Anime Let's Unbox Boxes in Wasteland 2! (The End)

[RK47]

Spoiler

Looks clear, sir.

Yeah, looks like.

Something buried there. Might wanna dig in.

Yeah, thanks. I'll do just that.

Some sap gloves, bullets and ...a camera?

A camera that improves Outdoor activity. How nice. Check out the shrine, boss.

Some kind of meme, maybe?

Whatever it is, it's just dumb. I can't believe this is an official content. What are we supposed to find in here?

Says we're inspired. What the heck does it mean?

Oh well, time to move on people. Seems that's all there to is to this 'shrine.'

Okay, let's return to the Citadel.

Hey, there's General Vargas training a new team.

Probably our replacements if we ever bite the dust.

Not with me around you guys won't. Rangers are always on the look out for new recruits anyway. The gangs out there, are bigger than us - and Vargas won't be around forever.

Yeah, don't wanna end up like the Brotherhood of Steel.

No, siree.

The Brotherhood of what-now?

Eh, ignore them, it's just a fictional order of post-apoc Paladins who stockpiled pre-War tech and stay hidden in bunkers instead of integrating in the new world. They went extinct because of that.

I... see.

AVERT YOUR PITIFUL STARES, WOMAN!

C'mon, Bro. No chance of that happening here. We're the Brotherhood of Steve, remember?

Cuz you are a piece of me...

I wish... I didn't neeeeed

Chasing relentlessly~

Still finding I dunno why!

If our love's tragedy,

Why are you my remedy?

If our love's insanity,

Why are you my clarity?

Sounds like a popular hit back then.

Kinda.. heh. Let's report back to Vargas.

You think it was more than just a robot, sir?

I don't know. Honestly, Ace fought plenty of robots in his time, and they never gave him any trouble, so I'm wondering if this was something new - something worse. And if it is, we better find out. Listen, if you brought a part of that thing back with you, give it to me and I'll show it to the techs in Armory.

We got the leg here.

Nicely done, recruits. I'll hand this off to our researcher, Captain Mercaptain. She'll be a pig in shit with tech like to play with.

What a name.

And here are the pages recovered off Ace's log book.

Excellent work. Let me have a look. Hmmm. Not much here is there... Let's see... "Fell in with a Snake Squeezins seller..." Uh-huh. Okay. "Getting that feeling of being followed..." Damn, tells a sad story, doesn't it? Guess what came out of the dark was that damn killer robot.

I'm guessing the best lead is finding the last guy who met Ace?

Yep. Find this salesman in Rail Nomads. Maybe he knows more. Like where the rest of the log book is.

I find it strange that the General thinks we can even find the rest of the log book proper in the wastelands.

Just go along with it lah, it's not like we're hunting a platinum chip or the elder scrolls.

Alright troops, let's trade our salvage for something nice.

Gonna hunt something big eh?

Was kinda hoping it won't come to that, but those sticks of dynamites look reliable enough in a pinch.

You bet, take care now.

Leveled up some more too, looks like we're making good progress.

I'm kinda annoyed the General is still not letting us into the Citadel, what's in there? A bunch of imbalanced weapons of some kind?

I'm more mystified why Angela can't just go inside and fetch us some high grade supplies. She's a veteran for fuck's sake.

What would Sawyer do?

Sigh, no point in whining guys. That's just how the game works.

Nice gun you have there.

Hey uh... can you make an exception for us just this once? We're on an important mission from the General over there. We really need those supplies.

Nice try, recruits, but it won't get you through this door. I like your sass, though. Tell you what, I know you wanna get inside so you can get your hands on the good stuff in the Armory. Well, I got a little toy that might just tide you over. Interested?

I dunno man, he's black and he obviously has bigger dick than all four of us combined...

I'm gonna pretend I never heard this conversation if you struck any deal with this guy.

Guise, chill. I didn't install any LoversLab mod.

Pretty sure that's a promise we can keep.

Great. Here you go. Treat her good and she'll do the same to you.

Phew. For the moment I thought we might regret playing an all-male party.

Lemme see that gun.

Fuck's sake, this is no pistol. It's an effing shotgun. I'll keep it.

Go ahead. Help yourself.

Alright, folks. Decision time - where to go first?

I really want to get to Rail Nomads and find that salesman first, but I suppose you guys are too green to survive the northern wastes.

Eh? Why not?

Well, it's because of that-

It doesn't look like a good symbol to travel through.

Where's RadX when you need one.

You guys won't make it without a rad suit. So it's either Highpool or Ag Center first.

Eh, I think I'll go explore first.

Yeah, could be worth having good experience out there, a few scraps here and there. Just make sure you have enough water to return to an oasis.

Yeah okay.

God that was just too easy. It's almost like we're not even past the noob zone.

Kinda felt bored after one-shotting so many crap. But I doubt HP buffer is gonna make the game that much interesting.

Not doing it would be more harmful IMO. No kills, no loot. No loot, no scraps. No scraps, no upgrade. No kills, no EXP.

Terrible shit.

Quiet. I'm picking up something on the radio.

Shit sure sounds heavy in that direction.

