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Let's Play Skyrim: Anders Breivik Victorious

Wyrmlord

Arcane
Joined
Feb 3, 2008
Messages
28,886
Was Andyman Messiah the one who started the Talking Heads in LP trend? Either way, I was not a fan of it in his Final Fantasy LP, because I simply preferred to load additional screenshots than to type out every line of dialogue. I also don't like to break fourth walls by introducing comedic real world characters, because comedy can be a risky thing when you are trying to show a game to be good.
 
Repressed Homosexual
Joined
Mar 29, 2010
Messages
17,867
Location
Ottawa, Can.
Really, basing your Skyrim game around a parody of the actions of a mass-murderer? It seems bold, but also of dubious taste.

I wonder if you're going to be able to carry the gag along until the end.
 

Quilty

Magister
Joined
Apr 11, 2008
Messages
2,406
what the

Haven't you noticed that like 1/3 of all LPs on this forum are dedicated to Hitler? This shit is mild, bro.
 

Andyman Messiah

Mr. Ed-ucated
Joined
Jan 27, 2004
Messages
9,933
Location
Narnia
It's not so much political correctness as good taste. Shit's not funny, bros. I don't mind reading about Hitler's Magical Adventures in Rainbow Kingdom but please make it funny.
 

Andyman Messiah

Mr. Ed-ucated
Joined
Jan 27, 2004
Messages
9,933
Location
Narnia
How would a human swede act exactly? I love Norway. But that has nothing to do with this. As I said, I have a high threshold but it has to be something more than one gag. I mean, this shit isn't even on Colin Farrell & Kiefer Sutherland level.

Also the screenshots are blurry as fuck and the text is hard to read. No stars!
 

Admiral jimbob

gay as all hell
Joined
Sep 29, 2009
Messages
9,225
Location
truck stops and toilet stalls
Wasteland 2
Anders makes his way to Whiterun, where he owns a house and is known and trusted. It was Jarl Balgruuf who named him BROvakhiin and sent him to meet his patron deity, BLOBERT. Though his heart is hardened and he is prepared to go to any lengths to achieve a free Skyrim, Anders' heart twists with anguish at the thought of betraying his friend.


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the fuck


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: I suppose it's time I give him an answer...

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: Proventus, what do you make of all this? If Ulfric were to attack Whiterun...

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: As in all things, Lord, caution... I urge us to wait and see.

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: prey waits.

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: I'm of a mind with Irileth.

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: it's time to act.

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: you plan to march on Windhelm?

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: I'm not a fool, Proventus. I mean it's time to challenge Ulfric to face me as a man, or march his Stormcloaks up to the gates.

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: he'll do no such thing! A dagger in the back is all you can expect!

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: he was rather straightforward with High King Torryg.

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: Torryg? He walked up to the boy and murdered him!

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: that "boy" was High King of Skyrim.

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: I'm not the high king, but neither am I a boy.

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: Well, fuck me!

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: if Ulfric wants to challenge my rule in the old way, then let him. I suspect he'll prefer to send his "Stormcloaks" to do it for him.

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: true. He's already proven his personal strength. Now he seeks to prove his army's.

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: then might I urge you to consider General Tullius' request? I mean, if you are bent on offending Jarl Ulfric... what harm is there in letting a few legionnaires die in place of your own men?

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: It seems cowardly.

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: was it cowardly to accept the White-Gold Concordat and bow to the demands of the Thalmor?

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: who let this bitch into my house? What purpose does she even serve? And why is the homosexual man still standing there? Take your fucking axe back to Ulfric and tell him I don't love him anymore.

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: thank god. I'm coming back here to burn this place down personally now.

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Anders returns to Jarl Ulfric, attempting to collect his scattered brain cells after the immensely stupid conversation he bore unfortunate witness to in the halls of the Jarl of Whiterun. This is what happens when you let an alien into your inner circle, he realises, grimacing at the decadence of the multikult Empire.

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:retarded: : give the word, my lord, and Whiterun is yours.

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: Whiterun is only a means to an end.

:retarded: : that bears absolutely no relevance to anything I said, or anything at all, so I'm just going to ignore it. This seems to be a common thing in these unskippable and unspeakably dull conversations. Anyway... we're ready, Ulfric. Whenever you are.

