Let's Play STRIFE ! (Finished.)

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One of the top... like... four LPs ever.

(Next page*flex*)

Sorry my English.

I'm sure some unbelievers out there thought this LP was over, right?


WOONG ! Dis ain't ovah until we get all de pieces of de Sigil and become supreme senators of de universe !


You said it Arnie ! This ain't over yet. We're back with a vengeance, people. Are you ready Cloud ?


I was born ready.


Blackbird, how about you ?


Let's go kick some ass !


Fucking awesome.









EPISODE XIV : ROOT OF EVIL










But before we leave let's check what our favorite sensei has to say:




Don't worry, no body bag can hold Cloud Strife. But just to make sure let's get some backup armor...




And learn some more worthless rumors from the local barkeep.




Well at least this was a bit more informative than the last time. Ok, time to go !


So... where was it we were heading again ?

Cloud, you forgot? We're heading past the factory, towards a secret lab. We've got intel that unspeakable experiments are taking place there...

Sorry, I'm still a bit hangover from last night. That Acolyte booze can mess you up really good...



Right... Off we go then !



Inside the factory we notice that a previously blocked entrance is now open.




More order fanatics looking for death and more red banners. These will actually show us the way.



:ducks-under-incoming-rockets: :responds-with-own-rockets:




Good, we've raised the bridge. Let's proceed.





Damn, we've become so good, it's a fucking cakewalk. Hmm, I wonder what's behind this door...



Eh? What's this thing ?





***


Postmortem report :




It seems that the only thing that can seriously hurt this asshole is the second mode of the mauler.



Die, robotic abomination !!




Phew... Let's pull this lever...




-THE FUCK, another one !?




Where did he go... Huh? He can FLY? FUUUUUUUU-




God, I hate these bastards.


BB, do we know anything about this thing?

Let me check the manual... The Inquisitor is a gigantic bipedal robot which appears much similar to many different varieties of popular mechs, and to an extent resembles a larger version of the Reaver. It has no visible head, except for a blocky structure where it would be. It is equipped with a rocket booster on its back and its feet, allowing it to fly to get to the enemy.

Any weak spots ?

Other than the fact that he has a weak spot for killing rebels, none that we know. You'll just have to hit it with everything you've got until it's destroyed.

Great, just great.


Ok, we should try to find this "lab". Hmm, a teleporter...



wut?



BUG! The ultimate trap of the the Order. They sent us to phantom zone or something.
TIP: Never enter a teleporter unless you have to.


***


This place is another maze-like structure, but finally we find our way...




This must be the way to the lab. Being vain as hell they marked the place with big banners...


Follow the Banners !




Damn impressive entrance way, but what we're searching is on another level. Head down.


What she means is "head down, straight to a platoon of rabid Crusaders". Thankfully we can cure their disease with some phosphorus grenades.





In case you're wondering , we're on the "proving grounds"...



Local wildlife contains:
Acolytes...



Reavers...



And our good old friends, the Inquisitors!




After a while there's not much wildlife left. Some beasts just don't deserve to live.


Yeah, like those damn chihuahuas !


Cloud has an unhealthy obsession with chihuahuas. Let's continue with the purge...



I have a feeling we're getting closer...



Yep.

I AM THE LOREMASTER. WE ALL SERVE THE ONE GOD, YOU ARE NO EXCEPTION. YOU WILL FALL ON YOUR KNEES IN FRONT OF THE NEW GOD. JOIN ME AND I WILL COMPLETE THE SIGIL !

I'm sick of all this mystical double-talk.

Me too. The sigil is mine to complete. This Loremaster can go on and join his dead buddies.


Before we face him we'd better deal with his troops. Say hello to two more Inquisitors:






Let's see what's behind this door...



An Acolyte assembly area !







Further on we find the Loremaster's assistant:




Why's that ?

Because I told you, he doesn't like visitors !

Yeah well, I don't like him either.

You know, you're about the right size for one of the acolyte's uniforms.





Remember all those Acolytes waiting to be assembled? Well, now they're up and running...



...but not for long...



...we don't need no water let the motherfuckers burn...




Cloud, we must put an end to all this cruelty.

I hear you BB. Let's find this Loremaster...





IGNORANT FOOL. WHATEVER YOU DO, YOU CAN'T ESCAPE YOUR FATE. YOU'LL ALWAYS BE UNDER THE WILL OF THE ONE GOD.

I choose my own fate. Now shut up and die !



He doesn't look like much, but you see this thing in the left? It's a chain that grabs you and throws you around the walls. A couple of hits and you're dead, so we better avoid them.




Surprise, surprise... we destroyed his mortal body and another spectre emerged.




He puts on a good fight, but our sigil is bigger than his.





YEAH! We have assembled the whole thing !




You wield the power of the complete sigil. What do you say we get some closure. Let's see what the Loremaster's been protecting.

I say that I definitely wanna test this baby. Let's find out what lies in the meteor crash site...





