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Let's Play Ultima VII...on the Super Nintendo - COMPLETED!

Heresiarch

Prophet
Joined
Mar 8, 2008
Messages
1,451
BRO U R SO AWESUM

I actually thought you we're a coward and backed down from this cthulhuish horror. But then this LP got updated!

Personally I forgot what would happen if you go to the wisp so maybe you can go follow EA? That'll bring more exploration around and you know exploring is so awesome in Ultima. Maybe go for a trip to moonglow? I love that city. And I remember there'll be a crystal ball recorded the owner getting murderedkidnapped.
 

Luzur

Good Sir
Joined
Feb 12, 2009
Messages
41,396
Location
Swedish Empire
Destard is supposed to be a natural cave, but i guess who ever made this game didnt research a single thing about Ultima.
 

Silellak

Cipher
Joined
Aug 19, 2008
Messages
3,198
Location
Tucson, AZ
Heresiarch said:
BRO U R SO AWESUM

I actually thought you we're a coward and backed down from this cthulhuish horror. But then this LP got updated!
Nope, I really do have every intention of seeing this through, but when I get busy and my gaming time is limited, it's harder to justify spending a couple of valuable hours on this piece of shit. My sense of morbid curiosity far outweighs my sense of self preservation, though, so this will get finished, one way or another.

I'm actually hoping to do a LP of U5: Lazarus after this, since I've been meaning to replay it anyway, and it would be a nice way to reward myself (and all you sad fucks who decided to tag along).

Luzur said:
Destard is supposed to be a natural cave, but i guess who ever made this game didnt research a single thing about Ultima.
Yeah, the whole Destard thing just made me :rage: (clearly). I mean, there are some awful decisions that can be attributed to the technological limitations of converting a game to a console when it was clearly never meant to be ON a console. But then there are other decisions, like this, where it seems like the design team actively hates everything about the Ultima games.
 

Elzair

Cipher
Joined
Apr 7, 2009
Messages
2,254
Follow Elizabeth and Abraham as far as you can. I want to see as much pain as possible.
 

Silellak

Cipher
Joined
Aug 19, 2008
Messages
3,198
Location
Tucson, AZ
Part 10: In which we continue to chase Elizabeth and Abraham

Having recently completed Alpha Protocol, I suppose I can no longer use my "this LP is on hiatus while I'm playing good games" excuse.

Which means...ONWARD TO VESPER, dear readers! In pursuit of Elizabeth and Abraham!

Go go gadget boat!
U7_SNES_10_0.JPG


Woosh! Vesper.

U7_SNES_10_1.JPG


I stop by the courthouse, where the mayor mentions there was an attack in town.
U7_SNES_10_2.JPG

U7_SNES_10_3.JPG

Oye. Every NPC in this game is absolutely worthless.

He also says our targets were in town.
U7_SNES_10_4.JPG

U7_SNES_10_5.JPG

Oh good a mine I cannot wait for another dungeon crawl.

Though really, I haven't decided if the incredibly boring city/exploration sections are really better or worse than the awful dungeon sections. They're really bother intolerable in their own special way. Kind of like skyway and Volourn. :love:

The desert outside Minoc. Look everyone, a new tileset!
U7_SNES_10_6.JPG

Oh, and as in any good action game, running into the cactii hurts you. Naturally. Apparently the Avatar is an idiot and just slams head-first into the nearest cactus bush.

This must be the inn.
U7_SNES_10_7.JPG


A gilded lizard? So kind of like a golden gecko?

Golden_Gecko.gif


Sorry, I'm just desperate for any sort of connection to a game that doesn't want to make me kill myself. Allow me that brief diversion, at least.

Time to ask the innkeeper about the attack.
U7_SNES_10_8.JPG

U7_SNES_10_9.JPG


Hey, if the Gargoyles are killing off human NPCs in this game, they have my full support. Sign me the fuck up.
gargoyle_avatar.jpg


I have no idea where this picture came from or who made it. It looks like really bad fan art, but hey, it's the first Google Image result for "Ultima gargoyle avatar". You get what you pay for.

This is Blorn, the guy who was attacked. He is a tool.
U7_SNES_10_10.JPG


I wish I could leave you alone, but the ADD RPG gods demand I speak to every NPC in a town.