Just a bunch of raiders. How close are we to Highpool anyway?

You boys are way off if you want to head to Highpool.

If anyone can hear this, come at once! Don't know how long we can--

Radio cut off. Jeez, reminds me of The Old Republic. Maximum cliche.

Ugh. We're getting nowhere anyway. Water supply's getting low. Let's double back to the oasis and break south.

Aye, Commander.

Y'know, why can't you just pick a destination and have the auto-nav work our journey pathfinding?

I kinda want to, but it gives an illusion of railroaded gameplay.

Good point.

What are you nerds whining about again?

Uh, nothing just trying to look for fun before hitting Highpool.

Fun, huh? Being a Ranger is not fun and games, boys. We're here to protect the weak. We didn't start being Rangers cause we wanted to have fun.

Let's rape her guys.

Up ahead, I see oasis.

Nice work. Gentlemen, let's refill our canteen for a while and make camp for an hour.

An hour later...

Now I kinda miss Fallout traveling.

Yeah, pathfinding is shit man. Avoiding yellow circles, getting hit by these random encounters... trash mobs like holy warring Slavics Pagan in CK2 for demesne.

Sir! Incoming transmission!

What the fuck?

We copy.

Roger that. Listen, Echo One, I have no-one else in the area and no further intel at this time. I'm afraid it's gonna have to be your decision which call to respond to first. Whichever one you chose, get there ASAP. Both situations are emergencies and both sounded like they were deteriorating rapidly. Copy?

Kinda coincidence isn't it?

Indeed. I don't like this one bit. It's like somoene's monitoring our transmissions and trying to stop our little radio experiment before it starts. Keep an eye out and good luck.

Vargas sounds worried. He's right though, we're stretched this. This team won't be able to get to both city in time.

So where do we go first? Raiders are wrecking Highpool, while some kind of plant is raping Ag Center.

It's your call, Commander.

Dealing with humanoid threat seems like the easier and predictable of the two. Highpool, IMO.

Slicing vegetables seems kinda easy. If we let the Raiders take over Highpool, it might be harder to dislodge them afterwards.

So it's on me, huh? Well... Let me think about it.

 

[Azira]

Choose wisely.

 

[abnaxus]

Do Ag Center, it's hiver's favourite location.

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

Gentlemen, since we're closer to Ag Center - we'll head there first.

So... Plant vs Steve it is.

Well, let's hurry up then. Both cities are in deep shit.

We're here. Let's lock and load.

Copy.

This place is certainly really green.

Movement up ahead. Looks... humanoid?

One of the townsfolk?

Hang on, we're Rangers.

He's not even wearing pants. Keep your distance.

What's happening? Calm down, we can help.

Hey! What's wrong with you!

He had a blast.

Yeaaaah.
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/829607/wastelah2/0006/difen.jpg] :lol:
[img]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/829607/wastelah2/0006/rk.jpg No time to jest, guys. This is serious.

I don't know how bad Highpool is right now, but this place won't last long with those things crawling around.

Alright, let's recon ahead first. Check out that area to the north. Angel, you're on point.

Found a safe boss. It's locked.

Can you force it?

No way. No amount of brute force is gonna cut it. Need safecracking skills, those electronic ones need the hacking know-how. Alternatively - yon try guessing the combination yourselves.

Sigh. I hate to let resources go to waste. Why can't we just blow it up with a dynamite or something? Any volunteers?

I'll learn it.

Good man. Get to work.

Sheee-it. That's it? How disappointing.

Looks like the outer parameter is clear. Let's move in.

Tall building on the right. Let's get a nice view from up top.

Top side: clear.

What else do you see?

A giant salad farm.

We're into mad science territory now.

Can't see what's so bad about having large vegetables... but that exploding mutant worries me more.

Whatever is happening to this town, it ain't natural.

Giant Pumpkins down south. Giant sunflowers, Hell anything that grows here are too large.

But what about your breasts?

*glares*

OK, no more foolin', let's get serious. Whoa. What the eff.. giant flies.

Don't get too close!

Why you little-

This shit's moving pretty fast, bros. It's just trash combat.

Yeah, it's so fast that motion got blurry, man.

Execute ambush on my mark!

That's the last of them.

Reload and let's move on. I want to get to the bottom of this.

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

Huh, that's...loot?

I guess we shouldn't be picky. They're just mutated bees after all.

Well, looks like we got Thumper over here...

Giant rabbits? Maybe I can tame them!

Don't be a dumbfuck.

He's right, don't take the risk. They're not rabbits anymore.

Here rabbit rabbit...here...

Told ya, dipshit!

Uh oh, holy shit! They're fast!

Ow, ow!

Get some!

Fuck, are these guys even worth the EXP?

Who cares? I don't think we even have a tactical retreat option!

For fuck's sake...

YES!

Lol, the rabbit ran?!

Shit.

Well that was worthless. We lost the EXP and possible loot off it too!

Less talk, more action, boys!

Whew, that was the last one.

Guess whatever turned them big made them aggressive as well.

Yo! I got a huge lucky rabbit's foot!

