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Completed Let's Play Warhammer: Shadow of the Horned Rat
- Thread starter Ivar the Boner
- Start date
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
That's a lot of gold. Are you saving in order to buy a steam tank or something like that ?
Can wizards hurt themselves by miscasting in this game (as in WFB) ?
I'm saving gold because I don't trust this game. And wizards are fine if they miscast. Mortars can destroy themselves if they misfire though...
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
MISSION NINE: AGAINST THE GRAIN (Briefing and Battle)
After beating the shit out of some unfortunate peasant, Jarema goes back to camp and is approached by Deitrich.
Commander, we are too late! The Orcs have crossed the bridge and are bringing ruin on the western bank. My scouts report they are moving on to the milling town six miles south east of Vanberg. We should move quickly to catch them before they inflict too much damage.
This time Wołodyjowski stays home.
This is were we start.
This is where village is. We are supposed to save it. But we won't charge blindly into danger just because some bloody peasants scream for help.
We are going to stand here and wait for orcs to come at us. Even if costs village some buildings.
Enemy sighted. Some orcs are getting ready to rape few villagers. Well. have fun orcs.
Arrer Boyz, bane of Jarema fucking existance.
Big'Uns regiment is approaching on our flank.
Big'Uns in their full 256 colours glory.
Orcs got bored of smashing houses and some of them are coming our way.
Preparing Jarema and Carlsson's Guard to meet the Big'Uns.
Pew pewing Big'Uns with fireball.
Pew pewing them again.
Ordering 2nd Carlsson Guard to charge Big'Uns. Apparently they are some kind of penal regiment who is not into this kind of shit, as you will soon find out.
Setting ground for tasteful butt-rape.
Show them what we're made of
Unforunately 2nd Carlsson Guard is made of different things than Jarema's trusted Hussars and they flee...
Meanwhile, Allor and Fletcher are trying to stop orcs coming from the village...
By any means possible.
Jarema breaks the Big'Uns. I bet this makes 2nd Carlsson Guard feel really bad about themselfs...
... Not really.
Jarema join up with the rest.
Not a moment too soon. More orcs coming.
Again we use strategy of holding the line with cavalry and flanking with infantry which confuses the shit out of enemy.
Allor and Fletcher continue their epic struggle to stop orcish flood.
Now, this one I called "Onufry Zagłoba after a night in the Pub".
1st Carlsson Guard tries to make us forget shameful performance of their comrades by reouting orcs without any assistance.
All enemy infantryare belong to us is dead. Now we must deal with Arrer Boyz. We send Jarema first since he has Shield of Ptolos.
On his way to the village Jarema meets 2nd Carlsson Guard...
Engaging enemy archers in hand-to-hand combat. What could possibly go wrong?
Jarema looses men left and right to enemy archers. Captain Bernard quickly rushes to help.
One more unit left. We are not wasting any time and we charge them right away.
Shit is over, fucking finally!
Note to self. Don't blindly charge orc range units. They are still orcs and can kick your fucking butt in melee.
2 buildings got destroyed. Well, they will have to rebuild them. At least no villagers died, right?
CORPSES EVERYWHERE! But mostly Carlsson Guard corpses so no bigggie
We actually LOST money doing this mission. But we would lost money even if not for destroyed buildings. Well at least our men got some experience.
Another battle done and crows are now feeding on corpses of fallen enemies. Now matter how many battles we win or loose, crows always win...
What the fuck are you talking about Jarema?
Next episode, we shall find out who those work-seeking men are!
Till the next time!
After beating the shit out of some unfortunate peasant, Jarema goes back to camp and is approached by Deitrich.
Commander, we are too late! The Orcs have crossed the bridge and are bringing ruin on the western bank. My scouts report they are moving on to the milling town six miles south east of Vanberg. We should move quickly to catch them before they inflict too much damage.
This time Wołodyjowski stays home.
This is were we start.
This is where village is. We are supposed to save it. But we won't charge blindly into danger just because some bloody peasants scream for help.
We are going to stand here and wait for orcs to come at us. Even if costs village some buildings.
Enemy sighted. Some orcs are getting ready to rape few villagers. Well. have fun orcs.
Arrer Boyz, bane of Jarema fucking existance.
Big'Uns regiment is approaching on our flank.
Big'Uns in their full 256 colours glory.
Orcs got bored of smashing houses and some of them are coming our way.
Preparing Jarema and Carlsson's Guard to meet the Big'Uns.
Pew pewing Big'Uns with fireball.
Pew pewing them again.
Ordering 2nd Carlsson Guard to charge Big'Uns. Apparently they are some kind of penal regiment who is not into this kind of shit, as you will soon find out.
Setting ground for tasteful butt-rape.
Show them what we're made of
Unforunately 2nd Carlsson Guard is made of different things than Jarema's trusted Hussars and they flee...