U7_SNES_10_11.JPG

U7_SNES_10_12.JPG


Asking the Avatar to help with your revenge? Really? You know the ninth virtue isn't Vengeance, right?
samuel_l_avatar.jpg

...though I guess it would be pretty awesome if it was.

Anyway, someone from the mining company lets me know that Elizabeth and Abraham were just there.
U7_SNES_10_13.JPG

U7_SNES_10_14.JPG

Bad news: they've apparently already left. Good news: no dungeon crawl to find them.

Also: choices and consequences.
U7_SNES_10_15.JPG


We also find our devious assaulter:
U7_SNES_10_16.JPG

U7_SNES_10_17.JPG

U7_SNES_10_18.JPG


Aw. Guess I won't be going Samuel L. Avatar on his ass.
samuel_l_avatar.jpg

...not that the game would let me, anyway.

Though, for good measure, he is a shot of me trying...
U7_SNES_10_19.JPG

...or humping his leg, I'm not sure which.

While exploring, I come across a pair of gargoyles who become hostile after a brief dialog.
U7_SNES_10_20.JPG

This is the first time I've been attacked by something in-town that wasn't a rat, slime, skeleton, or spider, so I guess that's a bit of an :incline: for the game so far. Amazingly enough, they don't respawn, either! :incline: indeed.

A gargoyle shopkeeper wants to sell me something called a "fireball ring".
U7_SNES_10_21.JPG

I buy it, for 3 reasons: 1) I can afford it. 2) Now that I have a boat, money is meaningless. 3) I have no idea what it does, but I do know that fireballs are awesome.

Since there is no "ring" slow on the paperdoll, I equip it like a weapon.
U7_SNES_10_22.JPG


Fuck yeah.
U7_SNES_10_23.JPG

samuel_l_avatar.jpg

Okay, I am done with that picture for this update at least, I swear. Besides, the ring is fairly worthless, because it drains a magic point for each shot. Oh well.

By the way, I'm pretty sure those random gargoyles who attacked me set a flag that made all gargoyle NPCs hostile, but since they can't attack me, and vice-versa, they just follow me around very closely.
:decline:

Time to confront Blorn with the amulet.
U7_SNES_10_24.JPG

...well that was easy. Side note: is this the only SNES game to deal with racism? Hm.

Returning the amulet nets us useful info.
U7_SNES_10_25.JPG

U7_SNES_10_26.JPG

Cool, we're totally supposed to visit them. I think. It's been awhile since I've played, but I'm pretty sure it's somewhere on my to-do list, right after I finish chasing Elizabeth and Abraham.

Also, I sort of have to wonder how a wingless gargoyle miner who in Vesper knows how contact creatures who live across the continent in Yew, or why the fuck he thinks the fucking Avatar of all people would care, but you know, whatever.

Speaking of Elizabeth and Abraham, I suppose it's high time we get to Moonglow...next update!





...nah, just fucking with ya. I've made you bastards wait long enough, so I may as well keep this going a bit longer.

Before leaving, though, I stop by the Vesper blackrock mine, just for good measure. It has an ugly looking skull on it, because apparently they mine evil there.
U7_SNES_10_27.JPG


There's not much of interest in there, besides lots of Blackrock, which I suppose isn't terribly surprising.

U7_SNES_10_28.JPG

Actually, I guess it is a bit surprising, considering that the dungeon of dragons did not have any dragons. Another :incline: for the game! GOTY 1992, clearly.

Oh, and another of these pops up:
U7_SNES_10_29.JPG

Somehow it's just not the same without voice acting. Please don't eat me, giant muppet head.

Pro-tip: turn off sound before watching the video because the person who made it is really fucking annoying.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4KTLmqZlFc

Anyway, apparently the Guardian was mad because I was about to find this:
U7_SNES_10_30.JPG

No idea what it does, but hey, loot is loot.

It's magic boat time!
candle_1.jpg

U7_SNES_10_31.JPG

U7_SNES_10_32.JPG


The first building contains an observatory...
U7_SNES_10_33.JPG

And a "subtle" commentary on light pollution. Yes, I am sure those torches must really make things awful for you all.

He is making a telescope, but can't finish without a crystal, which he can't afford to buy from Addom, the merchant in town.
U7_SNES_10_34.JPG

U7_SNES_10_35.JPG

First NPC in and I already have a sidequest. Hooray.