Nice trolling. No way Fargo would've added magical artifacts in this fucking post-apoc gam-

Guys, analysis of the situation?

Incoming trash combat.

What he said.

Talking horse as a final boss. Calling it now.

Sigh.

This isn't exactly just a farm, you know. There are researchers too inside, who knows they might've screwed up somewhere.

Yeah, good thing we came here first.

I just hope Highpool can handle things by themselves for now. Let's hurry.

Hey look, a door.

Someone's inside. Let's get closer.

Jeez, so polite.

Hey, help is here! Calm down!

Can you open this door? We're the Rangers!

Allow me. *Snikt*

Whoa, did that bulb-thing just make a noise?!

Get back!

Fuck. I feel a little feverish...

Not good. Let's get inside and get some answers! Quickly!

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

47, what are you waiting for? Let's head on in!

Just a sec, there's some samples we can collect off this thing...

Rangers! Where have you been?

Apologies for the late arrival.

Ms. Lawson, meet the new recruits.

Forget the friendly intro, Angie! Wasn't the deal we made with the Rangers, "We give you food, you give us protection?" Well, your recruits are looking pretty goddamn well fed, but we've been up to our tits in killer tomatoes for eight hours with no Ranger in sight!

Did she just call us fat?

Sigh... take it from here, Steve. Learning to deal with angry citizens is part of the job.

I'm a Ranger, not a forum moderator.

Yo, did you say 'killer tomatoes'?

Well unless you're too blind to notice - every goddamn plant started growing out of control! Mutating! Exploding! Attacking my people! It's like they've gone rabid or something.

What went wrong?

Rose thinks there's been a contamination in the fertilizer system. She also thinks it's a deliberate sabotage.

You think it's an inside job?

I... I hope not! I don't want to think that anyone here would do this. We're a happy family. We all want the same thing. To make the wasteland green again.

Well, don't you worry. We're here now, and ready to help.

About time! Listen, we think the irrigation system is contaminated. Unfortunately the computer that operates the pumps seems to be malfunctioning and we can't shut it off remotely.

Can it be repaired?

Don't know. It's down the corridor past the airlock behind us. I can open that lock, but if you're gonna do your job and rescue our guys, see Rose. She has the current override codes for the greenhouse airlocks. Either way will lead you to the computer room eventually.

Sounds good. We're tech support, shouldn't be an issue.

Great. You can shut it off from there if you manage to get working. If not, head into the fields and turn off the valves by hand. Now get going before anymore of my people die!

Hey, before we go. Tell us where your radio dish is! We need it to investigate a distant signal.

You... you want to use our radio dish? Now?! Can't you see we're in the middle of a fucking crisis? Fuck you. Go find it yourselves!

Fuck yourself, bitch!

Wait, wait. Chill out. It's getting too personal here! We all need the same thing. Get this crisis under control, and reach the dish safely.

Smooth, Commander.

Heh. Kate, on the way in, one of my squad is hit by an exploding pod. Do you know anything about it?

Those red pods? Oh shit. Yeah, they go boom if you get too close. Come to think of it, everyone who's changed into one of those pod people got blasted first.

Pod people?

Wait, are you saying your people turned red all over and explode too?

I-I think so. I saw a few like that on the monitors.

I think we ran across one just outside the town's entrance. It was a blast.

Shit.. Shit. Shit. I'm gonna be like. One of those things?!

Calm down! There's gotta be a cure!

Well as a matter of fact: there is! If I could get one of those pods to study - intact - I might be able to come up with a cure.

Bullshit! Those pods explode when you get too close!

Yeah, I'm not clueless you know. Alright, I suppose a handful of fragments would do. Let's say 10. We'll need at least ten.

You mean this red thing?

Yes! Give it here! Quick, get more 9 more! If we don't find a cure, the infection will surge back and we'll all be dead! Your friend too...

How much time we got?

Two to three hours.

Shit- shit. Shit. Am I gonna die a virgin? Fuck. So this is how AIDS feel like...

Calm down bro.

Yeah, bro... It'll be a blast.

Not. Helping.

Alright! Settle down. We're moving.

Yes! Go! Do your job! I'll open the airlocks, but remember - we have people trapped in the greenhosues, so talk to Rose for the door codes.

Operation Pillars of Virginity is a go.

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

Are you okay?

Kathy says she can fix me up. Hope so. Hurt like the dickens.

Well, take care, Matt.

Don't worry. We're on the hunt for those spores to help one of our own as well.

Ah, I recognize the uniforms, but not the faces. Must be new recruits. Hope this isn't your first dance, though, 'cause I got the feeling it aint' gonna be a walk in the park. Name's Matt Forrestal and I guess I'm the boss around here. Used to wear one of them stars, though, back in the day.

How'd you get hurt?

Same way most people did, got too close to those pods. Now I got a little plant-shrapnel souvenir.

How did it all start anyway? This whole place couldn't possibly turned giant farm all the sudden.

Not sure what exactly. Rose thinks the irrigation system's been monkeyed with. Whatever it is, everything in the facility is mutating faster than we can keep track of. The plants are growing weird exploding pods, the insects are as big as bearcats. Even the men... I don't know what they're turning into, but it's horrible. It's gotta be stopped.

