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Completed Let's Play Magna Vinland: Potato for the Potato Gods
- Thread starter Cassidy
- Start date
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
Swarożyc is the only way!
Kashmir Slippers
Magister
3
Cassidy
Arcane
Very well, Svarog it shall be. Honestly, Chernobog is ridiculously OP on purpose, limited only by infamy penalties, extreme intolerance to heretics and heathens and by a severe modifier if not at constant war.
A quite long update ahead, and this was much tougher than it looks like.
=================
Daringness forged in steel
Krzesimir Dębski - Atak Kmieci
Vitzlav V was about to sign a pact in blood, when wisdom spoke louder than temptation, and he managed to avoid the eternal damnation of his soul in time. A great, disappointed "NOOOOOOO!" echoed, grunts and guttural voices cajouling and shouting in his head, in an inhuman chorus:
"THE TEUTONIC ORDER WILL RAPE AND KILL YOU, YOUR DESCENDANTS AND YOUR COUNTRY, AND I WILL WATCH IT IN JOY, HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MWAMWAMWAMWAMWA!", the chorus concluded, like a Stereotypical Villain.
The Prince was glad to have escaped from this obvious trap he almost fell into. Through the next years of his rule, the army of Pommerania would be expanded as far as possible, because sooner or later the crusaders would come again, and this time they might have to fight alone. Instead, he sought solace in the largest temple dedicated to Svarog, the great smith of the Slavic pantheon, forge sharp steel and guide him and his principality to victory against the Teutonic and Norse Orders once the time comes.
The infantry of Pommerania, like all potato infantry, is quite inferior to the infantry of the "west", which is more of a cultural than geographic meaning, considering Finland is "western" in spite of being more to the east.
In August of 1466, Vitzlav died as a man of honor, who was closely tempted by the black god but refused to succumb. His son Zemuzil II, an equally superb general and excellent administrator, was tasked to guide Pommerania through her still uncertain future. The Crusaders waged war on Nordland, but failed to achieve any victory at all, and shortly after Zemuzil II took the throne, Poland, the Teutonic and Norse Orders ended at war against Bohemia, Bavaria and Croatia. Their armies marched far away, leaving only token defenders in their lands, and Bohemia seemed to be gaining the upper hand. This couldn't be a better time, specially since they secured an important alliance with their former liege in the Kingdom of Lithuania.
Zemuzil II was a daring and bold prince, determined to lead Pommerania to a new age of glory and proeminence, or die trying. He knew much could go wrong, but he likewise knew that waiting in peace would be worse, specially if the zealots achieve great victories against the Hussites. The time has come to reclaim historical Pommeranian territories and crush the Teutonic Order, helped by the Svarog forges and by the enormous military prowess of his small but strong country. He who dares win, Dla Slava!
: x
As they marched into the city of Neumark, the Pommeranian forces were about to be attacked by a large Teutonic legion, but reinforcements were on the way. Led by Zemuzil II, this army fought the first major battle of independent Pommerania against the Teutonic Order.
The Teutonic knights were chopped off like a head of cabbage.
: x
After this great victory, the remaining knights were chased off like dogs and exterminated. No mercy will be given to those who genocided all Slavs in the region they dare to call "Brandenburg". However while victorious, and with the Lithuanian support, it seemed the fall of the Teutonic Order was only a matter of time, there was another problem: Bohemia was losing the war in the south, and sooner or later they would surrender.
The Polish army was legion, and could more than tip off the balance of this conflict from a possible victory to an inevitable defeat. They needed to learn that numbers alone will never win. Thus, the brave Zemuzil II leads an army into Silesia to crush an entire Polish force.
Note: I had the fortune of a cavalry sortie event before, that gives two extra cavalry brigades, which is why there is more cavalry than in the beginning.
The Polish forces were defeated, and better, they did not retreat towards safety deeper in Polish territory, but were so utterly crushed they fled anywhere, and were very vulnerable to be utterly defeated next.
Dla Slava!
: x
With that army crushed, all Pommeranian forces concentrated on conquering the Teutonic castles.
Potsdam was the first to fall. Yet, even with these victories, the situation of Pommerania was far from precarious, for Bohemia continued losing.
Then, in March of 1470, the zealots were finally able to focus all their efforts against Pommerania, as Bohemia rose the white flag, which was as natural for them as for 1940s Frnace. A massive Polish legion advance, and now the conflict would either turn to disaster or to a turning point. There was only one way Pommerania could stand a chance now.
