[LP CYOA] Epic

[Azira]

Red Alert 3 hoooo!

 

[Baltika9]

You have to play the thing and it's prequels to understand it: suffice to say there is a fine line between "supernatural/ that's pretty cool actually" absurdity and "oh fucking really?" absurdity (hint: by the time you get to man-cannons and killer dolphins with sonic cannons mounted on their backs (don't get me started on the Japanese faction) and every character reads like he hit every branch down the "parodies and stereotypes of soldiers and ploiticians" tree, you know you've delved too far; needless to say I would rather see this masterpiece avoid that)

Red Alert 3? You speak as if there was a Red Alert 2. Everyone knows it was a single spinoff, and the series only continued with the two sequels to the original Command and Conquer.

I prefer to think that C&C and RA are linked by the plot, like Westwood fucking intended!


P.S.: wouldn't it be hilarious if the Terrasphagos reappeared in the middle of the war?

 

[Storyfag]

Also, a word of explanation. The original Command and Concuer, Red Alert and Command and Conquer II were made by Westwood before the EA acquisition. Then came the medicore Red Alert II, the surprisingly good Command and Conquer III, and the Game-like Products Which Shall Not Be Named.

 

[treave]

I... I'm not sure what you mean. It's already absurd. The moment I talked about God Emperors on the first page we dived into the depths of absurdity.

Watch a few youtube videos of the single existing Red Alert (especially the briefings), then compare them to youtube videos of the game I claim does not exist. You will understand. Painfully.

You're right, it is painful.

wouldn't it be hilarious if the Terrasphagos reappeared in the middle of the war?

Uhm. Not in the middle, no. Not exactly. Well, it depends on your choices I suppose, just like how their appearance in the first place depended on your choices.

 

[a cut of domestic sheep prime]

This means that Naim and Jean leave you behind after you bail their asses out because saving the prototype is more important and they're soldiers, not heroes.

*sigh* Called it.

Also, why does this Naim (really, treave? A character named "name"?) give me flashbacks to a certain non-bro back in the labyrinth?

Wish we'd have left the bugger to die on his own. :/

I'm sick of the ungrateful Shinar. We save the Emperor, the princess, and now the Empress and an entire colony and do we get to screw the princess? No. Instead we end up warming up to the greasy mechanic. My vote is A. Bring on the MHD!


B

 

[Baltika9]

You're right, it is painful.

The real pain is in the gameplay (Mount Rushmore weapons platform) and characters. Also, the cutscenes, you would have to give it a full look at both to understand the situation.

the game I claim does not exist.

It doesn't. It's all a bad, terrible nightmare.

Uhm. Not in the middle, no. Not exactly. Well, it depends on your choices I suppose, just like how their appearance in the first place depended on your choices.

Ean fucking damn it. We have to get the Imperial family to safety now and secure ourselves a position in the pilot corps, otherwise the planet's fucked.

Edit: Lambchop19, thinking in terms of Senya's pussy counter is stupid and counter-productive. The whole planet is at war and inter-dimensional ITZ is coming, most likely put in motion by our sister. Screw the Imperial Family and Kyrie along with it, we have a planet to take care of. Let's see who's Top Dog once Holy Terra acknowledges us God-Emperor.

 

[Baltika9]

Wait a second. Now I get it.

Another aspect of their beliefs, albeit a more controversial one carried over from the Tenchishinri, revolves around communion with God, who they refer to as feminine. They believe that God who lives outside the universe has turned Her ears away from the world, and to attract Her attention they must create God within this universe. The Golden Womb refers to the universe as egg and nurturer. By performing rituals to gather life energy, the Great Mother will transform her womb into a suitable receptacle for God and give birth to Her. The resulting child will attain divine transcendence, at the same time both inside and outside the universe. It is prophesized that after an Age of Strife, she will bring salvation to humanity.

The "Age of Strife" isn't supposed to be the World War, no. That's just the preparation, the real thing will begin once all the nations are depleted and exhausted and our "Imouto" will open the Rift to summon the Terrasphagos; then the Masters come in as the Big Damn Heroes to save the day and look good.

Of course, to do this she'll need to make sure the war is especially protracted and bitter, ergo all sides must have incentives to fight (Higash military strikes landing "accidentally" on a UNS colony; the Dunamis choosing to strike right before the outbreak of the war; a nuclear attack launched on Neo Heliopolis at the time the Empress and Princess are there? This is waaay too convenient to be a coincidence).