What awaits our heroes beyond this passage? Will they finally face this self proclaimed god? I guess we'll find out in the next episode...


***

Epic shit!

Wait, how many Sigil pieces were there anyway?

Also, can't wait for the Epic Ending.

what a tease! MOAR! NOW!

5 sigil pieces. With the Loremaster dead he has them all.

There are 5 sigil pieces. But remember, the power is not in the sigil itself, but in the hand that wields it... (riddle of the Sigil)

Infinity Gauntlet reference is ++good.

IT'S MADE FROM PEOPLE!!!!



We're Borg. You'll be assimilated.

"You know, you're about the right size for one of the acolyte's uniforms."
"You know, you're about to be vaporised."

You may say what you want about how cheesy the writing is in the game but some lines are fantastic.


Just look at the skeleton soon-to-be-an-acolyte sprite. They don't make such cute things these days.

Yep, this is great stuff. I need to see more!

"You know, you're about the right size for one of the acolyte's uniforms."
"You know, you're about to be vaporised."

Well, the vaporized part was actually my line I sometimes use the Talk function (basically for multiplayer) to add some juicy comments.

MOAR!!!

Carnage Interruptus.

This is it, codex. It's time to enter the heart of darkness. It's time to see if gods can be killed...







EPISODE XV : DIVINE VICTIM.











From the looks of it, you need the full Sigil to unlock this puppy.

Good thing we have it then. By the power of the Sigil, I command you to OPEN !

...

...?

Just press the "use" key.

Ah... right.


The way is now open.





Generous supplies can mean only one thing. A hell of a fight is coming up.


:click:



Reavers don't seem to like fire much.




Let's move on...

:THUD!:




Damn, the passage just closed behind us !

There's no going back then. Something tells me we're at the end of the rainbow...


Another door slowly opens and...



...we get a warm welcome.





If you're wondering what this yellow tie-fighter thing is, it's the "targeter". A gadget that supposedly helps you aim better. Next-gen stuff.





Hey, where do you think you're going?




Gotcha.





***







What the hell is this place ?

It looks like a spaceship. It must have crashed along with the comet.

Then what we're dealing with may very well be alien.


No shit. The decoration speaks volumes about the landlord's origin.




Anyway, I think we're about to find out.






" YOU... YOU HAVE CRUSHED MY ORDER, TORN THROUGH MY FORCES AND THREATENED CENTURIES OF DESIRE... BUT I WILL PREVAIL. I WILL INFECT YOU AND TWIST YOU TO MY WILL..."





The egg hatches...




And a big-ass spectre appears...



We better switch to the sigil.



Ugly bastard.




Shit, health at 16 and armor at 7 ? Gotta use a healthpa-





" The new outbreak of the virus hit us like a tidal wave, driving us all mad... We heard the siren's song of death and we danced..."




" This evil drained us of all human life and scornful of procreation, it recycled our families..."





" Then one day, the evil left. There was simply nothing left for it to feed on. We were... extinct. "







***



Extinct ? HELL NO!


(Puts song in armor's mp3 player



If you ain't got the answer
If you don't know the truth
If you want the power
Then let it flow through

Would you let it go
Oh, would you let it go
Oh, would you let it go
Oh, oh, would you let it go...

Show me how the gods kill...



Let's get back and show that alien who's the boss here.


:ZAP:





Damn, not only it can teleport around, but it can also multiply into more spectres.





EAT HOT LIGHTING STORM YOU ALIEN PIECE OF SHIT !




Fuck yeah, it's dead !

Attention, to all troops of the front... He's done it ! It's over ! Cloud Strife has killed the evil, the order is no more !

Damn right I've done it. Just let me get a good pose for the photos...


:click:




I knew you would win, my gallant hero.





Huh? is that Blackbird?


All fighting has stopped. Your victory has allowed us to create a vaccine to purge the virus from our bodies...





That's better, it seems she's a real woman after all...


You have saved our planet and set us free... Now, I'd like to thank you... personally...

:gulp:

Oh, and by the way, the name's... Shannah.

It's great to finally meet you face to face , Shan-:SLURP!?:



:intense-tongue-play:



:unbelievably-intense-tongue-play:



(some off-screen fondling)



Don't these two need to breathe?










Now, that's what I call a good, ass-kickin', tongue-kissin', body-caressin' ending !








...THE END ?

No, don't fret codex. It's not over yet. I'll post one last update that will show you what would have happened if we had sided with the Oracle.

Damn awesome game. I applaud you for taking it to the end.

Man that Sigil looks really dumb. Lamest ultimate weapon since Krul's Glaive.

Blackbird is hot and she immediately face-slobbers you? Best ending ever!

Only, errr, that's a bit pretty big adam's apple "she" has got. OMFG TWIST!

Awesome LP. Please for more.

That's actually the hero's tongue. He's deep-throating her.

Don't trust Blackbird! Trust no one!

I'll post the last update shortly but not in this page. (winkwink)

(nudgenudge)

SAY NO MOAH!