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Completed Let's solo Baldur's Gate 2 on Insane (feat. The Codex)

Abelian

Somebody's Alt
Joined
Nov 17, 2013
Messages
2,289
Also, I made this meme image when I was reading Update 56, but then I scrolled down and saw you made the "Are you telling me that one does not simply walk into... drow city?" joke already. I should really start reading threads to the end before I start posting...
DrowCity_zps7a5818e1.jpg
 

MicoSelva

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Codex 2012 Codex 2013 Codex 2014 PC RPG Website of the Year, 2015 Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire Make the Codex Great Again! Grab the Codex by the pussy Insert Title Here RPG Wokedex Strap Yourselves In Codex Year of the Donut Codex+ Now Streaming! Enjoy the Revolution! Another revolution around the sun that is. Serpent in the Staglands Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Divinity: Original Sin 2 Bubbles In Memoria A Beautifully Desolate Campaign Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire Pathfinder: Kingmaker Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag. Pathfinder: Wrath I helped put crap in Monomyth
Last time on Let's Insane Solo Baldur's Gate 2:

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The Codex is doing his best impression of Robert Pattinson chased by Edward fangirls.

What? I never promised there will be no Twilight jokes at all.

------

Update #58: Hordes of the Underdark, part III - In Her Majesty's Secret Service

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Time for another level up. These have become pretty frequent lately.

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Oh yeah, baby!

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Some minor looting. A short bow +1, if anyone does not recognize the icon.

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I think I already know this ring.

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Almost like The One Ring, except it does not grant invisibility.

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We soon find the only other point of interest in the svirfnebli village, along with its fourth, and final, inhabitant.

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I'm so touched.

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Kkind of reminds me of Sime.

Please spare me the details.

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Balrog, woohoo!

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It's balor, actually.

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Looks like a run-of-the-mill generic demon. Kind of disappointing. You promised a giant winged beast!

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Holy fuckinson!

Still disappointed? :smug:

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Ouch. Just ouch.

Death Count: 225

Loading.

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Ok, it has my attention.

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Here's an epic level FUCK YOU IN THE FACE!

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OWNED!

For some reason this time balor decided to repeatedly try to paralyze our hero, bouncing off The Codex' magic resistance/saving throw wall. All in all, kind of anti-climactic.

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I'm guessing that even if it's not really empty, all other demons are trying really hard not to be there right now.

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What scroll?

Did he even give us anything? Wait a minute...

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Oh! This scroll!

Heh, heh... I actually have dumped it in the bag of holding, along with everything else we found around here.

Back to the cave.

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Ctrl-Z.

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I like how phrases 'magical item' and 'partial payment' fit naturally together.

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Great doing business with you.

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I like the name, but the item itself is not nearly epic enough and too much a mace.

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This gem is so bright that it could be used to end the dark ages.

Without further ado, we go to the Great Dark Cave.

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Holy shit, a dragon!

We can only see dragon-half because Adalon initiated dialogue faster than I was able to press PrntScrn, and I was too lazy to reload and try again.

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So, the drow are actually the rejected part of elven race? Gotta really hurt their ego to know that.

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Just my luck to meet a dragon with a PMS. I bet it lasts for years too.

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Sounds like Irenicus alright.

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You're not doing a very good job of selling your case, you know...

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I can see a few potential problems with taking an identity of a group of drow.

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Everyone on board the plot train!

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I could use some magic resistance right now.

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Yeah, great.

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She's definitely the biggest bitch I have ever met.

tl;dr: Adalon the silver she-dragon has 'hired' The Codex to retrieve her eggs, stolen by Irenicus, from drow city Ust Natha. For that she cast an illusion that will allow our hero to pose as a (group of) drow.

I wonder how that illusion works exactly. How can Minsc pose as a drow, for example? Or Korgan? Or Mazzy, for that matter? Wouldn't she appear to shoot arrows from her crotch, or something like that?

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What have you done ta me, you wild-ass biiiatch? Why is I bustin lyrics like this? Bitch turned mah crazy ass tha fuck into a nizzle.

Holy shit, are you alright?

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Da fuck I am. Da... The fuck I am. I think I can speak normally, if I focus on it.

Let us move on. To perform our next move, The Codex needs to rest first.

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But itz mah dirty ass... Oh, forget dat shit.