Meanwhile, Allor and Fletcher are trying to stop orcs coming from the village...
By any means possible.
Jarema breaks the Big'Uns. I bet this makes 2nd Carlsson Guard feel really bad about themselfs...
... Not really.
Jarema join up with the rest.
Not a moment too soon. More orcs coming.
Again we use strategy of holding the line with cavalry and flanking with infantry which confuses the shit out of enemy.
Allor and Fletcher continue their epic struggle to stop orcish flood.
Now, this one I called "Onufry Zagłoba after a night in the Pub".
1st Carlsson Guard tries to make us forget shameful performance of their comrades by reouting orcs without any assistance.
All enemy infantry
On his way to the village Jarema meets 2nd Carlsson Guard...
Engaging enemy archers in hand-to-hand combat. What could possibly go wrong?
Jarema looses men left and right to enemy archers. Captain Bernard quickly rushes to help.
One more unit left. We are not wasting any time and we charge them right away.
Shit is over, fucking finally!
Note to self. Don't blindly charge orc range units. They are still orcs and can kick your fucking butt in melee.
2 buildings got destroyed. Well, they will have to rebuild them. At least no villagers died, right?
CORPSES EVERYWHERE! But mostly Carlsson Guard corpses so no bigggie
We actually LOST money doing this mission. But we would lost money even if not for destroyed buildings. Well at least our men got some experience.
Another battle done and crows are now feeding on corpses of fallen enemies. Now matter how many battles we win or loose, crows always win...
What the fuck are you talking about Jarema?
Next episode, we shall find out who those work-seeking men are!
Till the next time!
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
MISSION TEN: BRIDGE OVER THE RIVER WEISS (Briefing)
Eric Ragnar, it doesn't get any more VIKING than that!. Well, maybe Varg Bjornson or Sven Blood-Axe. But Eric Ragnar will do.
I don't have anything interesting to say about mortars. Oh, I once described enemy AI strategy in Close Combat games as "Mortar Kombat" and I thought it was witty as hell. But nobody laughed.
An Orc raiding party has destroyed the farm to the south-west and are heading back to the bridge with their spoils. We must intercept them before they can cross the bridge and regroup with their main force. We will randezvous two miles south-west with reinforcements from Dortmere. When the west bank is clear of greenskins we must take and hold the bridge. From there we can consider an assault on their camp in the hills of the east.
As you can see cavalry is badly beaten up. And they all are wounded so I can't replace them. And I also can't leave them, you have to take cavalry in every mission. I will try not to use them so wounded guys will have a chance to heal up.
We take both mortars. We won't take mr Viking Vikingson even if he's name is awesome (even though he kinda sucked in Dark Omen) because he costs too much.
Well, briefing was short and this update will be poor as hell so I considered drawing you a horse but... nah.
Eric Ragnar, it doesn't get any more VIKING than that!. Well, maybe Varg Bjornson or Sven Blood-Axe. But Eric Ragnar will do.
I don't have anything interesting to say about mortars. Oh, I once described enemy AI strategy in Close Combat games as "Mortar Kombat" and I thought it was witty as hell. But nobody laughed.
An Orc raiding party has destroyed the farm to the south-west and are heading back to the bridge with their spoils. We must intercept them before they can cross the bridge and regroup with their main force. We will randezvous two miles south-west with reinforcements from Dortmere. When the west bank is clear of greenskins we must take and hold the bridge. From there we can consider an assault on their camp in the hills of the east.
As you can see cavalry is badly beaten up. And they all are wounded so I can't replace them. And I also can't leave them, you have to take cavalry in every mission. I will try not to use them so wounded guys will have a chance to heal up.
We take both mortars. We won't take mr Viking Vikingson even if he's name is awesome (even though he kinda sucked in Dark Omen) because he costs too much.
Well, briefing was short and this update will be poor as hell so I considered drawing you a horse but... nah.
Don't you mean
...
neigh?
...
neigh?
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
Don't you mean
...
neigh?
I actually had to google what "neigh" means heh.
And one thing bothers me. I thought that Dark Omen system of paying your troops was ridiculous. You didn't payed anything to field your troops. You only payed to replace dead soldiers. So, you gave a dude 20 crowns (cost of replacing a Flagellant) and he was bounded to serve you for a life time? what the hell. But SotHR system is also quite strange. So for example, Black Avangers are following us for fucking months in hope that, maybe once, I will decide to field them (and pay them)? Don't they have fucking families or something? and what do they eat?... oh the mysteries.
This is the best LP on the 'dex in recent time.
To be honest, I welcomed Dark Omen's payment system with open arms. Was it sorta dumbed down? Yeah. But SotHR's pay-to-field, pay-to-refill was simply ludicrous in how dastardly easy it was to effectively lose a shitton of gold out of each victory.
