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Anime Let's Unbox Boxes in Wasteland 2! (The End)

RK47

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Messages
28,396
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Dead State Divinity: Original Sin
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rk.jpg
Get to their last walls and clear a path for the ram!
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zhong.jpg
Here I come!
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yu.jpg
Put that fire out! Hold on! Just four days more!
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yuan.jpg
Fire! Again on that column in front of the gates!
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chong.jpg
Notch arrows and release!
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Three more days! Don't give in!
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Fight for your lives!
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zhong.jpg
You're beneath me! Drop dead!
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Ram team! Wait for the path to clear! Don't move! Reserve your strength!
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Come on, drop already!
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:rage:
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No fucking way I'mma let that happen!

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Nice save! Let's do this!
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Set up the ram and blow that gate to pieces!
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NO ! NO! Two days! HOLD ON! It MUST hold!
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Old man, just fire your bow!
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Destroy that ram! CHARGE!
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Ready! SWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!
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It-it's gonna blow!!!
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Take THIS!
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It's the last day. Please. Not like this!
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:fuuyeah:
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:prosper:
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:fight::mob::rpgcodex:
 

RK47

collides like two planets pulled by gravity
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Joined
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Messages
28,396
Location
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Dead State Divinity: Original Sin
00.jpg

rk.jpg
So it's true what they said. 'Climb Mt. Tai and the world seems smaller.'
guo.jpg
So it seems. The hardest part of this siege is over. Liu Yu will have no reinforcements, no cover and no hope.

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yuan.jpg
Then what are we waiting for! Charge!
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They're just delaying the inevitable. Pay it no heed.
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OW! FUCK!
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Looks like they're pretty random.
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Nowhere to retreat. Isolated from our own forces. What a disaster.
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I have no fear. Charge!
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guo.jpg
Perhaps you are being too hasty.
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No. It's time to try out a new trick!
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Ha ha! Look at them fighting among themselves!
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yuan.jpg
Fire flaming missiles!
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We're not giving up yet! Charge at the Commander unit!
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Shit!
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guo.jpg
You should extricate yourself from that situation quickly.
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No! I can do this!
zhong.jpg
Finally I get to shoot something!
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mancheng.jpg
The path to their council hall is clear! Go forth, men!
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Yeah!! Let's gooo!
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Fuck!
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You're in a bad spot.
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Get him!
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Shit!
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guo.jpg
If you fall, this attack is over. Huang Zhong! Rescue our lord!
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zhong.jpg
Light a fire on their ass!
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chong.jpg
I'll set up an ambush!
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Get Shi Difen! Nothing else matters!
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Ugh! They really want me dead!
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chong.jpg
I won't let you reach our lord that easily!
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OK! I'm pulling back! Fuck this!
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Good. Now we can finish the job without risk.
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Ram the council hall!
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It's over, comrades.
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Brothers! Victory!
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rk.jpg
:smug:
 

RK47

collides like two planets pulled by gravity
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Messages
28,396
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Dead State Divinity: Original Sin
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rk.jpg
And with that, Shang Dang is the last of Yuan Shu's stronghold. Capture that, and all 36 officers will either join us or be sent to the afterlife.
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Shang Dang has stockpiled their grain and gold reserves. Though on the upside, their population cannot support their drafting efforts.
rk.jpg
In other words, if we bleed their blood dry, they're done for.
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My lord, may I suggest a month or two of preparation? Our army lost quite a fair share of their numbers in Chang An. You should take your time and learn new tactics from the battle experience you just earned.
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rk.jpg
An excellent suggestion, Guo Jia. Get the drafting done while I'm gone.
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chong.jpg
Leave it to us, my lord.
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Man Chong, I'll see you later.

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Man Chong is a very interesting officer. Unlike most 'warrior-generals', Man Chong stats lies in Leadership (80) and Intelligence (70). His War is low (50) - War only determines duels and battle wounds from fire tactics - so as long he stays off dueling, he's a very good officer to have who can both perform as a military commander or tactical officer (Entice) when needed. A rare breed.

