Tacticular Cancer: We'll have your balls

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Completed LP Path of Exile Beta: I want to be a machoman

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by Renegen, Feb 28, 2012.

  1. Renegen Augur

    Renegen
    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
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    So recently I got into a beta I didn't even know I registered for a game that I publicly dismissed and shat on, what does that mean? It's time to LP this obviously! Path of Exile is a Diablo-3 clone, cashshop, new skill system, also in closed beta, but it's not Diablo 3. Is this game good enough to please the sophisticated tastes of Codexers? Read on...

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    I'm not lying guys, this is Path of Exile.

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    Name's taken bitches.
    Actually, let's create a new character or else everyone would be too confused by the complex lvl 9 gameplay. I don't want to lose my non-existent audience here.

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    In the grimdark past, there were 5 classes to choose from. (The classes don't matter too much since skills are item based)
    This guy looks too scrawny, I'm not sure he can survive H4rdc0r3 mode.

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    He looks about right, the kind of guy that picks ups chicks in a dark alley.

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    Let's choose har... er wait a minute. Oh well. We now need to pick a tough name, a name that will inspire fear in our enemies.

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    Hongda, that sounds about right.

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    We start washed away on a beach. Hey, I think a flute solo starts the same way. And 20 different RPGs.

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    We get up and decide to do some push-ups, gotta keep this sexy body in shape.

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    I kept turning my speakers up but I didn't hear any voice acting, oh the horror.

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    The game is forcing our hand by having a zombie kill the NPC, and I wanted to be a pacifist! Hongda is up to the challenge.

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    Extending fist...

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    (dramatic) Contact!

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    The zombie collapses beneath my fists.
    Every single kill will be this detailed btw, I'm not fucking around.

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    In for an inch, in for a mile. Time to pick up this conveniently placed bludgeoning device and kill people.

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    Three against one? Hongda has faced worst odds than that.

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    My aura of intimidation repels them away.

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    Another fight, another victory.
    What's this, a plate vest? With 2 holes in it? No matter, I can make it work.

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    We encounter a particularly slimy bottomfeeder. I bring him down a peg or two.

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    Another bludgeoning device. My enemies won't know what hit them.

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    Let's equip them akimbo. I think I saw this once in a John Woo movie.

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    A scroll of wisdom.

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    Look what I found here, a giant two-handed flute. Given my mastery, I will equip this superior instrument of pain.

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    Haven't lost a beat.

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    I am low on life, I hardly noticed. It seems this game doesn't have HP regeneration. :decline

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    I chug a health potion. The way health potions work in this game is they refill with the blood of your enemies, so in a way you have health regeneration like any good modern cRPG should.

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    My mastery has increased to level 2.

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    But no time for reflection, I must rid this beach of evil. Here, we have a Kratos cosplayer that needs to learn cosplays are for sissies.

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    The battle is reaching its crecendo.

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    I feign defeat to chug a potion.

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    And he's dead. We find a magic maul.

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    This maul is very good, I may have to put the flute back in its case for a while.

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    It's time to level up.

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    I think I saw something similar in a japanese RPG.

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    This is intense.

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    Actually this is pretty cool and inclines the game quite a lot, who doesn't love meaningful passive upgrades?

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    The special looking icons are even more powerful upgrades. Clearly, at 1 point a level I need to forge a path to them.

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    This game isn't popamole enough, let's go for this one.

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    Upgrade complete

    Next episode: Hongda wonders into town.
    dextermorgan Brofists this.
    ^ Top  
  2. Azira Arcane Patron

    Azira
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    Codex 2012
  3. laclongquan Arcane

    laclongquan
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    Searching for my kidnapped sister
    Can you get tits, aka playing female? Cause hairy figure hurt the eyes.
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  4. lightbane Liturgist

    lightbane
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    [​IMG]
    Looks like Diablo with an actual machete-rape negro. Also,

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    WTF? The level-up system seems to be too complex for a recent game, we're not in 2008 anymore.
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  5. Edward_R_Murrow Prestigious Gentleman Arcane

    Edward_R_Murrow
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    Motherfuckerville
    Tits are beneath his fists.
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  6. Damned Registrations Prestigious Gentleman Furry Weeaboo Nazi Nihilist

    Damned Registrations
    Joined:
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    Been wanting into the beta for this since september. Play onward!