The massive Polish legions were clearly intent on delivering a crushing blow against Pommerania, but they would pay a high price, no matter what.
Yet, their crushing defeat at Potsdam was key to ensure the tide of this war swept in Pommerania's favor, for was only thanks to that bold attack against Silesia and to the lost of more than five thousand Polish soldiers that Poland agreed to peace in exchange of a tribute. Now, with the Teutonic armies utternly crushed in Neumark, the "Tannenberg" of this space-time continuum, only the Norse Order could still pose a threat.
The Danish crusaders never sent any significant portion of their army against Pommerania. No longer fighting in multiple fronts, they would sooner or later send a far more threatening force.
Or maybe not.
A large force advanced against Arkona, but Lithuania sneaked a besieging army through Finland and Scandinavia to their north, making them stupidly head all the way back there instead.
Krzesimir Dębski - Szli my na Poznan
While the massive Danish legion was being fooled around by the cunning of the Lithuanian Hitmen, Poznan also fell, and the penultimate demise of the Teutonic Order was getting closer.
But eventually they realized the Hitmen tricks and, angry, marched right into Cape Arkona, the westernmost stronghold of the Slavic old gods. There was no choice but to resort to scorched earth to crush this massive army, and to hope the defenders of Fort Arkona will prevail. May Svarog reforge their hearts with infinite will and courage!
For almost an year they resisted, and so devastated by attrition the Danish forces were that a part of them retreat, leaving the rest vulnerable to an offensive. What would happen in the offensive to retake Cape Arkona was legendary:
When the reinforcements arrived, the besieging army was already running like the hedonistic Dane dogs they were, and perhaps with the blessings of the gods, seeing their fellow men running like cowards was enough to allow a tiny army to achieve the impossible, by scaring away a force that vastly outnumbered them into retreat.
: x
Naturally, once they realized how outnumbered the army they ran away for, with several of their commanding officers killed for dishonor and cowardice, the Danish legion advanced again into the scorched Arkona, and this time, the small force within took no chances.
Note: If a reinforcement arrives at the same day the defending army in a province was defeated, both retreat. At least, unlike stupid ping-pong, this is amusing.
Meanwhile, another step closer to total victory against the Teutons.
In Arkona, the defenders were not just brave, but heroic, delivering massive casualties to the legions besieging the province, they were resolute to fight to the last man, and their bravery could be the decisive act to turn this war into the conflict that will free all Pommeranians from foreign conquerors.
Again, it was retaken.
The foolish Norse Order lost almost ten thousand thanks to the courageous defense of Fort Arkona. Just a little more bravery, and Zemuzil II and his men will be forever remembered as the saviors and emancipators of Pommerania.
In the end, the Fort in Arkona fell, all its defenders fought to their last breath, but thanks to their unremitting courage and bravery, the Norse Order conquest of Cape Arkona was a completely pyrrhic victory. They advanced into Mecklenburg, as the worst krauts named it, and there they were crushed, retreating all the way up to Jylland:
: x
: x : x
In the end of 1747, the entire Norse Order was practically wiped out in Jylland, and from their crushing defeat, HERESY was slowly taking over the lands their fleet protected from invasion by the forces of Pommerania and Lithuania. From daringness forged by Svarog with the iron from an unbreakable will, from the willing sacrifice of two thousand men in Arkona, who fought to the death for their land and for the old Slavic gods, Pommerania has achieved a victory that will be remembered for a thousand years.
: x : x : x
And not so shortly after, all of the Teutonic Order fell. Their fate was now in heathen hands. However, a disappointing deed would prevent their total demise.
Not all was good. While victorious across land, Pommerania faced much hardship under the blockades of the Norse Order fleet, and the mints were almost always operating at full capacity. The economy of the country would need many decades to recover from the ravages of war once this is at last over.
A growing alliance, two countries united by the common purpose of defending an old way of life against the fanatical teachings of a Jew god being the one and only, Pommerania and Lithuania have finally avenged centuries of brutality and oppression in the name of a false god, nothing more than a tool for conquerors and oppressors.
After the enemy armies were crushed, the usual scum rose as a new, if laughable threat.
Poland, opportunistic as ever, told the Teutons to fuck off and was ready to take over everything Lithuania and Pommerania would choose to not take after the humiliating peace treaty is signed.
Of all that existed subjugated by the Norse Order, Lübeck was without doubt the most valuable territory. Pommerania would have a major advantage in owning their own center of trade, even if such advantage would threaten both their presidency and membership within the Hansa.