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: is any man ever ready to give the order that will mean the deaths of many. [sic]

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: yep.

:retarded: : neither is every man able to give that order when he must. But you are that man, Ulfric. You've been that man before, and you'll be him again. And these men and women... they call themselves Stormcloaks because they believe in you. They're the meanest, toughest sons of bitches Skyrim has to offer. And they want this. They want this as much as you do. Perhaps they want it more.

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: I feel like I have to interject here and mention that "meanest, toughest sons of bitches" wasn't a made-up anachronism. He said that. He actually said that part. He... said it, that's all.

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: Whiterun's army will no doubt be bolstered with Legionnaires. And those walls are old, but they still stand.

:retarded: : they're ready. And I might be old myself, but I'll kick those damn walls down with my bare feet! - if you would only ask me to do it!

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: and I'm sure you could do it, too. Alright... this is it. Send the word. "A new day is dawning and the sun rises over Whiterun."


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: BRO DO ME PROUD I BELIEVE IN YOU


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The soldiers just... interrupt the subtitles like this. A lot. For some reason I find it endlessly hilarious. I just kind of imagine this great general being unable to give orders or be heard because his soldiers are all autistic and are screaming incoherently at random intervals.


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And the mighty invading army of six men and a tranny are off!! It's majestic, bros, I shit you not. No, really, this is probably the most NPCs that have ever been on-screen at a time in a Bethesda game. Also, the corpses in this part fade away when they hit the ground. It still lags. New engine, everyone! Really!


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The army of screaming autistic manbabies seems to have met their match. And yes, random Imperial soldiers are just called Generals. They're not any harder to kill. I'm not sure why Generals are on the front lines, but I am beginning to see how the Thalmor won.


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: BROS CHECK IT OUT I LIT A FART

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: BROTASTIC

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His heart alight, Anders easily cleaves his way through the traitorous hordes, opening the gate and allowing the Stormcloaks into the heart of Whiterun. If there are any other Stormcloaks left. I'll be honest, I haven't seen any for a while.


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Anders stealthily rushes through the giant swinging doors with three allies and a huge fucking mace in hand. Apparently.


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Anders smashes the barricade keeping him from Whiterun's central plaza, a stone's throw from the palace of Dragonreach itself. Anders lets loose a warcry, and prays to the King of BROS for his blessing on this fateful day.

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: GO FORTH, BLOBERT ROARED, INTO THE BELLY OF THIS NEW LAND! DRIVE THE WRETCHED FROM THEIR PALACES OF IDLENESS! OBLIGE THEM TO SQUALOR AND TOIL, SO THAT THEY WOULD SEE THEIR BETRAYALS AS THE ALL-SIN AGAINST OUR KIND! GIVE THEM NO QUARTER! SHOW NO KINDNESS! FOR THEY WOULD NOT GIVE NOR SHOW YOU THE SAME!

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: BRO I PEED A LITTLE IN EXCITEMENT

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And the heavens opened with a peal of thunder, and they say lightning lashed the dogfuckers that day.

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The popamole fell away before him, for he was a BRO among men.


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Arm in arm, our hero and his stalwart companion :retarded: mounted the steps of Dragonsreach, cleaving the few remaining foes in twain. Praise be!

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And so the battle is reached.

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No guard is a match for the fury of Anders. He sweeps the villains aside, the winds of change at his back lending weight to his every blow.

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The Jarl stands... a little longer than most. But soon, even he falls before the liberators of Skyrim.

Fuck doing another huge dialogue scene, my arms hurt and I need to study. Have some screenshots.


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:(

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Anders was briefly concerned about just who he had enthroned, but is assured that Vignar is, despite appearances, as Aryan as Ulfric himself.


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: that... that's not how that works. You're a prisoner, right? Aren't you? Why are we just letting him go? Will someone please explain?

Anders' pleas fall on deaf ears, as he remembers too late that his allies are functionally retarded. Sighing, he returns to Windhelm, and Balgruuf wanders off to sulk in bed or something.


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: We'll call you Ice-Veins now, for the thick blood of our land has seeped into your heart.

