Review RPG Codex Review: Pillars of Eternity, by PrimeJunta

[roshan]

The setting itself is not awful,

The setting is complete shit. It's like Forgotten Realms if it got a vasectomy, was then castrated, and subsequently sterilized completely. All the epic, the mythic, the fantastic is stripped out, everything is banal and mundane. It neither has the careful thought and attention to detail that goes into pseudo historical settings, or the interesting social structures and dynamics. So what you're left with is absolutely nothing of interest, and worse, nothing to inspire, nothing to encourage you to suspend belief and immerse yourself. Just banal SEOUL SAUL SOWL over and over again. A fucktarded one trick pony "setting".

 

[One-and-a-half-Ivan]

The setting itself is not awful,

The setting is complete shit. It's like Forgotten Realms if it got a vasectomy, was then castrated, and subsequently sterilized completely. All the epic, the mythic, the fantastic is stripped out, everything is banal and mundane. It neither has the careful thought and attention to detail that goes into pseudo historical settings, or the interesting social structures and dynamics. So what you're left with is absolutely nothing of interest, and worse, nothing to inspire, nothing to encourage you to suspend belief and immerse yourself. Just banal SEOUL SAUL SOWL over and over again. A fucktarded one trick pony "setting".

I sense a disturbance in the Force your butt

 

[roshan]

The setting itself is not awful,

The setting is complete shit. It's like Forgotten Realms if it got a vasectomy, was then castrated, and subsequently sterilized completely. All the epic, the mythic, the fantastic is stripped out, everything is banal and mundane. It neither has the careful thought and attention to detail that goes into pseudo historical settings, or the interesting social structures and dynamics. So what you're left with is absolutely nothing of interest, and worse, nothing to inspire, nothing to encourage you to suspend belief and immerse yourself. Just banal SEOUL SAUL SOWL over and over again. A fucktarded one trick pony "setting".

I sense a disturbance in the Force your butt

I sense Sjwyer's cum in your ass.

 

[One-and-a-half-Ivan]

The setting itself is not awful,

The setting is complete shit. It's like Forgotten Realms if it got a vasectomy, was then castrated, and subsequently sterilized completely. All the epic, the mythic, the fantastic is stripped out, everything is banal and mundane. It neither has the careful thought and attention to detail that goes into pseudo historical settings, or the interesting social structures and dynamics. So what you're left with is absolutely nothing of interest, and worse, nothing to inspire, nothing to encourage you to suspend belief and immerse yourself. Just banal SEOUL SAUL SOWL over and over again. A fucktarded one trick pony "setting".

I sense a disturbance in the Force your butt

I sense Sjwyer's cum in your ass.

Nobody's perfect

 

[Irenaeus II]

I tried reading the backer NPCs. I read about 40. Some where kinda amusing little stories, too bad they had zero relation to the setting. Most were utter garbage. To me, the worst part is how different they look from regular NPCs. It's p. jarring and out of place.

The tombstones were much better, since you know they break the 4th wall and some are cool.

Yes I like reading.

 

[Lurker King]

Unless the 'is it balanced?' mentality is itself changed, there won't be a sudden switch to AD&D-style magic, regardless of level.

I don’t think this has anything to do with balance per se. AoD is tight balanced but you can achieve great feats. PoE problems that we can attribute to Sawyer are different, namely: (1) a design that cater to players whims (muscle wizards!) and save the player from his mistakes (stamina bar), which results in an “I don’t give a fuck” attitude about the stats and kills any meaningful challenge. (2) a bunch of ideas that looks nice on paper, but don’t work in practice (graze hits, etc.). (3) uninspired itemization, abilities and spells (the exception being the chanter and cipher spells) – Tim Cain is also to blame here, but fanboys that live in the past will put all the blame at Sawyer. (1)-(3) has nothing to do with balance.

 

[Irenaeus II]

(1) I give a fuck about stats.
(2) graze, hits and crits work great in practice.
(3) itemization is good, just not enough uniques and variable enhancements. Abilities and spells are very inspired, only problem being only focused on combat and the short duration of buffs and debuffs, which means you have to micro the combat a lot.
(4) You should change your name to Lurker Peasant

 

[Saber-Scorpion]

(4) You should change your name to Lurker Peasant

Indeed. The true Lurker King is me.


Anyway, another good review. Very detailed and... balanced. I think most of the PoE hate around here comes from high expectations, since this is a game by Obsidian, and they promised the moon. If the same game had been released out of the blue by an unknown indie developer, then it would be getting a lot more praise. Or at least the tone of most harsh critics might be different, more hopeful/encouraging. Then again, maybe I'm underestimating the Codex.

 

[Sceptic]

Which is why Decado writes a better review. He at least can lay a foundation.

No.

 

[Shevek]

OK, no, wait. Backer NPCs/tombstones. Surely nobody's going to defend those.

Those were indeed crap. The tombstones were a bit easier to ignore though and felt less intrusive to the experience. The backer npcs really annoyed me and I would save when approaching one just to see if I could kill it without losing rep.

 

[naossano]

we should host a subsection only dedicated to Pillars reviews.

 

[tdphys]

The setting itself is not awful,

The setting is complete shit. It's like Forgotten Realms if it got a vasectomy, was then castrated, and subsequently sterilized completely. All the epic, the mythic, the fantastic is stripped out, everything is banal and mundane. It neither has the careful thought and attention to detail that goes into pseudo historical settings, or the interesting social structures and dynamics. So what you're left with is absolutely nothing of interest, and worse, nothing to inspire, nothing to encourage you to suspend belief and immerse yourself. Just banal SEOUL SAUL SOWL over and over again. A fucktarded one trick pony "setting".