To be honest, I welcomed Dark Omen's payment system with open arms. Was it sorta dumbed down? Yeah. But SotHR's pay-to-field, pay-to-refill was simply ludicrous in how dastardly easy it was to effectively lose a shitton of gold out of each victory.
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
That's true, I also prefer Dark Omen system payment system* (not only that to be honest). But I just realized that those poor Black Avengers wont get paid like, ever. And they probably also won't kill any skavens, and killing skavens is sole reason for their existence.
*
I repeat myself when under stress, I repeat myself when under stress...
Wicked man, totally fucking awesome.
Kashmir Slippers
Magister
"Against the Grain"? More like "Against the Potato" M I rite? : x
You know, because everyone is Polish in this LP?
Okay. I'll shut up.
You know, because everyone is Polish in this LP?
Okay. I'll shut up.
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
MISSION TEN: BRIDGE OVER THE RIVER WEISS (Battle)
clip-clop
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6XlyZ5mw0A
A czyjeż to imię rozlega się sławą,
Kto walczy za Imperium ze Skavenami krwawo?
To konnica polska, sławne Grudgebringery!!
Zdobywają cudem wąwóz Somosierry!
I dig this part...
Już Jaremy jazda cofa się w nieładzie,
Pod śmiertelnym ogniem wał trupów się kładzie!
A wtem nasz komander na wojaków skinął -
Skoczył Eric Ragnar, w czwórki jazdę zwinął.
Ok, that's...enough.
Na wiarusów czele Jarema się rzucił!
Wziął pierwszą baterię, ale już nie wrócił!!
SHUT THE FUCK UP URIEH HUUP!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7uyKYeGPdE
Alternative song for non-polish speakers...
clip-clop clip-clop...
STOP! there they are! Fletcher, target sickly and wounded, we don't want to get attention of healthy ones... Prepare mortars! we are in good defensive position to use our artillery, Urieh Huup, play something inspiring for our mortars!
Już biorą armaaaty!
już tną kanonieeryyy!
Ok, nevermind!
We start here. South of us we can see Orcs carrying epic loot from previous raids.
We are supposed to stop orcs from crossing the bridge. Well, it may happen bo it also may not happen. This is old-school C&C game so if we fail we still can continue campaign and live with consequences of our actions.
This is how we deploy our left flank.
And our right flank. As you can see we don't have center because we are awesome like that. Well, actually truth is, center is for armies that have infantry worth their salt. Carlsson Guard doesn't count as such.
Battle begins. We immidiately order mortar to shoot orcs.
Dis da'bird!
No, dis da'gyro copter!
Acculy is cannoball.
Fuck me'lifeeee...
While we were watching Bi'Uns scream in agony, Carlsson Guard got surprised by goblin wolf riders. And Carlsson Finest actually were able to win. Wolf riders are fleeing!
Fletcher tries to shoot Arrer Boyz, because Jarema is reluctant to engage them in melee after his previous experiences. Unfortunately fletcher is unable to do much damage because of the trees.
Meanwhile, rest of the Orc horde is getting through the bridge safely because we failed to stop them.
We have no choice but to charge Arrer Boyz with cavalry. Fletcher was unable to get clear line of fire because of the trees and mortars were unable to fire at them at all, for some reason.
Because previous hand-to-hand engagement with Arrer Boyz went so well we send Captain Bernard to assist Jarema.
Carlsson Guard rushes to help but Jarema was able to rout Arrer Boyz before they get piece of action.
Goblin riders regroup and charge what remains of 2nd Carlsson Guard! BUT, FEAR NOT! Jarema got a plan!
Commander, do something or we are done for!
Hold on! help is coming!
Oh thank you commander!
Mortars! FIRE!
WHAT?!
JAREEEMA!! YOU KNOOOW WHAT YOUUU AREEEE...
:planetarygovernorbitchslap: "Commander" Jarema!
Jarema charges wolf riders.
Wolf riders flee, and battle is won... or is it?
BULLSHIT! I let couple of orc regiments escape but I did not rout from the battle!
I blame curse of the 2nd Carlsson Guard...
ALL MY JEW GOLD! WAAASTED! Carlsson didn't pay us shit for last 2 missions. You know what? fuck you Sven, this whole campaign went downhill since I rescued your lazy fucking ass. WE ARE GOING TO ZHUFBAR!
clip-clop
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6XlyZ5mw0A
A czyjeż to imię rozlega się sławą,
Kto walczy za Imperium ze Skavenami krwawo?
To konnica polska, sławne Grudgebringery!!
Zdobywają cudem wąwóz Somosierry!
I dig this part...
Już Jaremy jazda cofa się w nieładzie,
Pod śmiertelnym ogniem wał trupów się kładzie!
A wtem nasz komander na wojaków skinął -
Skoczył Eric Ragnar, w czwórki jazdę zwinął.