A book in the observatory warns of doom during the upcoming plantary alignment.
U7_SNES_10_36.JPG

Gee, I wonder how a telescope might factor in. :roll:

I run into Addom, bragging about his crystal.
U7_SNES_10_37.JPG


Compensating for something? :smug:

U7_SNES_10_38.JPG


Wow, our new astronomer friend couldn't afford a hundred gold? Fucking bum.

U7_SNES_10_39.JPG

"Enabling" is not the ninth virtue either, Avatar.

I make sure to loot at least 100 gold worth of shit from his house, just on principle.

Either way, our cheapass friend is happy to get his crystal...
U7_SNES_10_40.JPG


...so happy that he just gives us the telescope he was working on. Thanks, but didn't you like...want to use it, first? You know, whatever.

U7_SNES_10_41.JPG


Once again we have a minor bit of :incline: as the game refuses to let me use the telescope outdoors during the day.
U7_SNES_10_42.JPG

Game of the decade?!?

Anyway, if we wait til night time and use it, we get this pretty picture:
U7_SNES_10_48.JPG

No alignment, so I guess we're okay...for now.

By the way, here's a treat for you Ultima Fans...the Lycaeum, center of knowledge, science, and Truth for all Britannia!
U7_SNES_10_43.JPG

Yup, that's the whole thing. The whole. Fucking. Thing. I mean, seriously, can you imagine an Ultima game disrespecting one of the core pieces of architecture in all of Britann--
UltimaWiki said:
In Ultima IX, the old Lycaeum was destroyed when the Columns erupted and caused the Cataslym and a new "Lycaeum", a small building floating in the sky, makes an appearance. The game seems inconclusive as to why and when Lycaeum was rebuilt this way.
--oh, right.

Time to visit the local Fellowship Hall to look for Elizabeth and Abraham. The assistant to the local Fellowship head doesn't trust him for some reason.
U7_SNES_10_44.JPG


But her boss says she's a liar.

U7_SNES_10_45.JPG

Me? I could give two shits because I doubt this is relevant at all, beyond being the hundredth time the game has implied the Fellowship might not be on the up-and-up.

So how about Elizabeth and Abra--
U7_SNES_10_46.JPG

--I hate you.

That's pretty much all there is to Moonglow, beyond this mention of Penumbra:
U7_SNES_10_47.JPG


I wonder what sort of powerful, ancient artifact we might need to awaken this great mage? Surely a grand, epic quest will be required - it's not like you can just walk across the street and buy like, a potion of awakening, right? That'd be fucking ridiculous.

U7_SNES_10_49.JPG

:rage:

Anyway, we'll come back later for Penumbra, I'm sure. For now, to Terfin, island of the Daemons Gargoyles!
U7_SNES_10_50.JPG

...next time! :smug:
 

lightbane

Arcane
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
10,158
How long is this game then? Will you have to suffer this piece of shit for let's say another 6 hours or so?
 

Silellak

Cipher
Joined
Aug 19, 2008
Messages
3,198
Location
Tucson, AZ
lightbane said:
How long is this game then? Will you have to suffer this piece of shit for let's say another 6 hours or so?
No fucking idea, really. I'd say I have at least another 5-6 hours to go, at bare minimum.

Another update is cookin'! I'm on fire!
 

Silellak

Cipher
Joined
Aug 19, 2008
Messages
3,198
Location
Tucson, AZ
Part 11: In which we almost break a side quest, visit a pirate island with no pirates, and the Guardian becomes a needy ex-girlfriend

HOLY SHIT TWO UPDATES IN ONE WEEK?! WHAT MADNESS IS THIS?!?!?

I really spoil the fuck out of you guys.

Time to venture forth to Terfin, land of the Daemons Gargoyles.

Draxinusom, Lord of the Gargoyles, randomly tells us about a magic ring lost in a dungeon that I'm sure will be part of a quest later entirely irrelevant. He is also, perhaps, the only NPC I don't have the option to ask about the Fellowship, for whatever reason.
U7_SNES_10_51.JPG

U7_SNES_10_52.JPG


Oh, and see that switch and the doorway near the bookcase?
U7_SNES_10_53.JPG

The switch moved the bookcase to reveal a hidden door, opening up the back half of the building. A fun idea - too bad there is absolutely nothing interesting in there.

This is supposed to be a shrine, apparently:
U7_SNES_10_54.JPG

And yes, the fire does hurt you if you walk into it. Realism!

