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Completed Let's Play Medieval: Total War - and win without having any wars - Strategic Map Use Expert Edition

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IncendiaryDevice

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7,407
Turns 119-130

Turn 119:

This is my Grand Inquisitor. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My Grand Inquisitor is my best friend. They are my life. I must master them as they must master my life. IMO the Grand Inquisitor is the most powerful weapon in the game, they have many uses, but lets see what I can do with them:

MTW119Gsicilyunits_zpsxgvjhvlg.png


MTW119Fmaltaunits_zpsovto0pet.png


Sardinia and any other ready territories can take over boat building while they prepare for GIs, the boats they will be producing will be the new Firegalleys:

MTW119Hsardiniaboats_zps20ng0fwl.png


Naples now has access to better units as well and should start upgrading immediately:

MTW119Inaplessoldiers_zps95w4visb.png


Turn 120:

This is a particularly nasty trait which hacks away loyalty, a very important stat. Luckily, in this case, it is offset by other traits:

MTW120Agovenortraits_zpsrse6glpj.png


Turn 121:

I'm not sure where to send my GIs first, normally I start in Africa, sooo, let's aim for Scotland, why not:

MTW121Agrandiqstoscotland_zpsf2ozxezm.png


And let's check Northumbia's taxes prior to their arrival:

MTW121Bnorthumbriataxes_zps6xyway4q.png


Turn 122:

And now after:

MTW122Anorthumbriataxes_zpsj8wwxtc8.png


Their unit fled, hmmm, difficult to say if they had any impact.

Oh well, onwards:

MTW122Bgrandiqstoscotland_zpsdqor3nrl.png


Turn 123:

Some more are ready already, awesome:

MTW123Amovegrandiqs_zpsqm0azzhp.png


Naples can now upgrade to the good Swordsmen:

MTW123Bnaplessoldiers_zpsu9tbcusl.png


Turn 124:

I've changed my mind, I'm sending them to... Portugal:

MTW124Agiqstoportugal_zpsghhanwsi.png


Turn 125:

Best king trait everrrrrrrrrr, well, nearly, wouldn't say no:

MTW125Akingtraits_zps3gvg3ikb.png


Looking good there guys, keep up the good work:

MTW125Bgiqsinportugaltaxes_zpsczf2pqee.png


Naples can now build Royal Knights with gorgeous white attire, gotta have one of those, and time for an upgrade to the militia building:

MTW125Dnaplessoldiers_zpsqq9gjwcl.png


MTW125Cnaplesbuild_zps02zcyty6.png


Turn 126:

Wow, those guys are really stepping up the carnage there, I bet the population ain't too happy about that:

MTW126Ainquisdeaths_zpsoobnlip1.png


MTW126Bportugaltaxes_zpszeekh0to.png


Turn 127:

I think this guy needs disposing of. Where are my regular Inquisitors when I need them:

MTW127Ainquisstats_zpsu8li2tml.png


Turn 128:

Fuck me...

MTW128Aportugaliqusdeaths_zps8mv2veor.png


And oh fuck says the Frenchy (though this is likely just lucky coincidence):

MTW128Bfrenchcollapse_zpsskilzubn.png


Emissaries!

MTW128Cmoveemissaries_zpsom40loaf.png


Turn 129:

Fuck me...

MTW129Aaragonesereappear_zpsrzkgxjjt.png


MTW129Benglishreappear_zpswgogb6xu.png


Turn 130:

Holey mother of mercy:

MTW130Aportugalrebellion_zpskjiutbcz.png


MTW130Bportugaltaxes_zpsnfvzgzca.png


You read that right, even with two good stacks they have zero, read it, zero happiness on very low taxation and... they're fucking rebelling...

I'm so lustful for Castile that I can't even be bothered to wait for the bribe:

MTW130Ctroopstocastile_zpscbocqsn4.png


More Emissaries please!

MTW130Dnorwayunits_zps9afqebi4.png


Are we gettin' good yet? Are we? Are we really? ohhhh, it's only just gettin' started....
 
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IncendiaryDevice

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7,407
Turns 131-140

Turn 131:

The rebels retreated... good... good...

MTW131Arebelsretreated_zps4agnohui.png


Rebelling again guys? Good... good...