Then, something special happened in 14th of May of 1477, that would shift the power of the Baltics in favor of the old gods. The Prince of Pommerania also became King of Lithuania...
FOR TWO FUCKING DAYS BEFORE STUPID GREEDY FUCKS AND BUTTHURT HITMEN RUINED SUCH A GLORIOUS STEP INTO THE FORMATION OF A MAJOR POWER!
Arkona was retaken, and the Cape within would be forever memorialized for the bravery of its defenders. Although the dick move of Lithuania was disappointing news, it wouldn't hinder the future of Pommerania. Let them sink under their pride and arrogance.
Stupid and ungrateful scum. They were just about to take back Gdúnsk thanks to Pommerania military prowess and now they continue doing more idiotic and butthurt deeds since breaking a personal union in disgrace and dishonor in a record time. If they ever dare to stab Pommerania in the back, they will pay!
26th of September of 1477 was the day all Pommeranian lands were freed of foreign conquerors. A day to be remembered. Yet the "ally" Pommerania had in this war has chosen to have no honor, and thus waiting out to occupy all of the Teutonic territories in once Wend clay was unwise, for they definitively would be retarded enough to sign a peace treaty that ends with them gaining no terroritories.
Thus, instead of having to occupy all those provinces to the east, Pommerania demanded harsh terms from the worst kraut, leaving their Brandenburg isolated, and also taking over Poznan. Now, all left was to take over the Pommeranian lands occupied by the Norse Order. And that would require long occupations, for they were refusing to cede.
The Wends that still lived south of Pommerania have been long Germanicized, their culture forgotten and erased from those lands save for a handful of minorities that struggle to survive. Nothing short of resettlement and payback for the German atrocities against the Wends could change that. For now, it was better to leave those lands as they are.
The Catholic churches from the conquered Teutonic territories were converted into Slavic temples, mostly dedicated to the smith god. The struggle against the rebel scum was difficult and frustrating, but Pommerania persevered. Except for one type of such scum, except they were not scum, only rough in how they expressed their discontent over a foolish decision of Zemuzil II about certain individuals in Poznan who can be blamed for all the hardships those who believe in the old gods have endured:
A mistake he was quick to rectify, regardless of prestige costs. As a plus, the move towards tradition rather than liberalization finally would bring some real proselytism to the dying Slavic old faith, even if major missionary efforts would proceed at a glacial pace.
It was chosen to let the Hussites take over Poznan. They are all the same for Pommerania.
In other news, Thuringia became a communist theocracy.
Wait a minute?
Less than two years after this, suddenly a plague appears out of nowhere?
...
Meanwhile, in the land of REMOVE KEBAB...
And finally, in 1484, all of the Norse Order in continental Europe was secured. Now it was a long wait ahead.
Considering the massive rebellion they would face otherwise, Zemuzil II enacted laws on tolerance, for now. The traitors and fanatics that still rose were all killed before they could seize any territories.
And at last, Mecklenburg was secured, and soon Lübeck and Holstein would be as well, concluding this long conflict with an astounding victory.
3rd of October of 1486 was the date when at last, the war for liberation of Pommerania was concluded. Zemuzil II rose to the status of a legendary hero, having led his once insignificant Pommerania to finally crush the crusaders that harmed and oppressed his people so long. Now they needed a long time of peace to recover from this conflict, and to teach to those whose grandfathers were forced to convert the ways of the old gods. The Teutonic Order will soon vanish, while the Norse Order has been greatly diminished in power. However, the economy of the Principality suffered, with inflation now close to ten percent due to the minting necessary to fund this long war. Nevertheless, it was worth, for now Pommerania has grown strong enough to no longer fear their neighbors.
DLA SLAVA!
: x
A quite long update ahead, and this was much tougher than it looks like.
=================
Daringness forged in steel
Krzesimir Dębski - Atak Kmieci
Vitzlav V was about to sign a pact in blood, when wisdom spoke louder than temptation, and he managed to avoid the eternal damnation of his soul in time. A great, disappointed "NOOOOOOO!" echoed, grunts and guttural voices cajouling and shouting in his head, in an inhuman chorus:
"THE TEUTONIC ORDER WILL RAPE AND KILL YOU, YOUR DESCENDANTS AND YOUR COUNTRY, AND I WILL WATCH IT IN JOY, HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MWAMWAMWAMWAMWA!", the chorus concluded, like a Stereotypical Villain.