It just occured to me as I explored Terfin, and I know I mentioned it a long time ago, but now that I've seen this much of the game, it bares repeating - pretty much every single building in the game has a little mini-dungeon as a basement. It's like the designers thought their action RPG didn't have enough combat and their brilliant solution was "PUT REPETITIVE POINTLESS DUNGEONS EVERYWHERE". What other game would possibly consider that a viable option?
oblivion-cover.jpg

Ah, right. Game of the century!

The local Fellowship head lets me know where Elizabeth and Abraham have left for next...
U7_SNES_10_55.JPG

...and that they like, totally aren't behind any plans to blow anything up in town. Like that shrine I burned myself on earlier.
U7_SNES_10_56.JPG


I'm sure this Fellowship-loving supply-store owner is in no way hiding something incriminating in his magically-locked basement, either.
U7_SNES_10_57.JPG

U7_SNES_10_58.JPG

oh_snap.gif

Great success!!

Runeb, the fellow mentioned in the letter, is the assistant to the local Fellowship head.
U7_SNES_10_59.JPG

He attacks me when I show him the note.

That...really seems to be it for this quest, if you can even call it a quest. I know it seems like I must've missed something like...you know, the start of it...but I swear, this is all there is to it. I'm not even sure I would have realized there was a quest, until I stumbled across that note. It's basically the cliff-notes version of the PC quest, which...I guess is an appropriate metaphor for the game, really.

After finishing the quest, I ran across the guy who was apparently supposed to start it. I told him what I'd found and he gave me a tip about magic armor in the desert near Vesper.
U7_SNES_10_60.JPG

Since I can magically teleport between docks on a whim, I may as well go looking for it before I just...forget.

You know, for all my bitching about the "magic boat", it sure does make this LP easier. As does the ridiculous "Again" dialog option that every single NPC in the game has.

Back in the desert. It can't take that long to explore, considering how small all the areas in this game are.
U7_SNES_11_0.JPG


This is where a moongate might appear, in a real Ultima game.
U7_SNES_11_1.JPG


In this pile of bones and cactii...
U7_SNES_11_2.JPG


...I find this:
U7_SNES_11_3.JPG

Now, I'm not really sure what flame armor is, but I know it's differently-colored platemail, which in action-RPG land means it must be fucking awesome.

Alright, enough screwing around: off to Fellowship Island.
U7_SNES_10_61.JPG


And here we are.
U7_SNES_11_4.JPG

Oh, see that pile of blackrock by the dock? Yeah, that was dropped by a rat who randomly spawned and attacked me. This game rules.

The fellow wandering around the docks tells us that Elizabeth and Abraham have moved on to Buccaneer's Den.
U7_SNES_11_5.JPG

Buccaneer's Den: home to pirates. Pirates like HOOK perhaps?!? What a shocking and unexpected connection.

The building has a two-level basement filled with the usual assortment of creatures.
U7_SNES_11_6.JPG

It is worth noting that skeletons are pretty much the most annoying creatures to fight, because every time one dies, they drop a "bone" weapon. You can't sell the "bone" weapons, and you automatically pick them up when you walk over them. And skeletons usually attack in groups of 2-4. So, you have to constantly micro-manage your limited inventory space to keep from getting swamped by these worthless items. Awesome. Fuck, this shit makes me miss individually feeding my party members in the PC version.

There's also blackrock everywhere. There's blackrock pretty much anywhere the Fellowship is, actually. It's almost as though the creators were trying to imply some sort of connection between the Fellowship and blackrock.

Wait, what's the name of this game again?
ultima7snescover.JPG

oh_snap.gif


I also find an entrance to another dungeon:
U7_SNES_11_7.JPG

But I'm ignoring it for now, because damnit, I'm on a mission.

To Buccaneer's Den!
U7_SNES_11_8.JPG


PIRATES WOO!!
pirates3.jpg

Britannia's very own Tortuga awaits!

...yeah, it looks just like every other fucking city in the game.
U7_SNES_11_9.JPG

Sigh.

There are also trolls on the island...
U7_SNES_11_10.JPG

...which begs the question "How the fuck did trolls get to an island with no connection to the mainland?"...which then begs the better question "Why have I not learned to stop expecting logic from this abomination?"