We've talked to Kathy about that. Don't worry, we're on to shutting down that irrigation system and finding the cure.

Good, stay focused and you might bring your team out in one piece.

Hey, Matt. Have you heard about Ace's death?

Yeah, I heard. Bet I knew before the Rangers did. Damn shame.

You knew? How?

Heard about it from one of our farmers, Skinner. Said he talked to some wondering merchant who'd traveled with him and seen the attack. Recognized Ace by his description. That crazy hair of his...

Who was this merchant?

Don't know anything else about him. Go ask Skinner, if he's still alive.

Who's he?

He helps cultivate the fungi in the Mushroom Caves. Good man, if a little too partial to Snake Squeezins. Last I saw of him, he was in the mushroom caves lookin' for his family right after the plants went loco.

Caves? Mushroom caves?

They're below the center, you can get to them through the computer room. Perfect for growing fungi down there.

Matt. Got any supplies we can trade?

Eh... stock's pretty paltry right about now, but I've got some stuff you might be interested in.

We'll take those painkillers.

And I'll take...whatever junk you have. And cover the shortage with your scraps. Good luck out there, use'em if you're in trouble.

14,344 seconds remaining.

You'll make it.

That time limit is pretty fucking hilarious.

Yeah, kinda. I was worried at first, but seeing it literally giving us around 3 hours is just too darn generous.

I still want you fuckers to hurry up though.

Sure, sure. Let's meet up with Rose.

Hm? No time to waste! Difen, smash that door!

Fucking cock-sucking piece of shit.

Blast it!

Bah. One bullet ought to do it next time.

Right, right. Sorry. Got a little excited. Grab the scrapped pod fragment and move out.

The other door. Go.

Boss, careful. It might be booby-trapped.

Go for it, 47.

Almost...got it!

Difen, smash.

Fuck.

Allow me.

Do you even lift?

Bitch.

Hey, we're Rangers...we're here to help.

Yeah, OK. Difen, cut him loose.

No! Stop! Do it wrong and the plant might strangle him to death.

What to do then? We can't just stand here and watch him die!

It's a gamble...but I think I know which part of the plants to cut with my outdoorsman skill.

.. Go for it.

Alright. Stay still.

There!

Glad to be of help.

Intense.

Yeah, the way those sweat drip off her arms...

Alright Rangers, let's get a move on. We got an infection to cure. You gonna be okay, sir?

 

[laclongquan]

You are itching to use that joke from the get go, arent you?

Operation Pillars of Virginity is a go.

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

What a nice office.

That book looks interesting...

Puppies!

You know what? I think Angie should take it. She's the best at outdoor stuff anyway.

Aww, okay. But shouldn't you boys learn a few things too?

Eh.. we'd rather be indoors, really.

Yeah, it's safer.

Less people to get angry about. And stuff.

Eh. We just felt fine at home, that's all. C'mon let's go.

Gosh, wish we knew the passcode.

I think we're supposed to look for Dr. Rose?

Oh yeah, this is the west wing... she's in the east wing.

Wait, lemme try to hack it!

Fuck no, Steve. I don't want you to trigger alarms or other kind of shit.

Fuck man...

Later...

Looks like this is Rose's office.

Whoa, whoa. Peace.

Jeez, she creeps me out.

After what I've been through, can you blame me? Robot arms make me nervous.

Do you say the same to your old friend Gilbert? I understand he has a new leg now.

I hate that thing. Told him not to get it.

Would you rather he was still lame?

Ah, leave me alone.

Do you do breast implants?

Sorry to be brusque, children. Everything in this room is an experiment in progress, and not to be disturbed. Now, what can I do for you? I assume you're from the Rangers Citadel, here to help us?

Yeah, Dr. Rose. Say, that's a pretty hi-tech left hand you have.

Oh, that. I lost it in a gardening accident. A traveling doctor gave it to me. Quite a gadget, isn't it?

How does it work actually?

Pfft. I'm a botanist, not an engineer. But it's almost as dexterous as the old one. I've goten quite used to it. I wish I could say the same about the fuel cell that powers it.

A fuel-what now?

It... I shouldn't have brought it up. I don't like to talk about it. It's some kind of high tech power source. The unsettling thing is that the doctor implanted it in my chest. I have a glowing blue gem set right into my sternum.

Hot.

And no, you can't see it. I'm much too old to be flashing my lady bumps.

B-but we've never seen one up close...

You poor-poor baby... now shut up and get back to business shall we?

Who is this doctor who gave you that hand j- uh..arm job?

You notti boi.

She was from east of the old Prison, or so I'm told. Which is odd, now that I come to think of it. Radiation's closed off the way east for years.

I see. Well, Doc, we're here for the airlock codes.

Yes, I have them here, but listen. I want to come with you. I need more samples if I'm going to make sense of this mess. If you let me come with you, I'll take you through the doors myself, and I can help you find your way around. And don't worry, I have a gun. I can take care of my self. What do you say?

Kinda strange we have like...two girls offering to follow us already. That's like infinitely more than we ever got in real life.