The Prince was glad to have escaped from this obvious trap he almost fell into. Through the next years of his rule, the army of Pommerania would be expanded as far as possible, because sooner or later the crusaders would come again, and this time they might have to fight alone. Instead, he sought solace in the largest temple dedicated to Svarog, the great smith of the Slavic pantheon, forge sharp steel and guide him and his principality to victory against the Teutonic and Norse Orders once the time comes.
The infantry of Pommerania, like all potato infantry, is quite inferior to the infantry of the "west", which is more of a cultural than geographic meaning, considering Finland is "western" in spite of being more to the east.
In August of 1466, Vitzlav died as a man of honor, who was closely tempted by the black god but refused to succumb. His son Zemuzil II, an equally superb general and excellent administrator, was tasked to guide Pommerania through her still uncertain future. The Crusaders waged war on Nordland, but failed to achieve any victory at all, and shortly after Zemuzil II took the throne, Poland, the Teutonic and Norse Orders ended at war against Bohemia, Bavaria and Croatia. Their armies marched far away, leaving only token defenders in their lands, and Bohemia seemed to be gaining the upper hand. This couldn't be a better time, specially since they secured an important alliance with their former liege in the Kingdom of Lithuania.
Zemuzil II was a daring and bold prince, determined to lead Pommerania to a new age of glory and proeminence, or die trying. He knew much could go wrong, but he likewise knew that waiting in peace would be worse, specially if the zealots achieve great victories against the Hussites. The time has come to reclaim historical Pommeranian territories and crush the Teutonic Order, helped by the Svarog forges and by the enormous military prowess of his small but strong country. He who dares win, Dla Slava!
: x
As they marched into the city of Neumark, the Pommeranian forces were about to be attacked by a large Teutonic legion, but reinforcements were on the way. Led by Zemuzil II, this army fought the first major battle of independent Pommerania against the Teutonic Order.
The Teutonic knights were chopped off like a head of cabbage.
: x
After this great victory, the remaining knights were chased off like dogs and exterminated. No mercy will be given to those who genocided all Slavs in the region they dare to call "Brandenburg". However while victorious, and with the Lithuanian support, it seemed the fall of the Teutonic Order was only a matter of time, there was another problem: Bohemia was losing the war in the south, and sooner or later they would surrender.
The Polish army was legion, and could more than tip off the balance of this conflict from a possible victory to an inevitable defeat. They needed to learn that numbers alone will never win. Thus, the brave Zemuzil II leads an army into Silesia to crush an entire Polish force.
Note: I had the fortune of a cavalry sortie event before, that gives two extra cavalry brigades, which is why there is more cavalry than in the beginning.
The Polish forces were defeated, and better, they did not retreat towards safety deeper in Polish territory, but were so utterly crushed they fled anywhere, and were very vulnerable to be utterly defeated next.
Dla Slava!
: x
With that army crushed, all Pommeranian forces concentrated on conquering the Teutonic castles.
Potsdam was the first to fall. Yet, even with these victories, the situation of Pommerania was far from precarious, for Bohemia continued losing.
Then, in March of 1470, the zealots were finally able to focus all their efforts against Pommerania, as Bohemia rose the white flag, which was as natural for them as for 1940s Frnace. A massive Polish legion advance, and now the conflict would either turn to disaster or to a turning point. There was only one way Pommerania could stand a chance now.
The massive Polish legions were clearly intent on delivering a crushing blow against Pommerania, but they would pay a high price, no matter what.
Yet, their crushing defeat at Potsdam was key to ensure the tide of this war swept in Pommerania's favor, for was only thanks to that bold attack against Silesia and to the lost of more than five thousand Polish soldiers that Poland agreed to peace in exchange of a tribute. Now, with the Teutonic armies utternly crushed in Neumark, the "Tannenberg" of this space-time continuum, only the Norse Order could still pose a threat.
The Danish crusaders never sent any significant portion of their army against Pommerania. No longer fighting in multiple fronts, they would sooner or later send a far more threatening force.
Or maybe not.
A large force advanced against Arkona, but Lithuania sneaked a besieging army through Finland and Scandinavia to their north, making them stupidly head all the way back there instead.
Krzesimir Dębski - Szli my na Poznan
While the massive Danish legion was being fooled around by the cunning of the Lithuanian Hitmen, Poznan also fell, and the penultimate demise of the Teutonic Order was getting closer.
But eventually they realized the Hitmen tricks and, angry, marched right into Cape Arkona, the westernmost stronghold of the Slavic old gods. There was no choice but to resort to scorched earth to crush this massive army, and to hope the defenders of Fort Arkona will prevail. May Svarog reforge their hearts with infinite will and courage!