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Good going. Let's get a few drills down while I go get some governing decisions to make...
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Now, to learn another skill...
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The problem with skills attached to certain stats is that you cannot learn it if the learning partner stat is higher than yours by 10 point. Hence trying to find that 50-60 Leadership officers to pick up new battle tactics can be slightly annoying. You can solve this by buying stat boosting items (not-consumable, kept in inventory) but it's not really cost-effective. Also, you can also TEACH them new skills if they fulfill the requirement. But it's kinda troublesome to keep track of who's eligible for what and it's limited to what YOU can teach. You cannot tell Zhang Fei to learn tactic from Guan Yu, for example. And the AI never takes the initiative to do so since they never cultivate friendships on their own. Therefore this is proof that chinks are anti-social assholes. After checking the officer list within our kingdom, I finally managed to find one guy whose Leadership rating is low enough for me to learn 'Distract.'

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Funny shit. This guy is 27 but the portrait showed him in his late ages.

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Befriending this guy isn't too hard. With high Fame and persistence I managed to hit 'Trusted' within a week.

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Oh yeah, when class starts (20 days) you can't drop it if an emergency happens, unless the city you're in is under attack. Happened before.

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Hmm. Better get this over quickly. That gate is right outside Luo Yang.
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Distract is basically 'Ignore Zone of Control' - it's a skill you don't use often but very useful when you need to do a series of movements past adjacent enemy columns. If I'm the translator, I'd call it 'Sprint' or something. Cause 'Distract/Sneak' doesn't sound right.

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Oh, you'll hear my awesomeness in a week or two. I'm heading off to battle. Farewell.
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So Ding Yuan is on the move. Time to lay down the smack on this guy.

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Your best generals have assembled. We were waiting for you.
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:bro: After Chang An, I fear nothing. Men! To Victory!
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Shi Difen! You've finally come out of hiding!
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Ha ha, who is this puppy who barks at the Majestic Divine Commander?
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Don't be so smug, scoundrel. I, Ding Yuan is not your opponent today. Today, my foster son will avenge Han!
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Guo Jia. Who is this son he's talking about?
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My lord, you only have to hear the chants from their troops to know. There is a saying... Among horses, Red Hare - Among men,...

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RK47

collides like two planets pulled by gravity
Patron
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Messages
28,396
Location
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Dead State Divinity: Original Sin
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zhong.jpg
Commander, there is nothing to fear. Huang Zhong is here.
rk.jpg
I'm not worried - I wonder... can we capture him?
guo.jpg
Let's not worry about that now, shall we?
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This map's pretty advantageous to the defenders. A single 3 tile wall with a gate at the center. I'm not sure how the defenders are supposed to lose this one if both sides are roughly equal.

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There's no stairs to get to the walls from the defender's side. Gotta spend the 20 AP to climb it manually.

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Putting myself on the gate is a good way to build up Tactical EXP by using Blunder and Fire strategy.
Alternatively, for serious 'gatekeeper' units Cavalry is the best with high attack power to decimate the gate-bashers.

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The side entry to the defenders camp is pretty unforgiving to the attackers. Two tiles narrow passage, littered with forests for ambushes. Oh, did you know that you can destroy forests by firing arrows at it?

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This is not a balanced map at all.
You can even narrow the passage further by setting one tile ablaze.

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Just make sure the wind direction favors you.

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AI coming into siege objectives without ram makes me cry. There's no way they can win.

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Ha-ha! I'm up in one try! Fuck Chang An's wall.

The traffic below makes excellent burning missile opportunity.

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Man Chong is up as well!

With the gate tile occupied, the attackers have no other avenue but to send an army to the sides.
Because if they try to pack too many troops at the entrance like this...

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It would lead to this.