MTW131Bportugalrebellion_zpsgcsnjffp.png


And Naples can build these very smart splicers of the finest order:

MTW131Cnaplessoldiers_zpsfspwzn97.png


Turn 132:

Aaaaaaaand... Portugal's gone:

MTW132Aportugalgone_zpseiy8rnky.png


And so have my GIs:

MTW132Bmoveinquisitorsandbribe_zpsrvgqhbzs.png


MTW132Cleontaxes_zpsnul2jwul.png


Turn 133:

Nice... very nice...

MTW133B8stargeneral_zpspaxwqrx1.png


Hmmm, maybe I need just a couple more GIs...

MTW133Aleontaxes_zpswdextqvy.png


Turn 134:

Yup, that did the trick... Fuck me, Frenchy's dead already, I could've sworn he was winning a minute ago...

MTW134Abribeandmove_zps4i1q2ohq.png


Turn 135:

Happy bribing!

MTW135Aleonbriberesult_zpsgl75cwta.png


Fucking crusaders, fuck them, I'll go somewhere else:

MTW135Binquismove_zps7lx0ej9f.png


And start a second stack of GI doom:

MTW135Cinquisnewmove_zpsapvrow5a.png


Turn 136:

Gafaw gafaw gafaw

MTW136Aaragontaxesandinquismove_zpsn3xqzikm.png


But back to business, the crusade's finished:

MTW136Binquismove_zpsuglpnuld.png


How nice the oceans are with less clutter:

MTW136Cclearshipping_zpsikkxlyt1.png


Turn 137:

Bwahahhahahaha

MTW137Avalenciataxation_zpsrcmytg5v.png


Oops better check those heirs, what with all this excitement it's easy to forget:

MTW137Bcheckprinces_zpsqxz4g8nx.png


Turn 138:

Bloody hell, mate...

MTW138Achaosinvalencia_zps087yo9zc.png


Ooooh, I'm just building any old shit in Sicily now. Might as well get the Armour up:

MTW138Bsicilybuild_zpsbqhzb8ru.png


Turn 139:

There's no escape my good friends:

MTW139Avalenciarebels_zps1i6bkk1v.png


Turn 140:

Now, this is where I make a mistake in Valencia. This mistake will backfire on me later, but more of that later, for now, let's just enjoy watching these guys slaughter each other:

MTW140Bvalenciarebels_zpsrb1dtxp7.png


That's nice to know:

MTW140Alargestarmy_zpsittwi9fi.png


I'm lovin' it, da-da-da-da-daaa...
 
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IncendiaryDevice

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Messages
7,407
Turns 141-160

Turn 141:

Getting there...

MTW141Avalenciarebels_zpsl0i7vz72.png


Turn 142:

Slowly but surely:

MTW142Avalenciarebels_zps2i07bmwl.png


Turn 143:

Any minute now...

MTW143Avalenciarebels_zpsd9zs0dnr.png


Turn 144:

Well really...

MTW144Avalenciarebels_zpsracfv2gn.png


Turn 145:

Oh good heavens:

MTW145Bvalenciarebels_zpswf7sil9x.png


Fuck me...

MTW145Agoldenhorde_zpsaa5zctw9.png


Turn 146:

I feel like I'm doing something wrong here...

MTW146Avalenciarebels_zpsl4mo16tv.png


Turn 147:

Definitely forgotten something...

MTW147Avalenciarebels_zpsfsfkv5y3.png


Turn 148:

What was it now, let me think:

MTW148Avalenciarebels_zps4rrf0o5a.png


Turn 149:

Hmmmmm

MTW149Avalenciarebels_zpspmvnlekx.png


Oh well, whatever it was I'm sure it'll come back to me, Ooo look Aragon's gone under:

MTW149Baragontaxation_zpspfq27u9n.png


Turn 150:

Roflolostompinglawl

MTW150Avalenciaaragonrebels_zps6gqepxaj.png


Turn 151:

It's nice here by the coast:

MTW151Avalenciaaragonrebels_zpsno6shi8g.png


Turn 152:

Well thank fuck for that:

MTW152Avalenciafinallygoes_zpstrwrdwne.png


Time to move on:

MTW152Bmoveinquisitors_zpsmlp7gs1m.png


And time to establish a third stack of GI doom:

MTW152Cinquisitorstoegypt_zpsa3hxpvcw.png


Turn 153:

Ah fuck, this is a real pain and another bug-out in the game. We now have German's rebelling against the rebels. Some might find this amusing... but it's a bitch to work around:

MTW153Agermansrebel_zpsswr1uvel.png


Turn 154:

Not to worry, it's not too bad this time, we might not need to worry about it here:

MTW154Brebels_zpsipuveesn.png


Nice take-down my good man, all the stars go to you this month:

MTW154Atakedowngeneral_zpsqqqpwh6d.png


Turn 155:

Ah, yes, of course, that's what I forgot, to help speed the rebels to victory I need to keep hacking out the AIs generals, dammit, I got too excited earlier. Dammit dammit dammit:

MTW155Ainquisitating_zpsfjlc3ud8.png


Anyway, back to gafawing:

MTW154Brebels_zpsipuveesn.png


Turn 156:

Yawn... how's that money looking:

MTW156Amoney_zps3rdgqph3.png


Turn 157:

Oooo, Morocco's ready... at last!

MTW157Amoroccounits_zpsqpenmbj4.png


Turn 158:

As are Algeria and Sardinia. Hehe, we were just getting warmed up all this time, hehehehehehe

MTW158Balgeriaunits_zpsksuelkev.png


MTW158Asardiniaunits_zpsebdoebup.png


Turn 159:

How are those alliances going?

MTW159Aalliances_zpshwcaffqp.png


Turn 160:

Wahey, we got the triple, we are the best at everything, why thank-you for the ego boost at this rather boring leg in the final journey, much appreciated:

MTW160Atechnicalexcellence_zpswkadbost.png


Hotting up nicely in the eastern arena I see...:

MTW160Begyptnearlyfull_zps7xrig0ao.png


Yup, it's just the start folks, you stiiiill aint seen nothin' yet...
 
Last edited:
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IncendiaryDevice

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7,407
Turns 161-180

Turn 161:

Egypt suffers a Civil War, I have no idea if I influenced this or not:

MTW161Aegyptcollapse_zpsmrwfg85i.png


Turn 162:

But it's cool either way:

MTW162Begypttaxes_zpsji6zpyjk.png


Aragon's... gone, time to move on:

MTW162Amoveinquisitors_zpsym0m5c7o.png


Turn 163:

Fuck me:

MTW163Afrenchreappear_zpslmmikitr.png


Now... when this happens we don't want the people in the Castle being the people who rebel, so we have to move out of the province while it get's back to normal:

MTW163Bmoveinquisitors_zpspak6w6bd.png


Naples is now ready to build some utterly gorgeous white knights, ah, the chills I get using them in battle:

MTW163Cnaplessoldiers_zpsjx6w6qoe.png


Turn 164:

This is where my mistake earlier in the game comes back to bite me in the ass. I just get impatient here and decide to bribe the French, this will make me at war with the French. My bad. I hold my hands up here, it's not necessary and it's stupid, but what can you do. The French have no allies so it shouldn't effect my alliances much, and the Castles are about to fall, I was trying to be too clever by half, but meh, still unnecessary and impetuous:

MTW164Afrancealliances_zpshe0h21nw.png


MTW164Bbribefrance_zpsyiqhgiif.png


MTW164Daragoncastle_zpsitpk4uth.png


MTW164Cvalenciacastle_zpsisreth9n.png


Turn 165:

Both bribes are successful:

MTW165Abribessuccessful_zps4ykf6jsf.png


Egypt has started it's journey:

MTW165Begyptrebellions_zpsbkib9qyj.png


Turn 166:

Valencia is now mine, but the French sent in an army from Toulouse which is now locked in the Castle in Aragon which I will have to take an extra turn bribing *sigh*:

MTW166Amovestacksandbribary_zpsbnrvhhkj.png


Palestine looks ripe for the plucking:

MTW166Bmoveemissaries_zpsww9yxij8.png


Turn 167:

Aragon is now mine, lets get those GIs back to Toulouse and try and do this properly from now on:

MTW167Bmovestacks_zps8y2e1wqp.png


Lets see if it lets me bribe all three without mucking me about:

MTW167Cbribepalastine_zpsvtybuvqh.png


Cordoba is now ready:

MTW167Dcordobaunits_zpsc40vdlyt.png


And try to get an immediate ceasefire:

MTW167Eproposeceasefire_zps7fbzzxpk.png


Turn 168:

I got lucky:

MTW168Bpalastinesbribesuccess_zps4l7rdmux.png


I fucked up:

MTW168Aexcommunication_zpsilistdii.png


Ireland is now ready:

MTW168Cirelandunits_zpsr6mcuhsq.png


Turn 169:

But within a blink of an eye, peace has broken out. Man, the Pope's strict...

