Tacticular Cancer: We'll have your balls

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Let's Play Ultima VII...on the Super Nintendo - COMPLETED!

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by Silellak, Jul 16, 2009.

  1. Heresiarch Liturgist

    Heresiarch
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    I would get probably flamed, but, you know, as someone who have played the PC version, I could say some, if not many, of the dumb parts of the SNES, shan't be blamed for it, as those are inherited from the PC version. For example:

    - How everyone thinks the fellowship can solve every problem.

    - Only half a dozen of people live in Cove, and all of them blame their lake got polluted but would do nothing until the avatar arrives and saves the day.

    - How awful some characters' personalities and conversation options are.

    etc

    But of course, one thing that the PC version does much better is at least it have many better things (party members, many good scripted events, better chattings etc) while the SNES apparently left out all of them, and introduces tons of stupid stuff.

    BTW, does the theatre of Britain and the play in it still exist in the SNES version?
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  2. Crowley9 Novice

    Crowley9
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    There's a couple of things wrong with this statement. First, already in Ultima 6 at least Yew and Minoc both had female mayors. Second, Paws is a village, and thus not large enough to have a mayor in any other Ultima game (including the PC version of this).
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  3. Luzur Prestigious Gentleman Good Sir

    Luzur
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    feminism finally got to Britannia.
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  4. Silellak Liturgist

    Silellak
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    I don't think the theatre exists. Most of Britain was gutted in the SNES version, actually.

    It would certainly be interesting to compare the PC version to the SNES and see exactly how much of the stupidity in the SNES version came from the PC. Elizair will eventually be getting to Ultima VII in his Ridiculously Ambitious Ultima Series LP, so maybe that will shine some light.
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  5. Crowley9 Novice

    Crowley9
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    The Cove quest at least was better justified in the PC version. There it is said that the mine in Minoc dumps all their waste into a river there, which flows to the lake. Thus the central government is needed to resolve the issue.
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  6. Silellak Liturgist

    Silellak
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    I thought it was something like that. It makes a lot more sense than WE ARE POLLUTING OUR LAKE AND CAN'T STOP UNTIL SOMEONE TELLS US TO!!! AVATAR HELP!!!!
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  7. Silellak Liturgist

    Silellak
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    Let's Play...the Comments Section of my YouTube Video!

    [​IMG]

    I'm out of town until the end of the week, but hopefully I can do a real update next week sometime. I won't let this die; not after all I've suffered.
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  8. Sceptic Prestigious Gentleman Arcane Patron

    Sceptic
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    Ultima 7 on the PC was 20 gigabytes? Wow, no wonder Origin were going bankrupt because of the price of floppies.

    And the SNES cartridge could hold one whole gigabyte! That's impressive.

    Regardless it would've been funnier if he had thrown a fit of :rage: instead of calmly arguing that the SNES version isn't superior.
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  9. Silellak Liturgist

    Silellak
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    I know! Makes you wonder why they ever switched to the clearly-inferior CD format.

    Though, come to think of it, Nintendo never actually did...
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  10. Sceptic Prestigious Gentleman Arcane Patron

    Sceptic
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    Didn't they switch to those mini-CDs with the Gamecube? Those could hold even less than a full CD.
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  11. Silellak Liturgist

    Silellak
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    Yeah, the Gamecube used its own proprietary disc format. It held more than a CD but less than a DVD, at a time when its two main competitors had both moved on to DVD's.

    Nintendo's never had a CD-based system. The closest they came was trying to develop a CD add-on for the SNES, but that project eventually fell apart and actually helped spawn the first Playstation.
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  12. hanssolo Educated

    hanssolo
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    oh, what might have been....
























    [​IMG]
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  13. Clockwork Knight Arcane

    Clockwork Knight
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    That was incredibly dumb and stubborn of nintendo. Square even tried to make an FF for the N64, but didn't go further than a tech demo ( a battle with 3d Locke, Terra and Shadow).

    Btw, Mother 3 was almost complete (you can find pics on the net) for the N64, but it would use the defunct n64 disk drive.
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  14. Heresiarch Liturgist

    Heresiarch
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    Where's the update, me want

    or did you just give up to the evil
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  15. ecliptic Liturgist

    ecliptic
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    I laughed. Also, you have my respect for making it this far. This is a whopper of a game.
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  16. Silellak Liturgist

    Silellak
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    I've not given up, I'm just really lazy.
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  17. Sceptic Prestigious Gentleman Arcane Patron

    Sceptic
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    Divinity: Original Sin
    or you just really hate this game :smug:
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  18. Clockwork Knight Arcane

    Clockwork Knight
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    Baaaaad Silellak
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  19. Silellak Liturgist

    Silellak
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  20. Silellak Liturgist

    Silellak
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    I am actually working on an update. Here is a spoiler for my loyal readers.