For almost an year they resisted, and so devastated by attrition the Danish forces were that a part of them retreat, leaving the rest vulnerable to an offensive. What would happen in the offensive to retake Cape Arkona was legendary:
When the reinforcements arrived, the besieging army was already running like the hedonistic Dane dogs they were, and perhaps with the blessings of the gods, seeing their fellow men running like cowards was enough to allow a tiny army to achieve the impossible, by scaring away a force that vastly outnumbered them into retreat.
: x
Naturally, once they realized how outnumbered the army they ran away for, with several of their commanding officers killed for dishonor and cowardice, the Danish legion advanced again into the scorched Arkona, and this time, the small force within took no chances.
Note: If a reinforcement arrives at the same day the defending army in a province was defeated, both retreat. At least, unlike stupid ping-pong, this is amusing.
Meanwhile, another step closer to total victory against the Teutons.
In Arkona, the defenders were not just brave, but heroic, delivering massive casualties to the legions besieging the province, they were resolute to fight to the last man, and their bravery could be the decisive act to turn this war into the conflict that will free all Pommeranians from foreign conquerors.
Again, it was retaken.
The foolish Norse Order lost almost ten thousand thanks to the courageous defense of Fort Arkona. Just a little more bravery, and Zemuzil II and his men will be forever remembered as the saviors and emancipators of Pommerania.
In the end, the Fort in Arkona fell, all its defenders fought to their last breath, but thanks to their unremitting courage and bravery, the Norse Order conquest of Cape Arkona was a completely pyrrhic victory. They advanced into Mecklenburg, as the worst krauts named it, and there they were crushed, retreating all the way up to Jylland:
: x
: x : x
In the end of 1747, the entire Norse Order was practically wiped out in Jylland, and from their crushing defeat, HERESY was slowly taking over the lands their fleet protected from invasion by the forces of Pommerania and Lithuania. From daringness forged by Svarog with the iron from an unbreakable will, from the willing sacrifice of two thousand men in Arkona, who fought to the death for their land and for the old Slavic gods, Pommerania has achieved a victory that will be remembered for a thousand years.
: x : x : x
And not so shortly after, all of the Teutonic Order fell. Their fate was now in heathen hands. However, a disappointing deed would prevent their total demise.
Not all was good. While victorious across land, Pommerania faced much hardship under the blockades of the Norse Order fleet, and the mints were almost always operating at full capacity. The economy of the country would need many decades to recover from the ravages of war once this is at last over.
A growing alliance, two countries united by the common purpose of defending an old way of life against the fanatical teachings of a Jew god being the one and only, Pommerania and Lithuania have finally avenged centuries of brutality and oppression in the name of a false god, nothing more than a tool for conquerors and oppressors.
After the enemy armies were crushed, the usual scum rose as a new, if laughable threat.
Poland, opportunistic as ever, told the Teutons to fuck off and was ready to take over everything Lithuania and Pommerania would choose to not take after the humiliating peace treaty is signed.
Of all that existed subjugated by the Norse Order, Lübeck was without doubt the most valuable territory. Pommerania would have a major advantage in owning their own center of trade, even if such advantage would threaten both their presidency and membership within the Hansa.
Then, something special happened in 14th of May of 1477, that would shift the power of the Baltics in favor of the old gods. The Prince of Pommerania also became King of Lithuania...
FOR TWO FUCKING DAYS BEFORE STUPID GREEDY FUCKS AND BUTTHURT HITMEN RUINED SUCH A GLORIOUS STEP INTO THE FORMATION OF A MAJOR POWER!
Arkona was retaken, and the Cape within would be forever memorialized for the bravery of its defenders. Although the dick move of Lithuania was disappointing news, it wouldn't hinder the future of Pommerania. Let them sink under their pride and arrogance.
Stupid and ungrateful scum. They were just about to take back Gdúnsk thanks to Pommerania military prowess and now they continue doing more idiotic and butthurt deeds since breaking a personal union in disgrace and dishonor in a record time. If they ever dare to stab Pommerania in the back, they will pay!
26th of September of 1477 was the day all Pommeranian lands were freed of foreign conquerors. A day to be remembered. Yet the "ally" Pommerania had in this war has chosen to have no honor, and thus waiting out to occupy all of the Teutonic territories in once Wend clay was unwise, for they definitively would be retarded enough to sign a peace treaty that ends with them gaining no terroritories.
