Anime Let's Unbox Boxes in Wasteland 2! (The End)

[RK47]

Spoiler

Zhang Jiao (Codexian Name: 人类已经上升) was a wizard with strange powers - such as the ability to heal illness with magic talismans - and thus he came to be loved by many people.

His following continued to grow, and eventually he decided it was his duty to save the people from the corruption of the imperial government. All across the land, people began to shout, "The time of the Han has ended! Long live the Yellow Turbans!"

Our hero, Shi Difen (Codexian Name: 四十七)

is busy lazing around with a nice weekly free doujin in Luo Yang when suddenly...

Later, in his company conference room (it's actually the palace lah)...

This event, which later became known as the "Yellow Turban Rebellion," brought great change to the land. In the face of this rebellion, a new generation of heroes rose up to answer the call to battle.

Later that very day...

OK lah, coming, coming.

Zzzz, so boring. *reads another chapter of 'Ravages of Time'*

As if it's that easy to do. *flips to another page*

Sweet. *closes book* Time to eat chicken chop for lunch then browse RPGCodex.

(Fuck lah.) What, boss? You want kopi izzit?

Okay lah, I go do Tech Support lah.

Boss usually give me a small budget of 100 to cover the cost. So cheapskate. The rest have to come out of my own pocket. Pui!

Eh, one month do can already lah.

One month later...

This new printer is a bit slow, but can lah. The ink cheaper.

Time to go home and troll RPGCodex...

Later...

Mom, what's for dinne- eh we have a guest?

(Why the hell is this guy biting on a piece of paper? Oh shi- it's that a talisman?!)

Uh... please don't kill me. OK, OK I'll go.

(What the shit...)

What should Shi Difen do?

 

[treave]

苍天已死,黄天当立!

 

[RK47]

苍天已死,黄天当立!

Heaven is dead, yellow days when the legislature!

wat cock you talking sia

 

[WhiteGuts]

The nigga is holding off some intel. Do not conspire.

 

[Scroo]

I say conspire with the yellow turbans!

 

[treave]

苍天已死,黄天当立!

Heaven is dead, yellow days when the legislature!

wat cock you talking sia

It's actually this:

"The time of the Han has ended! Long live the Yellow Turbans!"

That's the well-known rallying cry, though more literally it means that the Blue Sky (Heaven, Han dynasty) is dead, the Yellow Sky (Turbans) will rise. Probably. I'm no alkeides.

It is Shi Difen's destiny to become Chinese Jesus and lead the Yellow Turbans to victory, so conspire away.

 

[laclongquan]

This is... unexpected.

But to drop my long term corporate career to jump ship to a risky start-up? No wai~

Punt this bugger back out of city!

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

(Waaa...die liao. )

Regaining his composure after fapping to sexy Japanese massage 26.avi, Difen reports to his office the next day.

Act natural, Steve...

OI GOOD MORNING BOSS GOOD TO SEE YOU LAH!

Morning, the job. How?

Oh, Ok. Good, good. You okay or not?

Fine, boss. Why?

You look so pale and tired. You diabetic is it? Do more exercise lah.

(Fuck lah. You should stop smoking too, asshole.) OK Boss. Bye.

Eh, wait!

W-what, Boss?!

Waaa... thanks, Boss. I will work harder.

OK, you now earn $50 more a month. With that out of the way...pick your next assignment.

Uh... donate money?

OK, good. Take this envelope full of money and go. Careful, don't get robbed.

Wah. Really full of money. There's $1000 inside... If I join Yellow Turbans now...

Our hero composes himself before returning home for the day...

(Shit, someone's at the door again. Is that one of Zhang Bao's goons keeping an eye of me?)

Oi, son!

Wah, pa! Long time no see! How come you are here?

Ahaha... how's mom?

You know your mom lah...how's work?

It's fine...

Everything OK? Money enough?

Yeah.

Time passes...

Eh.. pa?

What, son?

I thinking of changing job of late.

Aiyoh. Why like that? Your boss is nice to you leh. Sometimes he come visit our home when in our city. Stay overnight chit chat, bring goodies back for you.

C'mon lah, pa...

He is my good friend lah, son. Help him lah.

Uh... ok. Bye, then.

Our hero, heart in turmoil, didn't leave city to deliver the donation. The envelope, full of money is still on his desk.
It sat there for months...