Shhhh! Stop ruining it guise! Keep this up and we might have a third!

Yeah...I can see you have a big gun.

Two barreled too!

Every rose has its thorns, children. Mine's an antique. Shall we?

Yeah. Let's go then. We could use a guide.

Hey, look! Another survivor!

Is that Rachel?

Hey, it's okay. We're the Rangers. We're here to help.

Oh fuck, it's too late. She's too far gone!

Shit! No!

Stay back!

What a shame.

Yeah, she's kinda pretty.

Wanna reload and try to not encounter her?

Aww, c'mon. Let's not. Stop breaking the fourth wall, assholes.

Yeah... dinner's served. C'mon. Let's go.

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

Looks like someone just lost her mind. Hehehhehe.

Hahah. Nice one.

Tsk, so disrespectful. Stand aside. I'll open this door.

Wait stop! Allow me!

 

[abnaxus]

hiver deleted his Ag Center rant video. Pity.

 

[Azira]

I chose Highpool in my game, so I haven't really had a chance to experience Ag Center. How good is the companion?

 

[Baron Dupek]

I propably go Ag cause HP got too many assholes that talk rude to me. Leave these jerks alone.
Even for the price of constant box collecting...

 

[Azira]

Rose has 10IQ? Nice.

 

[RK47]

Rose has 10IQ? Nice.

5 Comp Science
5 Surgeon
2 Pistol

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

That's a job well done, Rangers.

That was too easy, sec - bandaging myself up.

Lots of those pods here, I'll pop them and collect the fragments. Might have enough to meet the quota.

Do it.

That should do. Job well done.

Doesn't seem like a way to cut down this obstacle.

It's too strong for conventional weapons, save your bullets and shut down the irrigation system first.

Guess we'll come back later.

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

Whatever, man. Let's turn in these spores and off-load our junk to Matt.

Don't worry, we've got the pods. Let's trade some supplies.

Good to hear. What do you need?

That rifle and its mod looks good. I'll also take that Leather armor.

You sure have a lot of junk - heh. Alright. You still owe me $76 scraps. Pay up.

Thanks.

I don't think any of us are trained to work on those gun mods.

Well, you'll be glad that I'm around then.

Sweet. The rifle's for you anyway since you're our best shooter.

Oh come on! I use rifles too!

You missed two shots in that fight, Steve.

Yeah, fuck that loser.

This is so unfair! I shd've taken snipers.

I don't think you'll be saying that when people straight up run to your face within seconds of combat.

It's done!

Wonderful.

Kathy, we've got the pods - start working on the cure while we rescue more of the researchers.

Now that's what I wanted to hear! Excellent work, rangers!

Now let's head back to that Western Airlock.

Yo! A toaster! And it's broken!

Go ahead, but try not to blow your fingers off.

Guys, look what I found!

I don't even know what that is.

Maybe it's a game or something.

Vanilla salt or gtfo.

That's the door that Steve can't possibly hack.

Fuck you man, Diploma in IT is obsolete and is a discipline that requires constant updating.

Yeah, but you missed graduation for PvP outside Giran in Lineage 2.

Don't fucking remind me.

Rose? The codes? Or do you want to show Steve how's it done?

Pfft - tech support? How about creating programs instead? Here, I'll show you how it's done.

Well, that settles it. Steve you can stop upgrading your skills. Maybe focus on safecracking.

Thanks, Fargo. Fucked by the meta.

Cheer up. Maybe we'll get new companions that cover other niches in the future.

Let's go.

Guess it's wabbit hunting season.

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

Looks like your problem is our problem now.

Ugh. It's not like it's a big deal or anything. Who the hell will take 3 hours to finish this entire complex anyway?

I wonder if higher difficulty may introduce shorter time limit?

I sincerely doubt it. But you can argue that being infected made any sudden U-turn to Highpool unattractive for first time visitors to Ag Center.

You're kinda right on that. Unless you're okay with the infected Ranger dying.

How did this start?

I was tending the rabbits as usual. Feeding 'em fresh veggies from the garden, when all of a suden the plants started blowing up like balloons. The insects too. And after they ate the tainted veggies, my poor rabbits started changing as well! It was horrible! I hope whoever did this die a slow and painful death.

You think someone did this on purpose?

I don't have any suspects or anything, but everything is fine for many days until today! I hope it wasn't one of us. That would be terrible. But if it was... maybe I'd pick that weirdo, Sue.

Why? What's so weird about her?

He's a strange one.

He?

Yes. He. He has a strange name, yes? Strange habits. Strange ideas. He's supposed to be a research assistant, and help Matt with distribution, but he spends all his time either feeding the pigeons or hiding in his room and reading. I really think he might be up to something.

Well, we'll ask Sue a few questions if we run across him later. We've cleared the path, you're free to go.

Alright, I'll head to the kitchen. Have you found Doc Larsen yet? Everybody you save is probably gonna be wounded, so you're gonna need him.

I'll keep a look out for him. Stay safe.

OK! I'll see you in the kitchen.

That's the dish?

It's hidden behind those vegetations.

Can we turn it on?

