[LP CYOA] Test-Run

[Esquilax]

Tigranes Absinthe

Help me make a decision, you cunts.

 

[Tigranes]

[Caitlyn]

What do I do what do I do what do I do? Nothing in the femfempower reading group told me what to do when crazy bears are consuming a fundie!

Okay, so let's think. Saving another women from the misogynist trap is, by all means, the right thing to do. But Frarncesca would surely not want to endanger my life in order to save hers, a fellow woman. And aren't Christians all about suffering on others' behalf, anyway? I mean, we really don't want the bears to get through, right? We're meant to have supplies for everyone here, right?

B (but could be persuaded to A, I just can't see Caitlyn wielding that axe properly)

 

[m4davis]

Small question is anything stopping them from just using the same finger to buy all 5 objects I mean sure that fingers going to be practically destroyed by the end of it but at the same time then its only 1 finger you lose

BB

 

[TOME]

[Francesca]

“Help… help me! Caitlyn, please help me!" Why won't that godless witch help me?! "Oh, God please help me please please please!" OUR FATHER, WHO ART IN HEAVEN...

B

 

[Nevill]

Small question is anything stopping them from just using the same finger to buy all 5 objects I mean sure that fingers going to be practically destroyed by the end of it but at the same time then its only 1 finger you lose

The ring probably won't fit on just a bone.

 

[treave]

The point is that I still don't understand why we should 'buy' anything in the first place.

Edgar’s Choice:

A. Buy 0 items.

By the way, why are you voting to give up another finger if you are agsainst shopping in principle?

Because there are no other options, unless this LP is meant to be free choice galore.

B. Bite and break off the exposed bone with his teeth, and wrap the wound with cloth cut from his rags.

 

[a cut of domestic sheep prime]

Forgot to vote:
[quack-quack/Aaron the ascended neckbeard]
BA - Obviously, though even if he doesn't take the fedora, it will still be with him.
edit:

You’ll believe even a nigger can swim…

Finally, a quote for my sig

 

[Esquilax]

B (but could be persuaded to A, I just can't see Caitlyn wielding that axe properly)

She wouldn't be wielding it, she'd be using it to wedge the door open to get Francesca in... which would leave us without a weapon momentarily should one of those bears start coming through. On the other hand, pulling her through without using the axe as a wedge might mean that we're both stuck out here if the doors close and in potentially deeper shit. We'd be a sheltered college student who hasn't thrown a punch in her life and a vegan pacifist out in hostile territory with a weapon that neither of them probably know how to use. I find leaving a fellow womyn in the fight against the patriarchy to die a bit distasteful and I don't think we're quite at the point where we're desperate enough to consider murder and cannibalism just yet. What, you didn't think we were going to let that severed arm in D go to waste, did you?

Francesca would have wanted it that way; she may be a vegan, but she knows that it's a sin to waste food.

 

[Tigranes]

I think it's a given that with A, we'd have to deal with at least one bear inside the dome, and with B, Francesca will lose a leg or something at least.

The question is whether even a single bear can be defeated by the Womynpair+Axe. We don't even know if these bears are even as vulnerable as real bears.

All that, combined with a lot of fear and self-denial about her own morality, I'd say pushes Caitlyn to go for B.

 

[Esquilax]

All that, combined with a lot of fear and self-denial about her own morality, I'd say pushes Caitlyn to go for B.

Okay, I'd say I'm convinced. I'm flopping my original post to B.

 

[Azira]

B, we at least have to try and save the only other worthy (female) person in this crazy world we're in. Without endangering ourself too much though.

 

[Nevill]

Tally

Benton - BB
Baltika9 - BB
Kipeci - ?
m4davis - BB
Lambchop19 - BA
asxetos - BB

Caitlyn - B
Esquilax - B
Absinthe - ?
Tigranes - B
Azira - B

Edgar - BB
a bear named spigot - BA
Kz3r0 - BB
ScubaV - BB
Nevill - BB
Rex Feral - ?

Francesca - B
Grimgravy - A
wjw - B
TOME - B

Again, not enough hobos.

I could be convinced to go to the pool if there is a rationale behind it, meta or otherwise. I don't really have a preference here.

B, we at least have to try and save the only other worthy (female) person in this crazy world we're in.

How could you? I was your ally! When I was still Aaron, anyway.

Bitchbitchbitch!!!!!1!1

 

[a cut of domestic sheep prime]

[quack-quack/aaron the ascended neckbeard]

Updated my post with one of those nifty brackets so you can tell who I am voting for.

 

[Kz3r0]

The point is that I still don't understand why we should 'buy' anything in the first place.

Edgar’s Choice:

A. Buy 0 items.

I was talking to the other players.

By the way, why are you voting to give up another finger if you are agsainst shopping in principle?

Because there are no other options, unless this LP is meant to be free choice galore.

B. Bite and break off the exposed bone with his teeth, and wrap the wound with cloth cut from his rags.

So we can't go to cut Aaron's hand then?
And why use teeth when we have a knife?

 

[treave]

So we can't go to cut Aaron's hand then?

It won't register.

And why use teeth when we have a knife?

Have you ever eaten chicken wings before?

 

[Nevill]

Since 'they' seem to acknowledge Caitlyn's desires to an extent and play along, would the machine be able to realize that gender is a social construct and allow the use of both hands depending on the customer's feelz?

 

[treave]

If you had Caitlyn come across the vending machine, she might have kicked up a fuss about the inherent patriarchal arrogance in men having the right hand, implying that women have the wrong hand, but alas, she is not here.