What was he doing at that time? Part time courses lah...

Until that fateful day...

Ugh. Sian lah... go home first. Apologize to him.

Later...

(Fucking someone at the apartment door again...)

Oh shi- I mean, hi mom!

Aiyoh, Difen.. so long never call mommy. How come? Where your filial piety?

C'mon lah, ma... I just met pa a few months ago.

See lah. My sisters sons and daughters are so filial, give their parents money for holiday overseas. My own son? Never even call! Hmph!

Aiyoh...ma. I busy at work lah.

Mommy hear from your pa.. you wanna quit your job ah?

Yeah...why?

Son, if it's a good job - you should take it.

Oh?

But make sure it pays better than your old job! Don't take lousier job!

Oh... I see.

How? You go steady with any girls yet?

Ugh. Mom, it's getting late. I got work tomorrow. Talk next time, OK?

Hmph. Take care, son. Bye.

Bye, mom.

The next day...

Boss. Sorry, I got distracted by part time course, that's why... I forgot to bring the envelope...

So.. I give you back the envelope ah... the money is still there, count it.

No need, I know your father. I trust you.

Ugh. Okay.

Steve, I got headache. Make me coffee.

Ok. (Fuck, finish that course, and leave this guy for good!)

The following month...

Yes! I'm getting better!

Eh!?

Steve, you late again, eh?

Not my fault lah, the horse cart-

Then wake up earlier lah!

Ugh. OK...

(I don't wanna hear the rest of this shit ass company meeting!)

(Fuck you lah.)

Steve!

What?

Oi! That's the Yellow Turban's stronghold isn't it?!

Yes, wanna go?

(...yes. This is my chance!)

Our hero rides out of Luo Yang with his benefactor...
What will happen in Xu Chang?
Stay tuned...

 

[laclongquan]

Hey! If you want to make it big, stay then stab him in the back later. Get better recompensation too! Jumpship to that leaky startup, they crash and burn next month and there goes your career: straight down the toilet!

 

[abnaxus]

LOO BOO

 

[treave]

Yuan Shao is that asslicking overachiever nobody likes.

 

[RK47]

 

[laclongquan]

Let's hope your signing bonus is significant!

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

Hey, they even set me up with an apartment. Nice! I think it's time we get down to business!

Inspired by his new-found freedom, Difen rushes to his office to propose a counter-attack!

But, boss-

Eh, you newbie, I got no job for you now - why don't you go help out the people instead. Find some part time work while I find something? Check the tavern.

Ugh... OK lah. (Way to dampen my enthusiasm. Sheesh!)

Our hero turns to the innkeeper to check for any job postings.

Wah, uncle! Come on lah - I'm better than that.

Sorry lah, boy. You not well-known, so all I can give are these jobs. Maybe you help many people then uncle will spread the word about you - find better job, eh?

Ugh. Fine.

Later, at the market...

Somehow I miss my old office work already.

Eh, no talking! Get to work!

A few days into work...

Fucking finally! Fuck this job in the ass!

Too bad. Cya!

How can like that?!

Sorry lah, I got more important things to do for the Prefect. Bye!

What's the assignment, Mr Zhang?

No problem.

Anything else? Or do we start killing with these guys already?

Not yet lah. Difen, you got any family? Brother? Cousins?

Eh, it's just me, my mother and father...

Uhhhh...

Something wrong, brother? You scared bring parents to Yellow Turbans? Your heart not deep deep in the cause?

...No, boss. I'll bring my mother to our cause.

Good lah. Faster come back hor, we need officers badly to lead our righteous cause.

Okay, boss.

Our hero makes a brave, lonesome trip to the city of Han Zhong, where his mother currently resides...

Thank goodness this city is still neutral, else the guards might arrest me!

Ma! Are you there?

My, my! This is very unusual! My son came to visit me! I must buy lottery tonight! Lucky number: 47!

Mom, no time for that. Listen.

Wah, you look so serious. Wait- don't tell me- you getting married is it?!

MOM! LISTEN!

Haaa? Go with you to Xu Chang? I don't understand - why?

My boss want to meet you lah.

Oh, you change your job finally?! Wow! How? Got any pretty girl to date?

Mom! Are you coming or not?

Wait, let me think - your father not here with me lah. Maybe wait he come back?

No! Listen!

Let me convince you!