Ok, that's...enough.
Na wiarusów czele Jarema się rzucił!
Wziął pierwszą baterię, ale już nie wrócił!!
SHUT THE FUCK UP URIEH HUUP!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7uyKYeGPdE
Alternative song for non-polish speakers...
clip-clop clip-clop...
STOP! there they are! Fletcher, target sickly and wounded, we don't want to get attention of healthy ones... Prepare mortars! we are in good defensive position to use our artillery, Urieh Huup, play something inspiring for our mortars!
Już biorą armaaaty!
już tną kanonieeryyy!
Ok, nevermind!
We start here. South of us we can see Orcs carrying epic loot from previous raids.
We are supposed to stop orcs from crossing the bridge. Well, it may happen bo it also may not happen. This is old-school C&C game so if we fail we still can continue campaign and live with consequences of our actions.
This is how we deploy our left flank.
And our right flank. As you can see we don't have center because we are awesome like that. Well, actually truth is, center is for armies that have infantry worth their salt. Carlsson Guard doesn't count as such.
Battle begins. We immidiately order mortar to shoot orcs.
Dis da'bird!
No, dis da'gyro copter!
Acculy is cannoball.
Fuck me'lifeeee...
While we were watching Bi'Uns scream in agony, Carlsson Guard got surprised by goblin wolf riders. And Carlsson Finest actually were able to win. Wolf riders are fleeing!
Fletcher tries to shoot Arrer Boyz, because Jarema is reluctant to engage them in melee after his previous experiences. Unfortunately fletcher is unable to do much damage because of the trees.
Meanwhile, rest of the Orc horde is getting through the bridge safely because we failed to stop them.
We have no choice but to charge Arrer Boyz with cavalry. Fletcher was unable to get clear line of fire because of the trees and mortars were unable to fire at them at all, for some reason.
Because previous hand-to-hand engagement with Arrer Boyz went so well we send Captain Bernard to assist Jarema.
Carlsson Guard rushes to help but Jarema was able to rout Arrer Boyz before they get piece of action.
Goblin riders regroup and charge what remains of 2nd Carlsson Guard! BUT, FEAR NOT! Jarema got a plan!
Commander, do something or we are done for!
Hold on! help is coming!
Oh thank you commander!
Mortars! FIRE!
WHAT?!
JAREEEMA!! YOU KNOOOW WHAT YOUUU AREEEE...
:planetarygovernorbitchslap: "Commander" Jarema!
Jarema charges wolf riders.
Wolf riders flee, and battle is won... or is it?
BULLSHIT! I let couple of orc regiments escape but I did not rout from the battle!
I blame curse of the 2nd Carlsson Guard...
ALL MY JEW GOLD! WAAASTED! Carlsson didn't pay us shit for last 2 missions. You know what? fuck you Sven, this whole campaign went downhill since I rescued your lazy fucking ass. WE ARE GOING TO ZHUFBAR!
Weak.
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
Well I decided to keep the results. I didn't upload missions when I really got my ass kicked so I will keep this one. It's actually strange because I always did this mission like that, letting some orcs escape and I never got a "FAILURE! CUS U RUN" screen. it always said that mission was successful but too many orcs escaped so I will get less money. But this time game decided to fuck me over so now it's second mission in a row for which I did not got paid (third if you count HONOUR one). Well, nevermind. We still have SOME gold, so it's no end of the world... right?
---------------------
MISSION 11: MARCH TO ZHUFBAR (Briefing)
Fun Fact: In this episode we are butt-hurt over getting jewed-out by Carlsson.
slash-slash, stab-stab...
Jar... Commander Jarema! this is pointless, Orc have crossed the bridge! we must fall back to Wissenheim and ask Carlsson for further orders!
stab-stab...
Jarema Commander guy! Bernard be right, no point continue fight. Regroup, regroup we must!
Yeah, you are right. MEN! regroup!
Finally! now let's go back to Wissnheim for further orders...
Ni idziem do Wizenhajmu, ba'tku...
Who is this?! and what did he said?
Captain Bernard, meet my lobotomized ukrainian bodyguard, Bohun.
Hasta-la-vista...Bat'ku
Bury his corpse quickly and let's get back to the camp...
Jarema! what happend here? The Orcs have crossed the River Weiss. We must follow them!
... Where is Captain Bernard?
In secret places... doing secret stuff.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Greetings again, Commander! I come on behalf of the King of Karaz a Karak, Thorgrim Grudgebearer, to find strong warriors to battle beside us at the siefe of Zhufbar. You fight with a determination rare in Humans. I am prepared to pay you well to accompany me.
No! We are to leave for the Loren forest with haste. I have made my bond with the Commander. Find you own mercenaries, Dwarf!