I was always wondering which language you are using to communicate with these guys when disguised as a drow. It probably is not Common, since a drow speaking this language would be a quite a bit suspicious (even if they usually know it), The Codex does not speak Undercommon aka Deep Speech, and Adalon never mentioned giving him the ability to do that. So, are they talking in Drow? I guess, they must be. Maybe these svirfnebli/duergar, or whatever they are, know this language because they live so close to Ust Natha?

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Wow, drow get a lot of respect around here for some reason.

Being unpredictable sociopaths can do that.

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It never worked for me.

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So, why do I need this spell exactly?

Fortune and glory, what else?

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Fair enough.

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Whoa.

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Tell me more.

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I like the non-committal dialogue options here.

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Why do I always have to be the dumb muscle?

I prefer to think you are the smart muscle.

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Flattery will get you nowh- Actually, you're right.

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Mundane tasks are basically my life. I have to scale to everyone's level all the fucking time.

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Damn fetch-quests.

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I don't give a fuck bout backtracking.

tl;dr Vithal promises us great riches for our help in his 'raid the planes' heist scheme, but first we need to retrieve his ritual book from the svirfnebli village.

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And of course they won't just break off tha book bein grateful dat I saved they village, cuz I be a gangbangin' fuckin drow now n' no muthafucka will recognize me! :x

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Huh. I really underestimated the respect drow get around here.

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To my surprise, it isn't all tentacle porn.

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If this was a bad horror movie, I would now grab his shoulder and shout 'HEY I BROUGHT YOUR BOOK!'

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Clever.

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And The Codex suddenly starts speaking royal 'we'. This game really was not meant to be soloed.

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Maybe I just felt like saying that.

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My gut tells me these guardians will be earth, fire and air elementals.

tl;dr: After we defeat the portal guardians Vithal will be able to enter the portals and steal some stuff from the other side. We need to do this three times.

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Such suspense.

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An elemental. Who could have guessed?

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With Vithal involuntarily tanking for us, we have no problems defeating the first guardian.

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Dude, you're almost dead. Do you realize that?

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Have fun.

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'k

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Yeah, you should probably step back. I don't want you dead just y- I mean I don't want you dead, period.

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Bring your worst, flameass!

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Fuuuuuuckyeah! :fuuyeah:

Well, that was close.

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I will wait here and regenerate.

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Back already?

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Sure thing.

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Can do.

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Come on, fart-man!

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THE FUCK!, biatch? Kill-stealin asshole!

Of course we could not leave that be, so I reloaded.

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You shall be graced by one of my epic abilities.

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PWNED!

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Yeah, you do that.

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And he's back.

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What a rip-off!

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My services aren't cheap, you know. :smug:

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You should also regret getting pounded almost to death by that earth elemental not so long ago.

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One-hit kill. Just watch.

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Oops.

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To add insult to injury, it wasn't even a contingency or spell trigger, just a software script, I think. And the worst thing, we could have still killed him, if I switched to the non-magical sword, as Vithal is not a Lich (who are cheating bastards) and can be hurt by normal weapons when he is protected from magical ones.

Death Count: 226

Load.

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Well, that was fucking awful.

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I'll be waiting riiiiight here...

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...Along with a couple of my friends.

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You will regret much more in a moment.

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Who's the bitch now!

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I think I just came in my armor a little.

Let us see what we got here.

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Pretty cool, actually.

It is one of those items I always forget to use.

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:fuuyeah:

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Oh, no.

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I would prefer to have the dagger controlling sands of time, but the spell is ok too.

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That's a lot of reading.

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An awesome-looking helmet that allows to cast that spell which never works. Ok, I guess.

After sorting our equipment (by which I mean dumping everything into the bag of holding), we move on towards Ust Natha.

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An ambush!

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Stop shooting at drow, you will break your cover!

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I couldn't help it! I tend to attack everything that has the red ring of death under its feet, by pure reflex.

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I guess we will know if that has broken the cover in a moment.

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Thatz right, itz me Ched Nasad from Veldrin. Or was it tha other way around, biatch? I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. As fo' mah group, it will, uh, arrive sometime later.

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'Male Fighterz Society', biatch? 'Female Fighterz Society', biatch? Yo ass can't be straight-up n shit...

They have matriarchy. You did not know?

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Well... That does explain a lot.

By the way, this is the one place where you can easily fuck up, by choosing the wrong dialogue option:

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I believe this turns the whole city hostile, but I may be wrong.