Thus, instead of having to occupy all those provinces to the east, Pommerania demanded harsh terms from the worst kraut, leaving their Brandenburg isolated, and also taking over Poznan. Now, all left was to take over the Pommeranian lands occupied by the Norse Order. And that would require long occupations, for they were refusing to cede.
The Wends that still lived south of Pommerania have been long Germanicized, their culture forgotten and erased from those lands save for a handful of minorities that struggle to survive. Nothing short of resettlement and payback for the German atrocities against the Wends could change that. For now, it was better to leave those lands as they are.
The Catholic churches from the conquered Teutonic territories were converted into Slavic temples, mostly dedicated to the smith god. The struggle against the rebel scum was difficult and frustrating, but Pommerania persevered. Except for one type of such scum, except they were not scum, only rough in how they expressed their discontent over a foolish decision of Zemuzil II about certain individuals in Poznan who can be blamed for all the hardships those who believe in the old gods have endured:
A mistake he was quick to rectify, regardless of prestige costs. As a plus, the move towards tradition rather than liberalization finally would bring some real proselytism to the dying Slavic old faith, even if major missionary efforts would proceed at a glacial pace.
It was chosen to let the Hussites take over Poznan. They are all the same for Pommerania.
In other news, Thuringia became a communist theocracy.
Wait a minute?
Less than two years after this, suddenly a plague appears out of nowhere?
...
Meanwhile, in the land of REMOVE KEBAB...
And finally, in 1484, all of the Norse Order in continental Europe was secured. Now it was a long wait ahead.
Considering the massive rebellion they would face otherwise, Zemuzil II enacted laws on tolerance, for now. The traitors and fanatics that still rose were all killed before they could seize any territories.
And at last, Mecklenburg was secured, and soon Lübeck and Holstein would be as well, concluding this long conflict with an astounding victory.
3rd of October of 1486 was the date when at last, the war for liberation of Pommerania was concluded. Zemuzil II rose to the status of a legendary hero, having led his once insignificant Pommerania to finally crush the crusaders that harmed and oppressed his people so long. Now they needed a long time of peace to recover from this conflict, and to teach to those whose grandfathers were forced to convert the ways of the old gods. The Teutonic Order will soon vanish, while the Norse Order has been greatly diminished in power. However, the economy of the Principality suffered, with inflation now close to ten percent due to the minting necessary to fund this long war. Nevertheless, it was worth, for now Pommerania has grown strong enough to no longer fear their neighbors.
DLA SLAVA!
: x
Hellraiser
Arcane
THE SEA POTATO IS GROWING BIG STRONG AND SALTY!
Imagine how the war would have went, had we chosen to worship the Trickster.
But Svarog is cool too.
Now reclaim Polish clay and title of King from those who bow to the jewish god.
But Svarog is cool too.
Now reclaim Polish clay and title of King from those who bow to the jewish god.
No Chernobog? I am disappoint.
Still, that was an epic victory.
Still, that was an epic victory.
Kashmir Slippers
Magister
Like everything that you do in any of your other LPs is easy.
Cassidy
Arcane
Why do you pogrom?
you are the worst jew
you are the worst jew idiot, you are the worst jew smel
return to your precious khazaria
to your polish brothers, you may come visit our coutry
you may live in the zoo hahahahaha
bohemia we will get you, do not forget 3glaw
fuk asshol sqhiper sqhiper jew turk all the same khazar snape
create lie to die in cros stupid inland potato ashol believe that
invite worst kraut tetanic knigth fantatic almst destroy our peppl
take a bath of dead kike and dead kraut
wow kraut and kike smel so bad i can smel it:
REMOVE BAGEL AND KRAUT FROM THE PREMISES
we will crush you lik a head of melon!
POMORZE GREATTST COUNTREY
=====================
Slava Pomorzu!
Krzesimir Dębski Gusla
"The Jews belong to a dark and repulsive force. One knows how numerous this clique is, how they stick together and what power they exercise through their unions. They are a nation of rascals and deceivers." - Marcus Tullius Cicero, Consul of Rome.
Mistakes will not be repeated. These snakes and melonheads disguised as humans, whose schemes almost brought our now great Pomorze to extinction, whose librul hands shall bring only decline and decadence, whose parasitical usury turns the "goy" they despise into practically slaves, who have exterminated entire ancient peoples because they didn't believe in their bloodthirsty Jew god, they cannot be tolerated. Let them get the hell out of this pure and Slavic country, let them bring ruin to those foolish enough to not realize their threat instead.