I'm sorry, but Forgotten Realms is the epitomy of soulless fantasy settings... a useless grab-bag of 20 years of DnD fan-fiction. You must be a Drizzt lover, poor sap. Heaven forbid that a world have... actual fantasy mechanics, consistent language and history backgrounds and real economic and cultural motivation. You might not *like* POE's world building, but to compare it to FR's ridiculous canon is, well , ridiculous. If anything , the only mechanical problem with POE's world building lends to the game is that it seems to have prompted some of the "encounter" design to be replaced with "ecological" design and led to some trash-mob annoyance ( this is a legitimate criticism of POE, not Forgotten Realms Rulz!!!)

 

[Telengard]

Which is why Decado writes a better review. He at least can lay a foundation.

No.

Allow me to translate into Codexian.

Decado's review is shit. But at least Decado knows how to shit in the toilet, instead of all over the floor. Unlike Prime Junta.

 

[Immortal]

The setting itself is not awful,

• It's like Forgotten Realms if it got a vasectomy, was then castrated, and subsequently sterilized completely.
  
• All the epic, the mythic, the fantastic is stripped out, everything is banal and mundane.
  
• It neither has the careful thought and attention to detail that goes into pseudo historical settings, or the interesting social structures and dynamics.
  
• So what you're left with is absolutely nothing of interest, and worse, nothing to inspire, nothing to encourage you to suspend belief and immerse yourself.
  
• Just banal SEOUL SAUL SOWL over and over again. A fucktarded one trick pony "setting".

So... Basically 4E?

Anyway, another good review.

Go back to lurking please.

I think most of the PoE hate around here comes from high expectations, since this is a game by Obsidian, and they promised the moon.

As has been explained several times - it's because the game failed in several areas and was promised to not be horrible. All the times we excused Obsidians mistakes as just an over bearing publisher making stupid decisions behind the curtain now has to be called into question..

 

[Suicidal]

Can I write the next PoE review?

 

[Zorba the Hutt]

Can I write the next PoE review?

I heard there are a couple of categories still open for publication, so long as you can satisfy the requirements and reach a suitable conclusion:

Positive: Decado
Neutral-Positive: Prime Junta
Neutral: Darth Roxor
Negative: (Available)
Lulzy: VD and Grunker
Roguey Retrospective: (Available)

 

[Darth Roxor]

I see I can't even go on a four-day vacation without someone smearing a gigantic turd like this all over the frontpage.

Good job.

 

[MRY]

At some point, I wonder whether this might be more effectively done as an email roundtable, like the one that Blackthorne and I and some others did re: adventure games. I realize that one can comb these threads to get the back-and-forth among the various reviewers, but it might be more interesting to see them discuss their points of differences without the hundreds of other posts thrown in, and with the luxury of a little more time and formality.

Or maybe just a formal rebuttal from Roxor will do.

 

[Jasede]

Maybe in PoE 2 you start a new low level character in another part of the world

Five years after what came to be known as the Watcher Civil War, you awake from a coma on a strange ship adrift at sea. You are the Exile, last of the Watchers. The first companion you encounter is the Grinning Grandmother, a mysterious old cipher who becomes your teacher and helps you regain your connection to the Force Adra. Eventually you have to travel to four different planets regions to collect or kill four animancers. After that the true evil of the Grinning Grandmother reveals itself. During the endgame bossfight you have to defeat three floating blunderbusses that she controls with her mind.

MCA wrote this plot synopsis for the sequel before he left. Stumbling upon it, while on the shitter reading the official codex steam curator review for POE, Feargus smiled and yelled 'SLAM FUCKIN DUNK', as his shit hit the toilet water with a splash.

The only worthwhile thing to come from 4 reviews.

 

[felipepepe]

At some point, I wonder whether this might be more effectively done as an email roundtable, like the one that Blackthorne and I and some others did re: adventure games. I realize that one can comb these threads to get the back-and-forth among the various reviewers, but it might be more interesting to see them discuss their points of differences without the hundreds of other posts thrown in, and with the luxury of a little more time and formality.

Or maybe just a formal rebuttal from Roxor will do.

I proposed doing something like that, but now it's best to just wait for the expansion...

 

[Cowboy Moment]

At some point, I wonder whether this might be more effectively done as an email roundtable, like the one that Blackthorne and I and some others did re: adventure games. I realize that one can comb these threads to get the back-and-forth among the various reviewers, but it might be more interesting to see them discuss their points of differences without the hundreds of other posts thrown in, and with the luxury of a little more time and formality.

Or maybe just a formal rebuttal from Roxor will do.

For the love of god MRY, please don't give them any more ideas...

 

[IHaveHugeNick]

4th review? Only the true classics are so divisive.

 

[Lhynn]

4th review? Only the true classics are so divisive.

Yep, like dragon age, fallout 3 and oblivion.

 

[Apexeon]

Which is why Decado writes a better review. He at least can lay a foundation.

No.

Allow me to translate into Codexian.

Decado's review is shit. But at least Decado knows how to shit in the toilet, instead of all over the floor. Unlike Prime Junta.

What about on the walls and roof?

Reviewer 5 might nail that one.

 

[Tigranes]

Really, now that we've come this far, I would be very disappointed if we didn't get Review 5: Prosper's Graphic Illustration, Review 6: Cleveland Mark Blakemore's How I Played POE And Also Got Totally Ripped In Under 2 Weeks, and Review 7: Admiral Jimbob Comic.