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Once more into the fray, I guess.

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Not that I am nervous or anything.

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B-baka.

---

Next time: The Codex will immerse himself in a pool of depravity, decadence, elitism and prejudice.

So, he should feel right at home.
 
Last edited:

Abelian

Somebody's Alt
Joined
Nov 17, 2013
Messages
2,289
[Ring of Folly item description]
The Codex: I think I already know wear this ring.
Fix'd
The Codex: My gut tells me these guardians will be earth, wind and fire elementals.
Seemed appropriate what with the Codex getting in touch with his funky side and all.

Also, in the Skull of Death item description, due to the fact that you scrolled to the bottom, the description reads "Death was supposedly destroyed". :lol:
 
Last edited:

MicoSelva

backlog digger
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Codex 2012 Codex 2013 Codex 2014 PC RPG Website of the Year, 2015 Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire Make the Codex Great Again! Grab the Codex by the pussy Insert Title Here RPG Wokedex Strap Yourselves In Codex Year of the Donut Codex+ Now Streaming! Enjoy the Revolution! Another revolution around the sun that is. Serpent in the Staglands Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Divinity: Original Sin 2 Bubbles In Memoria A Beautifully Desolate Campaign Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire Pathfinder: Kingmaker Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag. Pathfinder: Wrath I helped put crap in Monomyth
I modified and reorganised the opening post a little. It should be more up-to-date now.

It is still missing around 90 death descriptions, but I do not really have the time to fill them in now. That will probably have to wait until after I finish the LP itself.
 

MicoSelva

backlog digger
Patron
Joined
Sep 10, 2010
Messages
7,480
Location
Vigil's Keep
Codex 2012 Codex 2013 Codex 2014 PC RPG Website of the Year, 2015 Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire Make the Codex Great Again! Grab the Codex by the pussy Insert Title Here RPG Wokedex Strap Yourselves In Codex Year of the Donut Codex+ Now Streaming! Enjoy the Revolution! Another revolution around the sun that is. Serpent in the Staglands Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Divinity: Original Sin 2 Bubbles In Memoria A Beautifully Desolate Campaign Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire Pathfinder: Kingmaker Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag. Pathfinder: Wrath I helped put crap in Monomyth
Last time on Let's Insane Solo Baldur's Gate 2:

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We could say that The Codex is acting like a dick, because he is embracing his new drow identity, but we all know the truth.

------

Update #59: Sin City, part I - Lord of The Arena

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I'm not seeing drow army charging at me. So far so good, I guess.

Welcome to Ust Natha. In drow language ust is 'first' while natha means 'the', so this city's name is literally 'The First'.

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Why do you know this?

I've done some research, abbil.

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Wow, he actually used the 'outlived usefulness' phrase.

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He only deserved that for spouting clichéd dialogue.

Right.

As much as I like Ust Natha questline, mood and setting, scenes like this just make me facepalm. How in nine hells is a slave, even a trained one, less disposable than a drow, who takes DECADES to raise and train. I know that single life means nothing to the drow, and that's why they are so cool, edgy, evil and dangerous, but at the rate they are killing each other, the whole race would become extinct very soon, because there is no way their population growth rate would be able to keep them ahead of their casualty rate.[/RANT]

Instances of senseless drow violence: 1

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Show me what tha fuck you have up in stock, brutha.

This is actually a pretty good place to come shopping, some of the items sold here could carry various party members to the very endgame.

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This dagger is invaluable to mages who prefer daggers to slings when they do not feel like casting anything and it isn't too shabby for thieves either. Fighters probably have better options, although not as many as you think, since Fire Tooth deals an impressive 6-13 damage (including the 1-2 fire damage bonus), which is matched by quite few one-handed weapons.

The Codex has no dagger proficiency (at the moment), but we might pick this thing up anyway.

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This shield provides the biggest straight-up AC bonus in the whole game. There are a couple of shields in ToB, which match Sentinel (and give other bonuses on top), but I would still recommend getting The Sentinel for any party with at least two shield users.

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This is the earth version of the insta-kill-elemental staves of air and fire. Its other ability to summon earth elementals is quite useful too.

I actually wish bought it at this point in the game, but for some reason I decided to postpone that.

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Chances are you will not have any evil mages (magi?) in the party, aside from Edwin (who would wear Robe of Vecna anyway), but in case you do, you probably want this.