A little exploration reveals the:
U7_SNES_11_11.JPG

Gambling! Sweet! All good roleplaying games have in-depth gambling minigames.

fallout_nv.jpg


Unfortunately, the door is locked and I can't open it. Downstairs a guard informs me:
U7_SNES_11_12.JPG

As you might imagine, he will never in fact "deal with thee", but you also can't get past him. You can, however, select "Again" over and over and over until, presumably, one or both of them die of starvation.

After leaving the building, the Grand Muppet shows up to offer some great advice.
U7_SNES_11_13.JPG

Of course, unlike the PC version, there's no option to actually tell anyone inside that. So it's like the developer just had a checklist of items from the PC version they had to include, regardless of whether or not it had any relevance to the version of the game the player was actually playing. It's the last-last-last gen version of seeing X-Box controller buttons in PC gaming menus, I guess.

This is the pirate tavern, the Jolly Roger.
U7_SNES_11_14.JPG

Notice the distinct lack of pirates. Or employees. Or anything that would differentiate it from the other dozen taverns in the game.

In fact, the only other NPC I can find in all of Buccaneer's Den is the Fellowship branch head. That's right: there are no dragons in the dungeon of dragons, and no pirates in the city of pirates. I'm honestly surprised the city of Gargoyles had fucking gargoyles and they didn't just cut the two gargoyle sprites out of the game entirely in order to save space on the catridge or some shit.
U7_SNES_11_15.JPG

Ah. So when King Muppet said "Go inside. Tell them you are the Avatar.", he actually meant the building that was a bit to the north of me, not the one I was actually standing in front of. Logically.

As the Guardian suggested, we tell him our true identity!
batman_6.jpg

No, not that one.
samuel_l_avatar.jpg

Yeah, that's the one.

U7_SNES_11_16.JPG

Wow, that accomplished a lot. I like how he's also apparently the only person in Britannia who not only doesn't know I am the Avatar instantly, but also doubts our identity. The whole "doubting you are the Avatar" thing is an entire sub-story in the PC version of Ultima VII, but apparently for this version, they decided one dude in one town would cut it. Nice.

I ask about Elizabeth and Abraham...
U7_SNES_11_17.JPG

...finally! Though, as one would expect, they are in the one building I can't actually explore yet.

Fortunately, this dude will sell me a key...
U7_SNES_11_18.JPG

...because that's what the Fellowship does now, apparently.

Inside the House of Games, which unsurprisingly, looks like every other dungeon/basement/tavern/spaceship in the game, I am again granted a vision.
U7_SNES_11_20.JPG

its_a_trap.jpg


A little bit more exploration and he shows up again:
U7_SNES_11_21.JPG

Angry muppet is angry.

I enter this room:
U7_SNES_11_22.JPG


And am greeted with:
U7_SNES_11_23.JPG

Wow, the Guardian barely shows up for half of the game, and now suddenly I'm getting spammed with his messages every 5 feet.

I'm not even sure why he was taunting me. The chests were empty, and I was attacked my two mongbats who randomly spawned, but that's it.
its_a_trap2.jpg

Worst trap ever.

And again...
U7_SNES_11_24.JPG

WOULD YOU KINDLY SHUT THE FUCK UP. At this point I feel it's worth mentioning that the same "overworld" music that plays over 90% of the game is playing this entire time, and kind of ruins any sort of "menacing" mood the creators were going for.

Another trap:
U7_SNES_11_25.JPG


Another taunt:
U7_SNES_11_26.JPG

And then I realize it. They actually turned the House of Games into a fucking DUNGEON MAZE.

Yes, that's right. This place:
HouseGames.jpg

Is now a fucking dungeon. Awesome.

Now, in the original game, there is a hidden passage connecting the House of Games to a cave hidden in the mountains. But the House itself is not a dungeon.

Also: so far the 'theme' of this little maze seems to be that all the boxes in the place are empty, so I guess I'm supposed to try and find one that's not? I am not sure why I'm doing this, though, since I thought I was looking for Elizabeth and Abraham and I'm pretty sure they can't fit inside a fucking box.

We finally hit a dead end, so back to the beginning to try the other direction.
U7_SNES_11_27.JPG

:rage:

I find a couple of boxes that have gold in them and get...
U7_SNES_11_28.JPG

...WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? Where are Elizabeth and Abraham? Where is anyone else? Is this how they decided to implement the House of Games? No time left for gambling mini-games, so here's a dungeon where some rooms have gold and some rooms have traps!