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: here, take this. It's an Imperial officer's sword, fit to use against our enemy.

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: thank you for the weapon inferior to the one I'm using. What's our next move?

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: I suspect you'll be of greater use to us with greater freedom, so you're free to engage the Imperials as you see fit.

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: so by freedom you mean I can keep doing other stuff and my actual missions will be as linear as ever.

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: right. Had you going for a second, huh? Find our hidden camp in Falkreath. Galmar will have special tasks for you, and will need you when we liberate the capital. Talos guide you.


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Soon, our glorious patron will be as revered across the land as he deserves. A great blow in the name of Andersianism has been struck today.



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Can Anders put aside his righteous fury in order to attempt a stealth mission? Fort Neugrad, the heart of Falkreath hold... its taking will bring us within the reach of the heart of the Empire in Skyrim, the decadent fortress city of Solitude. The way will be long and hard dull, but Anders smells victory on the horizon.
 
Joined
Apr 18, 2009
Messages
8,268
Location
Gritville
Andyman Messiah said:
How would a human swede act exactly? I love Norway. But that has nothing to do with this. As I said, I have a high threshold but it has to be something more than one gag. I mean, this shit isn't even on Colin Farrell & Kiefer Sutherland level.

Also the screenshots are blurry as fuck and the text is hard to read. No stars!

I'm sure that Luzur would agree that Norwegians suck and any true son of Skyri- Sweden would agree!

:rpgcodex:
 

Luzur

Good Sir
Joined
Feb 12, 2009
Messages
41,392
Location
Swedish Empire
Stereotypical Villain said:
Andyman Messiah said:
How would a human swede act exactly? I love Norway. But that has nothing to do with this. As I said, I have a high threshold but it has to be something more than one gag. I mean, this shit isn't even on Colin Farrell & Kiefer Sutherland level.

Also the screenshots are blurry as fuck and the text is hard to read. No stars!

I'm sure that Luzur would agree that Norwegians suck and any true son of Skyri- Sweden would agree!

:rpgcodex:

Norwegians is ok in my book + easier to understand then those fudgechewing danes.
 

Wyrmlord

Arcane
Joined
Feb 3, 2008
Messages
28,886
Okay, I am firmly avoiding the main quest once I finally play Skyrim, although that was already my decision after Shivering Isles.
 

Darth Roxor

Royal Dongsmith
Staff Member
Joined
May 29, 2008
Messages
1,878,406
Location
Djibouti
I see Bethesda is still keeping the policy of grand armies of 7 people, just like with the battle at the super oblivion gate.
 

Admiral jimbob

gay as all hell
Joined
Sep 29, 2009
Messages
9,225
Location
truck stops and toilet stalls
Wasteland 2
Wyrmlord said:
Okay, I am firmly avoiding the main quest once I finally play Skyrim, although that was already my decision after Shivering Isles.
This isn't the Main Quest. The Main Quest is for the most part far worse and mostly involve fighting fixed dragons and listening to men with beards come up with Deus Ex Machinas and tell you how special you are.
 

Azael

Magister
Joined
Dec 6, 2002
Messages
4,405
Location
Multikult Central South
Wasteland 2
Luzur said:
Norwegians is ok in my book + easier to understand then those fudgechewing danes.

True, I live in Malmö these days and still find it hard to understand the fuckers.

Skyrim looks so damn derpy, a true successor to Oblivion indeed.
 

Admiral jimbob

gay as all hell
Joined
Sep 29, 2009
Messages
9,225
Location
truck stops and toilet stalls
Wasteland 2
MOTHERFUCKER :x

Did half the "liberate Skyrim" quests - mostly a succession of hacking through castles and so on - only to discover that FRAPS... turned itself off two screenshots in. Fuckstain McRimbum.

Needless to say, I have no saves.

You won't be missing much - one semi-interesting quest involving sneaking into a castle prison and freeing the prisoners to attack from the inside - but I'm not just skipping a huge chunk of content. Let me think. LET ME THINK
 

Darth Roxor

Royal Dongsmith
Staff Member
Joined
May 29, 2008
Messages
1,878,406
Location
Djibouti
Obviously, you need to do the whole new update in Gmod :M
 

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