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Blunder, an 8AP tactical move is exceedingly powerful. Fooling an enemy this way causes no casualty our own side.

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While the two battling units just destroys each other morale and numbers.

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Ju Shou, sensing the front gate approach is full, tries his luck in the ambush alley.

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C'mon, little girl. It's totally safe. The big bad wolf is away. Heh, heh, heh.
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Weak. Too weak.

Rain gave them a short relief.

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Woo, sun's up again. Wheee!
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With Xiahou Yuan's advance on the pass - their fate is pretty much sealed.

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No way they can break through.

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Where are you going?
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Let's move our reserve infantry and cavalry to finish the fight quickly. I do no wish to waste the grain.
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By the tenth day, the attackers have already lost 50% of their numbers.

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Guo Jia. I want to capture Lu Bu.
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A word of caution: I do not think anyone in our ranks can match Lu Bu in personal combat.
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Nonsense! He has youth! But I've got the experience! I'll drag him back to camp in chains!
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Looks like we have a volunteer. Guo Jia?
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I can bait him into a duel. Good luck, Huang Zhong.
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Hmph. You'll see!
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That guy's really ignoring everyone else! Everyone go after Ding Yuan!
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Lu Bu! Help me!
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Father! My honor is at stake!
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I'm got your honor right here, chink!
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An old man, past his prime?! How stupid!
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The clouds have gathered.
guo.jpg
And so it begins...
 

RK47

collides like two planets pulled by gravity
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Joined
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Messages
28,396
Location
Not Here
Dead State Divinity: Original Sin
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bu.jpg
Shi Difen! Your general's been defeated! I'll take Guo Jia's head next and then... it's YOUR turn!
rk.jpg
Maybe if you can scale that wall first...
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Lu Fengxian, are you a filial son?!
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What?!
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Oh no! Father!
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It's over for me. Fengxian! Fight on!!
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Enemy commander is captured!
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You bastard! Release my father now or else!
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Ding Yuan will never submit as long as they still hold cities across the land. Consider your next action carefully.
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What's wrong Yellow Turban?! Are you afraid that my foster son will hunt you for eternity?! Tremble before him, the God of War!
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Shhhhhh. I'm trying to think here. *stab*
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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I...have no regrets.
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Well that was prompt!
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Shi Difen, I swear I'll kill you the next time we meet.
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Lu Bu, I just did you a favor today.
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Commander, Huang Zhong is badly injured, but he'll survive. Also, what do you wish to do with this prisoner?
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Ju Shou? After what you've seen here, would you want to miss this opportunity?
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What a shame. Give him a proper burial.
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General Huang, are you alright?
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Emma, I'm coming Emma....Hnnnnnghhhrkk.
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He'll live. But first, explain yourself.
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Guo Jia, a man like Lu Bu is destined to be used by others. And when Lu Bu feels under-appreciated, he will switch allegiance almost immediately.
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I don't doubt his nature, but if it was a simple matter of constant bribes, I'm sure we can manage.
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Guo Jia, I want to give him an honorable death.
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Eh?
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'An hero' like him deserved a better fate than being the pawn of tyrants and swayed by maidens. He will die trying to avenge his foster-father's death and the world will remember his filial piety instead of cruelty.
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My lord, you are too kind.
rk.jpg
For killing a man's father? Ha! Let's go.
 
Last edited:

RK47

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Messages
28,396
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Dead State Divinity: Original Sin
01.jpg