Holy shit Ceridan! Didn't know you are commander of Grudgebringers now!
I can only respect your loyalty to Lord Carlsson. You will find us recruiting at Karak Hirn when you have completed your contract.
We didn't got paid. Our contract with Carlsson is null and void. We march to Zhufbar!
Jarema! you can't do that! we still can drive the orcs from Border Princes!
Silence Carlsson! You should have kept your side of a bargain... and you are border prince, and they are basically russkies of this setting.
Oh yeah? who are YOU then?
I'm polish!
Then what are you doing in Warhammer world?
Mind your own business!
In the next episode...we march to Zhufbar, obviously.
---------------------
MISSION 11: MARCH TO ZHUFBAR (Briefing)
Fun Fact: In this episode we are butt-hurt over getting jewed-out by Carlsson.
slash-slash, stab-stab...
Jar... Commander Jarema! this is pointless, Orc have crossed the bridge! we must fall back to Wissenheim and ask Carlsson for further orders!
stab-stab...
Jarema Commander guy! Bernard be right, no point continue fight. Regroup, regroup we must!
Yeah, you are right. MEN! regroup!
Finally! now let's go back to Wissnheim for further orders...
Ni idziem do Wizenhajmu, ba'tku...
Who is this?! and what did he said?
Captain Bernard, meet my lobotomized ukrainian bodyguard, Bohun.
Hasta-la-vista...Bat'ku
Bury his corpse quickly and let's get back to the camp...
Jarema! what happend here? The Orcs have crossed the River Weiss. We must follow them!
... Where is Captain Bernard?
In secret places... doing secret stuff.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Greetings again, Commander! I come on behalf of the King of Karaz a Karak, Thorgrim Grudgebearer, to find strong warriors to battle beside us at the siefe of Zhufbar. You fight with a determination rare in Humans. I am prepared to pay you well to accompany me.
No! We are to leave for the Loren forest with haste. I have made my bond with the Commander. Find you own mercenaries, Dwarf!
Holy shit Ceridan! Didn't know you are commander of Grudgebringers now!
I can only respect your loyalty to Lord Carlsson. You will find us recruiting at Karak Hirn when you have completed your contract.
We didn't got paid. Our contract with Carlsson is null and void. We march to Zhufbar!
Jarema! you can't do that! we still can drive the orcs from Border Princes!
Silence Carlsson! You should have kept your side of a bargain... and you are border prince, and they are basically russkies of this setting.
Oh yeah? who are YOU then?
I'm polish!
Then what are you doing in Warhammer world?
Mind your own business!
In the next episode...we march to Zhufbar, obviously.
... Where is Captain Bernard?
In secret places... doing secret stuff.
[nitpicking]Border Princes are actually Balkans turned up to eleven. Russkies are in Kislev. But have a lot of Polish culture. Also hussars. Kinda like what would have been had 1610 went our way, I think.[/nitpicking]
Also, MOAR.
Also, MOAR.
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
MISSION 11: MARCH TO ZHUFBAR (Ambush)
Fun Fact: in this episode we... HOLY MOTHER OF GOD GOBLIN SHAMAN FLYING ON SOME GREEN SHIT!
Troops update:
7 out of 12. And we won't get any reinforcements until we reach Zhufbar.
Infantry is at full strength, but that's mostly because they were on vacations for couple of missions.
11/12. Not bad.
Every guide for SotHR says that it is essential to max out experience for Allor. Since max experience is 3000 and after all those mission Allor got 230 you can clearly see how well this campaign is going... I simply cannot into Amber Wizard. But I will not give up. Not until we reach a point where we can't afford to field any troops.
2nd mortar crew got some experience last mission. Well that's it, no point in showing other regiments since they didn't change at all.
I forgot to take screenshot of our troop choice so:
Cavalry
Grudgebringers Infantry
Crossbows
Allor
Both Mortars
We take mortars with us even though they are useless in ambush situation. We do this because after ambush we will get straight into regular mission in which mortars are able to deploy properly.
----------------------
MEANWHILE IN PLOT COUNTRY:
Isn't it "WAAAAGH!" not "WAAAARGH!"?
----------------------
----------------------
MEANWHILE IN DIFFERENT PLOT COUNTRY:
Hey! it's Karl Franz! I loved his soothing voice in Dark Omen.
I have order to travel to our keep in Black Fire Pass to warn of the increased Orc activity in the mountains. From there we will use the pass to cross the mountains. Our combined might will ward of any Orc attack.
WARNING: This mission was going okey'ish but then suddenly it went all "Shadow of the Horned Rat" on my ass. It actually went so horribly bad that I decided to keep the results. I can't blame random battle system because most of the time I was actually pretty lucky, but I did some HORRIBLE mistakes. I'm pretty sure that I will be able to do next mission with what is left of Grudgebringers by now. But if not, I have backup saves so don't worry. Or actually rejoice because if you decide that I failed to prove that I'm not a steaming pile of shit at Let's Playing, this campaign will meet a dead end soon If I will fail next mission and not use my backup saves.
