Review Mass Effect 3: A Narratological Review

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Sorry hotbabe but I don't have any Bioware titles , so we are trapped as star-crossed lovers, seperated by eternity (30 days).

I sincerely hope anyone reading the review or this thread gives some of the Codex approved games a spin, I think they'll have a fucking blast and if it changes their outlook or at least gives them a better appreciation for the classics I hope they join the ranks of the Codex and immerse (derp) themselves in the incline.

I feel the same way about KMart.

Forbidden love has bloomed on the battlefield, but romance doesn't scale to our level.

Dr. Menckenstein or: How I Learned to Stop Hating and Love the BSN.

Romances not level-scaling? PREPOSTEROUS!

I waited until the end of the game to fuck tali and she was a fuckn frost giant!

Private Joker will leave EDDI for a reaper when it indoctrinates him and turns him against her... dun dun dun. Sins of the flesh high tensile polymer blend.

All of this reminds me of that one thing that happened.

You see, I met a nigger at a swimming pool a few months ago. I know, I know, it might not seem like much to all you esteemed kwanzanian gentlemen, experienced in the art of dealing with these majestic jungle beasts, but here, in the quiet suburbs of Potatoland, it was a highly unusual and terrifying occurence. I emerged from the main pool after honing my well-chiseled body closer to that of the Greek ideal of Polykleitos and Myron, and headed towards the jacuzzi with the intent of enjoying some well-earned relaxation. Imagine my horror, when I found it occupied by a solitary negro, presiding over the area like one Ubu the King, somehow managing to channel lazy carelessness and ferocious bloodlust at the same time.

I was paralyzed. Afraid to move forward and enter the predator's domain, but even more terrified of the prospect of turning my back to the treacherous monster, I merely stood there, eyes locked with the negroid nightmare in front of me. But then, all these years of watching the Discovery Channel have not left me unprepared for a contingency of this sort. Recalling the methods brave, white explorers would utilize, when confronted with a mountain gorilla, I steeled my resolve, and, continuously looking into the bloodshot eyes of the beast, I walked forward, entered the pool, and situated myself opposite of the spearchucking menace.

The nigger appeared to be confounded by my actions, no doubt having expected me to attempt escape, which would give it the opportunity to pounce on my back like a black cheetah, giving it the immediate advantage. However, confronted with a white man not cowardly and apologetic, but courageous and proud of his wondrous heritage, the animal seemed to have lost its edge. Such is the nature of these melon munchers, that they can only win with treachery and ambush, and lose their bravado when confronted directly. But I digress. Cowed by my glowing superiority, the nigger got up, and ran away unseemingly, therefore realising its place in the world. And all was as it should be.

I am posting this for the benefit of our distant cousins on the BSN. If you understand the meaning of my story, you will know what needs to be done.

Did they have to melt down tens of thousands of children to make those babies?

Considering that it's EA, no. Babies would be too expensive. They used their workers in China instead.

"In my defense, that caucasian gentleman was harboring a prominent erection."

Prosarian seems to be the exact type of BSNer that would be fun to get into a discussion actually. He'd fit right in with the more serious threads and most of the Playground, which are free of the constant swearing.

Anyway I'd like to point out not all of us throw insults all the time. I think I rarely throw out fucks and the like, and I'm fairly moderate with the slurs, closest thing I get to is faggot aimed at Jaesun, but considering he's in the top 10 BROlist it's more an affectionate slur than anything else. And the fact he's a mod here and one of the more monocled contributors says more about this prestigious magazine's views on gays than our throwing the word shitfaggot around.

Regarding the MP, it is indeed the best thing to come out of Mass Effect (entire franchise). Didn't know there was a Codex ME3 MP team, is there a thread where they're congregating?

We've moved on from ME3 MP, at the time it was the best thing since sliced bread. We've found a new style of bread this week, Sacred 2.

I bet everyone loves the ingame concert

Germans can not into metal. Lyrics now stuck in my head, thank you very much....
We shall stand together
One by one
This world is sacred..............

what kinds of slurs do you find offensive?

Hows the battle of dimwits going? Whos winning?

Excellent review. I agree that the stuff around the genophage and quarians vs. geth remains the most compelling parts of the whole trilogy. I agree that ME3 actually reached for some real reactivity among all the usual short cuts, and that's great. I'd love to see more ambition in that direction from BioWare. And all that said, I think that ME3 was definitely rushed. The stripped dialogue options, basing most of your in-game actions on raising a number that had nothing to do with how the game ended at all, the sudden thematic shift to "synthetics and organics cannot live in peace" even though you arguably already fixed that problem already, the ending in general, etc, etc. I had a fun time with it, and I wouldn't say the series was a waste. But I seriously wasn't expecting anything more than a fun, reasonably engaging playthrough where I could happily ignore the holes. The ending was like hitting a brick wall transplanted from another game.

just ignore whoever you hate