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rk.jpg
As expected. Now there's no way Lu Bu would serve under me.
guo.jpg
I assume you have a follow-up assault planned out?
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Of course.
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Let's hear it.
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Lu Bu Fengxian is a lonely dragon, his command is fierce, and his martial skills are unequaled. However!
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He lacks cunning and strategists under him. With only five officers under him, there's no way he can fight as freely as before.
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Fight 'freely'?
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The burden of command is a heavy one. You've seen how bad it could get in Chang An if I charged forth on my own. Should I fall, everything is over.
guo.jpg
I see: Lu Bu will be confined within his own walls, fearing total defeat should he be captured.
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That's not all. Foster son or not, everyone distrusts a new boss. Especially with how he abandoned everything for that duel.
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Divide and conquer.
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Yes.
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Excellent. Let's go. *makes a drawing of a bow motion*
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Ready to kill a legend, gentlemen?
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We're ready, Commander.
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Hahah... Lu Bu's remaining two cities can't even reinforce each other. You've planned everything.
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To hell with him.
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So you've come at last! I'll present your head in front of my foster father's grave.
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Such heroic nonsense. Your villain is here! Don't disappoint me.
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Look at his officers... such simpletons!
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Today we shall avenge Commander Ding Yuan!
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Ah yes, the man you abandoned outside Luo Yang. I shall avenge him for your incompetence!
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Fengxian, it's time to teach you the harsh reality of battles!
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Huh?!
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Release the arrows!
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CAO BAOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU SHIT-SLURPER! TRAITOR! I WILL RAM MY HALBERD UP YOUR RECTUM!
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Your recklessness will kill us all Lu Bu! Just like it did to Commander Ding!
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Silence! Everyone! I shan't abandon my post ever again! I will remain within the wall and deal with this traitor personally! All of you! CHARGE FORTH!
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How heroic. Ambush team, go.
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HA! Too easy!
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Arrows release! Kill them to the last man! Leave none alive!
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CAO BAOOOO!
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Master Shi Difen! Help me!!
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No rush, Cao Bao. Let him vent a bit.
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Too late.
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Pathetic. They're both finished, Fengxian! Anything else you wanna throw at us?!
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So much for not abandoning your post.
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His sub-units are as dumb as him. Do it again, Mister Sima.
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This is such a welcome disappointment.
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You certainly have a way of defusing climaxes.
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What can I say? Trolling is fun.
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WUuuuuARGHHHHHH! I'll find you in this fog! COWARDS!
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He's riding a boat in his own moat. Someone put him out of his misery.
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I'll get you once the fog clears!
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Fifty thousand routed in barely a week, so much for a legendary showdown.
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You can always make it sound more unfair in the history books. Just double our numbers, make their death sound heroic.
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guo.jpg
I'll try.
 

RK47

collides like two planets pulled by gravity
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Messages
28,396
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Dead State Divinity: Original Sin
Hmm. Can Diao Chan be... captured?

That would be NTR. My favorite genre.

01.jpg



Memoirs of Guo Jia Year Year 199
Lu Bu's last stand is crumbling. Thousands of his men die every day, yet his courage never wavered.

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The traitor, Cao Bao and his followers were repeatedly butchered at the walls.

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Heavens have no place for traitors. Such sorrow, such woe! A master's pain of betrayal.

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The wicked rams the gates as the righteous held their ground.

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Odds, insurmountable. Courage, unsurpassed.

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Beneath the cover of the fogs, the remaining traitors cower into the forests.

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O, valiant general, such sorrow!

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Mockery clouds your judgment.

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Heavens hear not your pleas.

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In rage, your halberd struck true.

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Lord and followers, heart burning as one.

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That was fucking unscripted anyway, I goofed cause I wanted more firepower on the city gate.
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:updatedmytxt:
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Continue.

Alas, once more the rams assembled at the final gate.

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Truly, a valorous last stand!

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OK, that's enough bumbling around now.
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Who would've thought blocking the path of enraged soldiers would backfire, eh?
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Now you're just trolling, Guo Jia.

Provoked units would stop at nothing to get to its target - if there is no clear path, it will just hit the closest target till its dead or the provocation wears off. Obviously, I didn't prepare. Lessons learned.

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Cao Bao's men of 920 is just gonna spam ambush and stop movements when possible. It's not worth losing a whole unit since it'll cost a lot more to establish a new unit.