    Passive tree looks promising. I was worried all but a few of the nodes were going to be +2 STR or some shit like that. If you can get traits like those two within 5-6 levels thats pretty promosing.
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  7. Monstrous Bat Learned

    Monstrous Bat
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    What do you mean it's not Diablo 3?
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  8. Cowboy Moment Arcane

    Cowboy Moment
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    That skilltree is just so funny. Wonder how much time someone spent rearranging those dots and lines before they were satisfied.
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  9. Ulminati The Dong Whisperer Patron

    Ulminati
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    Botlane tribush
    [​IMG]

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  10. Renegen Augur

    Renegen
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    Totally, and actually if you look across the skilltree it's quite diverse. Every "circle" that you see in the screenshot has a theme, whether knockback or elemental resistance, or mace damage, or fire damage, whatever.
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  11. Renegen Augur

    Renegen
    Joined:
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    2,549
    update 2: Hongda wonders into town

    But first, some T&A for our audience


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    Wait a minute, is this a man or a woman? It looks like a hipster "modern city life is so cliche, I'm going to live in the woods."

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    What about the witch? She's a woman, just not sure if she's legal.

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    The best T&A in this game actually comes from the Mana and Life bar, respectively. Ironically.

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    I left my basement apartment for this? What a dump.

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    Find the medicine chest, got it. This reminds me of Diablo-2 style quests, which is different from the exp-heavy quests of Diablo 3 it seems. Not that there's anything wrong with being different, not at all.

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    I go over her store inventory. Yes, you're reading this right, this game is so edgy that it only features a barter system. Ironic. I centered on this item by random but it's so good I will buy it.

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    I see I still get ripped off by merchants however.

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    Find the medicine chest, got it.

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    We get out first skill gem from the last NPC. Keeping away enemies at a distance? Stunning them into inaction? that sounds like Hongda.

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    We socket this baby in our Maul, things aren't looking so good for the competition.

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    We enter the Terraces. But before I can pick a fight, I find this orb. I think it turns a normal item into a magic item.

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    The game makes it very satisfying to crack someone's spine with a Maul.

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    We continue to assert ourselves. Unfortunately I never get to see the knockback in action because everyone dies in 1 hit. The orb of chance is similar to the orb of transmutation but more powerful apparently.

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    I decide to use the orb to upgrade my armor to magic, eh, the results are decent. I think I fucked up, if I had used the orb of transmutation followed by the orb of chance, I would have a rare quality armor.

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    We level up and it turns out that on our way to the 1.5% Life regen at level 6 I already get 1% life regen at level 3. Guess that makes us 67% of a troll. Fallout 3 sucks, lolol.

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    Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?

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    Boss time! The butthurt is strong in this one, I must teach him an alpha never gets mad.

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    And he's history. You know, I think that the poor fellow hurt himself before he ever got to taste my maul. Could it be that my thorney armor works with ranged attacks?

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    Yup, it works with ranged attacks. Or maybe it's just because this gravel eater shoots from his ass.

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    And the gem levels up on its own. I wonder if I can romance the stone. That was an obscure reference btw, you probably don't get it.

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    I decide to build an unconventional strategy around my thorney armor.

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    It's working. I am killing things without actually hurting them. It's also ironic.

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    Is that a bolt of ice after we've faced that fire boss?

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    It is, how very ironic.

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    And she's dead. She proved to be too difficult for me so I was forced to use my weapons again. The irony ends here.

    next episode: a fistful of cash
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  12. laclongquan Arcane

    laclongquan
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    The rangeressa looks slightly interesting, despite the realistic pants. As for the flatchest witch, well, loli is not my thing.
    Overall, this game disappoint.
    ^ Top  
  13. raw Arcane

    raw
    Joined:
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    9,210
    hey renegen i am in the beta too :bro:
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  14. Renegen Augur

    Renegen
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    What's your name? We could do a bro-ship session.
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  15. Renegen Augur

    Renegen
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    update 3: a fistful of cash

    We've just defeated the great bosses of Fire & Ice and finished our first real quest, now let's turn everything in and get paid. Maybe we'll find some useful items to wear too. It's time for more image spamming on page 1! (hint: bump this shit)

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    On the way back to town we get aggressed by a Scavenger of Wounded Speed (??), these are the typical magical monsters you find here and there.

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    Our second rare, nice, but more importantly a new level. We take another +8% life bonus.

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    On our way to town, we also find a new orb type, an orb of regret. Hmm, if Hongda ever gets to have that feeling, he'll be sure to eliminate it with this orb.

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    And another orb, this one adds a mod to a magic item? I don't even know what that means.

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    Back in town we get our first reward, a magic life or mana flask. That's right, the flasks described earlier have their own stats, there may even be rare and unique versions!

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    It's a good one.