Pommerania has grown too large to carry on as a full member of the Hansa. The city of Wollin will continue being a member of the league, but the rest of the Principality no longer can keep such status.
Zemuzil II, the greatest hero of Pommerania, the destroyer of the Teutonic Order, has finally died of old age, but his legacy shall live forever.
Long live Bogislaw I! A great general at least.
Near the end of this century, the army of Pommerania is under a significant reformation, replacing the poorly trained peasant levies, professional mercenaries make their footsoldiers more relevant now, while of course, far more noticeable is the formation of the stylish and capable Light Hussars.
With growth, victory and conquest, comes the burden of ruling over a land where the religion of most is the much-despised Catholicism, and due to the complete lack of missionary tradition, nothing short of hiring an exceptional pagan missionary as advisor will give Pomorze a chance of restoring the old Slavic faith beyond that small stretch of land.
They took the bait. Time to teach them a lesson Pommerania once was too small to be able to teach them.
Pomorzan Husarii
Return to Saxony.
Note: having four military national ideas makes overwhelming victories much common, because every military NI increases the odds of a Shock 6 general.
The same worst turk that oppresses so many Slav brothers offers Pommerania an alliance of convenience. A crushed skull of pig is sent back to them as their answer to such an offer. Eventually, eventually Pomorze shall free all Slavs from such tyranny. But first the Romanists must be defeated. The potato that have forsaken the potato gods think they can win this, but they will soon realize their mistake, as they march onto Neumark* confident their ten thousand strong cavalry will defeat those with hearts and steel forged by Svarog.
*I will rename those provinces with more appropriate potato names in the next update.
Yet the superiority of Pommeranian generals was undisputed, and to make it even less favorable, the Polish army was backwards, still relying on mounted crossbowmen and poorly equipped and trained drafted peasants while Pommerania relied on light Hussars and professional soldiers armed with an assortment of early firearms, bows and blades.
The Pommeranian hussars trounced the mounted crossbowmen of Poland, while their professional infantry trounced their peasant levies. The battle of Neumark was a total victory, but the worst Potato still had reserves, and Hungarian allies coming in.
Yet, after all these losses, they still had more.
Eventually, all the remaining enemy forces were scattered towards the same direction: Neumark. Surrounded by enemies, they desperatedly tried to besiege and capture Neumark while Pommerania patiently awaited for attrition to do most of the job, to make their fate even more defined. Vlad III Dracula may have died, but his methods did not. A handful of prisoners of war were brutally tortured, mutilated and impaled in front of the fortress in an attempt to demoralize the defenders of Neumark.
Such cruelty only bolstered the resolve of the defenders in fighting to the death, specially because they knew they would win, for the enemies besieging Neumark would stand no chance once Pommerania chooses to attack them. The heroic defense of Neumark saved thousands of lives. But eventually, they began to succumb to despair. Yet, when the enemy was close to conquer all:
They attacked the besieging forces with great courage and strength.
Pommeranian soldiers are led by invincible generals, striking their foes with weapons forged by a divine smith, as proved once more!
: x
Hahaha, how about no? Poland is now pretty much doomed. It is time to finish this. Being a heavily decentralized country, Pomorze can afford to wage long wars with minimum war exhaustion.
Silesia will be taken, at the very least.
To ease the administrative burden of Pommerania, the country is made a little less decentralized, something that doesn't please everyone.
Where is your God now, Poland?
By the end of 1497, the worst Potato was completely occupied by Pommerania.
Now they have to wait, and hopefully there won't be an automatic white peace before this. Otherwise, they will have to limit their conquest to northern Silesia only. However, besieged by Finland and Scandinavia, the remnants of the Teutonic Order, no longer at truce with the greatest country, now are too tempting of a target to be left alone. In a not so long time ago, "Brandenburg" was inhabited by potato, and so it shall be again, eventually.
For the war with Poland barely harmed Pommerania, more than ready for another one.
Hussites are wrecking chaos around Poland, and they must be contained for the interests of Pomorze, unfortunately.
United in the purpose of crushing all Romanists and monotheist fanatics, the last pagan countries of Europe, despite occasional issues, stand together.
In 5th of February of 1502, Pommerania decides it is time to finish the Teutonic Order for once and all. The Pope joins this conflict in favor of the Teutonic Order, but who cares? Rome unfortunately is too distant yet for revenge.
Nothing was demanded from pathetic Magdeburg. They learned their lesson.