But anyway:
This is were we are. We can't use our mortars because it's an ambush. To make things even better, enemy has Rock Lobbers (orc's mortars) and they CAN use them.
Also they have airborne goblin shaman.
Enemy artillery stars pounding us. This is fucking Battle of the Bulge and Market Garden combined if you take FallschrimShaman into account. But the sides are all mixed up.
We order Fletcher to shoot at approaching orcs. Allor casts Hunting Spear at shaman and one infantry man dies because he got hit with fragments of rock from rock lobber. It must have hit quite far if just one dude died.
We cast another hunting spear. Just in case.
But they don't hit shaman fast enough and he was able to scare Allor.
I hyc o ziemie shaman kurwa bęc. Hunting Spears finally were able to kill shaman and he falls to the ground with satysfying "BOOM!".
We reoraganise our infantry into defensive line. Well it's a sort of a line... a little bit.
Meanwhile we send Jarema around the orcs to kill those fucking rock lobbers.
Orcs are coming. And I realised that my "defensive line" will be as effective as upside-down backward Maginote Line.
Orcs are getting near. Fletcher starts to have some second thoughts and is getting ready to get the fuck out from there. Also Jarema is somwhere doing something, I forgot about him because I was too busy crying like a little bitch.
Proper battle started. There is message that Cav had ben hit but they are fine thanks to Ptolos Shield.
You see? they are fine and getting ready to charge rock lobbers. They are also being followed by BIg'Uns and that's probably what saved infantry.
Rule of thumb is that if you fight Orcs in hand-to-hand combat, you loose. But Dwarves are ignorant fucks and they never heard of it so they beat the living shit out of orcs.
Allor tries to pick off some Arrer Boyz with Hunting Lance and generally make their life miserable.
Jarema is finished with rock lobbers so I send him around the Big'Uns to deal with Arrer Boyz. Also melee in the south is pretty much finished and it would went really good if few crossbowmen didn't get caught in it and died.
Dorfs killing remaining orcs.
Cav and infantry prepares to sandwich Arrer Boyz. This is where game went all SotHR on my ass. Arrer Boyz were charged from front AND the back. Charge from the back almost always means rout. It routes monster it even routes units who are immune to fear for pete's sake! But what Arrer boyz did?
Well, they stand and fight. And kill shitton of my dudes. I'm not bitching about this, mainly because I were really lucky at fighting orcs in melee in the south. All I'm saying that there was nothing that could be done about this. Trying to kill them with crossbows would mean losses for both sides. Casting Hunting spear or trying to curse them could get Allor killed. So I thought that encirclement will work best, but it didn't. Woe is me.
Arrer boyz are finally dead and we prepare to use same tactics with Big'Uns... and the effects is also the same! yay.
Well, It wasn't proper butt-charge and they are Big'Uns so I was basically asking for it...
... And I could try to kill them with crossbows or hunting spear...
... So yeah, that's my fault.
Ouch... But don't panic! I got this shit! I didn't shitpost in my own LP just to abandon it now. I also have backup saves just in case.
EDIT:
Disregard me I suck cocks I looked at this battle again and actually I didn't lost anyone during fight with Arrer Boyz, it were Big'Uns that slaughtered the fuck out of Wołodyjowski. If not for this skirmish we would loose around 5 guys (dwarves don't matter they are temporary) and I could soften Big'Uns with crossbows and attack them with Dwarves who are better at fighting orcs. So I think I will redo this mission because I actually have good time doing this LP and I'm happy as a child when I see that someone is reading it. So I want to continue... blah blah. BRB i'm goind to fuck up Warhammer world time and space continuum.
Fun Fact: in this episode we... HOLY MOTHER OF GOD GOBLIN SHAMAN FLYING ON SOME GREEN SHIT!
Troops update:
7 out of 12. And we won't get any reinforcements until we reach Zhufbar.
Infantry is at full strength, but that's mostly because they were on vacations for couple of missions.
11/12. Not bad.
Every guide for SotHR says that it is essential to max out experience for Allor. Since max experience is 3000 and after all those mission Allor got 230 you can clearly see how well this campaign is going... I simply cannot into Amber Wizard. But I will not give up. Not until we reach a point where we can't afford to field any troops.
2nd mortar crew got some experience last mission. Well that's it, no point in showing other regiments since they didn't change at all.
I forgot to take screenshot of our troop choice so:
Cavalry
Grudgebringers Infantry
Crossbows
Allor
Both Mortars
We take mortars with us even though they are useless in ambush situation. We do this because after ambush we will get straight into regular mission in which mortars are able to deploy properly.