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Nothing beats The Impaler when it comes to raw damage output, but sometimes you just need that +4 enchantment to damage some enemies, in which case Spear of Whithering is your best possible backup.

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Usually you will not want any of your fighters to wield this sword, but if all your party is fire-proof, or if you are playing solo, Harbinger is simply hilarious to use. Maybe there will be an opportunity to show it off soon-ish.

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Are you done with your sales pitch? Can we move on?

Almost.

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Cannot really complain about the level-up rate in the Underdark, obviously due to abundance of high-XP enemies.

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Drow chain mail +5 screws a little bit with The Codex' thieving skills, but not too much.

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Switching Robe of Vecna and Ring of Protection +2 for drow chain mail +5 and Ring of the Earth may have improved our AC, but at the cost of saving throws.

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One last disadvantage to the chain mail is its suckiness vs. crushing weapons.

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Uh, no comments here.

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81 kills in this chapter were worth around 406K XP. Over 5K XP per kill on average. No wonder we're scoring level-ups like crazy.

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Ugh. I still can't look at myself like this.

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I'ma go wherever I want n' whenever I feel like dat shit.

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And what exactly is going on here?

They are torturing a djinni by repeatedly injuring and healing him.

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I see. Quite in-genie-ous, I would say.

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Horrible. I meant horrible, of course.

Sure you did.

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That depends. How much XP are you worth?

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And what would this be, I wonder?

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Must be some kind of local tourist attraction.

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I aint convinced...

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Uhm, maybe later.

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Well, if I wanted to save them before, now I don't.

It does not matter what you want, but what gives us the most profit.

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True, that.

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So, I need ta kill... Uh, rap ta you if I eva want these slaves freed, right?

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I don't give a fuck bout humans.

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So I need ta git a membershizzle card ta loot em. Check.

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I be bout ta be back.

tl;dr: We can only buy the slaves if we represent a noble house, like Lannisters or something.

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Cheer up, lady. Yo ass aint a BSN mod, you know.

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All the buildings here look more or less the same, but my magically-filled map says, this one is a tavern.

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I quite like the Sigil-esque decor.

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Our hero starts by trying to open everything that is closed, as usual.

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Sure, fire away, it aint like I be up in a hurry or bustin anythang blingin.

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Oh yeah, I've kicked it wit dem muthafuckas.

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Ha! That is straight-up pretty funky.

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Whatz yo' problem, lady?

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Stand back, bro. I'ma take care of all dis bullshit.

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Oh yeah, dat did tha trick!

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What the fuck?

Immediately everyone in the tavern turns hostile, including the guy we just saved.

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That's fucked up, man!

Load game.

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After reloading, we do not interfere and Merinid dies quickly.

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Tragic.

Instances of senseless drow violence: 2

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If you have trouble relating to drow issues, just substitute Josh Sawyer for Lolth and (for example) Larian for Vhaerun. And then imagine Roguey is the only moderator on the forums.

Terrifying, is it not?

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Shit travels straight-up fast round here.

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I could probably loot dis whole hood if I wanted to. Do I wanna risk mah game fo' 250 gold? Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Let me think... Yeah, ok.

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And I wouldn't like it when it's angry?

Shh, you're speaking common.

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Ah, shit. And I wouldn't like it when itz mad salty?

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When Szordrin says he opens the door for a short time, he is not kidding. At 60 FPS game speed, you barely have time to react, and I actually did not click fast enough the first time. You can ask Szordrin to open them again, but some scripting error caused them to stay closed when I did that, forcing me to reload and redo the whole tavern up to this point. :x

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I remember the last time I fought an angry hulk. It wasn't pretty.

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But this is where my new armor comes in!

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Yo ass gotz a gangbangin' fuckin nabassu as a arena beast, biatch? Where do you keep it, biatch? A pokeball?

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It's hard to say which one of us two is more out of place here.

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GG.

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Brin it on. I still don't give a fuck why I spared tha last one I met.

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Is a sahuagin prince really a more dangerous opponent than a nabassu?

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I withdraw my question.

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Anyone wants some sushi?

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Now I be curious.

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Morpheus is fighting Neo!

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Maybe I should have healed myself first...

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I keep forgetting that beholders cannot be backstabbed. Well, at least we got the first strike.

bg2_up59_061.jpg

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Oh, you're going to pay dearly for that!

