculiar idea of what's "cool".
 

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