    :rage::rage::rage::rage::rage:
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  21. Silellak Liturgist

    Silellak
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    Part 9: In which we explore the depths of Destard, return to Batlin with for our prize, and acquire a new means of transportation

    That's right, I'm back. At least for now. A quick "fuck you" to everyone reading for encouraging me to continue this travesty.

    So, last time we left off, I was just entering Destard, or some shit. Destard, as those of you familiar with Ultima lore already know, is the dungeon of DRAGONS.

    Destard on the Editable Codex

    But of course, we already killed ONE dragon near Cove. How many will this dungeon have? Let's find out. Together.

    A little exploration of the first room finds that both obvious ways out are through closed portcullises, so there must be some sort of hidden switch somewhere. At least I'm assuming the game has provided for some sort of way out, though such hope at this point is really quite naive.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    Yeah, we're off to a fantastic start. So glad I fired this turd back up.

    Inside a bucket (the only object in the room), I find something called a "Golden Key":
    [​IMG]
    Really? That was the "puzzle"? Search the only fucking object in the room for a key? I hate everyone even remotely involved with the creation of this game. And their families.
    [​IMG]
    Freedom. I admit at this point I was sort of hoping I was trapped in an unescapable room, but alas, the LP continues.
    [​IMG]
    I fight my way through small hordes of rats and bats. Must be food for the dragons.

    Of note is the tileset they chose to use. It implies a "constructed" dungeon, but I'm pretty sure Destard is just a natural cave in the Ultima universe. It should not have walls or bricks or portcullises or any of this shit. But honestly, that's jut nitpicking, especially when there's so much else to harp on. It just bugs the Ultima fanboy inside me, so I had to mention it.

    Anyway. I find another Golden Key, this time in a pot.
    [​IMG]
    Apparently the theme of Destard is no longer "dragons" but instead "stupid portcullis/key puzzles". Fantastic.
    [​IMG]
    It looks like the dungeon is basically just a bunch of small rooms connected through doorways, and those doorways sometimes have a portcullis. Usually regular skeleton keys work, but sometimes I need a Golden Key. It's basically the Britain sewers again, but with occasionally locked doors.

    :thumbsup:

    The things I do for you shits.

    Also, fuck bats. Seriously. They die in one hit, but are annoyingly hard to hit because your weapon animation often goes right past them, they fly away right after hitting - often through walls, like all "flying" creatures can - and perching somewhere you can't actually hit even if you could aim your weapon that way. Maybe they decided to forego the dragons and just fill it with bats because they're so fucking annoying.

    At one point I hear fireballs and get my hopes up, but it turns out just to be those stupid fire traps.
    [​IMG]

    Another fire statue and some switches. A hint at a future switch puzzle? Oh boy.
    [​IMG]
    Not really sure how I'm expected to dodge these endless streams of fire, but I have enough health that it doesn't really matter.

    The Guardian pops up again:
    [​IMG]
    GEE I WONDER IF I SHOULD BELIEVE HIM. Honestly dude, at this point, I'm ready to let you fucking have Britannia. Enjoy solving issues like "we're polluting our own lake heeeeelp" using the POWER OF GOVERNMENT.

    Oh, a magically locked room full of fire traps, with a chest in the middle. Probably the one Batlin sent me for. I wonder what's inside!?
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    :rage: Fucking Batlin. Fuck him and everyone who looks like him. I guess this was a TEST! To test...how obedient I am at following stupid orders, I guess?

    Quest "completed", I make my way for where I assume the exit is. Suddenly, the combat music actually starts, and I face my first dragon-like enemy, a drake!
    [​IMG]
    It's actually a fairly tough fight (mostly because, despite all my armor, it drains almost half my health in a single hit). Luckily, I emerge victorious, though my magic bar is empty. Fortunately, my magic bar is quickly restored with a quick use of Vas Fuk Dis. A regenerating magic bar - how delightfully pop-a-mole! Clearly I don't give this game enough credit; it's actually years ahead of its time.

    You know, the most annoying part about this dungeon is that even going the distance of a single small room is enough to trigger a respawn of all the enemies in it. Imagine all of the filler combat in the DA, then imagine every time you left the screen, all the enemies respawned.

    Gradually, I grind my way through to the room of switches I saw earlier:
    [​IMG]

    I flip them all, because...why the fuck not, really?
    [​IMG]
    One of the middle switches opened a wall out of the room.