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I just love the meaty splash these things make when they hit the ground!

bg2_up59_063.jpg

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It is nice to feel appreciated, for a change.

bg2_up59_064.jpg

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What's wrong, McFly? Chicken?

Additionally to providing us a total of 2500 gold (yay), clearing this arena gives us access to another one, previously closed.

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I think you can access it even without defeating the beholder in the monster pit, but I honestly never bothered to check.

bg2_up59_066.jpg

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Am I supposed ta be crew now, biatch? What tha fuck iz this, freshly smoked up chapter?

bg2_up59_067.jpg

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Alright, letz peep dis alleged masta of blades up in action.

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Lasaonar wastes no time in wasting his opponents.

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Soon, he is the last man drow standing.

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He is from Nightcrawler's gang of teleporting freaks! He needs to die!

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I started doin thangs locked n loaded fo' dis shit.

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Duels in this arena are one-on-one. Obviously, The Codex always fights alone, but if you have a party of characters, you have to select one of them to enter the pit.

bg2_up59_073.jpg

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Talk ta tha hand.

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Boosted by insane difficulty, Lasaonar is almost a 1:1 match for The Codex when it comes to sword-fighting.

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Almost.

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OWNED.

You have to give it to Lasaonar that he is is the only reasonable person in the whole game, who is able to admit defeat and surrender, instead of fighting to the his death.

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I can see who is wearing pants in this relationship.

Matriarchy, remember?

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Lasaonar's Blade of Searing is one step above Varscona, and we would be really impressed by it, if we found it earlier. Like, in the previous game earlier.

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I should have no problem cappin' dat biiiatch.

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What have you gots there, biatch? Surprise mah dirty ass.

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What tha fuck?

Huh? What is going on? Does she have a commando of invisible stalkers? I honestly have no idea where all this damage has come from. Does she emit a virgin-slaying field?

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Hey!

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We are forced to retreat behind a pillar, to break the line of sight.

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Not that I would want to criticize your tactical genius, but she is coming here, surrounded by some kind of portable meatgrinder.

Shoot her!

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We break Chanthra's spell-casting efforts a couple of times with some well-placed arrows, and she loses patience and decides to charge our hero. Her blade barrier spell has worn off in the meantime.

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Oh no, you didn't!

All in all, she proves to be quite a tough nut to crack.

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Go ta hell, biiiatch!

But not quite tough enough.

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The rest of the duels in this arena are for mages only. Obviously, our versatile hero can partake in them, although I am curious how they actually determine who is eligible for such a duel. Do they make participants perform cantrips or read a scroll beforehand, to prove they are actual mages? Can belonging to mage class be detected in any way?

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Wait a minute, where did that skeleton warrior come from?

Oh yeah, Chalinthra summoned it when you were hiding behind that pillar.

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I was not hiding! I was setting an ambush!

Riiight.

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Let's go for the golden 'divide and conquer' rule. I will take care of the skeleton warrior first.

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Yeah, ok, I might have forgotten to heal The Codex before the fight again.

Death Count: 227

Loading.

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I hate summons.

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Do I actually have to use magic in these duels?

It was sort of implied, but never explicitly stated, I believe.

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Good.

I think that maybe they should have thought of a rule forbidding to bring weapons to mage duels. Just saying.

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You do realise that skeleton warrior will be waiting for you once again?

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Sure.

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Now that I am at full health, I will just pull it away from the mage and kill it.

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FFS! Wait fo' yo' turn! :x

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Plan B; let's pick up all the equipment lying around.

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Quit settin me on fire!

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Now that's just trolling...

At least she's dead now. Or was it was it a 'he'? I honestly have no idea.

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After a promising start with Lasaonar and Chalinthra, all the remaining duels are against nameless drow, which is a bit meh. I still like this little questline, but it would gain a lot from being developed further.

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And s/he's gone. But not for long...

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I see you. Last chance to do something before dropping dead. Anything? No?

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Suit yourself.

Remember, kids, casting only Shadow Door at the beginning of combat at this level is NOT ENOUGH. Stay safe, use Mantle at the least!

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:smug:

---

Next time: The Codex take part in racism and ethnicity-based persecution...

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Ok.

...as a victim.

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Wha-?

NOTE: I am going on vacation on Monday, so this is the last update for some time (probably two weeks at least, maybe more).
 