And besides which, going into the den of this she-viper when she holds all the cards is tremendously retarded. Don't do it guys!

 

[a cut of domestic sheep prime]

Well, if that's the case, then shouldn't we head over to her base and derail her plans? Ah, screw it. Picking B for consistency's sake. We've always sided with the empire til now. Might as well.

 

[Smashing Axe]

Damn, difficult decision here. I'm glad we didn't inject ourselves with drugs. An interesting update nevertheless.

I feel we'll have more success with A, but at the same time I don't want to assist the cult in anyway shape or form. For now I'll vote B

B

 

[Azira]

Bear in mind, we don't know for certain that the Atman Foundation, which is running the asteroid in mention, is actually a cover for the cult. As least not as far as I remember.
If I'm right, then we're just speculating. It's likely, yes, but we're not sure.

 

[Baltika9]

Bear in mind, we don't know for certain that the Atman Foundation, which is running the asteroid in mention, is actually a cover for the cult. As least not as far as I remember.

Yes, we do. It was mentioned in the intel we've recovered from Relius.

Well, if that's the case, then shouldn't we head over to her base and derail her plans?

In her own house, on her own terms, while simultaneously protecting the lives of the Princess and Empress? Doesn't seem likely.

 

[Azira]

Ah, OK then. Good thing some people actually pay attention to ever little bit of lore we get.

I've flopped my vote accordingly. Not trusting the cult.

 

[treave]

Huh, some things to note about our current status.

Naim and his crew were former jet pilots who underwent a lot of simulation training before coming here. Technically the last battle was their first actual sortie in a mech. Hence Naim attempting flybys with Anhur. I think I overlooked that facet in writing; this is why people need editors.

This also means Senya is technically the most experienced mech pilot in the entire ISC/Higashi, having had two sorties for practical combat experience. Also the ISC mech pilot scoring the most kills, with a grand total of one.

 

[Baltika9]

What is this Shangjing Incident?

Activity of the organization is highly restricted and monitored by authorities worldwide since the Shangjing Incident in 4007 A.C.

It seems important.

This also means Senya is technically the most experienced mech pilot in the entire ISC/Higashi, having had two sorties for practical combat experience. Also the ISC mech pilot scoring the most kills, with a grand total of one.

We're downright fucked then, aren't we?

Edit: if we weren't protecting the Empress and the Emperor's heir, I'd be sailing full steam ahead to the moonbase; but we can't afford to put them at unnecessary risk, it's simply way too dangerous for the planet as a whole if they die. For one, the NSE will fully commit to a total war as a result, I'm sure, and Sargone will surely be affected in his bad health.

Doesn't mean we should ignore them, in fact investigating them ASAP after this is the optimal course of action. We absolutely must know what the fuck is going on here.

 

[a cut of domestic sheep prime]

Yeah, well, I'm a little fed up with protecting the Empire at this point. I mean, we're already a hero of the empire several times over and we still get talked down to by Naim, Prince of Uselessness. That's why I was tempted to go to the rock first and abandon all concern for or current "allies". Not Senya's "pussy count" (ie, a steady zero), just to be clear. However, that may be a little inconsistent for us. We made our bed with the Empire and we should lie in it.

 

[Baltika9]

Forget all these wankers, Kyrie's princess complex included. Seriously, why the fuck should we dance to her tune? I'm not interested in playing the medieval courtier with her and winning jousting tournaments in "the Fair Lady's name." What has she done for us lately?
Seriously, the girl has been nothing but trouble: first she gets us out of top class on a whim, then we save her ass from an unwanted courtier and are promptly rewarded by being dragged to "Bumfuckistan In Space" where we proceed to drag her family and BF out of a hostage situation with nukes. And do we even get a thanks or support in return? Nope, she's cozying up to Nahim. And that shows me exactly where we stand: entertaining boytoy for her to play with, or "friendzone" in modern terms. There is absolutely no logical reason for us not to ditch her after this operation, too bad that her death will most likely spark tremendous outrage in the Empire and a "REMOVE WORST CURRY FROM PREMISES!" sentiment. (Which is why I told you to go with Erika to the Dunamis group. We would be boozing and whoring it up with Uncle Shulgi right now, but nooo, Kyrie takes priority.

Not Senya's "pussy count" (ie, a steady zero),

Rejoice! For that is how we know he is The True Son of Ean!

 

[Esquilax]

Voting B.