 

[laclongquan]

Oh Great~ Now the new boss want you to go headhunting too...

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

Thanks, ma! Come I help you pack up!

Wait lah! I go hairdresser first! Must look presentable in front of your boss lah! You also, go cut your hair!

Ugh...

Days later...

Well done, brother!

Any more job to do?

Can, can.

Got anything else?

Maybe, this one can be dangerous. You like spying?

Where?

Chen Liu. He Jin's city. Find out what you can, troops, food stockpile, defenses. And report back to me. Don't get caught.

Okay.

A few days journey later...

Gah. I don't wanna fight with this guy...

When I was young, my father showed me how to deal with corrupt authorities. Two hundred would be sufficient.

Thanks, dad. (Even though that bribe money came out from my own pocket. Bah!)

A few days passes...

Oh? Dian Wei. He is available for employment? Let's find out!

Bah. What a missed opportunity! (I only have one chance to recruit a talent when not under assignment, what a shame!)

Difen returns without any incident...

Boss, I missed out on recruiting a talented officer in Chen Liu. Apologies...

Wah, it's alright - that wasn't your assignment in the first place. Good to know you have initiative. How about this?

My father?

Aye! I hear he's in the city right now.

I'll return with him by my side!

Later at the tavern...

There he is!

Eh, Pa!

Me too, Pa.

Ha? Here I am trying to get you to reconsider. Your previous boss call me a lot of times you know...

Aiyah, ignore him lah.

Son, we play badminton regularly lah when we were younger. He is a good friend. In business, relations is important. Someday, you will understand...

Well, maybe I have! Ma is already here. I want you to join us too!

Son, I see you now, I think you still haven't changed much.

What do you mean?

You're all talk. What achievements have you accomplished so far?

Why do you speak like Ma all of the sudden?

I worry, maybe you did not think this through. You were always the spontaneous sort, but falter when it's time to commit...

Hell! I never made any choice when I was young! You told me to study overseas, I go! You told me to work for your friend, I go! Now I want to do things my own way, you say I must not!

Remember the pet chick you brought home from school when you were seven?

What-

Your mom was furious, I said nothing. You said you'd take care of it since you bought it with your pocket money.

I don't remember.

It was noon, after school I remember it clearly- you placed the chick on the front yard. Moments later, a stray cat came. What did you do?

I didn't...

Yes. You simply stood there in fear. Said not a word. The cat simply picked up the poor chick and ran off with it.

I was young!

Well, now you sound the same as you were back then. You promised to commit, but will you really do so when the pressure is on?

Dad.

Son?

Let's talk.

 

[Monstrous Bat]

Just wanted to drop some images

 

[RK47]

Ugh that coloring. Wtf. That looks terribad. I recall reading many Tony Wong's works in my early days and it didn't look that bad.

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

Thanks, dad. You won't regret it!

Year 186
A new year arrives and the beleagured Han Dynasty is locked in a deadly stalemate with the Yellow Turban forces. It was most unexpected - many thought the revolt would take merely months to quell.* Instead, it grew stronger year after year.

*Historically, the rebellion ended earlier.

Wiki:
For the next several months, the core of the campaign was the fighting in and around Wan, until the place was finally stormed and the defenders massacred in the 11th month, at the beginning of 185. The capture of Wan was the last great defeat of the rebels. Their forces in the North China Plain had been destroyed in the field by the imperial armies during the summer, their strongholds were besieged and captured, and the three Zhang brothers were dead.

Everywhere chaos continue to fester throughout the land as warlords seize power and control each territory in the name of 'maintaining law and order.' Taxes were collected, but none were paid to the Emperor. Hidden agendas were abound and many ambitious plans were set in motion.

The people suffered much for it. But it was only the beginning.

Year 186 Month 1 Day 27

A true warrior. If he joins us, we will be almost unstoppable!

The journey to Xiahou Dun is not an easy one.

The roads, unsafe and plagued with bandits prey on lone travelers.

I'm not taking any risk here. If I fight him and lose, he'll take everything in my wallet...

Bah.

As our hero rode across the plains he came across another traveler who witnessed the whole incident.

Yeah, I guess 300 gold is just nice.

Finally, he arrived in Xin Ye early next month.

Master Dun!

Tsk. Perhaps I was being too direct.

Clearly you are.