Last edited:

Abelian

Somebody's Alt
Joined
Nov 17, 2013
Messages
2,289
MicoSelva" said:
Priestess of Lolth: Do not dare to address me, male! Look down upon the ground when Ipass and praise the Dark Mother of all Drow that you even possess your groveling life!
The Codex: Cheer up, lady. Yo ass aint a BSN mod, you know.
Pure comedy gold :D
MicoSelva" said:
The Codex: Alright, letz peep dis alleged masta of blades up in action.
'k
MicoSelva" said:
The Codex: Can belonging to mage class be detected in any way?
Yes, by making the character wear a robe and looking if it still looks like a robe on the character model.
:troll:
Obviously, this does may not work for dual or multi classed characters.
 

MicoSelva

backlog digger
Patron
Joined
Sep 10, 2010
Messages
7,480
Location
Vigil's Keep
Codex 2012 Codex 2013 Codex 2014 PC RPG Website of the Year, 2015 Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire Make the Codex Great Again! Grab the Codex by the pussy Insert Title Here RPG Wokedex Strap Yourselves In Codex Year of the Donut Codex+ Now Streaming! Enjoy the Revolution! Another revolution around the sun that is. Serpent in the Staglands Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Divinity: Original Sin 2 Bubbles In Memoria A Beautifully Desolate Campaign Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire Pathfinder: Kingmaker Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag. Pathfinder: Wrath I helped put crap in Monomyth
bg2_up60_000.jpg

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I didn't hear anything.

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Is we all shizzle dis muthafucka is straight-up receivin tha mindflayerz thoughts?

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Is there even any way of verifyin this?

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I mean, his schmoooove ass could be makin all dis shiznit up on tha fly.

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While bustin up at our asses inside.

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I be just sayin itz a possibility.

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Do mah playas even care?

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Guess not.

------

Update #60: Sin City, part II - Elgg Jal Colnbluthen

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I did not manage to capture the escaping elven mage in the screenshot.

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She was running so fast, she must have been an offspring of The Flash and Quicksilver.

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Yeah, THAT way.

I do not think player response matters here at all. It is just a question of making yourself feel good inside.

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Damn, and I was counting for a reward sex sometime later.

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That is insulting. When I actually meet her, I will punch her so hard, her brain falls out!

Epic foreshadowing.

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Ust Natha has some surprisingly heavy traffic.

In case someone has problems distinguishing what is going on in the screenshot: a drow male (and one other guard) leading a few svirn- svrif- deep gnome slaves is accidentally blocking the path of a drow female.

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Actually, you can easily walk through.

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Like I just did.

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I think this guy's fucked.

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His slaves are not the sharpest, it seems.

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Also, she addresses him as 'male'.

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Never a good sign.

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This would be the time to employ Rincewind's school of thought of not focusing on moving 'where to' but 'where from'.

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Or any school of though at all.

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...

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I should probably move away.

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For some reason, I was spared.

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Well, I don't envy street cleaners here. But then I don't really envy street cleaners anywhere, so...

Instances of senseless drow violence: 3

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Actually, dat would be AWESOME. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sign me up!

Yeah, dream on.

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I should have known this was only a tease.

How about we stop sightseeing and actually try to make some story progress?

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If we have to.

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I like how everyone in Ust Natha has to rub in that they are better than you until proven otherwise. However, I would love to see some reactivity outside of the critical path. For example, mastering the arena should be news enough to boost your reputation at least a bit, but it has exactly zero impact on everything.

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'Veldrin' means 'concealment' or 'disguise', by the way. Adalon mentioned it is a popular name among drow, which alone says a lot about their society.

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Yeah, contrary ta all other drow, whoz ass is avatarz of patience.

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Oh, he is one of the teleporting freaks. Just when I was starting to like him.

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Wasting no time, we arrive at the platform.

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Did yo dirty ass manage ta verify tha part where mah 'group' was smoked by umber hulks?

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Um, Electronic Arts?

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Def story, bro.

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Yeah, yeah, failure aint a option n' shiznit like dis shit.

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Solaufein is one of my favourite NPCs. I really like his style. The way he treats the player's party like retarded twelve year olds is exactly what you should do in his place: being given unproven and unknown quality help for an extremely important task. Any misunderstanding could cost lives after all (especially his life).

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Ooh, I can see he doesn't like that at all.

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Need to rest?

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Nah, I'm good.