So I continue to follow the chests that have gold in them, until I eventually reach an exit and get one final message.
U7_SNES_11_29.JPG

MushroomCloudFinger.jpg

I'm "truly an Avatar"? Really? Because I navigated a "maze" that took all of 5 minutes? Wow, I never knew being an Avatar was so easy - or had so much to do with basic navigation skills!

Just beyond the door:
U7_SNES_11_30.JPG

Wow. So the Guardian is the personification of all of the Avatar's ex-girlfriends, apparently.

Looks like the "listen to the Guardian" theme of this dungeon is still going strong:
U7_SNES_11_31.JPG

So again I follow the Guardian's advice, only to be confronted with this:
U7_SNES_11_32.JPG

And this:
U7_SNES_11_33.JPG

...this is the worst casino ever.

So I go the other way, and am at this point seriously being interrupted every five steps by Captain Muppet telling me I'm going the wrong way. I'm not exaggerating, either. I have to close out of his taunts like a dozen times. It's almost the most annoying thing I've done so far in this game, and as you know, that says a lot.

This exit leads to:
U7_SNES_11_34.JPG

The entrance!

So...yeah. That was the House of games. No Elizabeth. No Abraham. Just a whole lot of annoyance, and a bit of gold. What the fuck? Regardless, I guess that's the end of the Elizabeth and Abraham quest, for now.

Next time, we follow our only other lead: the wisps and the emps in Yew.

Kill me.
 
Self-Ejected

Ulminati

Kamelåså!
Patron
Joined
Jun 18, 2010
Messages
20,317
Location
DiNMRK
Truly a painful game to play through. Thank god I'm not the one who has to suffer for our amusement. :salute:

U7_SNES_11_29.JPG
 

lightbane

Arcane
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
10,158
So that confirms it: The Decline is nothing but a full circle like everything else, this Ultima 7 for the SNES probably is a horrid spinoff of an awesome game that inspired Oblivion, and the latter will be the base of a game so bad that will completely ruin the game industry and reset it, starting a new golden age... Sadly this will not happen until several decades later.
 

Jaesun

Fabulous Ex-Moderator
Patron
Joined
May 14, 2004
Messages
37,241
Location
Seattle, WA USA
MCA
I continue to pray you maintain your sanity Silellak while playing this piece of pure Ultima shit. Thank you kind sir. :salute:
 

Silellak

Cipher
Joined
Aug 19, 2008
Messages
3,198
Location
Tucson, AZ
Jaesun said:
I continue to pray you maintain your sanity Silellak while playing this piece of pure Ultima shit. Thank you kind sir. :salute:
I wouldn't trouble yourself too much - I'm pretty sure "sanity" left the equation once the thought "Hey, I should do an LP of Ultima 7 on the SNES!" entered my mind.

Still, the thought is appreciated. :salute:
 

Silellak

Cipher
Joined
Aug 19, 2008
Messages
3,198
Location
Tucson, AZ
Part 12: In which we explore the humor capital of Britannia, discuss the Guardian with trolls, and meet up with the Ewoks Emps
I've decided I won't play the Ultima 6 Project until this LP is finished, which means it's time for me to again suffer for your amusement.

Our quest for Elizabeth and Abraham has reached a stand-still, so now we follow the gypsy from Minoc's advice:
U7_SNES_7_34.JPG

U7_SNES_7_36.JPG

U7_SNES_7_38.JPG


Guess that means we're off to Empath Abbey to see the Monks!
oz.jpg


A little something on Empath Abbey for the unitiated:
Situated on the northwestern part of the britannian main continent, northwest of the Deep Forest and Yew, Empath Abbey stands as a building symbolizing the principle of Love. While once a fortress, it is now a monastery of the Brotherhood of the Rose, where their monks teach of love, while humbly dedicating their lives to enrich Britannia. It is a place, where the traveler is always welcome.

The monks are also known for making the best wine in all of Britannia (and for using quite a bit for themselves). Near the monastery are two places of interest: the big Graveyard of Britannia and the Knight's Bridge Field. Empath Abbey is also known to house the Eternal Flame of Love and the Candle of Love, two items of symbolic significance. As long as Empath Abbey stands, love and compassion will shine in the world.
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

Oh, and remember the Random Useful Tip we got earlier about Ewoks Emps:
U7_SNES_10_26.JPG


Empath Abbey doesn't have a direct dock, so first we'll sail for the town of Yew:
U7_SNES_12_0.JPG


The shopkeep is selling an Earth Sword, which of course we buy, because magic swords are awesome and money is meaningless.
U7_SNES_12_1.JPG

This adds to our collection of magic swords: we now have a Wing, Water, and Earth sword. Who wants to bet we'll find a Fire sword?