MTW169Afranceceasefire_zpsafgyq40l.png


Cyrenacia is now ready:

MTW169Bcyrenceniaunits_zpsjrb8bwah.png


Turn 170:

Another trait that will be familiar to the codex:

MTW170Agovenortraits_zpsxsvuuulh.png


Time to put together a third death stack in the middle east:

MTW170Binquismiddleeast_zpsrrx64zeg.png


Turn 171:

Lets try and get the Pope back:

MTW171Bpopealliance_zpswat6svlp.png


Fuck me sideways LOL:

MTW171Aaragonesereappear_zpsofclpsvl.png


Turn 172:

Yup, Papacy is back:

MTW172Apopealliance_zps1nh5amun.png


Aquitaine has gone, lets keep those GIs on the move:

MTW172Bmoveinquisitors1_zps18m28vvz.png


Positioning GIs in the middle east:

MTW172Cmoveinquisitors2_zps83uy5o0f.png


Turn 173:

Lets take Sinai:

MTW173Abribesinai_zpstk0atlog.png


Spain have relieved their stranded garrison, I guess I shall execute their general as punishment and move my GIs back for good measure:

MTW173Binquisspaingeneral_zpsw741njki.png


Turn 174:

Looking good for Sinai:

MTW174Abribeaccepted_zpsajgstykn.png


Fuck me sideways, backways and every which ways:

MTW174Bturkishreappear_zpspxbaq1rw.png


Time to let Toulouse settle down for a bit, it's just respawning endless alternate AIs :

MTW174Cmoveinquisitors_zpsh1ectcl0.png


Turn 175:

Sinai conquered:

MTW175Bsinaiconquered_zpste7neh1c.png


Same shit's going on in Aquitaine now, oh well, move those GIs out for a bit:

MTW175Afrenchinaquitanemoveiqs_zpsa0wboqmc.png


You know, I really can't be arsed to look for a bride at the moment, I think I'll marry my princess to my prince:

MTW175Cmarryprincesstoheir_zpssfbmnc8a.png


Turn 176:

Mmmmm, interesting... sorry, don't care, doing stuff, too busy:

MTW176Aprincesssituation_zpsk9rb3gao.png


MTW176Bsecretincest_zpskqeb0uyg.png


Good good:

MTW176Cmoveunitsarabia_zpsbuld8sa1.png


Have we settled yet?

MTW176Dmoveunitseurope_zps0f5lsd5w.png


Turn 177:

And Arabia has fallen:

MTW177Amoveunitsarabia_zpsvmz7vexn.png


Turn 178:

Fucking Crusades, fucking hate them:

MTW178Bmoveunitsarabia_zpsb58f6ttw.png


Yup, back to normal:

MTW178Amoveunitseurope_zpsfqw72h1q.png


Turn 179:

They're finally falling left right and centre now:

MTW179Bmoveunitseurope_zpsfa8anmza.png


MTW179Abribeaquitaine_zpsmwumzlyf.png


MTW179Cbribearabia_zps9t0vayns.png


Turn 180:

Oh just what the fuck glitch is going on here! After all that hard work the game just decides the rebels are Egyptian again... Ohhhhhhh... what the fuck fuck fuck, that fucking Crusade:

MTW180Awtfegyptetc_zpsxipnkhcn.png


Easy pickings now in Europe:

MTW180Baquitainebribesucess_zpski2d8yjx.png


Not much left to go... just 44 turns. But sorry folks and guys and dildos and whatever, I'm beat. I'll finish up tomorrow. Byzzzzzze bye.
 