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    And we unload the loot. Here we get an excellent reward for the identified rare driftwood club while the unidentified rare leather armor gives us a few shards only of a different type. It's kind of random how it all works out, too bad I ran out of wisdom scrolls. The vendors continue to rip me off though.

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    The second reward for delivering the medicine chest. Did we pick this? No

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    Or this gem? No. We're getting an AoE skill, but it's going to be an offensive AoE, nothing girly like "Sweep" on this hunk.

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    GROUND SLAM, oh yeah. And also some dude took 5 months to get his first unique. Hmm, hopefully Hongda won't have such a long dryspell :starts crying inside:

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    We continue playing with the maul. I added a ring that gives me cold damage so every monster has a small chance to smash into ice chunks. Gotta live for something.

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    Making it look easy. Turns out these Rhoa nests have a special quest item, 3 in total.

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    Our Ground Slam levels up very quickly. Gem leveling is kinda weird, some cost nothing to go up in levels at first, some are very expensive, some change a lot with level ups, and some barely at all.

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    Some other unique, Oozeback Bloom, Orlando Bloom's cousin. I've got a full mana pool all for him.

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    Evade this!

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    Another rare. I end up selling it unidentified to the vendors for one whole orb of alteration, unidentified, man it's random. And I just realize in all my fun I had leveled up earlier, +6% life.

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    Not far we find the 3rd quest item to open and...

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    ... we assemble them to open the submerged passage. That was a fun walk in the wilderness, barely a sweat. But instead of going in, we are asked to go back to town...

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    A slightly crooked town portal, I'm not even sure it's tall enough for me.

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    I bet he has treasure for me. The next screenshot should confirm it, right?

    Stay tuned for next time!

    next update: Bring a torch light
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  16. Renegen Augur

    Renegen
    Joined:
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    Bonus Choice & Consequence post!

    Before we venture into the dark submerged passage, maybe we should take a detour to gather up some levels and precious loot (who am I kidding, we're probably gonna get ripped off again). The map currently has two unexplored areas, where to first?

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    The Submerged Passage and following areas promise to be a bump in difficulty, should Hongda:

    A: go forward in his quest without looking back toward the Submerged Passage to the East
    B: assume fetal position and go into the Fetid Pool to the north first

    Vote!
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  17. lightbane Liturgist

    lightbane
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    B. Also, this game indeed looks like to be much better than Diablo 3.
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  18. Cowboy Moment Arcane

    Cowboy Moment
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    Do as much optional stuff as possible. More XP means you can complete your artistic design on the skill tree faster.
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  19. laclongquan Arcane

    laclongquan
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    Searching for my kidnapped sister
    This.
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  20. Excidium P. banal

    Self-Ejected
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    Meh, go easy on the optional stuff otherwise you're going to outlevel the zones pretty fast and combat will get boring.
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  21. Brother None Prestigious Gentleman On the line for InXile

    Brother None
    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2004
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    5,374
    I'm torn. It'd be kind of funny if you outrun your own level and end up getting killed left and right because the game doesn't seem too difficult right now.

    But I guess I'll go with the majority and vote for doing optional stuff, just to see more of what's available.
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  22. Cowboy Moment Arcane

    Cowboy Moment
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    How is the game's atmosphere thus far, by the way? It's a bit difficult to tell from just screenshots. Does the world feel cohesive and real, or is it a themepark like in most diablo clones?
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  23. Carceri Scholar

    Carceri
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    That's right. Allocating skill points is for faggots. We need moar auto-levelups!!!
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  24. Renegen Augur

    Renegen
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    Coming up we have some great atmospheric locations. The game is really beautiful and I found myself staring at the visuals or animations, something I never did in Diablo 2. When you are in a dark area, you can only see according to your light radius and that light radius gets smaller as your hp goes down. The barter system also means you'll never have an abundance of resources, you can run out of scrolls of wisdom at lvl 1 just as much as at lvl 50. But then again the locations can change fast from beaches to forests to prisons to caves.

    I quite like it and I think it's better than Diablo 3(tho I haven't tested both). The game will be F2P and just in its current state I already see myself playing without needing to buy anything.

    The game is quite easy, at least at first. You rarely get gangrushed like you did in Diablo 2, there's overall less monsters on the screen and they don't have that many interesting abilities. As difficulties increase, you have more rare monsters that can kick your ass. Things can change though and I get the feeling this is one area that will improve.
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  25. Cowboy Moment Arcane

    Cowboy Moment
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    Damn, I've been waiting for a good Diablo clone for a long time now, and these fuckers don't want to give me a beta key. :rage:
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