It's too bad all we can find magic-weapon wise are elemental swords; Ultima VII on the PC had some badass magic weapons:

Bswrd.jpg

http://ultima.wikia.com/wiki/The_Black_Sword

Doom.jpg

http://ultima.wikia.com/wiki/Firedoom_Staff

And who could forget:
Hoe.jpg

http://ultima.wikia.com/wiki/Hoe_of_Destruction

Nothing says 'badass' like a magically enchanted Hoe of Destruction. *single tear of nostalgia*
indian.jpg


The city of Yew seems pretty empty, unsurprisingly. Even the tavern doesn't get a name:
U7_SNES_12_2.JPG

Either that, or it has the least creative owner ever.

And here is Empath Abbey:
U7_SNES_12_3.JPG

Which looks just like every other building in the game...
U7_SNES_12_4.JPG

...and I can't explore because I burned through my limited supply of skeleton keys in the House of Games.
:rage:
Apparently the Monks are very protective of their secrecy. Either that, or this game was designed by fucking idiots. Which seems more likely?
smiley.JPG


Of course, shops don't sell skeleton keys. The best way to get a lot quickly is to find a place where they spawn and enter/exit enough times to max out our collection.

This is just as fun and exciting as it sounds, people.

My exploration leads me to the Yew courthouse, where the first non-shop-owning NPC I find accuses me of a crime.
U7_SNES_12_5.JPG

Huh?
U7_SNES_12_6.JPG

...what? You didn't realize I was the Avatar? Well that actually makes sense, but at what point did you figure it out? I guess I'm forced to assume I told him, but...what? Why did he assume I had commited a crime until he realized I was the Avatar? Jesus, the "writing" in this game makes Bethesda look like fucking Shakespeare.

That's right: it took Ultima VII on the SNES to show me the merits of Oblivion.

He knows nothing about the Ewoks Emps...
U7_SNES_12_7.JPG

and has apparently confused the Avatar with Batman.

batman_6.jpg

A common mistake.

I was hoping that was all this useless fuck had to say, but I accidentally stumbled over what is apparently Yew's sidequest, as he starts rambling about how the Fellowship helped him catch a criminal.
U7_SNES_12_8.JPG

Goddamn do I fucking hate the sidequests in this game. But I soldier on - for you. :salute:
U7_SNES_12_9.JPG

Oh God not these two again.
U7_SNES_12_10.JPG

Yeah, good luck with that. :roll:

Elsewhere in the Courthouse, I find an incredibly valuable scroll.
U7_SNES_12_11.JPG

HUMOR!
smiley.JPG
smiley.JPG
smiley.JPG
smiley.JPG
smiley.JPG


Apparently the Courthouse is where all the humor writing went. There are a few "hilarious" wanted posters around the place. I'll spare you most of them, but here's a sample:
U7_SNES_12_12.JPG

You're welcome.

The jail under the Courthouse is full of ghosts and rats:
U7_SNES_12_13.JPG

And a talking troll:
U7_SNES_12_14.JPG

Who, like every other NPC in the game, can be asked about the Fellowship, and somehow knows I'm the Avatar.
DoubleFacePalm.jpg


Anyway...
U7_SNES_12_15.JPG

Who the fuck arrested a Troll? That's a story I'd like to hear.
U7_SNES_12_16.JPG

Oh God please don't tell me this is going where I think it's going.
U7_SNES_12_17.JPG

Yup. Apparently the Guardian is talking to Trolls now, too. Because why the fuck not, right?

One of the other prisoners knows Hook:
U7_SNES_12_18.JPG

U7_SNES_12_19.JPG

Oh cool I was just there. Does he like the House of Games? That place is awesome.

Then there's Kreg, who of course claims innocence.
U7_SNES_12_20.JPG

U7_SNES_12_21.JPG

U7_SNES_12_22.JPG

U7_SNES_12_23.JPG

U7_SNES_12_24.JPG

smileybigger.JPG


He's clearly crazy. Except...
U7_SNES_12_25.JPG

...could he possibly mean...
U7_SNES_12_26.JPG

...whoops, nevermind, not going anywhere.