I'm afraid not. The vines are too strong.

We might end up damaging it if we activate it now.

You're right. Let's deal with the irrigation system first.

Fucking linear bullshit.

Passage's blocked by strong vines again...

Limit of patience... almost there.

Chill. Let's head down to the central computer.

Well, well look what I found in this safe.

Sweet. Think you can handle that, 47?

All I need now is a cowboy hat.

Alright this shaft down leads to the central computer...

Shit.

Highpool this is Ranger Citadel. Our closest team is already answering a call at High Center, but they will try to reach you as soon as they can. Do you read? Over.

This isn't fair, man. They radioed us first.

Yeah, yeah, Vargas. *gunfire* We've heard it all before. Highpool always comes last, doesn't it? The Skorpions don't treat us like second class citizens. The Skorpions don't-- *BOOM*

No one could've predicted this.

Ha! I can! AND FUCKING DID!

Mmmmm yeah, this is too binary. I'd prefer if there's a time limit instead. So there'd be scenario A, B or C. So you save the both towns depending on how fast you are.

Suck it up, rookies. Choices and consequences.

She's right. With all the infection going on, I doubt we'll make it to Highpool alive now anyway. Let's head on down.

A simple reboot ought to do it...

Shouldn't you let Rose do it?

And let a WOMAN steal my EXP?! No way!

Hope you don't screw this up, boy. Or else there's gonna be hell to pay.

Shhh! Quiet! I'm trying to concentrate here.

Just need to hit CTRL + ALT and.... DONE!

Who's the master?!

Alright, nice work. Team let's head down this cave first. There might be a survivor.

Can't dismiss that possibility. We'll keep looking.

Yeah, besides - they're EXP.

Damn straight. Watch for the spores.

No problem.

Giant flies up ahead, this is it, rookie!

We're not rookies anymore, lady. Fire away!

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

What weapon is that?

An energy weapon? Sure thing.

I can hear crying on the other side of the door, but it's locked.

Angela. Hit it.

Wait, we're friends-

Son of a bitch!

That's right. Calm down. Hold your fire!

Gee whiz, good thing guns aren't so deadly.

HP per level up for the win.

Phew. Let's save game and continue this LP tomorrow evening...

Today, aka 'Tomorrow Evening'

I told you this game is shit.

Reloading the save game at that point does nothing - you simply must speak with Skinner immediately after opening the door and he opens fire, or the game will bug out.

And so back to autosave we go.

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

Pssst... He looks like Keanu Reeves.

Oh god, you're right.

So...Mr. Skinner. You alright?

Yeah, I'm alright. I'm alright. Really sorry.

No problems. You said something about Sergio before firing that gun. Who's that?

He's my son. He was with his momma in the fields when everything went insane. I guess he musta caught the sickness somehow, 'cause when he came home with Marta, he... he attacked me, just like she did...

You mean, the body outside was your-

Yes. I killed her. It scared him off. I- I just couldn't risk coming out of the room and killing both my wife and my son on the same day.

Man, that must've been hard.

If only you Rangers got here earlier! Maybe I wouldn't have to kill my wife!

Yeah, we'll do the favor for you instead. Isn't that nice of us?

Manners, people. I'm really sorry about that, Mr. Skinner. We're trying to fix the problem right now.

Yeah, alright. If I found out somebody sabotaged us, I... I'd kill 'em!

Any prime suspects, Mr. Skinner?

Can't say for sure, but that Sue fella for one. Always trying to breed weird new plants. Maybe one of his experiments got outta control.

Oh, him again? Too obvious for a fall guy, isn't he?

Why is he so strange? Aside from the name of course.

Fuck's sake, who's the sick fuck who named their son 'Sue' anyway?!

At least it wasn't 'A-man-duh'

HAHAHAH you asshole!

You're going to tranny hell for that, motherfucker.

Look, I don't mean his name. Knew a guy named Moonbat once, so Sue don't faze me. Kathy hired Sue as a research assistant, but all he does is bitch about the way we do things around here. Keeps sayin' the plants should be free. That we shouldn't hoard them all to ourselves. If you ask me, he's the fella behind this mess. He did something to the plants to make 'em tear this place apart and escape into the world.

That's a nice theory, Mr. Skinner. But eventually he'll need a way to control those plants, else other nasty shit will end up killing everyone and turning them into exploding zombies.

Whatever, I still think he's the saboteur! If I see him, I'm gonna give him one for Marta and Sergio, right between the eyes!

What gave you the idea it was sabotage?

Well, it's gotta be something they put in the nutrient mix. Hell, when the crazy starts Doc Larsen gathered a few people to shut off the valves. Don't think they made it, though. I can still hear the pumps.

What can you tell us about Doctor Larsen?

He's a great guy. Been keepin' us fit and healthy ever since he showed up here a year ago. Me and him are good pals. He always comes down to the mushroom caves to chat and pass the time. Always interested in what we're working on down here. Said fungi and molds could be very useful for him in his work...

So he went upstairs to shut off the pumps?