Not wanting to give up, Difen stayed in Xin Ye for days, approaching the legendary warrior daily, trying to get to know him better and convince him of the righteousness of the Yellow Turban's cause.

You claim to stand on the side of justice?

Master Dun should be familiar with the corrupt officials of the Han. Guards loiter within walls while bandits lie rampant outside the gates.

Mmm, you have a point there.

Yes, I was robbed on my journey here.

A pity I was not there to teach that cretin a lesson.

Exactly! Master, that is why we should work together for a common cause. With your leadership, our army shall maintain order and deliver swift justice!

Ah, you are too generous, Mister Shi.

They meet almost daily in the tavern.

Master Dun, your presence alone would inspire soldiers to fight harder. Thousands would gladly march at your command and stand in awe of your valor.

Friend, I do not doubt you at all.

Then since there is no doubt -

Let us return to Xu Chang, Comrade.

Master Shi is too generous, I, Xiahou Dun, will strive to protect the innocent and the weak from corrupt officials!

 

[abnaxus]

 

[Elfberserker]

The source of that Gif...I must have it.
Anyway LOOOOOONG live the Yellow turbans and Down with the Han!

Hurray for our random chinese bard!!!

 

[RK47]

The source of that Gif...I must have it.
Anyway LOOOOOONG live the Yellow turbans and Down with the Han!

Hurray for our random chinese bard!!!

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=three kingdoms

also

 

[RK47]

Year 186 Month 2

Spoiler

Milord, I think there are three keys to winning this war.

Oh? Do tell.

First, territory. The people are our source of manpower, without the people we cannot collect taxes and muster soldiers on the field.

Yes, we hold five cities, currently under constant attacks by He Jin's forces and other minor loyalists. Losing one would be a terrible blow to our cause.

Indeed, second is infrastructure. A city's domestic needs must constantly be attended to. Its agriculture, economy, technology and public order must never fall short.

Aye, that is why I employ many civic officers like you.

Yes, every city has limited garrison capacity, only with higher technology we can expand our garrison, allowing us to push larger numbers out onto the field while leaving ample defenders. Farming and trade too can never fall behind to pay for the soldiers' upkeep and feeding.

You speak the truth - even warlords are helpless without a developed city to back their ambitions.

And the third, is the most important: talent.

Mmmm.

From now on, milord will see less of me in Xu Chang. I will travel more, seeking out officers both mighty and crafty to lead our cause. He Jin's officers are a cut above ours at the moment both in and off the field.

Why! You've certainly given enough thought to this matter, Difen.

Hence. Off I go to recruit Master Yan Yu.

Go. And may the Heavens shine your path.

As do yours, Master Zhang.

No less than seventeen days will be needed to travel to Cheng Du, in the southwestern region of China.

Unfortunately, Yan Yu has left the city upon my arrival! Such is the risk of undertaking long journeys.

I shall follow his trails to Tian Shui, a little north from here.

The trip was worth it, Master Yan Yu needed little persuasion.

Year 186 Month 4
The journey home was filled with dread as news spoke of natural disaster in Xu Chang.

Harvest ruined and defenses weakened. Nothing can come of this.
But I shall soldier on, upon returning to Xu Chang, I undertake another mission to recruit another to our cause.

Cheng Yu is a brilliant scholar. If I don't snap him up soon, he might end up serving the wrong side.

A casual search in the same city found me another candidate.

Though not as talented, every man counts.

While a few would require some convincing.

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

Certainly, Master Yan Yu. Our exhaustive debates was a pleasure.

You may notice that near the end of the debate video, I was told that I qualify for the 'Fault' skill. This is one of the debating 'Special Move' you can learn once the pre-requisites are met. How do you learn this skill? We have to find and befriend someone who knows it. I'll keep that in mind when I meet any random scholars in my journey.

More good news in the central plains.

The tide is certainly turning. If the loyalists take too long, the Yellow Turbans would certainly have fortified their defenses and swayed more to their cause. It's an interesting dynamic that I've not considered in my first few trial runs a week ago. Had I rushed into active military participation instead of recruiting talented officers, we would've ended up in a string of losing battles where our inferior officers are beaten in the field, while the cities stay undeveloped and poorly defended. Or worse, captured in battles.

Even with our recent victories, we are still having trouble when defending newly captured cities just like Ping Yuan.