 

[a bear named spigot]

BA

i'm concerned our teeth are so fucked up that they're going to shatter when we take a bite, but w/e

 

[ScubaV]

I could be convinced to go to the pool if there is a rationale behind it, meta or otherwise. I don't really have a preference here.

Edgar:

BB

Cut off the useless bone and then go to the pool. There's bound to be some chlorine or cleaning supplies to disinfect with and towels for bandages. It's every man for himself and these other idiots are bound to get themselves killed sooner rather than later. They don't know what it's like. This is war and war never changes.

But if you flopped it would be 2 A's and 2 B's and ties do not seem to go over favorably. Maybe we can staple the wound in the administration wing?

 

[Nevill]

Yeah, I've seen yours, and I meant it in a 'if you want me to flop, I will' way, but that was before another vote came in.

If I have learned anything about how CYOAs work, though, it is unlikely that we will concern ourselves with our wound any time soon until it starts inconveniencing us again.

 

[Kz3r0]

Flopping to
BB

 

[Nevill]

Fine, I guess. BB it is.

 

[treave]

What Lies at The End

“Okay, okay! Grab hold of my hand! I’ll pull you out!” Caitlyn reaches out a helping hand to Francesca, hoping with all her heart that she will not regret this decision. The both of them scream, one pulling, one pushing. Slowly, they begin to budge. Francesca falls forward, but she does not quite manage to clear the door before it closes on her knee. Outside, the bear is still biting onto her leg with all the hunger of a starving vegan confronted with a shipping container packed with soya beans. Caitlyn falters, wondering if she should continue pulling Francesca out, try to push the door open so that more of her can squeeze in, or just run.

The decision is made for her a split second later. The combination of pressure from the door and the tugging of the bear pops Francesca’s knee loose. Then, there is a wet, ripping noise of meat being torn apart. Francesca drops to the ground, her eyes wide and her face pale. The door smoothly slides shut with a loud squish, mulching whatever connections were left between her thigh and calf. It takes a few seconds before the pain begins to register. She arches her back and begins rocking back and forth, clutching the ragged mess of flesh and bone and nerves that was once her leg. Blood streams from between her fingers ceaselessly, spurting forth in great gushes that paint the ground red.

On her part, Caitlyn can only stand there with a confused, fearful look on her face. What should I do? A tourniquet? But how do I make one? She was not Edgar, or even Quack-Quack. Caitlyn has not had the need to perform first aid on anyone in her life, not even once. It was something doctors, nurses and first-responders did. Not her.

This! This is how you do it! Quickly! Please!

Francesca’s sharp, hoarse thought cuts through the mental screaming that had been filling Caitlyn’s head. An instructional image appears in her mind. How to bind a tourniquet for the leg. It is hazy. Before Caitlyn can commit it to memory, it dissolves, washed away by Francesca’s anguished shrieks.

Caitlyn shakes her head, trying to clear it. She is not confident that she will do it correctly, but she will at least try…

***

Edgar brings his fleshless pinky up to his mouth. He bites it at the base of the joint, his rotted teeth sawing against the ligaments. Gripping firmly with his jaw, he jerks his head, hard. The finger bone snaps off easily enough, and Edgar spits it onto the floor. It clatters across the tiles. Then comes the task of bandaging: the knife helps with that, cutting some of his extraneous rags into small strips useful enough to bind the open wound. Once that is done, Edgar reaches over and picks up his disembodied finger. He stuffs it down his pants.

It is a part of him after all. Waste not, want not. There could be a use for it later.

Muttering to himself, Edgar leaves the cafeteria and heads for the swimming pool.

When he arrives, he sees a curious sight. The swimming pool is devoid of water, yet there are splashes of water all around and a wet trail leading off to the side. Someone had taken a swim recently. Was it Quack-Quack? Gripping the knife tightly, Edgar stalks the trail until he reaches the lockers. One of it is open, and from the marks, it seems that the person had left the pool and entered the locker. The trail ends there, however. Edgar kneels down, grumbling. There is water seeping through from the bottom of the back panel. Not a lot of it, but it is there. Something hidden in the back.

Perhaps a secret passage. Perhaps Quack-Quack is there.

He reaches out a hand to push the panel, but his fingers stop just short of it.

There is the sound of something scratching behind him. Claws tracing streaks across the tiles. The sound of heavy panting, from a large animal at least human in size.

So… it’s caught up…

Edgar’s eyes glitter. He can feel the old blood coming back. Rushing. Hot. Eager to battle. Eager to kill. With a grin, he whirls around…

***

Quack-Quack squeezes through the narrow corridor. It is barely wide enough for him to make it through, and low enough that he is perpetually hunched. The walls and floor are all made from cold metal. He sneezes. That little swim did not agree with him. As he walks, he notices that there is a slight incline. Quack-Quack is slowly and steadily progressing upwards.

What lies at the end of the corridor?

Better be some nice chow. Some bitches would be good too. Finding the motherfucker behind all this would be double-A best.

So he continues to walk, not knowing where he will end up…



---END---

 

[treave]

Alright, that's it for now. I won't be available much for the next 4 or 5 days, so I figured this is as good a place as any to stop.

We can have a post-mortem about how you guys felt about this format, and where we'll be going next.

 

[a cut of domestic sheep prime]

*tsk tsk* Didn't your mother ever teach you about walking around cold, wet and with your head uncovered? Should have put on the fedora like I told you to.


Format was fun. Moar.