    I find one of those "skull" doors that usually indicate an exit.
    [​IMG]
    Freedom!
    [​IMG]
    So wait...that was Destard? THAT was motherfucking DESTARD? Home of the DRAGONS?
    :rage::rage::rage::rage::rage:
    I fought ONE drake. ONE. Or I guess INFINITE DRAKES, if you consider that they respawn just like everything else.
    For reference, here is Destard in Ultima VII PC:

    http://ultima.wikia.com/wiki/Dungeon_Solution_for_Ultima_VII#Destard

    Here's a brief summary for those of you too lazy to click links:
    WOW THEY REALLY NAILED THIS WITH THE CONSOLE PORT. And they didn't even fucking try! There was no reason not to at least use the "cave" tileset and HAVE FUCKING DRAGONS IN THERE. And we KNOW dragons are in the game BECAUSE THEY HAD A FUCKING DRAGON IN THE "SWAMP CAVE" NEAR COVE. Instead of a CAVE OF DRAGONS we get a shitty maze dungeon with fucking rats, bats, ghosts, spiders, and, at the very end, ONE DRAKE. This has nothing to do with TECHNICAL LIMITATIONS and everything to do with the design team JUST NOT GIVING A FUCK.

    I mean seriously guys! You're making an ACTION RPG of a popular PC Fantasy RPG and the MAIN PLOT THREAD requires the player to travel to A CAVE FULL OF DRAGONS. ACTION RPG. FANTASY. CAVE OF DRAGONS. HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO FUCK THAT UP?
    [​IMG]
    Motherfucking lazy ass...sigh, whatever. Time to report to Batlin what I found. Or didn't find, I guess.
    [​IMG]
    Thanks for the clarification, I'd nearly forgotten.
    [​IMG]
    Wait, so I'm complaining to Batlin that I was attacked now? He sent me to a fucking dungeon. Of course I was fucking attacked. I'm always being attacked. Has he ever left Britain? Oh well, at least I get something shiny.
    [​IMG]
    My dream come true. I also ask about the Voices.
    [​IMG]
    That's not creepy at all.

    So, time for the next quest. As you may remember, the gypsy fortune teller in Minoc said we had to find the Time Lord, and to find the Time Lord, we had to find the Wisps, and to find the Wisps, we had to find the Emps:
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    However, we could also follow Elizabeth and Abraham, who, per Batlin, have left for Vesper.
    [​IMG]
    What say you, dear readers? Should I pursue the Elizabeth and Abraham plotline, or make way for Yew?

    Either way, since I'm in Britain, and I have a ridiculous amount of gold, which I know is meaningless anyway, I decide it's time to finally get a ship and see what sailing is like. I am sure it will be just as awful well-implemented as everything else.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    "Here's your boat" and "Magic Boat given". Oh wow. That bodes well. Let's check our inventory.
    [​IMG]
    ...yup, that's a sparkling magical boat. It even has a genuine sparkling animation in the inventory. Awesome. I'm not kidding, either - I think that's so stupid, it actually wraps back around to being awesome again. Let's check this puppy out. Trying to use it indoors gives me the message:
    [​IMG]
    Fair enough. There's a dock just outside.
    [​IMG]
    Okay, on a dock. Let's try again.
    [​IMG]
    Trippy.
    [​IMG]
    Looks just like the map that appears when I cast the teleport spell, except it appears as though I can select any dock in the world. Let's try Paws, since it's close.
    [​IMG]
    Whee! Just like magic. Or a magic boat, maybe.

    You know, the actual mechanics of this doesn't really bother me. I understand they may not have the time or inclination to implement a full-scale boat control scheme, and honestly probably don't have the space on the catridge to contain the entire ocean, anyway. But why the fuck did they have to go the "magic boat" route? Seriously? It would've worked just as well as a regular boat that appeared on whatever dock you had it last and triggered the same map/teleportation process, but I guess they were just dedicated to making this game as stupid as possible. Oh well, at least it means I can now avoid overland travel and the ridiculous amount of filler combat that comes with it.

    Well, that's all for this update. What say you, loyal readers - now that we've joined the Fellowship, do I go to Yew to search for the Emps, the Wisps, and the Time Lord? Or do I follow Elizabeth and Abraham for as long as I can and hope they lead me to the evil pirate murder kidnapper, Hook? Does anyone even care anymore?

    DISCUSS!!
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  22. ecliptic Liturgist

    ecliptic
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    it hurts
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  23. lightbane Liturgist

    lightbane
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    *claps* I'm impressed, your will is stronger than expected, this game really makes you believe everyone hates the avatar and thus you. I say you go with the path that's shorter so that you finish the game as soon as possible before you lost any sanity you still had.
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  24. Unkillable Cat Arcane

    Unkillable Cat
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    Iceland
    it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts
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