Let's go then.

bg2_up60_040.jpg

codex_10.jpg
Ok, this is unexpected.

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What the fuuuck? Web!

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Ouch.

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No, wait!

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Well, shit.

Death Count: 228

Loading.

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I am having some bad feelings about this. Remember the last time when I was fighting a group which included a maze-casting mage?

I am trying not to.

bg2_up60_045.jpg


Let us scout a bit first.

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One wimp and his bat, one retard and his dog, one fanatic and her skeleton sex-slave, and... a goblin?

We should probably add one invisible rogue thief to this.

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Must be the goblin's owner.

Goblins can be free people, you know.

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I refuse to believe that.

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I remember this is how we dealt with the maze threat last time.

bg2_up60_047.jpg

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Boned! Oh wait, he survived.

You did not stab him hard enough!

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The goblin got in my way!

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I don't even know what is going on here.

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This should calm things down.

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Noooo! Fuck youuuuu!

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And he managed to cast it just before dying.

Death Count: 229

Load game.

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Can we ensure this batfucker dies when I backstab him?

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I think so.

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I Like it!

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Oh, come on!

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Not that I can tell everything that is going on, but this isn't looking well.

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Goodbye, everyone.

I probably forgot to make the death screen-shot out of frustration, but believe me, it was there.

Death Count: 230

Load the damn game.

codex_10.jpg
They probably hate me because I'm black.

Whatever, let us try again.

bg2_up60_057.jpg

codex_10.jpg
:fuuyeah:

bg2_up60_058.jpg


Web works surprisingly well here for a 2nd level spell. Most of the enemies get incapacitated.

bg2_up60_059.jpg


We leave the sight range of the group, pursued by the invisible assassin, who unfortunately made his web saving throw.

bg2_up60_060.jpg

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Hold still... Damn it!

bg2_up60_061.jpg

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Oh, FFS, can't you guys wait for your turn!?

bg2_up60_062.jpg

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Help, help, I'm being persecuted!

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Uh-huh.

Death Count: 231

Loady-load.

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Did we save the game after killing the mage?

There was no window of opportunity for that.

bg2_up60_064.jpg


Trying to spread out the group a little, we flee them as far as the entrance to Adalon's lair.

bg2_up60_065.jpg


Damien follows.


bg2_up60_066.jpg


We try to pull him inside the lair (sometimes enemies will follow you between maps), but no go.

bg2_up60_068.jpg


We ditch Damien and try to go back and backstab the mage, but he and Boz are blocking the narrow pathway, and we cannot go through.

bg2_up60_069.jpg


The skeleton stands quite alone, so we pick it as the easiest target.

bg2_up60_070.jpg

codex_10.jpg
AAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!

It does not go all that well.

bg2_up60_071.jpg


The Codex cowardly flees, using his Staff of Cheese.

codex_10.jpg
Fuck you!

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We decide to employ some high-level magic to aid our cause.

bg2_up60_073.jpg


Chandrilla is paralysed.

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There are a lot of things I could do to a paralyzed woman, especially from the back.

Not while she is wearing armour.

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You have no imagination.

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I will limit myself to sticking my long and very hard tool into her.

You are an awful person. Why cannot I have a likeable protagonist, like everyone else?

bg2_up60_076.jpg

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You get what you deserve.

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Well, you certainly said that in the exactly right time.

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You are so fucking dead, mouth-breathing surfacer!

bg2_up60_079.jpg

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Stop doing that!

I have to admit, I am having fun watching this.

codex_10.jpg
You're supposed to be on my side!

bg2_up60_080.jpg

codex_10.jpg
That does it for Chunks the thief.

bg2_up60_081.jpg

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This is highly disappointing.

bg2_up60_082.jpg

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How are your fireball-catching skills, Boz?

bg2_up60_083.jpg

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Urk! This must be how Oberyn Martell felt...

And we only survived that because of Codex' poison immunity, courtesy of Ring of Gaxx.

bg2_up60_084.jpg

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Time out!

bg2_up60_085.jpg

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I would love to backstab the mage first, but he is still blocking the passage.

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Time for some covert ops.

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He is already pretty seriously wounded, so this is basically a coup-de-grace.