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MEANWHILE IN PLOT COUNTRY:
Isn't it "WAAAAGH!" not "WAAAARGH!"?
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MEANWHILE IN DIFFERENT PLOT COUNTRY:
Hey! it's Karl Franz! I loved his soothing voice in Dark Omen.
I have order to travel to our keep in Black Fire Pass to warn of the increased Orc activity in the mountains. From there we will use the pass to cross the mountains. Our combined might will ward of any Orc attack.
WARNING: This mission was going okey'ish but then suddenly it went all "Shadow of the Horned Rat" on my ass. It actually went so horribly bad that I decided to keep the results. I can't blame random battle system because most of the time I was actually pretty lucky, but I did some HORRIBLE mistakes. I'm pretty sure that I will be able to do next mission with what is left of Grudgebringers by now. But if not, I have backup saves so don't worry. Or actually rejoice because if you decide that I failed to prove that I'm not a steaming pile of shit at Let's Playing, this campaign will meet a dead end soon If I will fail next mission and not use my backup saves.
But anyway:
This is were we are. We can't use our mortars because it's an ambush. To make things even better, enemy has Rock Lobbers (orc's mortars) and they CAN use them.
Also they have airborne goblin shaman.
Enemy artillery stars pounding us. This is fucking Battle of the Bulge and Market Garden combined if you take FallschrimShaman into account. But the sides are all mixed up.
We order Fletcher to shoot at approaching orcs. Allor casts Hunting Spear at shaman and one infantry man dies because he got hit with fragments of rock from rock lobber. It must have hit quite far if just one dude died.
We cast another hunting spear. Just in case.
But they don't hit shaman fast enough and he was able to scare Allor.
I hyc o ziemie shaman kurwa bęc. Hunting Spears finally were able to kill shaman and he falls to the ground with satysfying "BOOM!".
We reoraganise our infantry into defensive line. Well it's a sort of a line... a little bit.
Meanwhile we send Jarema around the orcs to kill those fucking rock lobbers.
Orcs are coming. And I realised that my "defensive line" will be as effective as upside-down backward Maginote Line.
Orcs are getting near. Fletcher starts to have some second thoughts and is getting ready to get the fuck out from there. Also Jarema is somwhere doing something, I forgot about him because I was too busy crying like a little bitch.
Proper battle started. There is message that Cav had ben hit but they are fine thanks to Ptolos Shield.
You see? they are fine and getting ready to charge rock lobbers. They are also being followed by BIg'Uns and that's probably what saved infantry.
Rule of thumb is that if you fight Orcs in hand-to-hand combat, you loose. But Dwarves are ignorant fucks and they never heard of it so they beat the living shit out of orcs.
Allor tries to pick off some Arrer Boyz with Hunting Lance and generally make their life miserable.
Jarema is finished with rock lobbers so I send him around the Big'Uns to deal with Arrer Boyz. Also melee in the south is pretty much finished and it would went really good if few crossbowmen didn't get caught in it and died.
Dorfs killing remaining orcs.
Cav and infantry prepares to sandwich Arrer Boyz. This is where game went all SotHR on my ass. Arrer Boyz were charged from front AND the back. Charge from the back almost always means rout. It routes monster it even routes units who are immune to fear for pete's sake! But what Arrer boyz did?
Well, they stand and fight. And kill shitton of my dudes. I'm not bitching about this, mainly because I were really lucky at fighting orcs in melee in the south. All I'm saying that there was nothing that could be done about this. Trying to kill them with crossbows would mean losses for both sides. Casting Hunting spear or trying to curse them could get Allor killed. So I thought that encirclement will work best, but it didn't. Woe is me.
Arrer boyz are finally dead and we prepare to use same tactics with Big'Uns... and the effects is also the same! yay.
Well, It wasn't proper butt-charge and they are Big'Uns so I was basically asking for it...
... And I could try to kill them with crossbows or hunting spear...
... So yeah, that's my fault.
Ouch... But don't panic! I got this shit! I didn't shitpost in my own LP just to abandon it now. I also have backup saves just in case.
EDIT:
You amber wizard is really not getting much xp. 47? Even after taking down that shaman? Ouch. Maybe it'd have been better if you hadn't cocked up that human mission and gotten a go at the mission where Allor could hunting spear a troll?
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
You are right my Viking friend. I was never able to get him much experience, Rat ogres and trolls don't give that much exp and even though manual says that Hunting Spear supposed to "go through enemy regiment's and kill whole line on of dudes" I'm quite happy when it kills even one guy. I will redo this mission and try to grind some EXP for him and I will be back when we are at the same point... but with less loses.
anus_pounder
Arcane
Requesting Dark Omen LP after this. 
Use the search engine. Otherwise agreed, we need another!Requesting Dark Omen LP after this.
FUCK YEAH
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
Requesting Dark Omen LP after this.