 

[treave]

I haven't written up the aftermath of the previous battle for the sake of brevity. Don't go jumping to conclusions. Remember, only a very short amount of time, measured in hours, passes between the start of the chapter and the latest battle. It sounds pretty insecure to be butthurt that the princess isn't fawning over you for a couple hours or so, or that all of the empire isn't bowing and scraping to you for saving their head of state once.

Shocking, even, given the allegations of Shephardz Syndrome prior to this.

 

[a cut of domestic sheep prime]

Psh. I don't know how many Emperors you've saved, treave, but every Emperor I've saved practically threw his daughter on my bone. True story, bro.

edit: I'm not really that upset. Just finding the rewards underwhelming and wanted to see what was up w the cult. But you're right, it is a bit early to give up on the relationships we've built so far over a little butthurt.

 

[Baltika9]

You misunderstand, the reason I want to GTFO from Kyrie is because she does dumb, emotional shit that gets Senya into deep shit (considering that we are doing very well on our own in this aspect, we don't need her help here) and generally seems to lack, shall we say, respect for him (yes, this is about "where the fuck is my respect?") after saving her daddy from superhuman usurpers, saving her from an unwanted suitor and being the only one to actually have the balls to befriend her. Being her chew-toy and winning her whims isn't my idea of productively investing Senya's time and efforts, especially considering World War ITZ is raging.

I haven't written up the aftermath of the previous battle for the sake of brevity. Don't go jumping to conclusions.

Perhaps I'm misinterpreting the character here or overreacting (and if so, I will readily change my position; because hey, she's the Emperor's heir which may put us in a very interesting position ,for one, and two, she's starting to remind me of Sek in some aspects), but it seems to me that jumping through all these hoops for someone who doesn't even have a decent booty is, under these circumstances, well, counterproductive. And if there is butthurt involved, it's there because we traded "Uncle Shulgi's XXXTREME roadtrip with booze, hookers and vidya gaems" for this. And, yeah, saving an emperor is kind of a big deal, not sucking cock big, but big enough for respect and admiration, especially considering who and what tried to do so. Although I do see how it would make things a little too easy for us.

Shocking, even, given the allegations of Shephardz Syndrome prior to this.

Meh, I'd rather repeat the whole evervirgin thing again. Seeing Ean shrug off flirtations and seduction (Aphrodite doesn't count because of haxx) was pretty amusing.

Psh. I don't know how many Emperors you've saved, treave, but every Emperor I've saved practically threw his daughter on my bone. True story, bro.

Dude, weak. I was given a duchy and two princesses (twins) and an appointment to his personal honor guard. I dunno, maybe it was because I saved him from superhumans.

P.S: But for now, let's focus on getting her and the empress back to Sargone through the blockade, in before Bad End and all that.
As for the "sake of brevity" thing, I don't think anyone here particularly minds reading big chapters. In other words, moar is better.

 

[treave]

Simply put, there are those in the Empire who'd sooner have you strapped to a table while the Empire's finest unethical minds dissect you, after your little freakshow. Also, why do you think Kyrie was actually trying to get you to interact with her mother? For the lulz of your discomfort?

 

[Baltika9]

To quote Sand: "Ahh, clever girl."

For the lulz of your discomfort?

Uh, yes?
Anyway, here's a tally for ya
A- 5 m4davis, Kipeci, GreyViper, Zwist, ScubaV
B- 6 Storyfag, Baltika9, Esquilax, Lambchop19, Smashing Axe
Now let's go show teach these curry eating pussies why you don't fuck with Hoshikawa "Creed" Senya! Or die horribly and pathetically in an ambush at the hands of superior Vizala technology.
And a caution about our power to see fault lines, we should be very careful with it. Something tells me that if we go full retard/overuse it/put too much power into it, we just may tear another hole in reality.

 

[treave]

To quote Sand: "Ahh, clever girl."

For the lulz of your discomfort?

Uh, yes?

Well... partially, I admit.

As for the Shangjing Incident, it involved the Tenchishinri, a nuclear reactor, and a lot of explosives. The result was quite... volatile. At least, that's the official story. The Tenchishinri were pretty much wiped out after that.

I'll close the votes once I have the time to start the update, which should be in perhaps 6 hours or so.

 

[a cut of domestic sheep prime]

Alright, treave, we'll give the girl some more time.

Something tells me that if we go full retard/overuse it/put too much power into it, we just may tear another hole in reality.

Uh-oh...

 

[Azira]

I'm not buying that. Sure, if that is our goal. But it seems we've only fractured fault lines on purpose yet. If we see one that seems to fuck up reality, would we be big enough idiots to tear it?