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IncendiaryDevice

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Turn 181-200

Turn 181:

Move 'em all back *sigh*

MTW181Bmoveunitsarabia_zps05mgqslx.png


And how are things looking in Europe:

MTW181Amoveunitseurope_zpslro8f5ot.png


Turn 182:

Oh what the fuck Golden Horde, just as I finally decide to bribe Syria, now you decide to invade? Just double u tee eff:

MTW182Bwtfgoldenhorde_zpsh9yvuqgw.png


Oh well, move the units back *sigh*

MTW182Bmoveunitsarabia_zpsuwzjitsr.png


Now that I have a good choke point in Europe I can move all those stacks I've been bribing into a more useful position:

MTW182Amoveunitseurope_zps9tacsfox.png


Turn 183:

Once you get a bit of leeway from the bollox you can expand quite fast:

MTW183Amoveunitsandbribesucs_zpsmdpc5gh4.png


Turn 184:

Anjou, I want you:

MTW184Amoveunitseurope_zpsb2faeoye.png


Turn 185:

Anjou, I nearly have you:

MTW185anjoubribed_zpsc43jo31r.png


Turn 186:

Anjou I have you:

MTW186Amoveunitseurope_zpsyllnxvbu.png


Anything interesting happened in the middle east yet?

MTW186Bmoveunitsarabia_zpslh0deuqu.png


Turn 187:

Welcome back my Spanish friends. I wish you hadn't have bothered, but now you're back...

MTW187Aspanishreappear_zpsh1omcyfb.png


Antioch and Syria, you are within my grasp!

MTW187Bbribesyriaandmoveunits_zpsx1hfn1cs.png


Turn 188:

Burgundy? Yes, I could most definitely be tempted with you:

MTW188Aeurope_zpsb6vhpy97.png


Let's see if it lets us have Syria this time:

MTW188Barabiasituation_zpsq6k1vey5.png


Turn 189:

Oh what the fuck Golden Horde, you fucking wankers:

MTW189Awtfgoldenhorde_zpsb7t21zzw.png


Turn 190:

Antioch is mine and... yaaaaay! Egypt has finally fallen!!!!!!!!!!

MTW190Bantiochconquered_zps5mi1jcmt.png


Burgundy is mine and the Italians are nearly dead!

MTW190Aburgundyconquered_zpsne9ds9ni.png


Turn 191:

Egypt is nearly mine! The Italians are gone, baby, goooooooone:

MTW191Aegyptthistime_zpsh53ngdup.png


MTW191Bitaliansgone_zpsfdnnkipe.png


Turn 192:

Egypt! I have Egypt! Ohhhh, Lord be praised!

MTW192Aegyptfinallyconquered_zpsum2gpe6t.png


Genoa has been bribed... as has Flanders...

MTW192Bgenoabribed_zpskttgj9uh.png


I'm gonna try to speed things up even more and attempt to assassinate the Spanish king, he's too new to have any heirs (I'll send about 6 Assassins with between 7% and 13% chance each):

MTW192Cassassinatespanishking_zpsk8ffozhj.png


Turn 193:

All my assassins failed :( but I now have Flanders and Genoa :)

MTW193Aassassinationfail_zpswxspumhx.png


Might as well have Edessa. Lesser Armenia looks nice as well:

MTW193Bbribelarmenia_zpspwq709xl.png


Turn 194:

Let's try to bribe Syria again (oh look, Constantinople has collapsed, I wonder what could have happened there ;) ) :

MTW194Abribesyria_zpsl0fovguv.png


Milan, oh how I love Milan!

MTW194Bbribemilan_zpsm7roanos.png


Turn 195:

WFT Golden Horde, just WTF!!!! Ohhh, it did that cheaty thing again where it just switched the rebels back to their original nation :(

MTW195Awtfgoldenhorde_zpshhv9qbxr.png


Looking good for Milan:

MTW195Bmilanbribesucess_zpseh3za598.png


Turn 196:

Milan is mine:

MTW196Amilanconquered_zpscmvmqi16.png


Turn 197:

Fuck me:

MTW197Atheswissemerge_zpsrukiw5fk.png


Turn 198:

I think I might try to bribe Constantinople:

MTW198Abribeconstantinople_zpschr7gqyz.png


Turn 199:

Ohhhh WFT it did it again! Goddammit game, why are you so desperate to stop me advancing in the middle east, just what the fuck are you doing?

MTW199Awtfgermany_zps1d0ruttn.png


Turn 200:

And what the fuck Tripoli, we've now got German rebels attacking rebels who have the Germans pinned in the castle? Fuck me game, what aaaare you doing?