Yeah. He's gone up with the fellas while I just been hiding in this storeroom. Makes me ashamed of myself. He doesn't even own a gun! I just hope he's still alive. We're all gonna need a lot of healing when all this is over.

You don't have to hide anymore, Mr.Skinner.

I can't help it. My son's out there - what's left of him anyway. I don't wanna come upon him suddenly and have to... to put him down. Much better if somebody else did it.

Easy. We'll put Sergio to rest if we run across him.

Yeah, it'll be a blast.

Wait. I hear you know about the merchant who saw Ace die.

Who? Oh, you mean Sammy Haas, the Snake Squeezins man. Yeah. He was there when Ace was attacked. Don't know how much you'll get out of him though. He was so scared when he told me I could hardly understand what's he saying.

Where can we find him?

If you're lucky, he'll be in Rail Nomad. That's where he stocks up on Snake Squeezins before he makes his rounds.

Pardon me for asking, just what are these 'Snake Squeezins' we've been hearing about?

They are God's greatest gift to his creation. Most delicious thing you'll ever taste. And really takes the edge off... well, everything.

Sounds like alcohol.

Ewwww...

Wow, you boys don't drink?

Gods, no. Smells awful!

And fucking expensive too.

Hah, you're all missing out.

Mr. Skinner - the path to the lobby is clear. Go ahead.

Thanks, but I don't know if I'm ready to go. Don't want to see any ghosts.

Oh, come on. Ghosts don't exist!

What else would you call dead people you knew and loved, who are still up and walkin' around? I killed one already. I don't want to kill no more.

We'll do it for you then. You just sprint to the lobby. It's clear. I promise.

Hey, Rangers, just let me come along, okay? I know I might meet my son out there, but that shouldn't stop me from helping out. Just let me come with you, at least till we get out of the caves?

Fine. You can come.

Looting Skinner's room got us some nice goodies. Like the M14, a clear upgrade form the default AR Garand.

We also found a strange fungicide attached to a tank.

For some reason, picking it up gives us EXP.
And after a bashed door, we found another store room with a trapped lockbox, a safe, and a fiberglass case.

The box is booby-trapped. While the safe's electronic locks yields to hacking.

The fiberglass casing however, is impervious to any brute force attempt.

You can only lockpick it, it seems. Boo.
And guess what's in the safe!

Gee, thanks Fargo. That's the kind of shit people would put in a fucking safe.

Going deeper into the cave we found another trapped researcher.

Angel, looks like we're gonna need some gardening done here...

No. I think you'll need my surgical precision instead.

Hm, be my guest.

Well done.

More stashed guns found. M2 Heavy machine gun fires 8 bullets per attack.
5.56 Ammo required. Not really a good gun considering its inaccuracy and somewhat low damage per round.
It could shred weak targets to bits with pure rate of fire alone.

We'll give it a spin later.

Looks like this is the last corner of mushroom cave to explore.

Oh no! It's him! Sergio!

Stand back, we'll take care of him.

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

Another weapon in random buried stashes/boxes. This time a SMG. The concept seems to be: a rapid fire pistol that sacrifices accuracy and slight armor penetration for increased ROF per AP spent.

We return to the control room anyway, with poor Mr. Skinner in tow.

Don't mention it. Alright, let's tackle the first airlock and make our way to the valve!

I don't know about you, but shouldn't we get a gas mask or something?

Video game logic lah. I bet it just poisons you for low damage.

So goddamn lazy.

Alright, since it's just a mild poison, it shouldn't be too lethal to breath it for a few moments. But we shouldn't expose ourselves too long. Angela, lead the way and we'll follow.

Go left!

Air's clear enough here, boys! Come on right in.

What else do you see?

Just a bunch of trash.

Hang on, we'll be right-

Anddd- done!

Show off.

C'mon, people move it.

What's this place? Some kind of storage?

We keep a few herbal samples here, delicate stuff. Take care if you want to pluck a sample. You might damage it.

Probably not us then... Angela?

Shouldn't be too much of a problem.

They're just trying to appease the 'niche skill owners' eh?

Well, so far so good. But I'm kinda annoyed that dialogue skills didn't seem to amount to much.

Diplomacy is always hard to implement.

Yeah, maybe they should just remove EXP altogether and give skill points after completing objectives. Huehuehue.

Don't think too hard now.

I've got it!

Hmm. What's this?

Lolwut. Break into a song?

You can actually spend 1 HP each to have this machine describe your character for you. Just for fun. No real meaning behind this at all.

At least I'm smart!

Hmph. What's my power level, Vegeta?

Cool shit, I should pick up sniping soon.

What about you, Angela?

I really shouldn't...

C'mon!

...Wow. This is so hot.

Don't you want to know mine?

Nope. Stay away, creepy woman.

Hmph.

Alright guys, time to move and-

I'm afraid we'll be delayed, sir.

Why?

Dem boxes, motherfucker. I understand trash mobs sometimes. But trash loot? Holy crap. It's like... what the fuck is the point?

Alright let's make a clean sweep. Stop nitpicking and have fun.

Later...

Sweet another sniper nobody will be using.

One of you should pick up sniping soon.

Hey, look. Cut her loose, Rose.