I actually considered doing Dark Omen LP after I finish SotHR (or after SotHR finishes me, which is much more likely) but I don't see the point anymore if we already have one.
Ok, back to business:
Fun Fact: This is not the greatest update in the world this is just a tribute.
Ok, I'v redone Bridge and March missions. I didn't done any human missions after "bridge" because I'm still mad at Sven.
This is how Bridge over the River Weiss mission should have ended but didn't for some reason. Maybe too many orcs escaped?
I mean, it's not glorious victory but at least game don't give me shit about me fleeing from battle. Also, hilarious stuff, routing Arrer Boyz routed Black Avengers, I'm not shitting you. Fleeing arrer boyz got near Black Avengers and Avengers started to run away... and lost few men, they tripped or something?
Bohun didn't have to waste bullet on Bernard, orcs got him
March to Zhufbar official debrief.
I was unable to do any better than that.
I also noticed one thing. If you play SotHR long enough, after a while you stop shaking and sobing and start to laugh maniacally, your anus keeps bleeding though...
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
MISSION 11: MARCH TO ZHUFBAR (Ambush2)
We are approaching Kurgan's Keep on our journey to Zhufbar. Also I run out of clip-clop pictures...
Even though this battle counts as an ambush, our mortars are operational.
Kurgan's Keep, looks more like furnance in second mission of Blood.
On our left we have Orcs ready to rape some beaten up Dwarf regiment. We will send someone to prevent them from doing so.
Since this seems like a pretty easy mission, we deploy "Total War" style. I forgot to take screenshots for a minute or so but not much was lost. Basically orcs went straight at us and most of them were killed/routed by Fletcher and mortars. Also Black Avengers together with NPC dwarves killed orcs on our left.
Dealing what is left of main body of orc attack force and sending Wołodyjowski to deal with Arrer Boyz.
Since mr. Black is finished with his targer we order him to assist Wołodyjowski.
Dorfs are outnumbered but orcs which they are fighting been cursed by Allor so they should be fine.
Boar riders which were routed when I wasn't taking screenshots re-groups and Wołodyjowski now must attack them instead of arrer boyz.
Something killed quite a lot of Arrer Boyz and I'm not sure what. In fact, there is only one left.
Close-up of this cheerful fellow.
Ramon Black and his Dwarven friends are coming in for the kill.
But Ramon got stuck on a rock...
Did I show you the Keep already?
Dwarves gang-bang one remaing orc and that's it!
It was short and easy battle, but my performance wasn't optimal because I'm still oozing tears through my ass after redoing last mission...
Some dwarves died but they are temporary so fuck them... they are temporary, right?...
We are approaching the Averland Keep.
Halt! Who goes there?
I command the Mercenary army of Grudgebringers. We have been hired by these Dwarfs to help raise the siege of Zhufbar. I seek safe transit through pass.
I am Captain Holger of the Leitdorf 9th Crossbow Regiment. I want to hire you...
Cliffhanger!
We are approaching Kurgan's Keep on our journey to Zhufbar. Also I run out of clip-clop pictures...
Even though this battle counts as an ambush, our mortars are operational.
Kurgan's Keep, looks more like furnance in second mission of Blood.
On our left we have Orcs ready to rape some beaten up Dwarf regiment. We will send someone to prevent them from doing so.
Since this seems like a pretty easy mission, we deploy "Total War" style. I forgot to take screenshots for a minute or so but not much was lost. Basically orcs went straight at us and most of them were killed/routed by Fletcher and mortars. Also Black Avengers together with NPC dwarves killed orcs on our left.
Dealing what is left of main body of orc attack force and sending Wołodyjowski to deal with Arrer Boyz.
Since mr. Black is finished with his targer we order him to assist Wołodyjowski.
Dorfs are outnumbered but orcs which they are fighting been cursed by Allor so they should be fine.
Boar riders which were routed when I wasn't taking screenshots re-groups and Wołodyjowski now must attack them instead of arrer boyz.
Something killed quite a lot of Arrer Boyz and I'm not sure what. In fact, there is only one left.
Close-up of this cheerful fellow.
Ramon Black and his Dwarven friends are coming in for the kill.
But Ramon got stuck on a rock...
Did I show you the Keep already?
Dwarves gang-bang one remaing orc and that's it!
It was short and easy battle, but my performance wasn't optimal because I'm still oozing tears through my ass after redoing last mission...
Some dwarves died but they are temporary so fuck them... they are temporary, right?...
We are approaching the Averland Keep.
Halt! Who goes there?
I command the Mercenary army of Grudgebringers. We have been hired by these Dwarfs to help raise the siege of Zhufbar. I seek safe transit through pass.
I am Captain Holger of the Leitdorf 9th Crossbow Regiment. I want to hire you...
Cliffhanger!
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