MTW200Awtfgermany_zps0tfllpil.png


Find out the answer to this question and more, next time, on Total War: Total Chaos ;)
 
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IncendiaryDevice

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Turn 201-224

Turn 201:

Here we see what the problem is. Or at least one of the causes. Sometimes when a territory succumbs to unrest, and there is a lot of general unrest in the surrounding areas, and the game can't find an excuse to regenerate a dead nation (because you need to have owned a territory during the game in order to respawn there), and it can't spawn rebels, because there are already rebels there, it will decide that the respawning will be from a still existing empire and clump that entire region into the same rebellion, so you can end-up with an AI rebelling against rebels:

MTW201Aexplanation_zpsqkdypiry.png


Lets see if Normandy's rebels will kill off the Spanish before some bullshit happens:

MTW201Bnormandyfinally_zpsobospp9c.png


Turn 202:

I'm very tempted to take Wessex and Wales:

MTW202Aeuropesituation_zpstpz90x79.png


My mini map shows the middle east has more rebellious nations than my strategic map, oh well, it's just some ol' bullshit, I'll deal with it later:

MTW202Barabiasituation_zpsu9wrz9sy.png


Turn 203:

Close to getting Wessex and Wales:

MTW203wessexandwalesbribes_zpsfztsjfn8.png


Oh fuck off, another Crusade, so tiresome. Also, you can find yourself in these kind of ruts with this method, where everything's fucked up but you just don't get given any opportunities for ages due to continued bullshit. It's just a matter of being patient if you're determined to play by any kind of strict personal rules, but you could easily grab a lot of these with little fuss if you were so inclined:

MTW203Barabianarena_zpsees74et1.png


Turn 204:

Wessex and Wales, you are now part of the winning posse, hooray for you!

MTW204Awessexandwalesconq_zps4fsc2tsq.png


Turn 205:

I wont believe it until I see my flag above the castle of Normandy:

MTW205Anormandybribe_zpspehothoe.png


Turn 206:

This is so awesome:

MTW206Anormandyconquered_zpsk79gtpif.png


Turn 207:

It still looks like there's lots to take here, but alas, nothing yet :(

MTW207Bturkisharena_zps0srr3avi.png


Whereas in Europe they're dropping like flies:

MTW207Aeuropearena_zpsozp4jaaf.png


Turn 208:

I think I'll head my GIs north and cut-off Germany's northern coast:

MTW208Amoveunitseurope_zpsmdl9kojx.png


Turn 209:

Now that we have armies littering the board, the chance of a civil war, and the impact of a civil war, is exponentially greater. So it's always tension building when your kings dies, especially so close to the end:

MTW209Akingdies_zpsuimkbvka.png


MTW209Bkingpicunmarried_zpsgfm7n2nf.png


MTW209Cmarriageproposaleng_zpsd0seubou.png


Turn 210:

My favourite screen after a very long and drawn out Inquisition, lets celebrate:

MTW210Achampagnebribeacc_zpsjkk6s9kn.png


Marriage accepted:

MTW210Bmarriageaccepted_zpsuagwmovj.png


It's just for show at this stage, but wont it show nice:

MTW210Ccaptaingeneral_zpsjjvamxlj.png


Ile De France would be icing on the cake:

MTW210Dmoveunitseurope_zpsgg1dmfwe.png


Shall I grease some palms?

MTW210Emoveunitsgreece_zpsk4fxyczg.png


My new catchphrase: What the fuck, Syria:

MTW210Fwtfsyriaetc_zpsqu9jldve.png


Turn 211:

Palms greased:

MTW211Agreecebribeaccepted_zpswdmsjnwl.png


And finally a territory becomes available in Anatolia:

MTW211Cturkisharena_zps68zc12oe.png


Lorraine now:

MTW211Beuropeanarena_zpso6hzsbst.png


And then I shall complete that great GI movement to encircle northern Germany:

MTW211Dmoveunitseurope_zpsgfd7ijg6.png


Don't forget to keep building stuffs here and there, new kings can (will need to) earn that trait pretty quick you know:

MTW211Ekinggreatbuilder_zpsecvrdqoq.png


Turn 212:

May I interrupt this game to bring you the best pun so far (don't tell me you don't know what a frangipan is...):

MTW212Alordfrangipan_zpsqgfrghft.png


For Lorraine it did that thing where I bribed both armies, but it didn't register for one of the stacks, not rejected, just not responded to at all, no messages, nothing, as if no order was placed. Very frustrating, so in these cases, in sensitive territories where I don't want to take chances, I move in some extra help for the stack which did accept the bribe. Oh and Swabia has been done and dusted as well:

MTW212Bmovetroopslorraineswab_zpsnd5atdre.png


Nearly got another one over here:

MTW212Cmoveunitsturkish_zps4oslhgln.png


Turn 213:

Good good, were likely safe till the end of the game now:

MTW213Asonborn_zpsiur1dffl.png


And, wow, that was quick wasn't it:

MTW213Bkingmagbuilder_zpsnrq7rn2s.png


Now this is hilarious, get a load of this. You know Arabia has been in rebellion for so many turns we've all already forgotten about it, well, their castle will fall in literally a couple of turns:

MTW213Carabiacastle_zpsdblbtmn8.png


But the siegers have spent so long sieging it that there's only 2 of them left:

MTW213Darabiarebels_zpsmr5lqzcy.png


What do you want to bet the territory will go back to Egyptian because the rebels are just sieged out to zero troops... now, I bet you've never seen that before, wouldn't that be worth the price of admission alone, no?

Turn 214:

The Byzantines have rather foolishly invaded Sardinia from Corsica. Those bastards:

MTW214Asardiniainvaded_zpsjjrmtvye.png


MTW214Brunningaway_zpshgpwz2el.png


Lets see if Rum actually falls without bullshit at last:

MTW214Cmoveunits_zps2frcymyi.png


French have gone again! Time to grab what I can:

MTW214Dfrenchgonemove_zpsnrgurxxa.png


Aaaaaaaaaaaaand... wouldn't you just fucking know it...

MTW214Earabianorebels_zpsmr0kpkgn.png


Turn 215:

...Arabia is no longer under siege:

MTW215Aarabiaback_zpsq7xwd8ej.png


Oh fucking bullshit cockslurp fuckcunt:

MTW215Bturkishreappearmove_zpspjjptyg2.png


Franconia is up for grabs:

MTW215Ceuropeanarena_zpshaxqnafo.png


And yes, the Byzantines are now being bribed into nothing:

MTW215Dcorsicabribed_zps3w3ct4hy.png


MTW215Eislandsbribed_zps4lz2ejyz.png


Yeah, you should be frowning, your ex-brother was indeed a complete twat that gotten' you into this fine mess:

MTW215Fbyzantemp_zpsxx5owb2z.png


Turn 216:

The king retreated and now the Byzants are pretty much caged in Cyprus:

MTW216Atrappedbyzant_zpsur0tvylh.png


Mercia and Scotland have been taken and Franconia is on the way:

MTW216Btroopsmoveeurope_zpsptyvvmxd.png


And Serbia's ready:

MTW216Cmoveunitshungary_zpsbxszyfhu.png


Turn 217:

And Arabia succumbs to a long rebel siege for the third time:

MTW217Aarabiagoneagain_zpsrf6dx8dn.png


We now have 49/97 territories. You require 60% domination for a Victory Condition. We can almost taste it...

Turn 218:

Not long now to get Serbia:

MTW218Aserbiabribed_zps9mmvhhmc.png


Franconia taken:

MTW218Beuropeanarena_zpsrpnpjj4i.png


We're so close to the end now that we can really start spalshing out without too much of a care that our finances could get badly burnt. Fuck it, let's go no expenses spared all over those fucking Turkish:

MTW218Cstartbribingturks_zpsllyb7wxa.png


Turn 219:

And the fucking game is still cheating its ass off to fuck with me in this region. Not only did I get nothing (apart from Nicaea), and barely any bribes registering, but now there's rebels upon AI-rebels upon oh I don't know what shit is being pulled here:

MTW219Apulledafastone_zpscwnivqcu.png


Turn 220:

Fuck me:

MTW220Aitaliansreappear_zpsfah6f5sv.png


My God, will Tripoli castle actually fall? No, I don't believe it:

MTW220Btripoliabouttofall_zpswejt9xfq.png


Turn 221:

Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of Rum, and a bottle of Trebizond please:

MTW221Afinallyrumandtreb_zps3lpyyh3o.png


And Syria as well? Is it finally happening in the middle east? Can it actually be happening...