This will only take a moment.

Boss, just a box we can't pick nor break with brute force.

Who says so?! *Slams wrench on the box*

Looks like you destroyed most of the stuff inside...

Better than nothing.

Thanks for nothing, Fargo.

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

The corridor's full of poison gas and there are five fans you need to turn on to clear the fumes.
The first two fans are inactive, but the third is active, therefore blocking any path.
There's no reason to get the entire squad hurt by the gas, so we'll just end our toughest bitch, Angela to solve this little problem.

Fuck lockpicks.

The individual switches on the wall turns the fan on/off.
We hit the third switch to stop the fan.
The airlock in front of Angel is hard-locked, because we busted open the door on the way in.
Had we used a less violent way to bust it open, we'd have a clear path through the fumes.
But it's not a big deal. It's just a minor C&C

The last fan is blocked by vines that we can simply cut away to pass through.
Angela then activates the final two fans with the respective switches.

While a second man activates the first, second and third fans.

With the five fan blades spanning, the noxious fumes dissipate.
With that, we can now turn off all the fans with a single switch at Angela's side so everyone can continue down the tunnel.

That was some boring switch-hitting, man.

Well, at least it's kinda short.

I just can't shake the feeling we're still in tutorial levels man.

You may want to increase the difficulty level a bit. I'm getting bored.

Maybe at Highpool. C'mon. Let's keep at it. No one's reading this update anyway.

Uh-oh.

Highpool, this is Ranger Citadel. We read you. Do you copy? You are still transmitting.

Not for long IMO. Dammit, Vargas.

They're fucked.

It's not too late to go to Highpool, is it?

I dunno, you wanna do a what if?

Fuck, maybe after we're done here. Just keep a separate save.

Once you're done demolishing the fourth wall, can we resume the mission?

Sure, sure.

 

[RK47]

Tech Support

Spoiler

ironyuri: mate
ironyuri: mate
ironyuri: mate
RK47: what
ironyuri: i'm at the ag centre
ironyuri: mate
ironyuri: :p
ironyuri: lol
RK47: so many boxes in there
ironyuri: i have no fucking clue
RK47: so stupid.
ironyuri: what i'm doing
ironyuri: i've got
ironyuri: boxes
RK47: just read my lp then
ironyuri: and pods
ironyuri: coming out my ass
RK47: its not hard
ironyuri: do you shoot every pod and loot it?
RK47: its just tedium
RK47: yes.
ironyuri: i've been shooting and looting
ironyuri: every pod
RK47: did u go there 1st?
ironyuri: yeh
RK47: then read my LP
RK47: u'll get it.
RK47: it's not complicated.
ironyuri: i got 10 pod spores ages ago tho
RK47: it's just that fargo likes to vomit text
ironyuri: lol
RK47: and that makes ppl lost.
RK47: Find Kathy
RK47: and hand it over.
RK47: You'll need it if you want your ranger cured of infection.
RK47: If not, they might just explode.
ironyuri: kk
RK47: don't even think about the time limit
RK47: so meaningless
ironyuri: ok rk
ironyuri: those tough vines
ironyuri: the green ones
ironyuri: how do you get through them?
ironyuri: and how do i get rid of the poison gas
ironyuri: in the corridors
ironyuri: in the first underground bit
RK47: read lah
RK47: turn off valves
RK47: then u can weaken it
RK47: right click to examine
ironyuri: yah
ironyuri: but i've been to mushroom caves
ironyuri: turned on a couple fans
ironyuri: but not all
ironyuri: and i'm not sure what the fuck
ironyuri: is going on
RK47: ....
RK47: sigh
RK47: read LP lah
ironyuri: steve
ironyuri: ur tech support m8
RK47: its so simple
RK47: u cant even die
RK47: lol
RK47: u had to try so hard to die
RK47: i go eat
RK47: -.- try use ur brain lah

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

Yet another room full of impassable obstacle.

I guess the only way through is to find both valves and shut it down.

So much for multiple skills.

It's a strange way to enforce linearity while giving an illusion of 'multiple paths'

Yeah the defenders would argue that we're free to clear West or East shaft first, or head to Highpool altogether, but once you get the Ag Center itself, it's just a round-trip to hit Valve A and Valve B.

I'm not too sure about that - but hearing people getting stumped on these 'lever puzzle' amuses me. What the fuck? Assuming you read the conversation carefully, there's nothing confusing about it.

I'd say the amount of word vomit thrown at the players contribute to the confusion.

If you chinks are done discussing a 'GAME' can we get back to the mission?

Yeah, yeah.

So clearing the fume-filled shaft leads to this ladder up.

Only one way up then...

Oh look - a barn.

Look, just be glad it's not full of lockboxes.

I hope we meet something challenging. This is boring the crap out of me so far.

Check that vine covered door.

Oh boy, another trapped researcher - free EXP.

For rose, you mean.

Go back down to the computer room, it's safe there.

Later...

Moving on, oh look trash mobs.

...which dies so easily.

EXP speed-bumps.

Once you stop whining, can you help me open this door and...

Oh god.

 

[abnaxus]

its normal lah