What a fantastic waste of time. I found out that the Guardian is talking to Trolls for some reason, the pirate Hook hangs out on the island of pirates, and that a crazy guy thinks there's a conspiracy. Though I have to admit, I am honestly surprised the writers even knew what the "Earth Serpent" was.

So we get :decline: + :decline: + :decline: + :incline: = :decline:

Elsewhere in town, there's a graveyard with hilarious headstones like:
U7_SNES_12_27.JPG

Yew: comedy capital of Britannia. Who knew?
U7_SNES_12_YewFunny.jpg

...dear God I hate this place and everything about it. Let's get some fucking keys and finish off this Emp shit before I burn this city to the ground.

We finally get in to talk to a Monk:
U7_SNES_12_28.JPG

U7_SNES_12_29.JPG

U7_SNES_12_30.JPG

Hooray, another dungeon crawl! In the game's defense, this particular dungeon crawl was in the PC version, and at least a dungeon crawl is one of the few times the music actually changes.

Anyway...smoke bomb? Like a ninja?
ninja.jpg

U7_SNES_12_31.JPG

A Monk of Empath Abbey is selling the Avatar a smoke bomb.

:thumbsup:

I go ahead and buy it, even though I probably won't need it, because ninjas are cool and thus smoke bombs are cool.
U7_SNES_12_32.JPG

I guess this is a replacement for the whole "Tsermand and his smoke arrows" thing from the PC game, since this version has no companions.

Oh, and Empath Abbey has skeletons in the basement:
U7_SNES_12_33.JPG

Of course it does.

Guess it's time for another dungeon crawl, SNES-style!

Looks like this is the place:
U7_SNES_12_34.JPG

Unlike other dungeons, I can actually leave the way I came in:
U7_SNES_12_35.JPG

Innovation!

We equip the smoke bomb and dual-wield it with our new Earth Sword, because that's what ninjas would do.
U7_SNES_12_36.JPG

ninja.jpg

I just really wanted to use this picture again.

At first the smoke bomb seems to do nothing, but then I realize I have to push the "use" button while it's selected:
U7_SNES_12_37.JPG

Clearly this game is too smart for me.

After that, the bees do, in fact, leave me alone. Which is good, because while I can kill them, they are a huge pain in the ass - I have to used ranged weapons, since all my melee attacks seem to miss.

Here is my obligatory "in the dungeon" screenshot.
U7_SNES_12_38.JPG

I was using my Magic Jesus Power to lift the giant rock.

Oh, and giant bees can build levers now, apparently.
U7_SNES_12_39.JPG

Flipping it opens a hole in the wall (naturally)...
U7_SNES_12_40.JPG

...that goes into an empty room (also naturally). The dungeons in this game are literally full of empty rooms that serve no purpose, except presumably to annoy the fuck out of the 27 people who ever played this game.

Finally, one of the honey combs (of the dozens of searchable ones) has what I'm looking for. I found honey combs with gold, honey combs with ankhs, honey combs with fucking bread before I found this one.
U7_SNES_12_41.JPG

Surprisingly, taking it doesn't suddenly make all the bees turn hostile.

We leave the way we came (for once) and now need to find a way to use the honey to meet the Ewoks Emps.

Exploring the forest near Yew, my stalker shows up again:
U7_SNES_12_42.JPG

Guess I'm getting close.

U7_SNES_12_43.JPG

Endor_celebration.jpg

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Thanks to the Ewoks Emps, we now have a way to contact the Wisps. I wander a bit into the forest and cast Vas Fuk Dis to pass time by while holding the lantern.

Night comes, still no Wisps.
U7_SNES_12_48.JPG


Finally!
U7_SNES_12_49.JPG

Interestingly (and refreshingly), the music actually changes when the Wisp shows up.

Hopefully they'll tell me how to find the Time Lord. Of course, nothing is ever that easy...
U7_SNES_12_50.JPG

U7_SNES_12_51.JPG

Boy, I sure hope Alanger hasn't been murdered kidnapped!
smiley.JPG


Next time - off to New Magincia!
 

ghostdog

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Dec 31, 2007
Messages
11,079
Welcome back !

LP necromancy is strong these days...
 

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