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Sima Fu has taken a lot of damage as well due to my blunders, best to just employ fire tactics.

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Guo Jia, Lu Bu's leading the unit within the gate, lure him out!
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Hi, Lu Bu, congratulations on being an hero.
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INSOLENCE! Stop with your smug face! I WILL KILL YOU!
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That's what you've said all day long. But Fengxian, what have you really accomplished?
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I... I....No! Stop talking!
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Firstly, you've abandoned your post again, Fengxian.
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Arrows, release!
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Damn it. I was... I was!! First.. I was tricked!
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:rage:
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MEN! IT'S A TRAP! Retreat! Retreat into the gates!
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Foolish to the very end.
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26b.jpg
 
Last edited:

RK47

collides like two planets pulled by gravity
Patron
Joined
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Messages
28,396
Location
Not Here
Dead State Divinity: Original Sin
01.jpg


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Yuan Shu? He Jin's remnants?
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I'm surprised they were even allied.
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Protect Lu Bu!
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We've broken through the gates, the enemy outnumber us two to one. Please be careful.
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Your concern is noted.
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Lu Bu? How does it feel to have allies to count on?!
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I'll feel a lot better once I've killed you!
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Guo Jia, if I wipe out Yuan Shu's reinforcements, that would mean Shang Dang would have no garrison replacements, correct?
guo.jpg
That is... correct. They've taken a big risk to save this tiger.
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So...the Tiger is here, so is the Snake, and the Jackal.
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Quit spouting nonsense and be destroyed!
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This is nothing compared to Chang An! BURN AND ADVANCE!
chong.jpg
Start the blaze!
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03.jpg
 
Last edited:

RK47

collides like two planets pulled by gravity
Patron
Joined
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Messages
28,396
Location
Not Here
Dead State Divinity: Original Sin
00.jpg


04.jpg

rk.jpg
Looks like the provoked ones are taking the longer route.
guo.jpg
Can't be helped. The size of their reinforcements effectively blocked each other's path.
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rk.jpg
And Lu Bu's close proximity with his allies meant we can no longer lure him out for an easy kill.
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Probably the perfect time to employ the flame strategy.
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Again with the flames and winds on their side! Cao Cao, could they actually control the weather?! I thought Zhang Jiao is dead.
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Lord Yuan, who knows what Heavens have in design for us?
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Man Chong, he'll try to advance to avoid the flames. Prepare the ambush.
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At last! It rained! At least the fire would stop!
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That's what you think!
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...so it's true.
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Cao Cao, I'm beginning to regret coming here.
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Restart the flames - blaze a path to victory!
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You heard our Commander! Release flaming missiles!
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shu.jpg
Cavalry General! Advance!
cao.jpg
Zhang He! Beware of ambush!
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Too late! You're going down!
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Archers at the back! Continue to rain death and support those in the front! The wall of flames will protect you!
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CHARGE!
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Fire! Keep firing till the path to the council hall is cleared!
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Can't advance. Can't put out the fire coming at us. It's almost as if the Flame is his own personal army.
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Troops! Extinguish the flames as needed and advance! They're in no position to defend anything!
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My Lord, I am reminded of Hu Lao Gates.
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I am sorry, comrades. To have dragged all of you here.
rk.jpg
It's a pity, gentlemen. But you simply didn't pray hard enough.
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Last edited:

RK47

collides like two planets pulled by gravity
Patron
Joined
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Messages
28,396
Location
Not Here
Dead State Divinity: Original Sin
00.jpg