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Oh, come on! Why won't you die!?

bg2_up60_089.jpg

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:yeah:

bg2_up60_090.jpg

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At least HE dropped something magical.

bg2_up60_091.jpg

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Pretty sweet, actually.

bg2_up60_092.jpg

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Here's my next best thing to backstab. Surprise two-handed sword critical strike!

bg2_up60_093.jpg

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No, no, NONONO! He's dead. He's fucking dead! I won! Don't send me to the maze!

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A pyrrhic victory, if at all.

Death Count: 232

The load of loads.

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I should have drank that strength potion.

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Let's see if you manage to cast a spell this time.

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Didn't think so.

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Nice, but I already know this one.

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Yo ass won't believe what tha fuck I had ta go all up in ta git here, Sol.

I really doubt he cares.

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Yeah, maybe I took so long cuz I had ta bust a cap up in a gangbangin' fuckin army of surfacers on tha way, while you probably just teleported here wit dat swirly thang I don't give a fuck bout all muthafuckin day.

bg2_up60_100.jpg

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Yeah, you do dis shit.

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Whoa, he's turning into a vampire from Twilight. Except there is no sunlight here... So confused.

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I think we are seeing some results.

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Yeah, definitely. That's an illithid.

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Well, this is kinda awkward.

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My positioning here is clearly sub-optimal.

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I'm fine. Happy to be able to tank EVERYONE. No problem at all.

We try to cast Death Spell to kill off umber hulks, but it fizzles.

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But we manage to pull off a chain lightning.

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And not a moment too soon, because The Codex was starting to get overwhelmed but enemy's superior numbers.

bg2_up60_109.jpg


Chain lightning changes the landscape of the battle, immediately destroying one umber hulk and wounding other enemies. The second hulk only requires a single strike to defeat.

bg2_up60_110.jpg


The same with one of the mind flayers.

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Solaufein kill-steals another mind flayer, but I decide to let it go and not reload.

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A well-timed critical strike helps us swiftly deal with the remaining umber hulk. The fight is basically over.

bg2_up60_113.jpg

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Oh, don't run away. We want to play with you.

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We manage to shoot the flayer down before Solaufein reaches it.

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I helped a lil too, I believe.

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Whatz wack wit rappin' right now?

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Watch up fo' straight-up shitty crews wit white privilege.

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Uh-huh. Sure, no problem. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Maybe I can slaughter another surfacer raidin jam on tha way.

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Forever alone. *sigh*

---

Next time: The Codex will need to learn to kill an ancient immortal enemy of all living things.

Time.
 
Last edited:

Storyfag

Perfidious Pole
Patron
Joined
Feb 17, 2011
Messages
15,895
Location
Stealth Orbital Nuke Control Centre
Solaufein is one of my favourite NPCs. I really like his style. The way he treats the player's party like retarded twelve year olds is exactly what you should do when dealing with Bioware fans

Fix'd.

TBH, I wonder if there is any difference if the party leader is female. I even *think* I made most of my talking in Ust Natha with Viconia just to be on the safe side, but all the drow still were obsessed with "Veldrin".
 

Abelian

Somebody's Alt
Joined
Nov 17, 2013
Messages
2,289
MicoSelva said:
Solaufein: If I were to speak of the devourers, Veldrin... you would know what of I speak, yes?
The Codex: Um, Electronic Arts?
:lol:
MicoSelva said:
Solaufein is one of my favourite NPCs. I really like his style.
MicoSelva said:
The Codex: Forever alone. *sigh*
In before Solaufein Romance Mod:
He will attempt to romance the PC regardless of race, gender or other loved ones.
 

MicoSelva

backlog digger
Patron
Joined
Sep 10, 2010
Messages
7,480
Location
Vigil's Keep
Codex 2012 Codex 2013 Codex 2014 PC RPG Website of the Year, 2015 Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire Make the Codex Great Again! Grab the Codex by the pussy Insert Title Here RPG Wokedex Strap Yourselves In Codex Year of the Donut Codex+ Now Streaming! Enjoy the Revolution! Another revolution around the sun that is. Serpent in the Staglands Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Divinity: Original Sin 2 Bubbles In Memoria A Beautifully Desolate Campaign Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire Pathfinder: Kingmaker Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag. Pathfinder: Wrath I helped put crap in Monomyth
Bros, I am testing new (and less painful to manage) ways to host the LP. Please tell me if you can see this picture and what is in it:

MPZfmY1x7ihSakHDDhTlxTHR53KL4xQASLMjB-hejQ=s186-p-no
 

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