Bogislaw I died bravely in battle, and was succeeded by someone who is incompetent in everything besides military matters. Hopefully he will die honorably soon to give way for a better Prince.
From the total defeat of Poland, the Republic of Ruthenia-Zaporozhie was born, for now a country as relevant as tire textures.
There is little reason to conquer any more territory from the Norse Order, and they realized their demise enough to agree with peace. This time, Brandenburg will be ours!
Same on Saxony, no longer a lesser partner in union with Poland after paying a high price for such.
The Czechs recovered their core territory.
In battles against a legion of Hussites, Ratzlav I died bravely, and had no heir old enough to assume the throne. Thus a Regency happened, but fortunately, the Regent was a competent administrator (ADM 7).
And finally! The demise of the Teutonic Order is complete!
: x
It was obvious a full conquest of Poland would be unwise. But allowing HERESY tear their enemy apart from inside wasn't.
The worst kraut resettled once Slavic areas east of the Elbe river, imposing their customs and values to the conquered ones, when not killing them outright. It is due time to eventually return the favor.
REMOVE KRAUT FROM THE PREMISES!
All ancient Pommeranian lands have been reclaimed! Victory!
: x : x : x
Through these years, it became obvious a white peace would happen before their occupation lasted long enough for them to seize all of Silesia. Thus, Pommerania reconquered as much from the Hussites as possible to force harsh demands from Poland for peace.
Thus, northern Silesia became theirs, and Poland paid a high price for a war they started out of butthurt for their smuggling operating being publicly denounced by the best Slavs.
Through the next years, Pommerania would at last reach a watershed: the status of Major Power confirmed. However, their country was divided, and they would need much investment to restore the Slavic true faith to its former glory of centuries past, which included saving money for a hiring fair to hope for a missionary advisor to show up. Now, Pommerania was simply unwilling to wage more wars, except maybe for seizing all Polish territories under Teutonic control, while letting Lithuania finish the job by conquering a Gdúnsk that is rightfully theirs. The conversion of Catholics to the old faith would be a difficult and challenging task in this 16th century, a century where much of the world has changed as well, and unfortunately not all pagans were victorious.
In 1513, Nordland was virtually annihilated by Austria, which conquered nearly all German pagan territories. The most surprising event however, was how the "pacifist" and bogomil Srbija crushed the worst turk lik a skul of pig together with their allies, seizing all of Wallachia for themselves in spite of being so small compared to the kebab. And the fact England occupied Paris in a war not so long ago, forcing the frogs to cede one of their territories in Aquitaine, was also quite a surprise. Pommerania is a victorious country, but their rule right now is inefficient, and most of their subjects are heathens. Can they secure internal religious unity and truly revive the Slavic old faith? Will the Jews and melonheads take revenge for their expulsions and the pogrom of Poznan by goading their puppets to try ruining Pommerania's achievements?
Pommerania may be a major power now, but there are much bigger fishes around, particularly Austria and the ever present worst turk.
TO BE CONTINUED
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
It comes as a surprise that you didn't mod in Khazaria with the Melonheads as well as the great Neanderthals of the Pyrenees.
By the way at what year does ITZ trigger?
By the way at what year does ITZ trigger?
Since you mentioned Rome... maybe make restoring Perun Optimus Maximus and Svarog-Vulcan to their rightful temples there your goal?
Cassidy
Arcane
First plan is to spread the Slavic faith through proselytism, a theologian advisor and that handy Divine Supremacy National Idea. This is not Vinland that can make an almost 100% Norse Kwa through colonization. Administrative Efficiency is in the gutter, which means I'll have to halt expansion for a while and focus on improving it through National Ideas like Bureaucracy and fighting multikult by reducing romanism and increasing potato. And I won't expand in the direction of the HRE until I am confident I can completely dismantle the Holy Roman Empire by seizing the capitals of the Emperor and all electors. The reason is simple: gaining cores on HRE provinces take ages.
Which means Pommerania will only fight wars to liberate fellow pagans rather than to conquer more territory for a while.
Finally, the next two updates got 60 screenshots in total, which means a new page is more than needed.
Onwards, then! To the next page!
Kashmir Slippers
Magister
Bump
Come on you lot!
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
Bumpan.
Hellraiser
Arcane
The sea potato sails forward to the next page!
Onwards! For the glory of the True Gods!
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
bumpity bump
We *really* need page 3 guise. Come on, just two more posts!
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
niggers
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
neggernognigs
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