MTW221Asyriaetcbribes_zpsryvaf7gz.png


Didn't see much of you this game Mr. English, and wont be seeing much of you in the future of this game. Thanks for all the pussy though, one does like a good bit of totty every now and then eh what old bean:

MTW221Bnorthumbriabribes_zps7z1piwyd.png


Turn 222:

I've got Syria (and Armenia)! It's happening!

MTW222Afinallysyriaetc_zpsbvesfyom.png


Yeah, you and whose army?

MTW222Calliances_zpsq5if6qzj.png


Turn 223:

Awww, that's a nice one:

MTW223Agovenortraits_zpszavpjl5c.png


Thank-you Northumbria:

MTW223Bnorthumbriafinally_zpslttbz1gv.png


We now have 56/97 territories. Where's my calculator? Oh what the fuck, 4 more should do it. Now, what do I fancy after 200 turns of being a chaotic pacifist? I know, let's scream "OH WHO GIVES A SHIT NOW, I'VE PROVEN WHAT NEEDED TO BE PROVEN":

MTW223Cinvadearabia_zps0qea5mnm.png


MTW223Einvadecyprus_zpst7qqw73r.png


MTW223Finvadedenmark_zpswtgncgas.png


MTW223Dinvadenicaea_zpsvgufvout.png


Turn 224:

MTW224Avictory_zpsko0djwah.png


MTW224Bvictoryscreen_zpsxkpm9jzo.png


None would dispute my victory? Dude, you never visited the codex...

It's possible to go the full 100% with this system, but with an ultra-strict personal rule-set and a weaker 1205 position you might find you run out of time rather than 'lose'. I have screenies of a 100% and my advice would be to make sure you finish in Siberia somewhere, cos moving 200 GIs into a territory would be fucking difficult otherwise ;)

Like all extremes, I wouldn't necessarily say this was the 'best' way to play the game, either for fun or for power-gaming, it's just an alternative which allows you to see more of what the game's actually capable of under the hood. I just happen to enjoy total chaos games :) but I often follow them with almost pure battle games, the contrast making both games better.

So for people who play this game but auto-resolve all their battles and then say the game's boring/too easy whatever, to them I say, don't be a twat, if you want to play and have fun without all the battles, play differently!

Anyway, hope at least one person enjoyed all that, and that at least one person learned something new, and that at least one person has been tempted to have a game of this epic of yore, that's the main thing. Keep the memories alive!

Be-ble-be-ble-be-ble That's all folks!

Hope at least one person enjoyed all that, and that at least one person learned something new, and that at least one person has been tempted to have a game of this epic of yore, that's the main thing. Keep the memories alive!
 
Last edited:

SmartCheetah

Arcane
Joined
May 7, 2013
Messages
1,076
Poland stronk in this LP, lel. Check out the map. Fuckers took quite a piece of it!
Anyway, good work on finishing your LP mate. That's an actual deed! On Codex, that is.
 

Baardhaas

Cipher
Patron
Joined
Dec 1, 2014
Messages
576
Make the Codex Great Again! Grab the Codex by the pussy Insert Title Here
Finished on page 2, you certainly weren't mucking about. I rember doing similar things with assassin spam, good times! It's shame every game after MTW2 has been such a let down.
 
Self-Ejected

IncendiaryDevice

Self-Ejected
Village Idiot
Joined
Nov 3, 2014
Messages
7,407
It's shame every game after MTW has been such a let down.

Fixed that for you ;)

But seriously, I could list a brazillion reasons why, for me, the series fucked up after this one but I don't want people hating this game just because I dislike their favourite, what's the point debating it. This game will never be as appreciated as it should by future gamers because a) the graphics are just a teeny bit too pixilated for people who've grown up on minty fresh 1080 and b) it only ever worked out-the box on XP, and single -core XP at that, so it's lifespan was just 2002-2008, it's life ending just as the Youtube revolution was starting. You can find shit loads of Rome onwards on Youtube but MTW is like gold dust, the only half decent Lets Play being from some twat who just spammed armies enough to 'play' the AI via predictable retreats and auto-resolve battles, he didn't give a fuck about anything but numbers and how the AI reacts to numbers, he even uses the colour-coding highlight to check happiness levels instead of actually managing his empire so he doesn't have to do that. Typical soulless dead vacant power-gamer. It's the same on Google, type in a question about MTW and you get 1,000,000 pages on MTW2 and 3 on MTW, none of which give you the answer you're looking for, it's just people asking how to get the game working mostly.

/rant
 

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