Alright, now that you know the team it's time to hold the first team meeting. I will LARP it but try to keep the real outcome. And no worries, I will only LARP team meetings and private conversations with players.
: Hello everyone, I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Scrooge and I am very glad to be your new coach. I also want to inform you that I am planning on making stabby the captain of the squad with Abnaxus being the vice captain.
: Yay!
: Wait, what? A woman as a captain?! And we've got a female coach now?! What is this, some kind of sick joke? Get back to the kitchen you two ffs!
: Does anyone else have a problem with that?
: Yes
: Yep
: No
: Yup. Or whatever. Can we start playing already?
: May I touch your breasts?
: Coach? Captain? What are you people talking about?
: Well whatever, you've got to arrange with this situation. Let's get to the next point. I plan on finishing top half this season, maybe we can even do better, we will see.
: What?! How is this supposed to work out? We will barely be able to stay in the league! Geez!
: I like your ambition, coach. Maybe this won't be too bad after all!
: Huh? Stabby, I made you the captain because you are the most determined player in the squad and now you are already giving up? And rawnaldinho, the least determined player is complementing my for my bravery? Are you all nuts?
: I still don't get what this is all about. I thought we'd be here to do some music.
: ...
: Sea what the hell are you talking about? This is a football squad, not an orchestra.
: Football?! What am I doing here, I am resigning!
: Err, you signed a contract.
: But I don't even know the rules!
: Just sit down now already, ok? All you need to do is play the ball to me. I will take care of the rest. Actually coach I think you should just nominate me for the games and keep the rest on the bench. Hell, you could even sell the others. Maybe stabby could stay if we really need a goalkeeper.
: ... Well I guess this is going to be an interesting season. Any questions?
: I still don't think we should be aiming for such a high goal, I am now depressed and my moral is bad now ;_;
: What she said.
: We are ready coach! Let's do this!
: Alright, I think the meeting has run it's course. See you on the training ground.
---
Unfortunately I forgot to take a screen of the moral changes this meeting caused but most players reacted well.
Shitnipple's moral dropped a little while stabby is completely on the ground now.
So let's introduce to the press next.
Question mostly focus on my gender instead of my awesum managerial abilities. The mouse points to the given answers.
going full megalomaniacal already
Next, we will set up training for pre season. I won't allow resting before match day as long as we are playing friendlies. You guys need to understand the tactics after all. My other focus will be on building up team cohesion. 11 friends you shall be.
And this is the tactics we are going to use (thanks to
Ulminati)
Next we will set the squad win bonuses. Play well and receive more money, you spoiled brats! Can't give out too much money though since the club is not exactly rich. Thus the 'normal' setting will have to do it.
Alright, time for the draw of the first cup round. I forgot to change the name of it though, but whatever. Just imagine DFB as 'Dirty Fag Bros' or something else more codexian.
And we will be going against...
drums rolling the glorious Neckarsulmer SU from some very low league you can't even view in the game. We will most probably slaughter them.
We've also got our first injured players. Shitnipple and DDZ got injured during a friendly match. Not a good start, Shitnipple will probably miss the first games of the season.
Also stabby is bored in training. Well, alright, more work for you then.