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guo.jpg
The flame's getting too close, Commander.
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I'll handle it.
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rk.jpg
Extinguish the flame and advance!
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Just a bit more to the council hall!
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Their ram's getting closer. Is there nothing we can do?
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Defeat is inevitable. I'm sorry.
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Why do you look displeased, my lord?
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Once again my enemies were broken before the battle even ended. Where is the satisfaction, Guo Jia? Never again shall my emotions reach the peaks of Chang An...
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Trust me, were the situation is reversed, Lu Fengxian would not feel the same way.
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Lu Fengxian would not have used flames to defeat me.
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Milord, what would you do if you were Lu Bu?
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Before this? I'd go into exile and flee to Sun Jian, one who shared a grudge with the murderer of my father and build from there. Surrounded by talents, and armed with the deadliest halberd in the land, I will rip out this country's heart and stab it dead. *clenches fist*
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Why so bitter?
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Guo Jia, I'd rather fuck China than let China fuck me. The ram's ready. Deploy!
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This battle is lost, Lord Yuan and I'm afraid... Shang Dang is next.
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Let us leave. Good luck Sir Lu. We must prepare for our own defense.
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...
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It is over, Commander. All of their officers have been rounded up, none escaped the blockade.
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Even Lu Bu?
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Yes.
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Let's start with his subordinates.
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Behead him.
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Indeed, you're no use of me. Kill him, chop him up and feed the flesh to the pigs.
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We could use a janitor...
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I wasn't serious, retard. Take him away!
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What about you?
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Good. Good. Is that all?
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Yes. Shall I bring him in?
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Yes, I believe it's time.
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*Spits* Coward. First you used my own men against me. Then you tricked me. And when pushed to a corner, you burned the whole city! Despicable scum!
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Fengxian, I'm very disappointed to hear that coming from the God of War.
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Then let me disappoint you further. Just untie me now and I'll show you how, scum!
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I must thank you for displaying that fine duel a few weeks back. God of War was truly in flight back then.
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Fuck! Spare me your sarcastic mockery, shitslurper! If you truly respect me as a warrior then treat me as one! Loosen the bindings!
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True, I do owe you a favor for luring Yuan Shu from Shang Dang. With his forces decimated, the siege of Shang Dang is a foregone conclusion.
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Wh-why you- SHUT UP ! SHUT UP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR A SINGLE WORD FROM YOUR MOUTH! KILL ME OR SUFFER MY INSULTS!
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My lord, let me end this beast.
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No. He deserves better.
 
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RK47

collides like two planets pulled by gravity
Patron
Joined
Feb 23, 2006
Messages
28,396
Location
Not Here
Dead State Divinity: Original Sin
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That is of no consequence.
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Hm. Shall we intervene?
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I would advise against doing so before we return to Luo Yang.
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Why?
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Perhaps if the men can be made to eat grass, that would be possible.
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I guess we should ignore it then.
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Guo Jia, I want you to get the army ready for Shang Dang, I'm going to see General Huang.
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Very well.
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Huang Zhong, are you well?
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I feel like shit, Steve. But I think I'm getting better. Is Lu Bu dealt with?
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He's nothing more than history now. Are you well enough for Shang Dang?
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Shang Dang, Yuan Shu's final stronghold?!
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Yes.
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Of course! I can't wait to kick butt! Give a week more and I'll be ready!
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Don't push yourself too hard, old man. I'll see you next week.
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You can count on it.
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Looks like I was worried over nothing.
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Our territories are too strong to be threatened by minor lords now. Once Shang Dang is dealt with, there's virtually no strong rival forces left in this area to challenge us.
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What about Liu Bei, Gongsun Zan and others?
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Like I said, minor lords. They barely held 2-3 cities. Even their combined might number less than our entire kingdom.
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Such an anti-climax. Perhaps I should revolt.
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My lord, you should not make terrible jokes.
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Who knows, Guo Jia? Boredom can make anything happen. I'll go improve my tactical skills now, finish restoring our troop strength and we'll march to Shang Dang.
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Very well, my lord.
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Troops are ready.
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I too, am ready for battle, Commander.
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Brothers, today will be the last day of the Imperial Court. He Jin's remnants will be ground to dust and scattered to the winds. I have made a special arrangements for the troops to bolster morale for the final push. I shall reveal the surprise upon arrival at the battleground.
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