A newly-captured city needs prompt reinforcements to hold, not to mention the gates are practically destroyed in the aftermath of the siege. The longer the party who lost the city delay the counter-attack, the more likely the new owners will keep the city. But counter attacks by the loyalists are more common, especially when the loyalists can take turns capitalizing on each other's botched offenses.

For example, if He Jin sent a 100k strong army and we fended them off in the siege - we might still have to deal with another 70k from Sun Jian. Even once we beat that off, we might have to deal with Liu Bei's 50k. This is a typical opportunism that plagues the 'loyalist coalition' back in the day.

Remember, they're just hungry for glory, what better way to profit than minimizing your losses and capitalizing from your rival's failure? After all, success is commemorated while failures are merely remembered.

This back and forth goes on, but honestly, I'm just happy Xu Chang, my hometown is developing nicely.

Yes, the farm is still in bad shape (401/1500) but at least Order is maintained (85/100) and income from taxes is sufficient for our liege to buy food to cover the shortage. And our garrison is full. (100k/100k). Our main priority is to get tech level in Xu Chang to max, and eventually expand into a Large City, therefore increasing the garrison by another 50k.

Year 187 Month 1 Day 1

The Yellow Turbans are here to stay. Four cities remain under their banner in the central plains. He Jin is starting to lose battles at regular frequency. Many scholars of Han struggle to understand how things could've turned so quickly.

Fierce generals such as Xiahou Dun and Dian Wei lead military campaigns, while behind the scene, major talents were drawn towards the cause.

Think nothing of it, Lord Zhang.

Xu Chang's gold and food stockpile is excellent. We're primed for a tech expansion.

Everyone nods in agreement.

Difen. What's your next objective?

I've got a big catch to make, Master. It's time to bring Hua Xiong into the fold. Does my lord still remember him?

Do it!

It took Difen more than a month of journey and exhaustive meetings to finally convince the warrior to join.

The journey home feels lighter with such success in hand...

And right on cue....

Just take the money and go. (Damn, I'm never gonna be rich with this kind of travel risks.)

 

[RK47]

Year 187 Month 6

Spoiler

More good news as Tian Feng, a talented scholar joins our cause.
And as planned, I shall focus on improving Xu Chang's technology.

And I've also recruited another talented officer.

As I return to Xu Chang to continue my work at the forge, a familiar figure greeted me.

Ma? I didn't expect to meet you here...

Aiyah, every time I go to your apartment, you are never home. Why, Difen? So busy until not time to see mommy?

Ma, this time of the year is very important for us lah...

Yah, I know lah. Your boss got call me leh, say my son doing good job.

Wow. Finally proud of me, huh?

Oh, shush! I always know my son is good enough, he just doesn't have the ambition! Come, mommy help you with work! Just tell boss everything you do yourself, OK!

Errr... okay. Thanks, ma.

I was reminded back when I was young... there was this paper flower handicraft that I could not recreate. I tried many times, but the paper would not fold as I wanted it. I was resigned to just handing over nothing to my teacher. The very next day, when I awake, I found three paper flowers folded neatly by my breakfast. She knows. I thanked her for it and handed my assignment to my teacher.

She didn't believe it.
Of course. She is not that foolish.
I was the fool.
I spent an hour trying to fold a single flower in front of her.
When the bell rang I told her the truth.
She picked the well-made flowers, and with a scorn in her eyes, she tore them apart.
I cried.
I never told mother the truth.

*CLANG*

Now I'm back in the present, just hammering the metal in front of me, imagining my teacher's face on the anvil.

*CLANG*

Bitch.

I cursed her to die a horrible death when I graduated. I was petty then, and still am now. I didn't care. No adult should treat another's child so badly.

*CLANG*

Die.

Difen? Why do you look so sad?

No, it's just the heat from the forge. Thanks for everything, Ma. I really mean it.

Here take a towel, wipe the sweat. Difen, later I make you tea to cool down, OK?

Yes.

Year 188 arrives...

I didn't make first honor this time, but it's alright.

With colleagues like these, our force will grow stronger.
Soon. Very soon, we'll storm Luo Yang and evict He Jin and depose the Emperor.

With the meeting concluded I promise Master Zhang I will report back once the city's ready for expansion.

When suddenly...

Impossible.

Is this truly Heaven's intent to take away our Lord when our schemes are beginning to bear fruit?

I cannot say for sure.

I'll just have to deal with it.